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I don't remember ever feeling as nervous as I did that night during the first concert of the Wings tour- even though I wasn't performing. The crowd was roaring above the stage and the pre-curtain music blared. Part of me begged to see the sea of fans above that I knew was the largest one I could imagine. I wanted the support for my brothers. The other part of me wanted to count them all, just so I knew there weren't a million people there to criticise them.

But I'd been the one that saw every dance practice, choreo making, song production, and set planning meeting. I was there those nights the boys were working until the early morning and dragged themselves out of bed early the next day. I'd seen the work put into the tour, and I knew there was no way people couldn't appreciate it. There was no lying, they had the coolest setlist, choreo, and set I'd ever seen. The last part of me was more than excited for all of it. To see more ARMY, fans who felt like family around, and to see their reactions to the new things we had in store.

And goodness, did they scream.

The opening song was Not Today. The boys were raised on platforms as the screen version of curtains slowly moved out of the way. Their heads down, the seven of them leveled out with the main stage as the intro to the song played.

It was frantic the rest of the concert. I barely knew what was happening as song titles flashed through my head as I heard them. It felt things calmed down a little when Jin stood before the more quiet crowd, giving his ending speech.

I'd been told I would be allowed to a part of the stage that looked out to the main one, but also where I'd be somewhat hidden. With a staff beside me, I watched as they talked to the fans from on stage as if they were family.

"So many things that we feel grateful for happened in 2016," the oldest said, "but the most important thing is getting our new sister, Sujin, along with you guys, ARMY."

The crowd cheered happily at his comment as their army bombs waved through the sea.

Taehyung took a turn. "We could give this big concert thanks to you, ARMY." He went into a funny prace backwards, shooting finger hearts at the crowd. They loved it. "Really, we truly thank you. No. We love you!"

As the concert ended, I felt the heavy hearts of everyone. The boys were going to start travelling soon, no longer performing in the familiar land they'd grown up in. The staff would get ready for the long journey hauling all the supplies and leaving their own families after the last concert in Korea the next day. And this round of fans in Seoul would have to wait a long time to see their idols in concert again.

When we got backstage and everyone's eyelids were heavy with fatigue but wide from the exciting scene, we all sang happy birthday to Hoseok. We started the tour on his special day. It was also the first birthday I'd been able to spend with him.

As the memory played in my mind, I couldn't help but laugh. Hoseok posed for a camera one of the staff held, showing off the two-tiered cake covered in clean, white frosting that held a small picket sign, 'Happy Jhope Day, 2017.03.18'.

Jimin approached Hoseok, "We promised we won't play with food."

"Oh, right," the elder said, eyeing the beautiful cake that looked more meant for eating than playing with, as the boys commonly liked to do.

"Let's just eat it."

I'd never seen a greater example of irony, as moments after Jimin suggested we eat the dessert, he put his hand on the side of the cake, picking up a bit of frosting and inching the covered hand toward Hoseok's cheek. As he did so, Hobi turned away, slowly trying to escape the possibility of the frosting smearing his cheek as Jimin headed for it.

Sadly, it wasn't enough. Hoseok's attempt to escape Jimin's messy hand ended with the cake sliding off the box he had been holding it on, and the dessert landed on the couch in front of him. A few staff around the room gasped, and seconds later, Yoongi, who was sitting with his back towards where it landed, widened his eyes.

"Hey, that's my bag," a voice said from outside the drama.

"Sorry-"

"Your bag's covered in cream!" Jungkook gasped.

Hoseok quickly turned to recover the cake, leaning over it. "Lift it straight up," He instructed whoever was approaching to help as Yoongi stood still, knowing the whole cake had planted behind him.

As the cake was slowly picked up and reassembled, the boys started chanting, "Park Jimin! Park Jimin!"

I couldn't help but laugh while trying to purse my lips together as Namjoon grabbed his bag that was now covered in cream. I felt the second-hand embarrassment from Jimin, and also the distress of Namjoon.

"How much is the bag?" Hoseok asked his scowling brother.

Namjoon just hunched over it, trying to get the cream off and ignored the other's question. "Oh, come on. What now?"

Hoseok was laughing as he watched the younger's attempt to save the bag. "He said the f word."

"That's an expensive bag!" Jungkook exclaimed.

"Ah, hyung," Jimin cried while laughing. He kneeled down to the elder as if he were begging for forgiveness.

But in the end, they were all able to calm down from the experience, and from the thrill they'd experienced a little earlier with the concert.

