"In a world that demands you to obey the wrong rules, being rebellious is right.
"-Jenna Galbut

~~~~
New

"You look beautiful, New," P'Gawin told me, squeezing my arms. I chuckled, admiring my reflection in the mirror.

An hour left before my wedding with Tay Tawan. The past month had flown by. As I took a deep breath, I saw servants bustling around the room, assisting me with dressing and food, making me feel like royalty.

Once I changed into my white wedding suit, my father and Aunt Ann entered to see me. "You look like a human now," Aunt Ann remarked, to which I took as a compliment, knowing her limits.

The past few days had been challenging without Earth... I exhaled deeply, lost in thoughts until P'Gawin interrupted.

"Yes?" I responded.

"Are you okay? Is there anything you need?" P'Gawin inquired.

"I'm fine, P'Win. I just need a moment alone," I replied with a forced smile, hoping it appeared genuine.

P'Gawin nodded and said, "I'll be waiting outside if you need me. You still have thirty minutes before you walk down the aisle." As he made his way to the door, he paused just before it, turned back, and remarked, "New, you've become stronger ever since Earth. You're aware of that, aren't you?"

Walk down the aisle.

I nodded as he walked away with a smile. It was time to walk down the aisle, with my soon-to-be husband waiting in the middle of the hall. Time had passed quickly. Originally scheduled for a month ago, the wedding was postponed thanks to Earth and P'Mook. Following Earth's passing, I isolated myself in my room to avoid facing anyone.

When my father urged me to compose myself for the upcoming marriage to Tay in two days, I lost control. This resulted in chaos, causing me to throw things and inadvertently harm P'Gawin in the process. It was a turbulent period for me. Yet, this tumultuous incident prompted P'Mook to persuade my father to delay the wedding by a month. I feigned mental instability and spent a week in the hospital. In hindsight, it now appears somewhat amusing.

The somber moment of confiding in Tay during the funeral ceremony brought a soothing sense of comfort. His embrace enveloped me in a cocoon of reassurance, momentarily alleviating the pain of loss.

However, the hopeful prospect of reconciliation was swiftly shattered by a distressing incident. On the third day of my hospitalization, Tay's unexpected confrontation with Off Jumpol unraveled before me.

Tensions escalated as Tay, in a fit of fury, stormed into the ward and seized me by the throat, vehemently demanding the return of his mother. The irrationality of his plea left me bewildered, as if I were expected to perform miracles and reunite him with his long-lost loved one.

Fortunately, Phuwin's presence by my side proved providential, as he and Off intervened, prying Tay away and admonishing him for his aggressive behavior.

Gasping for air amidst the chaos, I sought refuge in the solace of their protection.

"I want to kill him! Let me go!" Tay shouted. Off and Phuwin struggled with Tay's anger, transforming him into a beast. I remained unaware of his erratic behavior.

What struck me most was the sense of comfort in the midst of pain when he choked me, rendering me breathless. I made no sound, shed no tears, and became numb to the agony. Was depression creeping in? Only God knew.

Perhaps, as P'Gawin suggested, my strength had grown after encountering Earth. It could be the result of the promises made with Earth, instilling a fear of breaking them. If only I had more time with him. If granted a rebirth, I would choose to be with Earth again. He was different, treating me with kindness.

The misunderstandings I had regarding Mix were completely dispelled when I finally met him in person. Mix confessed that he had harbored feelings for Earth for quite some time, which wasn't surprising given Earth's charming nature. Mix admitted that the intimate moment between them had been a regrettable mistake, as it had led to a rift between them. Earth, upon realizing they had shared a kiss, had vehemently rejected Mix and demanded he leave.

During our meeting, Mix presented me with a box containing a gift from Earth. Inside was a stunning black tuxedo, adorned with a delicate white daisy near the front pocket. I carefully placed this elegant attire in my suitcase, which I had brought along to the venue.

I stopped myself from overthinking and looked around at the unfamiliar faces awaiting my presence. "May I have a moment alone?" I inquired, addressing the group.

"Certainly, sir," one of the individuals replied, gesturing towards the exit. As they began to depart, he added, "Sir, you have fifteen minutes before the wedding commences. Would you like any refreshments?"

