Chapter 7

Finn

"Good morning Ajax." I poured myself a coffee as I looked around the kitchen, "where's Benji?"

"He's sleeping in this morning. He said you can take his car to go pick up Liam."

"Okay, I'm going to start looking for a used car myself, any suggestions on a good place to check out?"

"The repair shop where Brett works has a used car lot next door owned by the same guy. I know him, he's honest and fair and he has some decent cars. I'll give him a call and see if he has anything appropriate."

"That's okay, I'll just stop over this afternoon if I can borrow Benji's car."

"I don't mind calling him, I..."

"What Ajax?" I felt like he was up to something and I didn't want him interfering. I was 19 years old and I had my own money, I could certainly buy a used car by myself, besides, I'm sure Brett would check it over for me.

"I just want to make sure the cars he shows you are appropriate...safe, reliable..."

"Ajax, I know you're just showing that you care, but I can do this on my own, I'm not going to get a piece of junk, but I'm not going to buy a brand new luxury SUV either," I knew that was a low blow, but I wasn't his responsibility the way Benji was, he had to give me my space.

Ajax put up his hands in defeat. "Just trust me," I added.

"Okay, okay, I will leave it in your very capable hands...now sit down I've made us breakfast...you like omelettes?"

"Yeah, thanks." I sat down across the island from him as he cut the large omelette in half and put it on two plates which he placed in front of each of us. He pulled out one plate from the oven that was keeping a pile of toast warm and another with bacon.

"This is awesome Ajax," I blurbled with a mouthful of food.

When we were finished, Ajax placed his utensils down and tented his fingers under chin and had that look like something was on his mind. I finished my last bite, put my utensils down and placed my hands in my lap, waiting for whatever it was he wanted to say.

"Benji wanted me to talk to you."

"About what?"

"He's worried about you."

"Why? I'm fine...great in fact. I'm back in Cali going to UCLA in the Fall, what could be better?"

"How are you feeling now, about everything that happened in Miami? He thinks you're still hurting."

"I don't feel anything anymore about what happened in Miami, it's in the past. I was a stupid little kid who misinterpreted the situation. It's over, I've moved on and I'm sure so has N...he."

"I don't believe you."

"Well you don't have a choice."

"You can't even say his name, Finn."

"Ajax, what's your point...besides trying to dig up old wounds? He doesn't want me anymore, I've moved on and now I don't want him anymore either, I'm fine with that. I came back because this is my home, New York was never my home. I'm away from Declan, who seemed to think he was in charge of my life, and I'm making a new start here again. I'm perfectly okay on my own and I'll probably meet plenty of single guys when school starts...besides, I've had plenty of boyfriends since him, it's not like I'm pining away." He probably already replaced me with a new sub, or a few of them I thought, but I kept that to myself. He was Ajax's brother after all and there was no need to bring the conversation to that level.

"Okay, well, if you've moved on, you've moved on," he replied, but I couldn't figure out his tone, I thought it might be a little patronizing.

"I need to go get Liam," I finally said after a quiet pause. I stood up and turned to walk away, but didn't move. Without turning around I took a big sigh and said, "I know you and Benji are just worried about me, but I need to work through this on my own. Coming back, and being with you guys stirred up some...fee...things...but it was still the right choice and I'll get past it again, don't worry. I'm looking forward to school and meeting new people and until then I'll focus on my own painting and teaching Liam to paint...that should keep me focused for a while."

"Okay Finn." He sighed, sounding more like he was acquiescing. I muttered a thanks and grabbed Benji's keys that were by the front door. The drive to Liam's would clear my head.

Benji

I was kissed awake by warm, soft lips. I wonder whose they were? Wait? Did I say that last part out loud...because now there was a very wet, slimy tongue poking in my ear.

"Wet Willy? You gave me a Wet Willy? What are you ten?" It was no way to be woken up, especially after the way he used and abused my body last night. Okay...it wasn't quite abuse, but he left me exhausted and completely devoid of the ability to move a muscle and my limbs still felt like they were way too heavy to lift up, let alone move in any manner. My man is an animal, a freaking beast!

