Truth Hurts

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In Al's apartment, Woody, Jessie, Prospector, Bullseye, Mighty Eagle, Red, Chuck, and Bomb were watching an episode of Woody's Roundup.

Mighty Eagle: "So, is this almost over? Because I wanna take a look at some of my stuff."

Red: "You mean our stuff. Unlike Woody here, we all share the lead role."

Mighty Eagle: "Yeah yeah. Sure."

Prospector: "Shh."

The TV shows Jessie and Prospector in a mine.

Jessie: "They don't call this the old abandoned mine for nothin, Prospector. I reckon we oughta get outta here."

Prospector: "Where's my gold? Hold on, I'll light me a candle."

He does so. The fire burns the fuse quickly.

Prospector: "This sure is a fast burning wick."

Jessie: "Blast us to smithereens! That there's dynamite!"

Prospector: "Holy tarnation!"

Jessie: "I'll call for help. Yodle-Hee-Hoo!"

Critters from outside the mine respond to Jessie.

Jessie: "Hey critters. Go get sheriff Woody. Now scoot!"

They all dash to find Woody. He and Bullseye were painting a schoolhouse.

Woody: "Good job Bullseye. I reckon the new schoolhouse is finally done."

The critters arrive to tell Woody what has happened to Jessie and Prospector.

Woody: "What's that? Jessie and Prospector are trapped in the old abandoned mine, and Prospector just lit a stick of dynamite thinking it was a candle, and now they're about to be blown to smithereens?"

Rabbit: "Uh-huh."

Woody: "Ride like the wind, Bullseye!"

He gets on Bullseye and they take off, jumping over obstacles.

Prospector: "You're fanning the flames, Jessie. It takes brains to put out that fire." He sits on the fire, only to instantly regret it. "YOW!! MY BISCUITS ARE BURNING!!"

Bullseye reaches a canyon and fearlessly jumps. With Woody on his back, they fly high in the sky, hoping to reach the other side.

TV Narrator: "Will Woody and Bullseye land to safety? Can they reach Jessie and Stinky Pete in time? Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion, "Woody's Finest Hour"!"

Woody: "Alright! Alright, next tape!"

Mighty Eagle: "Wait I thought we were..."

Jessie turns off the TV.

Woody: "Hey wait wait, what? What happened? What happens next? Come on let's see the next episode."

Prospector: "That's it."

Woody: "What?"

Prospector: "The show was cancelled after that."

Bomb: "Let's go explore."

Mighty Eagle: "Yes! Finally. Sorry Woody."

Mighty Eagle gives the other birds a lift and they climb the shelf. He follows them.

Woody: "Wait wait wait wait. What about the gold mine? And the..." Bullseye gives him a lift to climb up the shelf. "And the cute little critters and the dynamite. That was a great show, I mean why cancel it?!"

Prospector: "Two words: Sputnik."

Red: "I'm pretty sure that's one word."

Prospector: "What difference does that make? But once the astronauts went up, children only wanted to play with space toys."

Woody: "I know how that feels."

Mighty Eagle: "Hehe. Wanna tell them?"

Prospector: "Tell us what?"

Woody: "It's not important. The matter got resolved eventually. But still, my own show. I mean look at all this stuff."

Jessie: "Didn't you know? Why you're valuable property."

Woody: "Oh I wish the guys could see this."

Mighty Eagle: "Wait, how did we get famous again?"

Chuck: "Mostly video games. But there's also shows, movies."

Red: "Don't spoil it. Let him see for himself."

Mighty Eagle: "Look at this. Little race cars. Sweet. Oh, T-Shirts and hoodies galore. And how about fruit snacks."

Red: "Not edible anymore."

Mighty Eagle: "Woody, I think I've got cooler stuff. I mean, I don't see board games, or clay figures, or blocks on your side."

Woody: "Well, agree to disagree. Hey howdy hey, that's me. I'm on a yo-yo. Ah, hey nice teeth." He throws a ball at a tooth to knock it out. "And yet still a good looking guy."

Bomb: "Hey, pull down on this."

