Rant Number Sixteen: Borderline Porn Scenes

        Okay, they're not really 'borderline' when it goes straight into 'digits being inserted into ports' or whatever. The thing is, while these scenes can turn out very sensual and very well done, most of the time, well, they don't.

        So, I know this author who shan't be named, but, she does these scenes. And they turn out really well. Like, the entire book is these borderline porn scenes. And it works pretty well for her for the most part.

        And then I know this other author who shan't be named, who has also tried her hand at these.

        And every time I see them all I want to do is just bitch her out and shake my head and walk away all at once. It's bad. Like, it's really, really bad.

        The main difference, is, well, the second author's scenes really just seem like a rip-off of the first author's scenes. And it's not a good rip-off. It's a very bad rip-off. More so, I lost a lot of interest and just general . . . 'good feelings' for this author because of these scenes.

        And why? Because they weren't . . . Classy. They weren't really thought out. It was just this thing where it's like, a mash-up of porn and transformers to see what happens. It kinda makes me sick.

        A lot.

        I mean, most of the time, it's just poorly thought out and it's rushed into. I mean, literally, it just seems to come out of nowhere. And always seems to be something extreme and forced and it seems there's always rape involved at some point if it is done.

        Why? Why must sex always involve rape?

        I don't take this lightly. Both of my best friends were raped. I'm not going to read shit with rape in it if it's going to be for no damn reason other than the fact that the auther feels like slapping some serious smut straight into the story.

        And aside from that, as if it wasn't awkward enough, it's weird to try and go back to just normal plot lines after that, you know?

        "Yup, just read some porn, now let's go back to the main storyline of bunnies and unicorns!"

        Okay, maybe not that extreme, but you get the point. It throws off the vibe of the story. If you really want to write it, but don't feel like turning the entire book into Fragging Central, then try making a separate book for all your smutty desires. It's what I did. And it currently has one chapter, ever since . . . September 30th of 2013. Seriously. I don't write a lot of smut. Though I probably could.

        My main problem with slapping smutty scenes right into the book is the fact that, well, there are some younger readers on the site. And then these 12 or 13 year olds are reading robo-fucking trying to figure out how all this works.

        Okay, they probably understand how it works for the most part, but do you see my point?

        We don't need to be fucking around and just smacking some smut scenes into the middle of transformers books. In case you haven't noticed, they're not overtly sexual creatures. They don't go around fragging every hot piece of metal ass they notice. It's just not how it works. So if you would all just quick walking around like it's your right to desecrate transformers and the transfans who thought reading your story was a good idea (and some of them probably still will) but I for one think it's ridiculous and don't want to see an overflow of smut in an otherwise innocent fanfic.

        And please, for the love of Primus, do not be inserting interfacing scenes just because you can't think of anything else to do. That's terrible. And quite noticable, thank you.

        If you're going to do something that looks like it belongs on a porn site, then for the love of Primus make it tasteful. And please tone it down on all the damn rape scenes. Yes, it happens. Yes, it's far more common than I am comfortable with. But you, as an author, are not helping when you're trying to make it something sexy. If you're going to do it, don't fucking focus on the pleasure, focus on the damn pain and discomfort or I will be absolutely disgusted with you.

        Make your smut as tasteful as you fucking can, please.

        ~Do your research before getting involved in the transfan universe.