C.1: I miss you, Thank you.

"Cilan!"A voice called from afar. A voice I always wanted to hear despite all these problems I am facing... Even though that person... That voice is the reason why i'm hurting.

"Ash?"I turned around, peering at a distance. I was standing at an alley, staring at the trees for hours that can't even understand my own feelings.

Pansage quickly jumped down from my lap, and dashed down the sidewalk, towards the person I always... Loved.

He was with Iris. I stayed under this pine tree because they decided to err... Enjoy the Purrloin carnival that was built a few days ago here in Nimbasa city.

"We thought you dont want any purrloin stuffs so... We bought you this!"Ash handed me a moon pendant."It was just.. 10 dollars so don't expect it to be original or something!"

I quickly take the pendant and keep it in my palm,"No! It's alright. I thought you guys would forget about me."

"Silly! You should have come. Sadly you don't like purrloins. What a kid."Iris mumbled, taking a bite of her purrloin Popsicle.

"Don't expect me to like Purrloins.. I'd rather explore the old carnival than that..."I gulped, tucking the pendant in my pocket.

"Well do you want to explore the old carnival instead?"Ash insisted,"We won't be enjoying this together once I leave for Kalos."

"Do you really have to leave for Kalos?..."My heart almost split in two. Kalos... I just hope I could come with him so I could still see him everyday... 2 months left for us to enjoy this together.

"Well... Yeah... I have a battle to attend... But ill be back here in Unova if you want to!"Ash excitedly uttered the last sentence.

"Of course! I.. We want to! Right Iris?"I quickly replied with a smile on my face.

"Well yeah.. We want to... But... Just because you're fun to laugh at because you are such a kid!"Iris laughs, stopping after a few seconds by the time I glared at her.

"Hmm... But we shouldnt talk about my leaving for Kalos. Let's enjoy the day!"Ash pulled my hand, leaving me unguarded and vulnerable. I felt so weak when he's around me...

"A..Ash."I stuttered, My hands felt cold and my voice is shaking. My heart was beating fast and my vision felt blurry.

Hyperventilating... I don't know why. I should be happy that he's doing this... But... Why am I panicking...? I did this to Ash more than once... But why now? Why does it feel unusual now?

I quickly pulled my hand away from him and stopped for a moment, Iris was worried. Ash suddenly felt bad when I started to breathe heavy and fast.

"A.. Are you okay Cilan?!"Ash was panicking. He stared at me for a few seconds until he dashed down a store to buy water.

"What happened?"Iris asked, pulling me gently to a bench to rest for a while.

"I dont know... I... It was probably just the heat..."I stared at my hands, shaking and cold.

"Heat? It's not hot..."Iris mumbled.

"Cilan! You need water..."Ash handed me a water bottle.

"I...i'm fine Ash. Okay."I tried to calm myself down. Closing my eyes, and thinking nothing.. But...

Ash.

NO NOT ASH! I will just hyperventilate more..

Think about the grass... GRASS...

Grass... Green and soothing... Like... A—

Oh whatever! I think i'm fine now...

I quickly stood up, unbalanced so I quickly fell on... Ash's arms. He was a lot smaller than me but with him holding me, He was dominant.

"Careful. Don't push yourself too much."Ash wrapped my right arm around his neck and assist me in walking.

Iris was walking behind us with her Axew. Pikachu was walking with Pansage.

"We're here. Nothing has really changed. Hasn't it?"Ash uttered, staring at the ferriswheel right in front of us.

"Of course Elesa won't let anyone destroy this. It was a gem after all. Besides, this place is much better than the Purrloin carnival!"Iris insisted.

"So... Cilan... Do you wanna ride a ferriswheel instead so you could rest a bit?"Ash smiled, staring right at my eyes.

"Yeah... Sure... I guess."I smiled back.

Pikachu then pulled Ash's clothes lightly while pointing at Iris who was about to ride a merry-go-round.

"You wanna ride that?"Ash smiled,"But I have to go with Cilan in the ferriswheel. Why dont you and Pansage come with Iris."

Pikachu smiled, turning to Pansage as they both run towards Iris.

"I.. I can stand alone now.."I stood up straight, letting go of Ash as we walked towards the ferriswheel.

It was pass lunch. We were all alone in the ferriswheel since all attention was fed into that Purrloin Carnival.

We step inside the ferriswheel. The operator was really loyal to this carnival... I guess he hates purrloins too... Who wouldn't? They scratch and gives you horrible nightmares...

I sit down next to Ash who was sitting beside the door. The ferriswheel was a closed type and air conditioned one.

We started to ascend slowly from the ground...

"Feeling okay now?"Ash asked, smiling sweetly at me.

"Yeah. I feel relaxed.. You can see the whole Nimbasa city from here..."I peek on the window, cars... Buildings... Pokemons... The view was astounding.

"Were all alone here. What do you wanna do?"Ash said slyly. He really did highlight the 'Were all alone here'.

"W...what do you mean."I scoot to my left side, avoiding Ash's hands and body...

"Well we could play or talk... Or just remain quiet and relax. Or maybe you have something else in your mind that we could do?"Ash pulled out several Trading cards.

