Confession

Like déjà vu, the slamming of a door jerks me awake again. My eyes open to a dark room, and it takes time for my pupils to dilate. My body feels heavy as lead—alcohol is still coursing through my veins, but less intense than earlier. As my body de-numbs with my consciousness, I feel an arm laying on my waist. Once I can see I notice Taeyoung looking at me.

His open eyes shock me for a moment, causing me to gasp in surprise.

"Oh geez. You scared me."

He lightly snorts with amusement.

"Why are you awake?" I ask.

"I can't sleep."

"Oh..." My heart begins to beat fast, the sober part of me more aware of the situation at hand. All I can look at are his eyes, which are looking at my lips.

His fingers come up to my lips, softly tracing their shape. I'm frozen in shock. What is he doing?

His thumb moves up to my cheek, slowly and agonizingly grazing my skin. I feel hot, the complete opposite of hours earlier. Finally, his thumb traces the outline of my eye, running underneath my eyebrow before stopping at my temple. Now his hand is cupping my face, palm on my cheek, thumb on my temple, and fingers in my hair.

My breathing is ragged as I watch him. Say it. Just say it.

The tipsy part of me tries to convince myself, but I keep swallowing the words. Eventually, they come out, the confidence I had when drunk coming back out.

"I like you."

My words hang in the darkness.

His eyes move to look at my own.

The silence is enough to kill me. Say something asshole, don't make me second guess myself like this. I can feel my insides get itchy, eager to move away from him in embarrassment. My lips part as my breathing gets heavier.

"I like you too."

These words immediately soothe my body, and instead of feeling embarrassed, a wave of nerves washes over my whole being. My heart could probably beat out of my chest at this point.

Now what, I ask myself. We stare at each other way too much.

I can tell it's about 6 in the morning because a soft, dim light slowly makes its way through the thin sheet covering the window above the bed. It's still dark, but soft shadows begin to form.

Do I just... go back to sleep?

All of a sudden Taeyoung holds both sides of my face with his hands, bowing my head before his lips softly press against my forehead. Time seems to go by slowly—my breath hitches in my throat, eyes wide, hands moving to hold onto his shirt. His lips feel soft against my skin, and they linger there before he moves, placing his forehead against mine, nose touching my own.

He looks so cute up close.

His eyes are soft as they look at me, and I realize then that it's because of how he looks at me that I'd trust this boy with my life. It's not lighthearted, it never was. From day one when I dropped those papers, his gaze on me was deep, yet soft. So inviting that I always find myself lost in his brown eyes, struggling to look away.

And with my eyes still lost in his own, his gaze shifts, looking at my lips before lightly placing his full lips on my own. It is so soft that I almost don't feel him, as soft as a butterfly's wings fluttering against my hands.

As cheesy as it all sounds, at this moment everything feels so surreal. Every sensation feels so very heightened. My eyes finally close with his, my hand moving to lay against his warm cheek. And we stay like this, lying side by side, lips on each other, not daring to deepen the kiss. He pulls back and adjusts his body so that my head rests against his chest.

And I fall asleep in his arms yet again.

***

Now it is really morning, for the sun fills up the room completely. Despite not wanting to move, my stomach is grumbling, begging for some food to fill it up. My face is towards the wall with the window, and I feel warmth behind me. Slow breaths hit the back of my neck, inducing chills on my body despite its warmth.

Taeyoung is against me, arm around my stomach, mouth softly breathing against the back of my head. My legs are even tangled with his as if we've grown roots overnight and become one.

I don't want to move, don't want to wake up from this dream.

And what a lovely dream it is.

So I don't move. I just stare at the wall for I don't know how long, taking in this feeling of being held. Of feeling someone else against me, holding me as if I was the most important thing to them.

I hope he remembers our kiss. Wouldn't that be embarrassing, if he thought it was a dream? I grow nervous, itchier to move now than before.

Before I can come up with a plan to escape, I feel something against the back of my neck, and it isn't his breath. His lips press against the skin there, kissing me. I turn my head back to see Taeyoung now awake. His eyes are droopy, a small smile on his goofy mouth.

So he does remember.

I turn my full body around to face him. "Good morning," I try to force the words out, but the alcohol from last night has caused me to have a raspy, dry voice.

He chuckles, hand stroking my hair. "굿모닝 [good morning]," he says in Konglish.

I absentmindedly pull my bottom lip into my mouth, remembering our kiss and not sure how to feel about it.

"배고파 [Are you hungry]?"