Some words from Namjoon's speech at the final concert in Seoul the next night stuck with me.

"Whenever we read your letters, we can feel how you're dealing with life and how you're surviving it. How you're dealing with pain. And we like that very much. So we want to stay together with the love that you show us to continue to feel you and walk this road together. As long as we stay together, just like the title of our song, we will see the spring day come. I have no doubt about that. So let's spread our wings and fly to our spring day. Thank you."

The way BTS' name chanted through those thousands of ARMY's hearts stole a special place in my heart that day as well. I couldn't wait to hear it again.

I took a seat on one of the black chairs that were in the artist room backstage, remembering I was now in Santiago. Homesickness was creeping into my mind.

"We had our clothes on backwards and busted out B-boy moves here," Jin reminisced, looking over the boys who were taking seats around me in the artist's waiting room.

"Right!"

"Do that one more time."

I watched the boys converse with a laugh, commenting, "I remember that video turned into a meme."

"It's been ages since then," Hoseok admitted.

"Not really, but it probably feels like it. It was literally 2015 or sum," I reasoned.

Everyone kept talking over each other. Hoseok blurted, "I need to catch some sleep," before turning and diving head first onto the couch, landing upside down with his legs reaching towards the ceiling.

"He did the same thing last time," Jimin said.

"I know." I couldn't help but start a fit of laughter. "I remember Jungkook doing that..." The laughter took my voice for a second. "That also turned into a meme."

"Back then, Yoongi was lying here," Hoseok pointed at my seat.

Yoongi leaned back from where he was standing, "I wasn't on that chair. I was crumpled up like this in all white," he took a seat on one of the chairs and pulled his legs back to his chest as much as he could in black skinny jeans.

"Did we shoot a live here?" Jimin asked, grabbing the attention.

"Yeah, we did," Hoseok said.

"Right!" Yoongi agreed, "The WiFi didn't work."

We all laughed and then the boys settled down for a little, chatting until the staff told us they were ready for outfits, makeup, rehearsals, the usual pre-concert routine.

They practiced their English, a skill that had come closer to me earlier that year. With the boys practicing to prepare for their world tour when we were at home, I started to remember more and more of the English I learned when I lived in America for two years. It wasn't a skill I felt good to have. While useful, I'd learned it in my past, and I'd been doing good at not dwelling on my past since I'd started my new life with the boys. Nonetheless, I let myself use it when I needed, since English was helpful when traveling. I wasn't extremely good, but every once in a while I'd remember a few words, or a sentence, and it'd come to me without thought. It was pretty nice, and it motivated me to practice more often.

We had a whole day ahead of us at the venue, but what gave me faith was knowing the crowds of fans outside. We were surrounded with so many ARMY at the moment, and not the same ones that we'd always been able to see in Korea. The Chilean ARMY were so unique. The boys had told me before how much energy they could seem to grasp from the fans here, even despite the scorching weather that would usually deplete them of the fire that kept them performing.

When we arrived that day in our white tour vans, I'd seen the lines, the crowds, the seemingly endless picture of fans waiting to enter the venue. Sadly, I knew they were left to wait in line or outside the venue until the gates were opened about an hour and a half before showtime. From videos and social media, I knew they'd have their own festive ways to spend the time together. They'd be meeting each other, performing, doing dance plays, exploring the merch booths, and getting excited for the concert. I could only imagine what that would look like.

That was when a thought crossed my mind. I was sitting there, waiting as my brothers were busy paying attention to the stylists, choreographers, and crew, and I had pretty much the rest of the day to figure out what to do with myself.

After I stood from the chair I still hadn't left all day, it took a little wandering around racks of clothing and tables of makeup to find our leader.

"Namjoon?" I asked after his stylist presented an outfit to him and he approved it with a nod, leaving her to guide him to the accessories.

"Kid?" he turned to me, "what's up?"

I puckered my lips in thought. "So basically-"

"What are you thinking?" he laughed. "Whenever you start your requests that way, it's because you know I'm not going to easily say yes."

"I know, but I'm still going to give it a try."

"Shoot for it, then." He followed his stylist to a table displaying his choices of bracelets. I trailed behind.

"I was just thinking about the fans."

"Mhm hm, what about the fans?"

"There's so many of them outside..."

"Yes?"

"And, well... I'm not completely sure what I want-"

"I can tell."

"Stop interrupting me, Joon," I laughed.

He chuckled, "Go on."

