"Hey Mitchie," Scott's voice fills the room from behind me.

I turn a bit to acknowledge him. He silently pads over and sits on the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. We just sit like this silence for what feels like forever. Finally, Scott sits back and watches me as I nervously start to chip away at my nails.

"Please, tell me what happened that night," Scott whispers. "Tell me what's going on in your head."

I shake my head and take a deep breath. I honeslty have no idea where to start. I guess I'll start at the beginning.

"Remember, when you first met me in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?" I ask, whispering and still picking at my nails. He nods and I go on. "You said that you thought I was funny and that you were obsessed with me. Well, I lied when I told you that I don't remember what I thought when I first met you; I remember exactly how I felt. I felt the exact same way as I do today; right now."

"I knew that there was no way I could survive this tour without you finding out how I felt. Kirstie gave me some hope though, by convincing me to get my thoughts out into songs-"

"Can't Sleep Love?" Scott cuts in.

I glance up and make eye contact with him for the first time tonight, before focusing my attention back on my nails. By now, the entire white tips have been completely torn off so that my nails are just stubs.

"Everything was going so well and of course... I had to lose control and kiss you."

"Can I ask you a question?" Scott cuts in again. I shrug for him to continue. "Why were you so sure that it would be bad for me to know how you feel?"

I answer in a whisper so quiet that it wouldn't be heard over a breeze.

"Alex."

It's not a full answer, but it's the easiest to explain. Scott has a perfect boyfriend who loves him so much, and they are literally perfect for each other. Scott would also feel really weird if I told him that I've loved him since the second I met him. Things would never be the same between us. Also, I have no idea how the rest of our band would react; I'd probably become a reject.

Scott becomes silent again at the name of his boyfriend and I continue.

"Us not talking proved exactly what I was afraid of-- I don't even matter to one thing most important to me-"

"You matter to me!" Scott leans forward. "You have no idea how much you matter to me."

Of course I don't mean anything to him though. If I meant enough to him, he wouldn't have waited until I was almost dead to become my prince and speak up.

Scott starts going on talking about how much I matter but I can't hear him. All I can think right now is that the red now emerging from behind my nail is too pure for someone like me. Someone who can't even love himself, let alone have others love him.

Scott grabs me by the shoulders and rotates me so that I face him, even thought my head is still down.

"Mitch, listen to me please."

I can't even feel any pain in my fingers, but I continue with them.

"Mitchell Coby Michael Grassi," he says, sternly. "Look at me."

While I'm now very aware of what he's saying to me, I still can't look up. Not because I'm distracted, but because I'm ashamed. Scott is the most perfect person in the world, yet here I am complaining to Scott about how little I matter to him and all of the depressing thoughts I've had.

"Mitch," he says, in one final attempt to get my attentention.

Scott's soft fingertips reach below my chin, lifting it up so I am now sitting face to face with the perfect ocean eyes of Scott Hoying.

He then leans forward, connecting his lips with mine.