Chapter 32

Holden

       Like Shaw promised, he was right there with me when I woke up from the surgery. And even though he gave me a smile as soon as I looked at him, I couldn't help but notice the saddened look on his face. "Are you okay?" I asked.

       Shaw furrowed his eyebrows. "You just woke up from surgery, and you're asking how I am?"

       "Well, you look upset," I said. "And it's obvious how I'm doing. Weak and a little tired. So you?"

       "Apart from the fact that everyone has turned their backs on me, I'm great," Shaw said, making me utterly confused. He noticed the confused look on my face, so he continued. "When you were in surgery, Viola texted me saying there was some sort of emergency. And I thought soemthing happened to her, so I rushed over."

       "Was she okay?" I asked.

       "Yeah," Shaw said. "It was just to get me to her house where your parents, my dad, Viola, and Kendra were to stage some kind of intervention. And it was like they completely turned their backs on me. They're expecting me to just suddenly stop drinking but it doesn't work like that. And to make things worse, Kendra won't let me see the kids until I'm sober again."

       "What?" I asked. "That's not fair. It's not like you'll be drunk or drinking around them. A lot of adults drink when they have kids."

       "Yeah, I know," Shaw said. "She just thinks I'll be violent and unpredictable. And part of me knows she's right."

        "But it's still not fair of her to not let you see them at all," I said. "Maybe once in a while or when she knows you're not drinking, but not at all? That can't be fair. Or allowed. You have joint custody."

       "She can get full custody if she wants," Shaw said. "That's how messed up my life is. The judge will see that I'm unfit to be a father and that's a lot worse than Kendra deciding I shouldn't see them."

       "Shaw, you're not an unfit father," I said. "You're an amazing father and you'll do anything for your kids. You would never hurt them."

       "You're the only one that thinks that," Shaw said as he looked down. "Everyone else just assumes I'm going to self-destruct soon. They don't understand that I've worked hard to be who I am now. All they see is my past."

       "I'm really sorry, Shaw," I said. "I wish there was something I could do."

       "You're already doing enough," Shaw said. "Believing in me when no one else does. Seeing me for who I am now and not who I was a few years ago."

       "Well, part of that is because I was in boarding school then, so I didn't witness it firsthand," I said.

       Shaw actually cracked a smile as he chuckled. "Well, either way, thank you for not giving up on me."

       "I'll never give up on you," I said. "I love you too much, and we did get married for a reason."

       "I love you too," Shaw said, still with a thin smile on his face.

       There was a sudden knock on the hospital door, so I looked over to see Jane standing there. "I'm not interrupting something, am I?" she asked.

       "No, you're not," Shaw said before gesturing for her to come in.

       Jane walked over and sat on the chair on the other side of the hospital bed. "How did the surgery go?" she asked.

       "Horribly wrong," I said. "Yeah, they made one small mistake and it ended up killing me. This is my ghost you're talking to."

       "Can you ever take anything seriously?" Jane asked.

       "Well, I technically can, but joking through life is a lot more fun," I said. "I assume it went well. The doctor did talk to me about the recovery process, but I honestly wasn't paying attention."

       "Seriously?" Shaw asked, followed by a sigh. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go talk to your doctor now so you don't do something you're not supposed to."

       "I still love you."

       Shaw rolled his eyes and kissed my cheek. "I love you too." He then left the hospital room to go talk to my doctor.

       "So, what's it like being married?" Jane asked. "I still can't believe you're married. It's not fair because now I feel lonely."

       "Hey, that's all on you," I said. "You're the one who dumped me."

       "Yes, because I knew you were gay before you did," Jane said. "It was better to dump you than to wait to be dumped once you finally realized you weren't attracted to girls. Can I... Can I tell you something serious? That I haven't told anyone else yet?"

       "Is it that you actually dumped me because you're not attracted to guys?" I asked. "And me being gay was a cover?"

       "What? No," Jane said. "It's... It's about Roman."

       Hearing that name made my blood boil just like every other time. "What did he do?" I asked. "Did he hurt you?"

       "No," Jane said. "I mean, not really. He has just been hitting on me a lot, no matter how many times I've turned him down. And the most recent time I've turned him down, he called me a slut and a tease because according to him, I've been 'leading him on'."

        My blood now got to the point where I was certain it actually turned into lava. I knew I told Shaw not to do anything to Roman, but I might just have to be a hypocrite and do something myself because he just crossed the line.

       Even though he crossed the line a while ago. He wanted to use me to get to Shaw? Fine. I could deal with that. But bringing an eight year old and now my best friend into it?

       Roman was starting to play a dangerous game, and he wasn't going to like the finish.

       "Remind me to buy a baseball bat and use that on him," I said. "Repeatedly."

       "Holden, I don't want you to do anything that will get you in trouble," Jane said. "Or hurt you."

       "I don't care if I get in trouble," I said. "I'm not going to get away with Roman calling you a slut and a tease."

       "He did what?" Shaw suddenly asked, and I looked over to see him standing by the door. "Are you serious?"

        "Shaw..." I said, knowing he was starting to get angry.

        "No, don't tell me to leave it alone," Shaw said. "Roman is getting away with everything. Threatening me, kidnapping you and Mercy, and now degrading women? I'm not letting him get away with this. I warned Roman what was going to happen, and he isn't going to know what hit him."

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oof we might be seeing a bit of old shaw coming back.

my baaaaaad.

lol so i told myself not to update today since i had a headache and i was tired and my room was stuffy. but then i started writing anyway because why not?

i missed jane, so let's insert a gif of my favourite pair of besties that aren't a couple: (because let's face it, jerlan is the best pair of besties)

^^hint for upcoming drama in this book (ps they be in a police station)