"You love it," Ajax scoffed. Oh! Ajax, yeah that's whose lips they were. "You loved everywhere I put my tongue last night."

"I was probably drunk," I groaned as I rolled to my side in an attempt to start the process of ascent.

"You hadn't had a drop of alcohol, face it, you love everything I do to you." He planted a kiss on my cheek. "I'm going to work now, Finn left to go pick up Liam. I told him you were sleeping in, so take your time this morning baby." That was all I needed to hear as closed my eyes with a sigh.

"Oh! Ajax wait!" I shouted just before he closed the bedroom door behind him, I sat up with a groan.

"What's up Benj?"

"Saturday...umm, can we have...like a barbecue for some of the kids at the Boy's Club? There's this little one named Jason, he reminds me of Liam when we first met him. He had his birthday last week and didn't even have a party...I was thinking we could have a bunch of them here for the day, swim, play some soccer, lots of food...get a big cake. Just get them out of downtown for the a day."

"Sure Babe, that sounds like a great idea. Do you need any help planning it?"

"No, Joe will help. We'll go get the food on Friday...just if you could be there, that would be great."

"Okay Captain, make it so," he grinned. "I'll see you tonight."

"Thanks Boo," I called before I flopped back down in my soft, cozy bed. Ahhh....I love my bed so much, I'm never, ever leaving it.

Finn

"What do you think of my new car Liam...or new to me?" Brett had helped me choose one of the cars his boss had in their lot. A 2013 dark grey Ford Explorer, yeah, not the most flashy or exciting car, maybe downright boring, but it was the right price and a decent size and it was American. My Dad was always a big proponent of buying American and I like how Ford was the only American car manufacturer that didn't need a bailout back in 2009. I thought Dad would have liked that too.

"It's cool, lots of room I guess, and if Brett said it was a good car, than it is," he replied.

"Yeah, it should fit plenty of art supplies, right?"

"Yeah."

"You guys are coming tomorrow? To the barbecue?"

"Yup, Joe asked us to help."

"Awesome! It'll be great. Don't forget your bathing suits," I reminded him as I pulled to the curb by their apartment. We saw Jonah about a block up the street on his way home. "When are you going to show him your painting?"

"When it's finished," he replied simply. "It's gonna be his birthday present."

"Ha, that's great. I'm sure he'll really like it. When do I get to see the other one you're working on?"

"When it's finished." I looked next to me and he gave me a knowing smile. Liam had been working on the two paintings for several days, only letting me see one of them. I had taught Liam to cover his paintings with a large cloth to keep the dust off when he wasn't working on them and he'd been carefully covering the second one before I could see anything, making me promise not to peek.

"You know you're pretty awesome don't you?" I asked the young boy.

"I guess," he said rolling his eyes making me laugh.

"Hey!" Jonah called, coming over to Liam's window and leaning down. "Hey Li."

It was sweet watching the way they looked at each other. Big bright smiles, their eyes shining with sincere and pure love. I envied the two of them. Liam got out of the car, throwing his messenger bag over his shoulder. "Thanks Finn," he said, turning to me before he followed the larger boy.

"See you tomorrow Finn," Jonah called out.

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Nico

"Nico, I thought you were going to drop those off at the office on Monday?" Ajax looked surprised as he opened the front door of the house he and Benji now shared, blocking the way with a hesitant look.

"I was going for a drive around the area, so I thought I would just drop them off today, I didn't have anything else I needed to leave the ship for on Monday so why make the trip?" I didn't tell him that I planned to pull up anchor and have Santos take us down the coast again before then. It was just too hard being in L.A., knowing he was so close.

"Because you've been cooped up on that ship for almost 3 years?"

"AJ..."

"Really Nico, you need to start living your life again. I could use the help at the office and there's a whole world outside the confines of Serenity. It's not healthy."

"Whatever. Are you going to invite me in or what?"

"Yeah, sure...but Nico..."

"What is it AJ?"

"Finn's here. He and Benji are in the backyard playing soccer with some of the boys Benji works with. They'll probably be out there a while though, so it's okay. Come on, let's go in my office." I hesitated for what felt like an eternity, but was probably only a few seconds. My chest felt tight and my hands suddenly went clammy.