I declined the offer with a slight smile and pondered aloud, "Is it necessary for P'Gawin to accompany me down the aisle? Can't I walk alone?"

Although he appeared hesitant, he responded with a warm smile, "You hold the power to alter the traditions, sir."

Amused by his remark, I queried, "May I know your name? You seem familiar."

"Niran, Mr. Tawan's assistant," he disclosed, offered a slight bow.

"Please, dispense with the formality. Just refer to me as New, not sir. It feels odd to be addressed as such," I expressed.

He politely disagreed, stating, "I believe you will grow accustomed to it in due course."

Exhaling softly, I hesitated to accept the change and felt out of place. The door closed behind me, and I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. The white designer suit accentuated my features, but I wasn't fond of the flushed look it gave me, or maybe it was the makeup. I wanted to wash my face and remove the lipstick with a tissue before applying lip balm.

If they wanted me to look pretty, I would do it my way.

I believed I had changed for the better and started prioritizing myself over others. I vowed not to be manipulated anymore and refused to revert to my former timid self. The same determination applied to my relationship with Tay-we would not find happiness together, and I intended for him to experience consequences as well.

I decided to proceed with my own plans and nothing would deter me. I reached for my phone on the table across the room where my belongings were placed. I dialed P'Gawin swiftly. "Hello?" he answered over the phone.

"Phi, could you assist me with a favor?" I inquired.

"Oh my god! I suspected as much! Are you intending to elope, New?" he questioned, his voice shaking.

I chuckled, "No, P'Gawin! That is not my intention. There are matters I must attend to before considering such a step. I'll keep it for the future. Now, listen. I prefer not to have someone walk me down the aisle."

"Should I step in? Is it due to me being your step--"

"No, that's not what I meant. You are my brother, and I care for you deeply. I simply wish to walk alone."

"Oh, thank goodness. But what is your plan?"

I chuckled, "Just a small gesture to honor Earth for... Um, what was it you said earlier? Transforming me?"

"I meant it in a good way, New. That change is for the better. But your plan is already screaming a bad idea," he whispered, cautious of eavesdroppers.

"Don't fret. It's just a hint of trouble. Trouble's been my sidekick. Te even nicknamed me that. But this time, I'm fearless."

"God, I'm loving this new you. It's your grand day. Do as you please, just steer clear of anything that might become a laughing stock," his voice exuded a smile.

I smirked, "Oh, Phi. I can guarantee no laughter. They'll be in awe, trust me."

"Please, tell me you're not considering a naked entrance!"

I chuckled, "Just wait and watch." And with that, he ended the call.

Swiftly, I messaged Inn, 'I'm all set.' with a heart emoji.

∆∆∆

Outside, piano music and string quartets played, creating a soothing atmosphere. Despite the romantic vibe, it didn't feel that way to me. I checked the time on the hall clock - only two minutes until the door opened. P'Gawin stood nearby, looking surprised.

Initially, I had planned to walk alone, but as nerves crept in, I called P'Gawin back. He teased me about my sudden change of heart.

"What the fuck, you're looking smoking hot," P'Gawin exclaimed.

"Don't ogle your own brother like that, Phi," I playfully rolled my eyes.

He chuckled, "Seriously, New, Dad's gonna have a heart attack."

I winked, "What a privilege."

He shook his head, "You've turned so heartless."

"Yeah, being kind-hearted didn't get me anywhere," I said as my smile faded.

"I know, Newwiee. And I'm glad you've changed. I don't care if it's an act or not... I just want you to be happy," he said, giving me a quick hug. The last bit of unease melted away, and I felt even more self-assured.

Why did I always let fear hold me back when I had such incredible people around me? I regret not standing up for myself earlier.

Father should have been the one to walk me down the aisle... But that will never happen.

"Some sketchy folks are hanging around over there," P'Gawin exhaled deeply.

I sighed. "What's life without a bit of dirt?"

"Fantastic," he remarked, and I chuckled. "Ready?"

I nodded as the grand twin white doors swung open, "Absolutely."

All I heard as I strutted down that aisle, clutching a bouquet of flowers, with P'Gawin by my side, was people gasping. I literally heard their breath hitch. Good. That's exactly what I aimed for.