I cleared my throat. "So I know they all like to do festive things like dance covers and trading fanmade merch and stuff. And there's so many ARMY to meet, and I know I can't speak to any of them, well, not very well, but I was kinda hoping to go out and-"

"You want to go out into the crowd? Like where they're just waiting in lines?" He sounded skeptical of the idea, twisting his mouth as he glanced at me from the bracelets the staff was showing him.

"Yeah?" He didn't reply. "Namjoonie, I have nothing else to do-"

"What about your school lessons?"

"I finished!"

"You did? Already? By noon?"

"Yes? I didn't have any live classes today. Anyways, I know there's so much going on out there. It's a huge party of ARMY!"

"I thought just earlier you were talking about how their screams make you feel sick sometimes."

My voice softened. "But they scream about you guys, not me."

My brother set down the bracelet he'd been inspecting and looked at me. "You're right," he sighed, "but did you plan to take a staff with you? I don't think we have a ton of them to dispose of at our approval. Everyone that was flown here was flown here for a reason. It's not cheap, Sujin."

"I know, I know Joon. it was just an idea, if it doesn't work,"

"No, no. Wait." He grabbed a bracelet from the table, handed it to the staff, and then turned back to me. "Let me finish my second stage outfit and then I have something that might work."

Everywhere I looked, there were fans chanting BTS. But this time, their screams weren't from a video, or their lit faces frozen in a picture, and I wasn't watching them from the other side of gates and fences keeping the fans from the staff, idols, and I. The boy's name echoed everywhere, though there was no reason- at least one that I could see. I could hardly see anything except people, which included fans, security guards, and staff.

It also included the camera crew Namjoon had let me tag along with. And he wasn't the most friendly one, either.

He was one year older than me, just old enough for his first job. That was what I assumed. He for sure was the youngest BigHit staff I'd met, and I'd never seen him around before the tour. I couldn't imagine how his parents had let him come all this way for a job, but knowing BigHit, he was getting paid well, that was for sure. He had refused to tell me his name, and wouldn't even care to look at me straight in the eyes.

"I'm going to get some good shots of those.. dance show festivals the fans are doing," he said. "I don't know why the heck they go to all that bother to learn something they're going to watch their...idols so all night, but I was instructed to. Sooo." His voice was low, but smooth. His words came out fast, as if he didn't have to think twice about them, like stumbling over pronunciation was something foreign to him.

The large camera slung over his neck was picked up in his seemingly soft and proportionate hands. The clues told me he was a photographer. "I'm sorry, is your name Sujin?"

I had been so close to making a comment about him putting the ARMY down for their enthusiasm learning choreography, but then was taken aback to realize he didn't really know my name. Didn't everyone know my name?

"Yeah, I'm Sujin. The sister of-"

"So apparently the BTS guys wanted this documentary film series thing filmed with a large focus on the crowd here in Santiago." He said the English name for it clearly, throwing his Korean accent away for the word. "So I'm here to do my job and that's it. You follow me, I hope you get the taste of... whatever you wanted, whyever you wanted it- not sure. But don't make this hard for me. I need the money."

"Do- Do you speak English?" I asked him, still thinking about his pronunciation of Santiago.

"Did you hear my question? No, I don't speak English. Don't assume."

I was taken aback. "I'm sorry-" He started walking towards the crowd as the cover of the arena that had been shading us from the Chile heat left, leaving me to try to match his large strides. He was tall. "I just thought your pronunciation was good, that's all."

"Cool." He stopped in his tracks, leaving me to abruptly stop right behind him. I almost lost my balance, ready to fall onto his back. I took a few steps backwards to study myself.

Crouching, he took a few shots of the crowd. We were just behind the security gates where fans were waiting to get in.

Seeing that we were the only ones at this side of the gate, I realized the fans would quickly draw their attention to us if they saw us. "I think we should-"

"I have the pass to get around here, not you. Follow me."

"No, look, the fans can all see us clear as day right here, we're the only ones beyond the gates-"

"And your... 'brothers' told you to wear those sunglasses, change into that outfit, and wear a cap to look like a staff like me. I think I know the fans know who you are, I mean they make that pretty clear," he mumbled near the end. He stood up straight and turned to me, finally looking me in his very light brown eyes. "Do you like me?"

Life continues to be life for author-nim. But it'll be alright! I enjoyed the time I spent today and recently writing and editing! Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Also, yesterday was co-author Kai's birthday!! Give her some happy b-day wishes  in the comments if you can!! --> 

Thanks if you're still sticking around with this series!! I'm really enjoying writing it.

Stay safe, healthy, and happy!

-Rose