"I could guess that you wanna play since you pulled out your trading cards..."I smirked, pulling out the trading cards I collected ever since I was a little boy... Who didn't get a scratch from a purrloin on my head... And... Eyes.

"W..well yeah.. You guessed it."Ash scratched his head and giggles.

He's so cute!

"Okay then let's play.. But only 3 cards each since were gonna leave this ferriswheel after a while..."

We played TCG for 3 minutes until Ash won the round. He was really competitive even when it comes to simple games like this...

But... Were all alone right now...

I have to make my move now...

I have to tell him what I feel about him now... I have to know what he thinks about me...

Every night I can't sleep well because I kept thinking what he felt about me... Maybe now's the right time...?

"Ash."I mumbled, moving a bit closer to him...

"Yeah?"He was busy staring at the buildings and cottonees floating by the air.

"I... I... Have to tell you something."I scoot closer... And closer to him. Until I can feel his hands touching my fingers...

"What is it? It seems serious."Ash turns to me with his sad eyes.

Ash stop doing that! You're ruining my focus...

"well..."I took his left hand with both of mine and placed it on my forehead."I... I don't know how to put this but..."

"Hmm..?"

"I hope you wont think differently of me when I tell you this..."I started, sighing. My heart was beating fast again.

I put his hand down and stared right into his eyes."Ash... I... L—"

"Guys! What are you doing?!"Iris called, opening the ferriswheel door with force."the operator was waiting for you guys to get off.. What a kid."

"Just tell me what you're gonna say to me later okay..."Ash smiled, his hand, sliding off from mine.

My chest felt heavy and it stings... Maybe today's not the right time to say it to him...

But when will be the right time?

Sigh... Iris always ruins my chance to tell him... Maybe Iris is the one preventing me from telling him so I won't be hurt.

Maybe I should thank her...

"Cilan what are you doing sitting around? Come on!"Iris pulled my hand, glaring at me afterwards.

"Oh Ash.. If only you know..."I mumbled under my breath.

"Where should we go next?"Ash excitedly asked Iris.

"I... I'm gonna go at the washroom first okay. Just do whatever you guys want. I'll be waiting at the bench over there okay"I insisted, smiling at them.

"But we wont leave you behind after what happened!"Ash exclaimed, squeezing my hands really tight.

"O...oww! A..ash!!"I groaned, trying to break free from Ash's grip.

"You're not going anywhere! If else, we will come with you now come on Iris!"Ash pulled me down the alley and into the washroom.

"Now we'll wait here outside. Now do your thing."Ash pouts, leaning against the wall.

"Yeah. Ash's right. We will not leave you alone after what happened."Iris insisted afterwards, staring at me with rage in her eyes.

But... All I wanna do there is cry... If they stay here they'll hear me weep...

"Well... I think let's just err... Eat? I'm just gonna go at the washroom later."I laughed, tucking my hands in my pockets.

"But we're already here in front... Of the washroom!"Iris groaned.

"That's fine. If that's what Cilan wants. Let's head to the Pokemon Center then?"Ash then said.

That's touching... For the least that Ash agreed with me instead of Iris. I guess i'll be fine and probably forget about crying.

"Ughhh.. Fine. Im getting hungry anyway. I heard the menu had changed since the last time we went here."Iris' grimace had shifted to a brilliant smile.

"Yeah. That's right. I heard they added some menu straight from Honey Island. In fact.. Almost all the menu from different regions were presented now."I clapped my hands once and lead the team,"Come on!"

"Come on Pansage."I called with a smile as he jumped on my shoulder.

Iris and Ash were right behind me. They were talking about Bianca wether they'll see her again or something. Me? Well I just listen to them chitchat while I try to remain calm and serene. Trying to stop my tears from falling.

~

"We're here!"

Ash quickly opened the door wide open, running towards the restaurant just on the left door of the Pokemon Center.

"Bon Appetit!"Ash shouts, jumping on one side of the table while Iris on the other hand called him a kid once again... Since we haven't ordered and he's shouting Bon appetit..

Those lines reminds me of Burgundy....

Speaking of Burgundy, I wonder how she is?

Did she became an A-Class? Or maybe a B-Class? Or maybe she retains being a C-Class?

Who knows? We havent met for 6 months ever since we left for Pallet town... I.. I mean the train station to Pallet Town.

"What do you guys wanna eat?"I asked, Picking up the menu from the table.

"I want... ALL OF THOSE!"Ash says excitedly, laughing afterwards.

"If you wanna eat all of the items in the menu why dont you eat them all at once?! What a kid!"Iris rolls her eyes and frowns.

"Say... Why don't we order everything so we could taste em all? Let's just share."I suggested, standing up then heading to the counter.

"Good idea!"Ash smiles, relaxing from his seat afterwards. He was sitting beside Iris and Pikachu... And of course, Axew.

While I sit alone with Pansage... Life is unfair. When will I get to sit beside Ash again? Well I did sit with him in the ferriswheel alone... But I didn't get to seize the moment and tell him what I feel... Sighs...

"Everything on the menu."I uttered plainly to the cashier.