I couldn't resist grinning when I caught sight of my father's face. His jaw clenched, eyes widened. He looked like a clown. Suits him. Aunt Ann wasn't any better. Her hands were covering her gaping mouth.

P'Mook shot me an amused glance before flashing a grin my way. I returned the grin. Inn and Phuwin were smirking. Joss, Arm, and Off were also standing there, eyes wide. Except for Mr. Vihokratana. He appeared calm and composed. When our eyes locked, he gave me a warm smile, making me suddenly feel jittery. My heart rate skyrocketed uncontrollably.

No, damn it. I refuse to have a panic attack here. No chance!

"New," P'Gawin whispered beside me. "Relax, it's fine. People will ease up once the ceremony kicks off."

I took a deep breath. Maybe I shouldn't have gone along with this prank. Damn it. It was all Phuwin and Inn's scheme. When they saw the Tux Earth had given me, they insisted I try it on. On my wedding day, no less. I told them I'd wear it in the evening after-party, and they started griping about how I was killing the vibe. But what swayed me in the end was the thought of how it would rattle Tay Tawan. So I caved.

Wearing black on my wedding day.

As I stood there, facing Tay at the altar, his white designer tux exuding luxury, a lump formed in my throat at the sight of his smug expression. My heart raced as I made my way to him, each second feeling like an eternity. P'Gawin released my hand, passing it to Tay with a nod before stepping back.

Our eyes locked, his captivating brown gaze meeting mine. The priest's words became a blur as we silently tried to understand each other. Guilt gnawed at me as I remembered the promises made to Earth, the plans for an overseas wedding now shattered.

As the priest's voice gained clarity, I realized the gravity of the moment. This marriage, a union I didn't desire, was unfolding before me. It was time to listen attentively to the words that would bind us, whether I liked it or not.

As Tay stood there, looking into my eyes, the priest's words rang out. "Do you, Tay Tawan Vihokratana, take New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun to be your lawfully wedded husband, to hold and cherish in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, vowing to be faithful until death do you part?"

Tay's deep, rough voice cut through the air, "I do."

Then it was my turn. The weight of my father's disapproving gaze bore down on me, my emotions threatening to spill over.

"Do you, New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun, take Tay Tawan Vihokratana to be your lawfully wedded husband, to hold and cherish in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, vowing to be faithful until death do you part?"

I hesitated, feeling the tension in the air, before finally managing to say, "I do," eliciting a collective sigh of relief from the onlookers.

I guess people didn't actually think
we'd go through with this.

As the priest's words filled the air, Tay's hand found my waist, and the other tenderly caressed my face. The moment arrived, and the priest declared, "By the power vested in me from god and the state, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss each other."

Panic surged through me as Tay leaned in for the kiss. "I don't want to do this," I whispered, my heart racing with uncertainty.

Tay's response was unexpected, "I'll do everything you don't want me to do, Trouble," he whispered with a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

Before I could react, his lips met mine in a gentle kiss, sending my heart into a frenzy and my chest tightening with a mix of emotions.

The applause and cheers of the crowd filled the space as Tay continued to hold onto the kiss. Feeling overwhelmed, I gently pushed him away, creating some distance between us.

Amidst the laughter and teasing from the crowd, someone shouted, "Get a room!" causing more laughter to erupt around us.

My cheeks burned with embarrassment as I avoided meeting Tay's eyes. When I finally glanced back, Tay's smirk only widened, teasing, "Will we, after this?" His words elicited more hoots and laughter from the onlookers, leaving me flustered and unsure of what would come next.

Tay had a knack for acting; it was palpable. That jerk! I despised him.

After snapping a series of photos for remembrance, fatigue and perspiration had taken their toll on me. The day couldn't end soon enough. I was counting the minutes until the day would finally come to a close. All I craved was a peaceful rest.

But alas, that seemed like a distant dream now that Tay Tawan was my so-called husband.

That guy. I can't stand him anymore.

∆∆∆

"What the hell were you thinking, pulling that crap in front of everyone?!" Dad bellowed the moment we stepped into the Vihokratana mansion. It was just me, Tay, Father, Phuwin, and Mr. Vihokratana. The others had headed to our place to prep for the evening bash.

Smack! My left cheek stung, numbed by the impact.