I nod, lip still in between my teeth. I immediately feel at a loss when he leaves the bed. I slowly get up after him, losing my balance a bit.

I grab his hand and walk with him to the kitchen. He begins pulling out a frying pan, turning on the gas stove. I look around while he starts to cook some eggs and warm up pre-cooked bowls of rice. When I walk over to the couch my hands cover the gasp that escapes my mouth.

Minjun lies on the couch, on his stomach, drool threatening to fall from his agape mouth, wearing only his black underwear. I stifle a laugh, eyes watering from the sight. Taeyoung looks at me peculiarly. Just then Junwoo comes into the kitchen. He begins talking to Taeyoung casually before seeing me, then his words immediately stop, face growing red in embarrassment.

"Hello," I whisper to him.

Why does he look that way? Like he shouldn't be seeing me?

He asks Taeyoung something in a quiet voice, which makes Taeyoung repeat "아니, 안돼 [no, no way]" multiple times in Korean, his ears getting red.

When I feel the hair on top of my head I realize that it's an absolute mess.

I quickly walk to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. My assumption was right. My hair is all over the place and there is black mascara smudged underneath my eyes. My skin is also glistening from sweating while I was drunk, and Taeyoung's clothes hang messily on my body, my shoulder almost peeking on one-side.

To say it bluntly, it looks like I had sex all night.

I comb out my hair with a brush I find and clean up under my eyes. Poor Junwoo looked terrified of me. It was kinda cute.

When I return Taeyoung's eyes find mine, an unreadable expression on them. He looks at my better state and chuckles. I clear my throat, walking over to where Junwoo is kneeling by the couch.

The boy giggles as he writes on Minjun's passed out face.

"바보 [fool]..." I read out-loud before chuckling. Taeyoung gives me a dorky smile. Junwoo then proceeds to draw a moustache and a mole. A giant mole.

"Sohee." My attention veers to the kitchen, where Taeyoung has set up breakfast.

Eggs, but no toast. Instead, there is rice and some side dishes. Man, I still can't get used to Asian breakfast. At least he made me fried eggs though, I haven't had any in a while.

I gobble up the food, barely taking time to inhale. Taeyoung stops after a while to stare at me, eventually laughing at me and telling me to breathe. I smile back, mouth full of rice.

"Ahhh," A loud sigh comes from Minjun. Junwoo immediately gets up, running to where Taeyoung is, resting an arm casually on the counter.

It's quite a sight when the drunk boy's head pops up from the couch, eyes barely noticeable as he looks towards us.

He gets up, tripping on his pile of clothes, then proceeds towards us. He speaks to Junwoo first, asking how he slept in Korean, squeezing his cheeks as the younger boy tries to suppress his laughter, a goofy smile on his face. Then Minjun comes towards Taeyoung, eyes fixating on me. He blinks slowly, processing.

"Sohee-yah!" He finally registers. "Are you drunk still?"

I stifle a laugh before saying no. Taeyoung turns to look at me with a serious gaze. "How does he know you were drunk?"

"I think I called him after I called you," I brush it off as Minjun walks over to me, patting my hair. I stifle another laugh as I stare at the black drawings on his face.

"Think I saw you," Minjun says in broken English. "Go to club by Go Store? Cute drunk."

"Yah," Taeyoung pulls Minjun's hand away. Minjun begins teasing him, and Taeyoung says something that not only shuts Minjun up but changes Junwoo's amused face into a shocked one. Something about "don't" and "mine."

I freeze mid-chew, unsure of exactly what's happening but having a pretty good idea.

"What did you say?"

"I told him not to touch you because you're mine."

The food threatens to drop from my mouth but I close my jaw in time. My heart feels like it's eating itself as I stare at him, a smile growing on my face despite me trying to stop it. I clear my throat and continue eating. The other boys just stare at us awkwardly, but do I catch a hint of a knowing smile on Junwoo's face?

Junwoo speaks up, saying something like "so you did..."

Taeyoung quickly responds with no.

A mischievous smile grows on Minjun's face, "Oh, you have sexy time!" He says 섹시 [sexy] in Korean.

Taeyoung and I both yell out "no," him in Korean and I in English. Junwoo looks uncomfortable again, causing Minjun to make fun of him.

"Yah, Minjun." He looks at me in shock from my surprising bluntness and lack of formal language. I gesture to the bathroom. "Go have a look."

Puzzled, the young man stumbles into the bathroom. It takes a while before he yells out Junwoo's name. Junwoo collapses in laughter, Taeyoung following suit.

. . .

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Love,

Sooaura