Chapter 31

Shaw

       Holden was able to be scheduled for surgery literally the next day after he went to the hospital for a check-up. He was a bit nervous for it even though there wasn't any risks, but that didn't stop him.

       I made sure to take some time off of work so I could go to the hospital with Holden and wait there while he was in surgery because it wouldn't take too long. It also made him feel more comfortable knowing that I was going to be there as soon as he woke up.

       Holden was undergoing surgery right now and I was in the waiting room when my cell phone buzzed with a message. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the text, seeing that it was from Viola.

       She told me there was an emergency at her house and even though I was still mad at her, I couldn't completely leave her to figure whatever it was on her own. I just had to make sure I was back before Holden woke up.

       I left the hospital and headed to Viola's house. I knocked on the door and she shortly answered it, so I walked into the house. "What's the emergency?" I asked.

       Her reply confused me entirely. "You are," she said, as she closed and locked the door.

       I was going to ask her what I meant, but then I noticed that we weren't the only ones in her house. Here along with us was Lawrence, Tara, Kendra, and even Dad.

       "What's going on?" I asked.

       Nobody said anything for a while. They all looked at each other as if they were silently communicating, trying to figure out who were to speak first.

       In the end, it was Kendra who finally spoke up. "Is it true that you're drinking again?" she asked.

       "Don't tell me this is some sort of intervention," I said.

       "You didn't answer the question," Kendra said, her voice lathered in disappointment because she already knew what the answer. And out of everyone, Kendra and Holden were the only people I didn't want knowing about it.

       And they both knew about it now. At least Holden was somewhat accepting of it and promised he would help me through it. I didn't know how Kendra was going to react to it.

       "He doesn't need to answer the question," Lawrence said. "We already know the answer."

       "You're right, we do," Viola said. "I would still like to hear my brother admit to it when he promised he would never touch a single drop of alcohol again."

       "You know what? I don't have time for this," I said, attempting to leave but Viola stepped in the way, making sure I couldn't unlock the door. "Move, Viola."

       "No," Viola said. "We're doing this for you, Shaw. You caused so many problems when you were an alcoholic. You got into a lot of trouble and we can't let that happen again. And the first step is to admitting you have a problem, so we want to hear you say it."

       "Seriously, I don't have time for this!" I said. "I came here because you said there was an emergency!"

       "This is an emergency," Viola said. "Because the more we don't address this, the more you'll be drinking and the more damage you'll bring."

       "Okay, fine, yes, I am drinking again," I said. "There? Is that what you wanted me to hear? Can I leave now?"

       "Not until we talk about this," Viola said.

       "When I saw you in the bar, you actually took the drink that was in front of you, didn't you?" Dad asked. "That's what started you drinking again."

       "Wait, you saw him with alcohol and you didn't stop him?" Tara asked.

       "I shouldn't have had to," Dad said. "He's twenty-five and he should have known better than to actually take the drink. I guess I should have stopped him because clearly, he can't think for himself."

       "Can we please just do this another time?" I asked. "I have somewhere I have to be."

       "Somewhere more important than here getting help?" Viola asked.

       "Uh, yeah," I said.

       "Of course he wouldn't want to try getting help," Lawrence said. "He's probably going to go out for a drink as soon as he leaves the house."

       I was going to fire back at him, but I didn't because Kendra spoke up. "Shaw, I hope you know exactly what you're throwing away by drinking again," she said.

       I furrowed my eyebrows. "What does that mean?"

       "Before you stopped drinking, you were a complete mess," Kendra said. "You were violent and unpredictable, even when you weren't drunk. And that's why, until you're sober again, I don't want you to spend time with the kids."

       Never in a million years would I ever think Kendra would turn her back on me. Even when I was going through my dark time in the past, she didn't abandon me. I was the one who chose not to be in the kids' lives because I was in too deep to be a good father. And she didn't blame me for not being there. 

       And now, she was taking away something that was only going to make things worse.

       "Kendra, please tell me you're joking," I said. "You can't not let me see them. They're my kids."

       "I know," Kendra said. "And I know you love them, but I just can't risk anything. I don't want you around them when you're drinking again."

       "I'm trying to stop, believe me," I said. "I can't just quit cold turkey. It will take some time, but I promise you I'm not going to do anything like I did before."

       "I'm sorry, but I can't take the chance," Kendra said. 

       "She's right," Tara said. "If you keep drinking, you're only going to get more and more unpredictable. It won't be safe for you to be around them."

       "I would never hurt them!" I said. "I would never hurt anyone I love!"

       "You and I both know you will when you're under the influence," Kendra said, her voice going a lot more quiet than usual, and just hearing that absolutely broke my heart.

       "That was in my past," I said. 

       "It was in your past because of alcohol," Viola pointed out. "And you're on it again. Who's to say it won't happen again? And you want to know the worst part? It's like you're actually not wanting to get off of drinking. We want to help you and you keep wanting to leave, saying you have something better to do."

       "That's because I do!" I said.

       "Really?" Viola asked. "What could possibly be more important?"

       "Gee, I don't know, maybe my husband being in surgery right now and me promising that I would be there when he wakes up," I said. "I came straight from the hospital thinking something was wrong with you and you really needed my help. So thank you, for wasting my time when I promised Holden I would be there when he wakes up."

       "Wait, what?" Lawrence asked. "Holden's in surgery? For what? Is he okay?"

       "Well, you would know if you picked up your phone yesterday," I said. "I tried calling you more than once but you never picked up. Guess you were too worried about the fact that I started drinking again to care about anything I say. And yes, he'll be okay. He just has some bleeding outside of his brain and they have to drain it."

       "You could have left a message," Lawrence said. 

       "Now why would I do that when you didn't bother to pick up the phone all the times I called?" I asked before looking at Viola. "Now seriously, I need to leave so save this stupid intervention for another time."

       Viola hesitated before unlocking the door and letting me leave the house. I couldn't believe they all thought cornering me like that would help me because if anything, it just made me feel worse.

       In fact, I probably would have went to Fusion right now if it weren't for the fact that I promised Holden I would be there for him. I would never break a promise for him because right now, he was probably going to be the only person that found a proper way to help me through this.

________________

smh everyone breaking shaw's heart like that. smh

i'm so angery right now. i took my keys off of my keyboard to clean underneath but the space bar isn't clipping back on properly so it's very loose and sometimes doesn't even work when i press it. my dad even tried fixing it and he could usually fix anything, so i'm angery.

i'll insert a gif to make me feel better:

there are certain sholden gifs i have that actually seem like they're husbands and this is one of them. and now i miss ste and harry :( (reason #1 why i created sholden: just in case my starry heart broke)(and it did)(sholden fills the gap that was once starry)