I halted Phuwin from advancing. "Don't you dare," I cautioned, and he averted his gaze.

"Pong, maybe we should discuss this later. No need for violence. They're just kids having a laugh. It's fine," Mr. Vihokratana intervened, grasping Father's arms before another blow could land.

"No! He's not just a damn kid! The guests are all talking about it! Do you even realize the spectacle you created?" Dad's eyes bore into me, his anger palpable as his words spat out.

I took a deep breath, "I'm not sorry."

"Yes, that's good to know. But-- What?! What did you say?!" Dad yelled.

"I said I'm not sorry," I repeated, casually. Phuwin snorted beside me, quickly silencing himself when he realized how loud he was.

"How dare you speak to me like that?!" Father lunged again to strike me, and I firmly grasped his wrist before he could land a blow. His hands froze mid-air, taken aback.

"Don't fucking hit me like I'm some child!" I shouted back, my eyes ablaze with anger. I detest this man.

"Don't use that language with me!" He wrenched his hands from my grip and struck me once more. This time, the sting was sharper than before.

"Pong, you should stop. He has learned his lessons. That's enough. Let's go get a drink," Mr. Vihokratana intervened, trying to defuse the situation.

But father resisted, refusing to give up. "I need answers! Whose idea was it?!"

"I am unable to respond to your inquiries," I stated firmly. His tight grip on my arms made any attempt to break free futile.

A plaintive whimper escaped my trembling lips as his grasp tightened, sending a sharp pain through my bones. "How much longer will you persist before relenting?!" he demanded, though I knew it wasn't a question. It was a demand, a command that left me no choice but to comply.

"Don't push my limits, New! You better shape up this evening or else I can't guarantee what I'll do!" With a final shove, he forcefully let go of me. In my disheveled state, I struggled to stand upright, my knees threatening to give way.

As I glanced to the side, I caught sight of Tay. His eyes were fiery and furious, the same rage I had witnessed at the hospital, like he was ready to explode. Veins bulged on his neck, fists clenched, jaw locked tight. My heart raced.

But his anger wasn't aimed at me.

Instead, his gaze was fixed on my father, who had walked off with his own father.

He flexed and relaxed his fists, then locked eyes with me. He widened his gaze slightly before regaining composure. Purposefully, he strode over to where Phuwin and I stood.

"Wipe your fucking tears," he demanded, his gaze fixed on me. But I wasn't shedding any. I turned to Phuwin, only to find tears streaming down his face. Oh no.

"Phu, it's alright. I'm okay. That hit wasn't even that hard... I've faced worse." I chuckled, hoping my voice wouldn't betray me, but it only seemed to worsen things.

Phuwin dropped to his knees, sobbing, repeating, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's all my fault."

I knelt beside him, embracing him tightly. "I'm really okay, Phu. I promise. It didn't hurt."

"It's all my fault," he sobbed.

"No, it's not! Look at me," I gently turned his face to meet mine. He looked so fragile and shattered when our eyes met. Oh god...

"I should've owned up. He wouldn't have hit you like that," Phuwin choked out between sobs, tears flowing uncontrollably.

"We couldn't predict he'd take such offense. But hey, as you always say, life's dull without a bit of mischief, right?" I chuckled and gently wiped away his tears. He managed a small smile. "I'm sorry, P'New. I won't repeat this mistake."

I shook my head, "You will do it again. Now that I'm in the mood for some fun, I need you by my side." I playfully booped his nose, which led to a sudden bout of coughing.

"Have some water," Tay handed him a glass. Surprisingly, he stood there, observing our interaction.

"Um, thanks," Phuwin said before downing the water in two big gulps. "And congrats," he added, smiling at me.

"Uh, congrats for what?" I asked, feeling a bit puzzled.

Tay let out a scoff and rolled his eyes, while Phuwin chuckled. "For what? Seriously? Something went down two hours ago..."

Oh, right. My wedding. That. "Oh, yeah, thanks," I replied, glancing at Tay. Memories of the kiss we shared two hours ago flashed through my mind. I shook my head, trying to shake off the strange thoughts and the slight tightness in my chest.

"We should hit the shower," Tay suddenly suggested, his face turning red.