Mighty Eagle: "What is it?"

He sees a small slingshot with a bird sitting on it. He aims at a building with green pigs on it. He fires at the building and knocks it down.

Mighty Eagle: "First try!"

Red: "Okay, make sure we clean that up."

Chuck quickly got to work in rebuilding the building that was knocked down.

Mighty Eagle: "Hey, I'm on a lunchbox! And a cereal box! Okay these are my favorites."

Red: "Of course they are."

Mighty Eagle: "Hey, what's this space one?"

Chuck: "Which one?"

Mighty Eagle: "This one that looks like it came from movies that I've seen before. Look at it. Red, you look just like the main character."

Chuck: "And I'm the guy who gets the girl!"

Bomb: "I may not be smart, but they changed that when I'm the old mentor guy."

Red: "Yeah but we don't talk much about that in front of Pete. (Whispers) "He's got some problems when we bring up the word space."

Woody continues exploring his side. He clicks a model of Prospector, which tosses a coin to a model of Woody, which then puts the coin in a bucket.

Woody: "Oh, it's a bank. Cool." He moves on to something else. "What, do you push the hat? And out, oh out come bubbles. Clever. Oh wow. Hey what's this thing do?"

He steps on a spur of a boot and out came a snake.

Woody: "Hahaha. I get it. There's a snake in my boot." He puts it back in the boot. "Oh hey, Bullseye. Go long. Go long!"

Woody shoots the snake elsewhere. Bullseye jumps but couldn't catch it. It ends up in Chuck's arms, startling him. Bullseye landed on a record player and it began spinning.

Woody: "A record player. I haven't seen one of these in ages."

He jumps on and began running on it.

Woody: "Okay now, slow."

Jessie: "Oh that's funny Bullseye."

Woody: "Hop on, cowgirl."

Chuck: "Oh we may not be part of your set, but I wanna piece of that!"

He and Bomb get on.

Red: "Guys there's too many of you on there."

Mighty Eagle: "Oh no there's not. There's room for two more."

He picks him up and they get on.

Woody: "Think fast."

Everyone jumps over the needle. Bomb tripped and fell off the record player. Mighty Eagle chuckled then fell off too. Jessie almost fell off but she kept her balance.

Woody: "Not bad."

Chuck: "Do a trick!"

Jessie thought about it and jumped on the needle, landing on her hands, then pushed herself upward and stuck the landing. Once she did, Woody sped up the record player and they began running. Red couldn't keep up and he flew off, landing in Mighty Eagle's arms.

Jessie: "Look at us, we're a complete set!"

Prospector: "Now it's on to the museum!"

Woody: "Museum?"

He stopped in his tracks and ended up colliding with Chuck, Jessie, and Bullseye. They all fly off the record player.

Woody: "What museum?"

Prospector: "The museum. We're being sold Konishi Toy Museum in Tokyo."

Mighty Eagle: "Am I supposed to know where that is?"

Jessie: "That's in Japan."

Woody and Mighty Eagle: "Japan?"

Woody: "No no no no no. I can't go to Japan."

Red: "What are you talking about? Of course you can."

Woody: "No, we can't."

Jessie: "What do you mean?"

Woody: "I gotta get back home to my owner, Andy. Hey look, look, see?"

He shows them Andy's name written under his boot.

Jessie: (gasp) "He still has an owner."

Prospector: "Oh my goodness."

Red: "Wait, if you have an owner, does that mean..."

Mighty Eagle: "Sorry guys. I don't have a name on my foot or anything, but he and I came from the same place."

Bomb: "Why didn't you tell us?"

Mighty Eagle: "You never asked."

Jessie: "No, can't go."

Red: "Calm down."

Jessie: "I can't do storage again! I just can't!"

Prospector: "Jessie. Jessie."

Jessie: "I won't go back in the dark!!"

Bomb: "We're doomed."

Chuck: "What do we do?"

They fall to their knees bawling.

Woody: "What's the matter? What's wrong with them?"

Prospector: "Well we've been in storage for a long time waiting for you."

