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And while we were still in South America, Brazil was... different. Safer. That's what I thought at first.

When we landed, I got another text from Suho. He told me an estimated two-thousand fans were waiting at the airport. Whether that was the same or different from Santiago, I wasn't really sure.

When we started walking, the security announced an alternate route. I had no clue what it was supposed to be in the first place, but we followed them and it was shocking. I'd never been to this airport before, but there were no fans on the route we took. A small number of people passed by in the halls and terminals we went through, but none actually stopped to take notice of us, other than realizing we were a large pack of Koreans hauling luggage and wearing face masks.

I took hold of Jimin's hand and we continued on. As we reached the area our vans were waiting, a few cries called out. And then I realized they were lined up behind lines and security guards as we walked through.

I took a deep breath and kept walking. It was fine. They weren't going to get close to me.There was a clear path to the exit and I had no intention of being stopped on my way straight there. Hopefully they wouldn't get me all over camera this time. Suho wouldn't even be able to keep tabs on me.

We continued to the van that reminded me deeply of the one we'd entered in Santiago the day we'd arrived. This one had different coloring on the seats and the paint job was a little sleeker, but with more dirt on the outsides staining the white. The transition to get the boys onto the vehicle was much faster, and I was pleased to discover no screaming fans crowding the van as we departed from the airport. We flopped onto the cream colored seats and got ready to head off again.

As the van started rolling, I noticed the lines of fans waiting outside on the road leading to the exit of the airport. There were tons of them, waving and shouting as we passed. I didn't think they could actually see us through the tinted windows, to my surprise and pleasure.

I didn't think discovering a new place would ever get old. I was most excited to visit the U.S. again, just because of the commonality it was to talk about it in Korea. Not because of my history there. Keeping in mind this was the last destination on tour before I was forced into a portion of my old life was the main thing driving me to enjoy the second part of South America as much as I could.

The hotel was once again a short ride away. It was a little shocking to find there were just as many fans waiting outside the hotel as there were in Santiago, maybe even more. I'd been expecting something like the airport, but then remembered the fansbase there in Sao Paulo was larger than Santiago, and it was only the security that had saved us from the two-thousand screaming fans at the airport.

It seemed the staff were more prepared as well, because we were able to slip inside easily with only a few fans behind us. Room keys were distributed and the eight of us in the band plus Sejin were on the elevator heading to our floor where all the rooms were bunched.

I discovered all the boys were in the same hall and continued to my room.

This hotel was modern. When I first walked into my room, a clean white bed with puffy sheets was to the right. At the end of the room was the window and right in front, the desk. To the left was a shelf with a TV on top, and before that was the door to the bathroom. Simple, but roomy and cozy. The large windows were framed with tall heavy curtains and the furniture was in white thick, woven fabric. Wood accented everything and the desk area was inclosed, as if the desk were made out of shelving. We were high up where you could see the other towering buildings around the area. I loved the city.

I started unpacking but realized the empty feeling that grew as I remembered our first day in Santiago. So much had changed since then and there was now a weird distance between the boys and I. It was enough to be on awkward ends with Suho, but my mood towards the boys hadn't helped my situation and I finally wanted that to change. It was lonely being dismissive to my family.

So I texted Namjoon and Hoseok asking what they were up to. Both said they were eating food with a separate party- Hoseok was with Taehyung and Jungkook, and Namjoon was with Jin and Jimin. I assumed Yoongi was keeping to himself as he often did.

I decided to drop in on Namjoon's group for a moment to make sure everyone was getting settled and to see my food options. Then I'd go hang out with Hoseok and friends. It seemed it'd feel more comfortable. So that was my decision.

"Wow, I can taste Korean flavors," I heard Hoseok's voice ring out when I arrived and opened the door to his room. This time I was given the key to all my brother's rooms for various reasons. Without the need to knock, I decided to call out as I entered.

"Hey, anyone mind if I join you?"

The voices in the room stopped and I saw Jungkook and Tae sitting on the tan chairs with geometric print, Hoseok sitting on the windowsill with a bowl of food in his hands and a spoon raising to his mouth. The table was a mess of plastic and foam containers. They were stuffing noodles into their faces, only their eyes coming up to look at me.

"We're having kimchi in Brazil," Hobi said, giving a quick wave to me as I approached them. "Are you hungry?"

"You bet I am," I said, plopping onto the bed. Jimin handed me a container of the noodle soup and a pair of chopsticks.

"Do you know what the others are up to?" he asked.

As I peeled the plastic lid off I nodded. "Yoongi's putting his equipment together. Jin, Joon, and Jimin are eating as well. Looks like they had the same type of food."

"It's so good," Tae sighed, taking a stick-full of meat and shoving it in his mouth.

"We're in Brazil though," I said, "we should be trying their food. You're not gonna get it anywhere else."

"Let our Korean cravings pursue, please," Jungkook said through a mouthful of noodles. I took a good look at the kimchi and raised an eyebrow.

"Sure. Enjoy the food we have daily when we have the chance to have food sixteen hours away from home."

"This was all still made in Brazil," said Hoseok, "it's got some Brazillian pizazz."

I rolled my eyes but laughed and took a few bites of the food. It was comforting to a certain extent, enough that I couldn't argue with the boys further.

We ate our food happily until Jungkook left to unpack and Tae went off to find something to do. I declined his offer for me to come along because I wanted to watch Hoseok put his music equipment together.

After pulling out his large grey suitcase onto the floor and unzipping it, he sat cross legged and started digging into the left side.

"I need to check this every time. This is for the flights," he explained, taking out a small pouch. That whole half of the case was full of electrons.