"What?" I stood up abruptly. "I'm not showering with you! Just because we're married doesn't mean I--"

"Damn it! What are you on about? New, I-- Why would I even suggest showering together? I meant separately. Come on!" Tay ran his hands over his face, looking utterly exasperated.

"What's the big deal about showering with me?! Why the face?" I exclaimed, feeling a surge of unexpected anger.

"What? You wanna shower with me?" Tay raised an eyebrow.

"Ew, no way! I don't want to!" I retorted firmly.

"Then why the heck are you so worked up?" Tay's expression showed confusion.

"I... I didn't mean to..." I trailed off, realizing the absurdity of my implications.

"Do you even hear yourselves? You guys are so rude! I can't stand couples! I can't stand gay husbands! You guys are being ridiculous. Whether you shower together or separately, just be mindful of your surroundings when discussing private matters. You nearly gave me a heart attack. Congratulations on your marriage!" Phuwin shouted before running upstairs, with a maid guiding him to the room.

"I'm not gay!" Tay shouted after Phuwin.

"And we're not a couple!" I shouted back.

But Phuwin was already out of earshot, probably not hearing our responses.

"You're so immature, Tawan!" I glared at him.

"Speak for yourself!" He retorted, taking a step towards me. Instinctively, I took a step back.

"What are you up to?" I whispered, as he showed no signs of backing down. I froze as my back met the cold wall. Tay placed his hands on either side of my head. "Does it hurt?" He whispered.

"What?" I tried to speak, but it came out as a whisper again. Are we having a whispering contest? Maybe the walls were amplifying our voices. Whispering just felt appropriate.

"Nothing. Just... do you still want to shower together, Trouble?" He smirked.

My face flushed, and I attempted to push him away, escaping from his grasp. "Dream on, creep!" I yelled and hurried away from him.

When I reached the room, P'Som was waiting there for me, a smile on her face as she saw me. "Why the smile, Thitipoom?" She inquired.

I paused in my actions. Darn it, was I smiling because of Tay? I cleared my throat and smiled at her. "Um, nothing."

"Your change of clothes is on the bed. The maids will assist you with your makeup and hair. Go ahead and take a shower," P'Som stated, patting my shoulder.

"Do I really need to wear makeup?" I cringed at my own question. The idea of makeup was completely foreign to me, and it felt strange.

"It's just light makeup, you won't even feel it. Alright?" She reassured me.

I simply nodded, "Okay," and made my way towards the spacious bathroom. However, I suddenly halted in my tracks. This was the same room I had stayed in during the pre-wedding party. That means...

I pushed the door open, luckily Tay wasn't inside. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"He'll be using the guestroom for his shower, Thitipoom. The bathroom is all yours for tonight," P'Som informed me before walking away.

I entered the bathroom and removed my pants and sweatshirt. My black tux was neatly packed in my suitcase, changed right after the wedding ceremony concluded.

A chuckle escaped me as I recalled everyone's expressions. When I glanced at the large mirror before me, I observed my slightly slimmer figure.

The chain around my neck gleamed as the bathroom light reflected off it. "Earth," I whispered into the quiet of the room. "... I got married today. I don't know if I can give Te a chance, which I probably never will. He hurts me like Dad, then has the audacity to ask if it hurts. What should I do about him?" I questioned the empty space. Silence was my only response.

A tear trickled down my cheek. "Mom... Even Earth has left me. Now I have to depart from our home and live with Te," I sniffled. "I don't want to leave P'Mook, P'Gawin, and Phuwin. They're all I have. Mom, if only you were here..." I wiped away the tears and took a long shower.

The bubble bath they had set up for me was incredibly relaxing. The party was scheduled to begin at ten, so I had plenty of time before I needed to start getting ready. Perhaps I could sneak in a quick nap.

After stepping out of the shower and wrapping myself in a bathrobe, I informed P'Som about my nap plan and asked her to wake me up at eight. Two hours would be more than sufficient for me to prepare.

I crashed onto the bed and was out like a light in no time. When I finally stirred, a voice whispered, "You can't have us both, Newwiee. You must choose him."

I jolted awake, gasping for air. It was already half past seven. My mother's voice had sent chills down my spine. I would swear on everything sacred that the voice I heard belonged to my mom.

Why did the stars need you more than I did, Mum?

I was just a kid.