Warning: Slight mention of cutting, slight mention of dying

Alexander's Perspective

"How is she doing? Is she alright? Do I need to punch the doctor-"

"James, calm down. It's just a doctor's visit."

My older brother, James (he's in college, but he's home for his Winter Break), and I were visiting my mother in the hospital. Well, more like I was already visiting her before James came in here.

She's been there for...about a while now. Well, since about my freshman year of highschool to be exact.

My mom has this illness (the doctors refuse to tell me but not James, who won't tell me either) where she's required to stay in the hospital.

I've overheard the doctors are saying she might die soon, and the illness most likely caused by....nevermind that that's rather private.

And with James away and my father....gone and probably dead somewhere it's just me at home, alone with all my thoughts and the blades and stress....

"Alexander, please." James sighed and took a seat next to our mother. "Let me be concerned I barely get to see her unlike you."

"It's not my fault you decided to go out of state." I shot back.

"It's only one state away, Alexander. It's no big-"

"Boys stop it." A familiar, gentle voice said from the bed, interrupting. Oh, it was mom. I almost forgot she was here...

"There's no need to argue, dears. At least your actually here." She reached out her hands and squeezed my hand along with James's, and smiled at us.

Somehow, despite the illness, she still seems like the person she was before her red-ish brown hair got replaced with slowly turning grey ones falling off and her eyes that smiled for her when she was little turned dull and almost hollow until she sees us.

Are you aware that you are just being a bother? She could be getting treated right now! Maybe you should cut when you get home....

Oh shut up. I'm not bothering her. If anything, James is. But maybe your right, I should cut-

"Alexander are you alright? You seemed spaced out again." My mother spoke up.

"I'm fine. Just...brainstorming ideas." I lied to her face, smiling. It felt...bad to do this. It's not like I could tell her the truth. She's already in enough pain. And if I told James he'd probably think I'm crazy...

Mom shook her head with a small smile. "That's my Alex. Always thinking. But how's school? Meet anyone nice?"

"Well, there's this one boy-"

A loud buzz was suddenly heard. James looked down at his phone, soon standing up.

"Sorry, mother. I have to go take this." And with that James left the room, leaving my mother and I to talk. I'm kind of glad he left to be honest.

It's always awkward with him in the room. He's never around much to talk anyways. Kind of reminds me of someone....

Mom sighed. "That boy. Always running off. So what were you gonna say?"

"Well..." I told her that I met this guy at Kingston named John who has a ukulele, went to a party (not mentioning Jeffershit or that I crashed it) and about Hercules and Lafayette.

Although, I didn't tell her about what happened with John...I don't want to feel worse about it than I already do. I mean, how could I just push away a nice person who just asked a simple question? He wouldn't know the complicated answer...

As I was finishing up talking, I noticed her eyes start to fall, so I stopped talking about meeting "the Frenchman" and "the guy named after that one Greek boy" and said, "Maybe you should get some rest. You seem tired."

Mom looked at me like I was crazy for a second before agreeing to take a nap and I headed out of the room, leaving to go home.

A/N: plot twist I forgot it was Wednesday today for a second whoops-
also i started working on a time line for this book in my notes section along with this chapter:

honestly I wanted to share that because this is the first book I'm doing something like...well, that for. I really like this book tbh. It's fun to write.