Chapter 25

Shaw

       I stared at the drink in front of me while I was sitting at the counter in the nightclub. If I went through with this, I knew my life was just going to tumble down even more than it already was. I didn't see anything going right any time soon, so I didn't see the downside of drinking right now.

       I brought the drink closer to me, but still didn't pick up the class to drink.

       Someone walked up to me and leaned against the counter. "You do know staring at the drink isn't how you drink, right?" Dad asked.

       I looked at him before looking back at the drink. "I hadn't had a drink in over a year," I said.

       "Why not?" Dad asked. "And why start now?"

       I hesitated, not sure if I should tell him. I still wasn't going to forgive him, but I just needed someone to talk to right now. "I was an addict," I said. "Mainly with alcohol, but I did take some drugs too. I've been on the wagon for over a year now."

       "And you're actually going to start drinking again?" Dad asked. "Don't be stupid."

       "I can do what I want," I said. "If I want to start drinking again, you of all people won't be able to stop me."

       "You're right, I won't," Dad said. "It's all up to you if you start drinking again. But why are you?"

       "Because I should have been married right now," I said. 

       "Ah, right, Viola told me you were getting married," Dad said. "Wait. Should have been? Why aren't you?"

       "Holden called off the wedding," I said. "He texted me while I was at the wedding and said he wasn't coming and it was over."

       "Oh, Shaw, I'm sorry," Dad said.

       I didn't reply. I just stared at the drink, wanting to get in rid of the heartbreak I was feeling. Holden was the one person I actually saw a future with. He was the one person who made me feel like I wouldn't go back to my past ways.

       And now he was gone.

       "If you were smart, you wouldn't touch a drop of that drink in front of you," Dad said. "I can take away the drink, but I think you're smart to make your own decisions. Don't let your feelings cloud your judgement."

       He patted my shoulder before walking off and I went back to staring at my drink. I did that for a few more minutes before picking up the glass.

       And drinking the liquid inside.

       All of it.

       I placed the glass back on the counter before getting off of the stool and leaving the nightclub. I walked down the flight of stairs that led to the main ground of the village, almost bumping into Lawrence and Tara.

       "What were you doing in the nightclub?" Lawrence asked me.

       "What's it to you?" I asked, trying to walk past them but Lawrence grabbed my arm.

       "Have you been drinking again?" Lawrence asked.

       I yanked my arm out of his grasp. "No, of course not. How could you think that?"

       "Well, sorry for being worried about you," Lawrence said. "You shouldn't be on your own."

       "Why?" I asked. "Because I can't take care of myself due to a little heartbreak? I'll be fine."

       "Will you actually?" Lawrence asked.

       "What do you think? Holden meant the world to me and he just called off the wedding for no reason, and I haven't heard from him since," I said. "So, no, I'm not okay but I'll be fine. After all, I'm used to people leaving me."

       I was about to walk away again, but Lawrence stopped me by saying, "I think I know why Holden did what he did."

       I turned around to face him. "Why?"

       "Lawrence, don't," Tara said.

       "Don't?" Lawrence asked. "Holden and Shaw were going to get married. Shaw has every right to know what happened."

       "What happened?" I asked.

       "Tara told Holden about your past," Lawrence said. "The part Holden didn't know. Your domestic violence and how you used to hurt Kendra."

       I looked at Tara. "You did what?! Do you have any idea what you've done?!"

       "I was protecting my son!" Tara said. "Sorry for not wanting him to be with someone with a violent past!"

       "That isn't me anymore!" I said. "I've worked really hard to get over that, and I would never hurt Holden! He's the love of my life and because of you, he's gone. I... I don't have him anymore. I don't have the one person that made sure I stayed clean and sober. So thank you for ruining everything. I'm sure that's all you wanted."

       "Shaw..." Tara began, but I ignored her and walked away, heading to my house.

       When I got inside, I closed the door around me and took off my shoes before walking around the house, trying to find something to do to take my mind off of Holden. But no matter what I did, nothing was working. All I was thinking about was Holden.

       I could soon feel tears forming around my eyes and even though I wiped them away, they wouldn't stop because everything was hitting me. I didn't have Holden anymore. I didn't have the one person who made me happy.

       I sat down, trying my hardest to contain the tears but it wasn't working.

       Maybe all of this could have been prevented if I told Holden everything that happened to me in the past. Maybe he wouldn't have felt like he couldn't marry me.

       I could have assured him that I would never hurt him, no matter how angry I felt. I would never want to hurt him.

       All I wanted to do was talk to him, but he wasn't answering his phone. I was probably never going to see him again.

       And I didn't know what to do about it.

       My cell phone rang and I hoped it was Holden, but it wasn't. I should have known it wouldn't have been him.

       It was Kendra and I didn't know if I should answer. I didn't want to talk to anyone, but I had to answer the phone. "Hello?"

       "Shaw, Mercy's missing," Kendra said.

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:o

I'M STILL SPAMMING WOO. and we're getting a character coming soon oof.

here's another ease-your-mind gif:

he's so precious omg my baby. <3 (i still need to make that trip to hollyoaks to free him from prison)