"Nico, come on, it's okay."

I followed Ajax through the house, when we reached the office he closed the door behind us. "I have some other stuff I wanted you to look at as long as you're here."

Ajax went around to his desk looking through some files. I wandered over to the window that looked over the backyard. I stood several inches back so I couldn't be seen. My eyes immediately found Finn. He was much taller than the last time I'd seen him, filled out but still lean and wiry. His face looked more mature, his hair a shade darker...still as beautiful as the first day I saw him, just grown up. My hand went up clutching my heart at some kind of pain I couldn't put a name on.

"He got tall," I said to Ajax, keeping any inflection out of my voice.

"Yeah, I guess he was a late bloomer. He said he knew when he was having a growth spurt because his legs would ache, he was shooting up so fast. And you should see him eat. He eats more than Benji and I combined."

I winced at the thought of Finn in pain, even if was just growing pains. I should have been there to help him through that, rub pain cream where it hurt. Run him hot baths. I couldn't take my eyes off him; he looked so confident and happy.

"He's staying here? I thought you found him an apartment?"

"Yeah, there was one available at our building on West Street, It's not quite ready yet, he moves in next month."

"Does he know it's ours?"

"Nah, it's managed by the holding company, so no need. Benji doesn't even know. I knew you'd want him in a good place." I nodded thoughtfully.

My lips formed a small smile as I watched Finn running down the improvised soccer field. He was still a fast and graceful runner. I couldn't take my eyes off him as he scooped up a small boy who was sitting off to the side by himself and threw him up on his shoulders like he weighed nothing. Finn ran with the boy, stealing the ball from the other team and quickly changing direction well ahead of any of his opponents, the small boy laughing as they ran. I'd never had a chance to see him play the game, but he was a natural athlete; I watched rapt in awe as in one swift movement his leg shot out and he scored an easy goal against the teenager playing goalie, much to the delight of the boy on his shoulders.

"And his voice has gotten deeper too," Ajax continued. "He's grown up into a really great young man."

"I knew he would," I whispered.

"Do you want to see him?"

"No, you know I can't 'Jax."

"Declan has no power anymore Nico, Finn's 19. He's on his own now, he only answers to himself."

"I know, but I hurt him too much already, I'm sure he hates me and I couldn't bear to see that look on his face. I'll always be looking out for him and making sure he has everything he needs, but I can't interject myself in his life again. He deserves better."

I heard Ajax let out a long sigh, but I didn't turn around. I'd let everyone down and it weighed heavily on me every hour of every day since I left him.

"Well, they'll probably be coming in for lunch soon..."

"I'll get going then."

"Here, take these reports with you. I need a second opinion on them. Let me know when you've reviewed them and we can discuss the strategy I'd like to employ."

"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow." I gave Finn one last long look before I took the folders from Ajax and headed out of his office and made my way back to the front door.

I heard the sound of a sliding door open, but I kept going. Finn was all the way at the back of the yard when I looked, so I was pretty sure it wasn't him anyway.

"Nico?" I stopped just as my hand grasped the front door handle. Sighing, I turned slightly to my left.

"Hi Benji."

"What are you doing here? I didn't know you were in California."

"I...I haven't been here long, Ajax needed me to sign some papers and some of my crew wanted some time off to see their families, so I'm switching them out."

"Where..."

"Down in Central America most of the time."

"Want me to get Finn?"

"No!" I barked, Benji frowned at the tone of my voice. "I'm sorry, No Benji. He doesn't need me in his life again. Please don't tell him I was here, that I'm here in L.A. I'm only here for a short time, there's no point."

"I think he'd want to see you."

"I don't think so Benji. I saw how happy he looks. He's got a new life now; everything's going well for him. Let's not disturb that...again. Please Benji, just do this for me...for Finn. It's just won't work...I can't do it, I really can't do it...I have to go." The tightening of my chest was getting worse and I knew I had to get out of there as quickly as possible.

"Okay Nico. Umm, take care I guess?"

"You too. Bye Benji."