I hate you

"One day, I'll marry you"

Nala

"What's the matter Finn?" I asked, his eyes darted towards mine
"What do you mean?" He asked
"I mean we've been here for an hour and you're barely with it, you seem... jittery, so what's the matter?" I asked

"Nothing I... I just wanted to give you a nice night out" he said
"Aren't you sweet" I teased, smiling at him.
"Well then, give me a nice night..." I said.

"How?" He asked
I shrugged
"Wine and dine me" I said
His face turned red as he looked around the pub
"Nal, can I ask you something?" He asked in a hushed voice

"Of course" I smiled, rather confused
"When you... uh... you know when you" he struggled
"When I...?"
"Did... that" he said, looking down embarrassed

"Oh, yes?" I asked, a little taken aback
"Were you... expecting something back?" He asked
"Back?" I echoed
"Yeah, did you want me to do stuff... to you?" He asked
Where was that coming from?

"No, you don't do things to expect things Finn, I did it because I wanted to, I thought you wanted me to-"
"I did" he interjected
"Look Finn, obviously I want us to... but I love you, I want you to be ready for whatever we do" I said

He nodded slowly
"Okay... Isaiah just-"
"You're taking advice from Isaiah?" I laughed
"No he just... made me doubt I guess" he said

"Well don't, we're good, aren't we?" I asked
"Yeah" he said, I leant over the table, kissing him slowly
"Good, why don't you get me a drink then?" I asked sweetly

He rolled his eyes, a smile finally back on his face.

•

"Nala... Nala wake up" Finn's voice rang out
He was nudging me in the shoulder
"What?" I asked, banging noises entering my head
"Go answer the door" he said
"Wha..." I sat up sleepily, the door was banging?

I slowly got up, heading downstairs as Finn turned over, going back to sleep
"Alright!" I shouted, reaching the door
And... dad stood there?
Black and blue
"What... what happened?" I questioned as he barrelled past me, heading for the kitchen

"You got any whiskey?" He asked
"Dad what happened? Did someone beat you up?" I asked
"Obviously" he said, sitting down with the bottle he'd taken from over the sink
"Who?" I asked

"You want to know? Do you? Eh darling?" He asked
"Yes" I said unsure of myself
"Your charming sister had me beaten up" he slurred out
"Are you drunk?" I asked
"I needed something, for the pain" he mumbled
"It's 9am" I said
"Well, threats wait for no one darling, I was beaten up on my way home last night" he said

I sighed, leaving the kitchen for the first aid kit
I patch his head up, angry and confused
Why did Mar have him beaten up?

Why was he drunk? Again
Why couldn't he just... be a normal dad
Be there for me.

"Why did she have you beaten?" I asked
He shrugged
"She never liked me" he grumbled
True.
"She don't want me around ya" he said

"Think I'm not good enough" he went on
"You haven't proven otherwise dad, I've barely seen you since you came back" I said
"I've been busy" he said
"Doing what?" I asked as the telephone rang
"Hold this to your head" I said, standing up
"This and that, I need some way to live Nal!" He shouted after me as I made my way to the phone

"Hello?" I answered
"Hey pumpkin" Liam said
"Liam, what can I do you for?" I asked, glancing back to the kitchen
"I was wondering when I could see you, to start reading" he said

"Oh, shit yeah, uh sorry" I fumbled, I doubt he heard people swearing at him down the phone regularly
"Are you free tomorrow?" He asked
"No, no I uh... I'm free Thursday?" I said, trying to gather my thoughts

"Sure pumpkin, that works, how's 6?" He asked
"6 is fine" I said, wanting to get off the phone
"I'll see you then" he said
"Yeah yeah bye" I rushed out

"Who was that?" Dad asked confused
"No one" I said
"Wasn't that bitch sister of yours?" He asked
"Don't talk about her like that" I said

"Why? She is a bitch, always having a go at me, never giving me a chance, she never gave me a chance" he rambled off
"What do you mean?" I asked
"When you were born, wouldn't let me see ya, wouldn't let me see ya mum, kicked me out the house and never let me back" he rambled off.

She wouldn't do that. She wouldn't...
"Go in there, lie down for a bit okay? I'm going to pop out but Finn's upstairs, Pol will be back soon" I said, he nodded, pulling himself up, shrugging his coat off
"Sure, whatever" he grumbled.

•

"Come to see me?" Mar asked, musing through papers in Tommy's office
"You beat up dad?" I asked
She stopped, slowly sitting herself up properly, with much difficulty
She wasn't completely healed after the charity event

"What has he said?" She asked
"I know it was you, so why?" I said, I wasn't doing this
Where she twists every thing like I don't understand
Like I'm just some stupid kid

She took a moment
"He shouldn't have come back, he isn't your father Nala, he's incapable" she said in an obvious tone
"He's my dad whether you like it or not Mar, it's my choice whether I want to see him" I shouted

"Really? Really? He's your father? I thought fathers were there for their kids? For the birthdays and the Christmas', I thought they spent time with their kids and raised them on good morals, worked hard for their kids rather than taking money from them, he has never and will never qualify as a parent Nala, let alone a good one" she said calmly.

"It's still my choice" I stood my ground
"He doesn't care about you, I know that's hard to hear but it's true, he doesn't care and he never will" she said
"He only cares about the bottom of a bottle, he only cared about mum when he was getting something from her, all he will do is drain you, for anything you have and then he'll move on again, it's what he does" she said.

"He said you kicked him out the house when I was born, that you wouldn't let him see mum, that he didn't choose to leave me" I said.

"...yeah. I kicked him out" she confirmed
"Why?" I asked, tearing up
"Why would you do that?"
"I'm not talking about this Nala, just trust me okay? Trust me when I tell you, you need to send him packing" she said

"I can't believe you" I said sadly. She actually kicked him out?
She drove him away?

"I hate you" I said, storming out of the office.

•

"Pol said I'd find you in here" I said, finding Finn drinking... alone in the stables
"John and Arthur are teaching Michael how to shoot" he said, taking another swig
"And you're jealous" I sighed, sitting beside him in the hay

"No. Just not wanted was I?" He shrugged
I leant my head on his shoulder
Seems like it's been a shit day for the both of us
"Why was your dad home this morning then? Polly kicked him out when she got back" he informed me
Ah, that's why the house was empty when I had got back

"He got drunk. Surprise surprise, Mariana had some guys beat the shit out of him, he looked awful" I explained sadly
Why couldn't they just let me control my own life?

"Why?" He asked confused
"Your guess is probably as good as mine" I said, looking up at him, leaving my chin resting on his shoulder as he drank
"So, rough day then" he chuckled
"For the both of us it seems" I said, taking the bottle from him

"I'm fine. Just..."
"Want to be included?" I guessed
"I just don't get why Michael gets special treatment" he said
"Well, Michael is older, he is naive to our world" i explained
If he didn't at least know how to shoot then he didn't have a hope in hell.

"Naivety is stupidity. That's what Polly says" he reiterated
"Then Michael will pay for his stupidity won't he? Meanwhile, we can go under the radar and get pissed in Tommy's barn" I argued.

"True" he sighed, laying back on the hay
I laid down beside him
"So tell me Finn Shelby" I said
"Tell you what?" He asked, turning his head to look at me
"Tell me again how much you love me" I teased.

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