I've always wondered what it was like to die. To surrender myself into the hold of death, much like how my mother had so many years ago.

I've read about death before. Some deaths are peaceful, and some are violent. Some are followed by the scream of discovery, few are led hand in hand with sickness or injury. Still others are ordered around by the never ending boss that is war. He stands at Death's shoulder, telling him to get it done.

War tears apart families. It's something that always happens. Whether it's the loss of a parent in battle, or the death of a sibling while trying to escape, it will always kill.

Always. It's impossible to stop.

My mother's death was impossible to stop. I wish I had known her, because she could have shown me the gentleness a mother gives. Yes, I have my aunt, Lura, but that does not make up for a mother's love.

When I was younger my father's relationship with me was better, but as I get older he drifts away from me, staying in his room for hours on end, seeming like a ghost half the time. On a regular occasion, I only see my grandfather, Thranduil, but even when I do see him he is cold and distant. It is almost like my family no longer exists.

I know I am alone.