Woody: "Why me?"

Prospector: "The museum is only interested in the collection if you're in it, Woody. Without you, we go back into storage. It's that simple."

Mighty Eagle: "Well why can't you find another Woody, or another me?"

Prospector: "If only it were that easy."

Jessie: "It's not fair! How could you do this to us?!"

Woody: "Hey look, I'm sorry, but this is all a big mistake. You see, we were in this yard sale..."

Prospector: "Yard sale? Why were you in a yard sale if you have an owner?"

Woody: "Well I wasn't supposed to be there. I was trying to save another toy..."

Prospector: "Was it because you were damaged? Hmm? Did this Andy break you?"

Woody: "Yeah but, no, no no it was an accident."

Red: "What about you? You don't look broken. Why were you with him?"

Chuck: "Maybe Andy thought he was ugly."

Mighty Eagle: "Look he may not have played with me as much as he does with Woody. And I may not be as loved by the rest back at home, but..."

Bomb: "I'm sorry I don't do well with long stories. You're beginning to lose me."

Jessie: "Sounds like he really loves you."

Woody: "It's not like that, okay? And I'm not going to any museum!"

Jessie: "Well I'm not going back into storage!"

They hear a loud noise outside.

Mighty Eagle: "What was that?"

Prospector: "Al's coming."

Red: "Chuck, did you fix the set?"

Chuck: "Done and done."

Bomb: "Cannonball!"

He jumps in the box filled with styrofoam. Chuck follows him by diving into it. Mighty Eagle was about to jump in when Red stopped him.

Red: "No, you're in the glass case. Next to Woody."

Prospector: "Go, go on Jessie."

She was hesitant.

Prospector: "Jessie look at me. I promise you'll come out of the box. Now go! Go!"

She jumps in with Prospector, Red, and Bullseye right behind. Woody and Mighty Eagle retreat back to their glass cases. They make it in time. Al opens the door with a camera in his hands.

Al: "It's showtime!"

He starts with his Angry Birds collection, setting Red, Chuck, Bomb, and Mighty Eagle beside each other in front of a poster that had the background of the original video game, with the titular characters on it. After taking several pictures of them with different backgrounds and poses, he puts them back in their respective places. Then he gets ready for Woody's Roundup.

Al: "Oh ho ho, money baby. Money money money."

He places Prospector, Jessie, and Bullseye in their spots, then he laughs and goes for Woody.

Al: "And now, the main attraction."

He pops the glass case open and pulls Woody out. Little did he know that a string on Woody's ripped arm got caught by a bar in the case. The string got pulled and eventually fell. When Al went to set Woody down, he gasped. Woody had lost his arm.

Al: "Dah! No! His arm. Where's his arm?"

He sees it on the floor. He picks it up and tries desperately to put it back.

Al: "No, no, no no no no! What am I going to do?! Oh I know I know."

He dials a number on his phone.

Al: "Come on come on pick up the phone!"

"Hello?"

Al: "It's me, it's Al. I got an emergency here!"

"Well I'm busy."

Al: "Yes we're all busy, but, look it has to be tonight!"

"What? You have got to be kidding."

Al: "All right all right. But first thing in the morning."

Al leaves the room. In an instant, Woody shrieks with fear.

Woody: "AHH!! It's gone! I can't believe it, my arm is completely gone!"

Mighty Eagle: "Woah! What's Andy gonna think now?"

Prospector: "Alright come here. Come on. Let me see that. Oh it's just a popped seam. Easily repaired. You should consider yourself lucky."

Woody: "Lucky? Are you shrink wrapped? I am missing my arm!"

Jessie: "Big deal."

She shoots a dart at a tall cardboard statue of Woody, hitting his head.

Jessie: "Let him go. I'm sure his precious Andy is dying to play with a one-armed cowboy doll."

Prospector: "Why Jessie you know he wouldn't last an hour on the streets in his condition. It's a dangerous world out there for a toy."

Mighty Eagle: "So I guess we're stuck here until he's all fixed up."

Red: "Don't get your hopes up. No one said you will actually leave."

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