Charlie: "If God's ever been mad at anything I've ever said, he hasn't done shit about it."

Charlie: "So he either doesn't care or he's a coward."

____

Lovesick: "Hi, who's this? Victor changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures."

Charlie: "What's mine?"

Lovesick: "Dwarf."

Charlie: "THEY'RE SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!"

Lovesick: "Oh, hey Charlie."

Charlie: "FUCK!"

____

Lovesick: "Are you alright?"

Victor: "Short answer or long answer?"

Lovesick: "Short?"

Victor: "No."

Lovesick: "Long?"

Victor: "Nooooooo."

(Lovesick: I've told you stop working so damn hard already)

____

Charlie: "What is the most illegal thing you can do with one gold?"

G!Luv: "Exchange it for a hundred copper, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it."

____

Charlie: "So, I've been thinking G!Luv- "

G!Luv: "That's dangerous."

____

Lovesick: "How petty can you get?"

Charlie: "I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about."

____

Charlie, smugly, after security arrives to escort Victor and G!Luv out: "So, do you wanna walk out of here or do you wanna be carried out?"

Victor, in defeat: "Let's go."

G!Luv: "Wait."

Victor: "What?"

G!Luv: "I'd kinda like to be carried out..."

____

Charlie: "I desire moisture."

Lovesick: "Please just say "I want water" like a normal person."

____

G!Luv: "That's a nice argument, Charlie Why don't you back it up with a source?"

Charlie: "My source is that I made it the fuck up!"

____

Victor, laying in bed burnout-ing: "Get out of my room."

Lovesick, standing just outside of the door frame: "I'm not in your room."

____

Lovesick: "Define "dream"."

Victor: "Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works."

G!Luv: "That's too dark."

____

Charlie: "Can I bother you for a second?"

Victor: "You're always bothering me, but go ahead."

____

Lovesick: "You got a date yet Victor?"

Victor: "No..."

Lovesick: "Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!"

____

Charlie: "I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly."

____

Victor: "No one will like me because of my workhorse personality."

His dead parents, Charlie & Lovesick: "AHEM!!"

____

Victor: "Sweet dog you got there."

Police: "Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog."

Victor: "Still training huh?"

Police: "What do you mean?"

Victor: "..."

Victor: "Never mind."

____

G!Luv: "Go fuck yourself."

Charlie: "Come over here and fuck me yourself you coward!"

____

G!Luv: "Pros and cons of dating me."

G!Luv: "Pros. You'll be the cute one."

G!Luv: "Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-"

____

G!Luv: "Murder literally doesn't hurt anyone!"

Victor: "What are you talking about? Of course— "

Lovesick, holding out a hand to shut Victor up: "No, no, he has a point—"

____

Charlie: "Wow, did you hear that voice crack?"

Victor: "That wasn't a voice crack, that was a whole voice meth."