"That's so much stuff," I said, stating the obvious. "I don't get how you get to take so much with you everywhere. What if it gets lost?"

"I worry about that all the time," he said as he worked through the contents. After a bit of fiddling I helped him carry items to the large desk area in his room and he started inspecting the items to figure out where and what to plug in. "We have trackers for all of our bags, managed by the company." Out of the things I could recognize, the boys usually had a small MIDI keyboard, a synth or drumset MIDI, double speakers so panning would be noticeable, a microphone, their laptop, a wireless keyboard and mouse, and then a lot of cords and cables connecting the devices or having uses of their own that were unknown to me.

Once things were plugged in and my eyelids were getting droopy from the process, he started searching online for the manuals for some of his equipment, trying to make small talk as he did. He asked me how I was fairing with the tour and how I expected things to go in Brazil. I said it's been fine and I expected it to all continue to be fine. I was excited to see the fans in Sao Paulo and I liked the hotel here.

When he was finally set up he started working on some music and asked if I was still interested in staying. I said I'd keep to myself but if he didn't mind, I'd like to keep watching him.

"I'm working hard like this, even in Brazil," he said with a large grin. "I should. It's my goal this year."

--------

The headache that'd been following me for the last day was less on the morning of the concert, which was a really good thing. We had a fan meeting scheduled at the venue before the concert. We usually did hi-touches at concert venues, but today we were doing a formal sit-down and meet-and-greet. Those were always more exhausting but I was feeling up to it.

The steps felt more repetitive as we were driven to the venue and the normal bustle of setting up for the concert went on around us. I'd been scheduled to join the boys for this fan meeting due to fan requests, so I tagged along for the rehearsal. This one would be much more simple since the performances the boys would do later that night for the fans would remove the need for performances during the fan meeting.

Rehearsal flew by and so did the time while the boys got ready for the night. I felt nerves were less dramatic this time since it was the second time on tour they were performing for fans outside of home. But Namjoon and Jimin had explained my flawed thinking, saying it stressed them out every time. Hoseok agreed.

By the time the fan meeting started, I'd been running about here and there a few times to help the boy shave an extra hand in preparing. The headache was getting worse and the exhaustion more noticable. I'd mentioned it to one of the staff nurse's and my uncle, saying I could handle it but that I'd appreciate a pair of eyes keeping watch on me through the night. Though I hated admitting my weakness, I hated showing it more. It was better I tell them in advance than let something happen to me later and be embarrassed about it.

We entered the stage that evening harvesting screams and shouts for the fans' favorite boy band. Sao Paulo housed dedicated music enthusiasts and it made me happy to see how much they loved the media that came from our home country. After introductions, the games and interacting with all the fans part of the meeting started. We all took our seats at the long table atop the stage and prepared for it to begin.

The individual meet-and-greet portion of the meeting started with me at the end of the line as per usual. MAMA was playing in the background, the bass the most audible part in the room of fans conversing as they waited for their turn to get into line.

This was the first time I'd had a fan meeting internationally. It made me that much more nervous, considering I couldn't speak Brazilian Portuguese and my English wasn't exceptional.

The first fan approached and slid her poster in front of me, holding out a pen and saying something I didn't understand.

"Sign?" I asked, writing in the air with my hand to demonstrate my question in a universal language. She nodded, her fluffy bangs bobbing up and down with the rest of her shiny and flawlessly straight black hair. Her eyes were soft, as well as her lips which were tinted the perfect shade of gradient pink. She reminded me of Yoongi.

I took her Sharpie and flipped the poster around, happy to sign. As I did so, she brought a dark green gift bag up and placed it on the table in front of me. I looked up. Fans didn't often gift me, which made this the first time other than when a fan gave me a bracelet that was meant for Jimin.

I looked at it a moment before the staff that was behind us helping store gifts asked the fan, "Is this for Sujin?"

She nodded, "Yeah, if that's alright."

"Totally! Thank you." I watched as the staff took it and placed it behind my chair. They'd have to check it for any potentially harmful items before it could be mine.

The rest of the meeting went smoothly. It was exciting to see the new fans and the diversity that was yet to be introduced to me until this point. I was thrilled and felt more company as I met the fans who lived so far away from us but knew us from phone screens and social media.

The boys had talked to me about how they really felt the ARMY's love when we were on tour, and while I was usually happy with seeing the many messages on Twitter and the YouTube views and comments, I was starting to really see what they meant. It was like faith. You know they're there, but it's hard to believe it for yourself until you actually see it with your own eyes. It made me wonder how it would feel when their fame wore off or they disbanded. I shivered thinking about it.

After the meeting, we were all rushed backstage to get ready for concerts again. The only thing I was worried about was Jungkook. He was in much better condition now, but the memories of the last concert the boy's had held stuck a pin in my heart and a fog in my brain that I couldn't dispose of.

Kook and I were relaxing on a couch in the artist's area when I looked up at him. "Jungkookie oppa, please. Remember what I've been trying to tell you lately, please don't work yourself too hard. We were so worried about you last time and we don't want it to happen again."

He looked up from his phone, his doe eyes looking straight at mine for a few moments. "I won't," he said softly. Then a smile cracked on his face. "I don't want to repeat that. It was embarrassing."

I smiled back. "I'm sure it was. It also must not have felt very good. Please don't do it again."

"I'll try not to, that's for sure. But I might not know I'm doing too much until it's too late."

"Just be careful from the get-go, then."

"I will, I just-"

"Sujin? Your gift was cleared."

I did it! Hehe I updated.

Stay healthy, happy, and safe! Love you all! Borahae!

-Rose