"Please universe, just let this work once."

This will be the fourteenth try at making a pain medication. It's probably illegal, but I know what I'm doing when it comes to medicine.

The machine stopped whirring, though the sound continued to buzz in my head, and exclaimed a high pitched ding. I took the small medicine bottle out of the machine which had been filled with cyan colored pills, and wrote in bold, navy blue, "#14". I set it on the desk next to me, turning back to the machine.

Taking a swab,  I dipped it into the powder that started out, carefully coating every side of it. I then dipped it into a purple decontamination liquid next to the miniature medicine manufacturer. After letting the two substances combine and having the excess liquid slide off like molasses, I held my left hand beneath the swab and carefully walked to an oak-wood door. Swiftly, I grasped the brass doorknob and swung it open, revealing a long, cement staircase that was lit by white, black speckled, glowing crystals. They had already been here when construction started on this basement of mine.

As I walked down the stairs, the mixture dropped into my hand with seemingly every step. A small shiver ran up my spine as my bare feet were laid onto the cold, gray concrete. My nostrils once again filled with a musty, wooden smell, with a hint of warm metal. Quickly looking back up the staircase, I checked for any shadows that showed someone standing at the top. There was no one. Turning my head away once again, I let myself relax once I noticed the brilliant cyan energy that radiated from the machine. As I walked past it and towards a screen on the other side of the room, a computer voice greeted me,

"Hello, Dr. Memegod, Livimore."

I looked at the screen in the wall, which held my virtual assistant, Olivia. I might as well been a little green plankton who lived in a bucket at the bottom of the sea. On each side of me were inventions that no one but Laff and Dino should know of. Shaking the dust off of my feet, I unnervingly reminded the intelligence for the fourteenth time today,

"Remember, just call me Meme."

"Understood. I observe that you would like the affects on the human body for that medication once again, Dr. Livimore?"

I rolled my eyes, but desperate to keep the swab from dripping on my hand anymore, I sighed,

"Yes."

Below the right side of the screen, a selected square of the floor seemlessly sneaked back into the wall, letting a tester shoot up from beneath the panel and take its place. I approached the stand, and looked at the screen for the go-ahead.

"You may proceed, Dr. Livimore."

"I still don't know why you call me a doctor-"

"You claimed it was to hide the fact that you don't have a degree,"

The A.I. paused, but then continued,

"and to boost your ego, which you don't need more of."

I sighed, getting annoyed with Olivia. I inserted the swab into a hole in the machine, which it then dragged into itself to analyze. About a minute went by until the screen spoke again.

"Analysis concluded. Would you like to know the results?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Ibuprofen, test fourteen. Active ingredients include: Ibuprofen and Unidentified Substance."

"Continue,"

"Side affects include: Abnormal renal function, anemia, dizziness, elevated liver enzymes, fluid retention, gastrointestinal experiences including but not limited to abdominal pain, epigastric pain, heartburn, nausea and vomiting, headaches, increased bleeding time, indigestion, nervousness, rashes, scratchy skin, and tinnitus."

I ran through the knowledge in my head, and came to the conclusion that:

"I guess it's not too bad, huh?"

Olivia replied,

"No, it is not bad. You have made a rip-off of the medication Motrin. This other substance you threw in the mix has no affect on the human body, nor has any docu-"

"Oh, would you quit it, Olivia?"

Refusing to look at the screen, I yanked the swab away from the machine. I walked to the staircase once again, throwing the swab in a trash can. Annoyed, I walked up the steps, slamming the door shut.

Circling back to the blue bottle of pills I had created just moments before, I felt proud that I was able to accomplish such a thing. After two days worth of experimenting, I hung up my lab coat to give it and myself a break. Walking out of the double glass doors to the med-bay, I breathed in a serene gulp of September air. On this high desert dune, it still felt like summer because of the sun, but the breeze made it feel ten degrees colder. Even in a desert-forest barring biome, we somehow have winter. It's amazing how nature works. To enjoy the weather, I pulled up a chair from inside, sat down, and let the warm rays of sun lead me to my dreams.

______________________________________

-Socks POV-

Getting beaten up by a headache is one thing, but when you're getting beaten up by fire, endermen, and blazes, not to mention holding an axe in your hand for about two hours straight, it sucks. Me and Tbh were sitting down in my house, which was just outside the group-base territory. It was the only real place that was close enough to the nether portal to rest. Swallowing a swig of water and placing the bottle on the end table beside me, I started,

"Hey, Tbh."

"What?"

"Do you want to see if some pills would help?"

Tbh, obviously trying to lighten up and joke around, asked,

"What pills?"

"I don't know, maybe the stuff that those endermen were on, man. I've never seen an enderman bite someone before."

Tbh laughed, agreeing with me by warning,

"Yeah, I dunno'. Make sure that doesn't get infected though. That looked pretty deep last time I saw it."

Still joking around, I put my hands up to the air next to my face and bent my fingers like claws. I wiggled them around, badly imitating a monster that would be in a kid's movie.

"Oooooooh, I'm so infected! Going to become a monster like the enderman and kill youuuu.."

Tbh snickered at the stupid joke, rolling his eyes. He looked back at me, and got back on track.

"Yeah, I'll take Advil or something."

"I think I have some."

I stood up and walked into the bathroom, opening the mirror like some secret cellar. Apparently, I did not have Advil. Closing the mirror and walking back to the living room, I broke the news,

"Soo.. I'm going to see if Meme has any pain pills. Wanna' come?"

Tbh thought, but decided,

"Nah, I think I'll stay here.."

"Alright. How's the shin doing?"

"Could be better, still feels like it's on fire."

"Okay, his med-bay's in walking distance so I'll be like, fifteen?"

"Cool, see you when you're back."

———————————

"Why must his medbay be so far away."

Walking to Meme's medbay was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. My legs didn't want to move anymore, but I still forced them to. It felt like I was walking through quicksand with how slow I was going up this hill.

My head was still pounding, and my forearm still felt the same, maybe even a bit better since the pain was now in my legs. I took a break and leaned against the sandstone wall that followed the spiraling bridge up the sand dune. Looking at my forearm, I saw that the enderman bite was fizzing a black and indigo substance, which glowed an eerie purple.

Well I hope that takes care of itself somehow.

I finally sucked up some oxygen, and maybe some sand too. Walking again, my throat felt scratched as I choked on my own air, making me cough out grains of sand.

Once I got to the top of the hill, I found Meme laying on a lawn chair, flat on his back. I shouted,

"Yo, Meme, do you have any Advil?"

I got no answer or any kind of reaction. I asked again,

"Meme, just answer me."

Once again, he didn't respond. Feeling my head start to pound again, I speedwalked over to the Cookie Monster scientist and raised my voice,

"Hello? Are you awake?!"

I immediately lessened up, seeing that he in fact was asleep. Meme's drowsy eyes widened slightly, startled to see me right in front of him. He quietly asked,

"What the- why are you here?"

I could hear the sleepiness in Meme's voice.

"Sorry man, I didn't realize you were asleep."

Meme groaned out of annoyance, and growled,

"What do you want?"

"I came to see if you had any Advil or something for me and Tbh."

"Yeah, it should be in there."

"Cool. Sorry 'bout waking you up.."

"Sure, whatever.."

Snickering at his reaction, I walked into the medbay making sure to shake any sand off my socks before stepping in. Scanning the room, my eyes locked on a container that was labeled "Ibuprofen (Pain Medication)". I whispered to myself,

"Bingo."

I quickly swiped the bottle off the table, and looking at it, I saw that the number "#14" was written on it. Confused, I walked back out of the medbay to Meme. I asked,

"Is this it?"

Art by: SquishyDottedWhale

"What is it?"

"The pills you said you had. Are these the right ones? Found 'em on the table."

Meme glared at me like I was the stupidest person on planet earth, and he sighed, closing his eyes again.

"What does say?"

"Ibuprofen pain medication, and then it has a 14 next to it."

"Yeah, that's it."

"Okay! I'll give it back later. Thanks M.G."

I didn't get a response back, and I didn't expect one. Now I needed to walk all the way back down the flight of stairs that I'd just come up. I tried running down the stairs at first, but I nearly tripped on my own feet instead. Walking down the rest of the stairs, I jogged past the nether portal and back to my house.

Closing the door as fast as I had opened it, I rolled over the back of the couch that and slammed onto the body of it like I were fourteen. I laid there for a few seconds before sitting up, staring into Tbh's green irises, which had been following me ever since I made my enterance. Holding back laughter, he greeted,

"Welcome back, I guess."

I was out of breath, but dramatically breathed out,

"I got the drugs."

Saying that, I popped open the container and took out two tablets. I handed the container to Tbh, grabbing my water bottle and taking the Ibuprofen. I looked back at Tbh, who looked a bit apprehensive. He was reading the labels, and asked me,

"Are you sure these are the right pills?"

"I mean, Meme said they were. Either way, I already took two."

"I don't know if I'll have them."

"Okay, your choice."

Throughout the day, my headache and the pain in my arm went away. Of course I felt better before Tbh, who left around eight'o'clock. After that though, it felt like a ghost just passed through me.
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1881 words for the rewrite :)
don't ask why I did this, I just felt like it.