When Sung-kyung excuses herself to go to the bathroom once I've calmed down, I quickly get changed into the clean clothes I found in a bag by the bed and nonchalantly make my way towards the hospital's exit, knowing that the more I appear normal, the better my chances at making it out without being stopped by one of the nurses.

I also don't have a lot of time before Sung-kyung finds out that I fled and she's going to snap my head off my body if she finds me, so I don't have time to spare, my life is on the line.

My life, but also my mental sanity.

Of all places to meet a soulmate, it has to be at the hospital, the only place where meeting one feels worse than being in prison because if I'm here, it's because I'm hurt, yet being in their presence feels excruciatingly painful, which means that the one supposed to help me get better is the one making me feel worse. Not ideal.

Just how many of them is there? Why are they everywhere? Do they rule the world and I'm just not aware of it?

If so, where am I going to meet the next ones if there is any more to meet? I need a warning, I need someone to send me the time, date, location, the setting, the weather, everything. I need to be ready so I can avoid the meeting.

I make it out of the building without incident and start making my way as far away as possible. The further I am from the hospital, the better my chances of survival. These soulmates are going to cause my death one day and I'm not excited to see that happen. I'd rather be eaten alive by a dog.

I sigh at my pitiful life. It would have been easier if I had only one soulmate, I could avoid them easily, but then I'd feel bad for keeping from them their only chance of connecting with a soulmate. I guess if it had been only Jimin and Hoseok, I could've tolerated it, not being part of their lives.

This whole day sucks. I just want to go home and stay locked in there until the world ends, but it's obviously not something the world seems ready to allow to happen for me. It's very intent on making me miserable.

I cross the street at a green light and notice an empty park where there are swings, a very calm green area that feels like the perfect place to take a break, my body needing it because I'm just about to start crawling on the ground.

Someone's going to find me anyway, there's no way I'm making it far for too long, might as well just take a moment to clear my mind properly.

I head to one of the swings and sit on it before letting the wind move me slightly, my feet unable to touch the sand from how high they are.

I look up at the sky and inhale deeply. How do I deal with this situation?

My doctor is my soulmate. Can I work my way around that? Can I ask for someone else to care for me? Can I go to another hospital? Can I just stay home in bed and take care of myself? Can that be allowed? Bo-young is a healer, she could take care of me.

I sigh. Who am I kidding? Like they'd ever permit that. I'm doomed, I really am.

My phone rings again and I look down to see Sung-kyung's name on the screen. I shove it back in my pocket and hum to myself, mind wondering how she might scold me.

Maybe I'm in for a good ass whooping this time. It doesn't matter if I saved her life, causing her anxiety is a good way to get on her bad side and I seem to be doing that a lot today.

I grab my phone again and unlock it to look at the news, finding nearly everything to be about the explosion and when I read some of them, they all praise the unknown savior who used their magic to save everyone at the mall.

Some comments here and there saying that I still hurt a lot of people, but when I see a reply kindly asking them to go fuck themselves, that I saved more souls than he'll ever take dumps in his short pitiful life, I let out a loud laugh that scares away some birds, something I pay no mind to because it feels good to laugh even if only a little.

At least none of the news seem to know of my identity, and it they do, they're not sharing it. I have to be thankful for that, I would hate having to deal with anything related to what happened. If the day's events could just be forgotten in the coming days, I would be very happy.

A text comes in and I quickly peek at it to see that it's from Sung-kyung. I hum with pursed lips, heart hesitating between laughing and being afraid.

Sungnie:
If I don't see you come back at the hospital right now, I'm going to make you eat those sugar free gummy bears and you'll spend the rest of the week on the toilet, don't test me.

This is a very serious threat but... I put my phone away and shrug. Oh well.

I wonder if I'm currently a fugitive since I ran away without so much as a warning, especially now that I'm ignoring the warnings of a police officer.

Which one is worse? Running away from an officer or from a doctor? I wasn't even discharged from the hospital, can they arrest me for that? I fall into laughter. I can see my ass being brought back to the hospital with an arrest warrant on my head.

Thinking of the doctor, Kim Namjoon he'd called himself, my smile dims.

When he'd walked in and out of the room, it had felt like my soul was being ripped apart and I hate being subject to all of this every single time I see them.

The only relief I get out of this is that they don't feel the same way I do because I'm the only one wearing the collar. Their magic doesn't try to fight against a wall whenever they see me. Their magic probably doesn't even know why they reach out to me, it just does.

Having cried as much as I did weighs on my head like a brick and I just want to crash somewhere and sleep forever. Maybe I should make my way home after all. Or would it be less trouble if I just stay here? I groan and mess with my hair as I await my verdict.

It doesn't take long before I hear the siren of a police car stopping right by the swings and I roll my eyes at how dramatic this all seems. I just left the hospital, it's not like I killed someone.

Wait... Actually scratch that...

I sigh and stand up to make my way towards the car, expecting to see Sung-kyung step out but to my surprise and shock, when the driver's door opens, it's to reveal one of the two soulmates that was present at the explosion.

Shit.

I stop in my track when I feel his magic reach out to me, the same pain taking over once more and my soul starts crying, something I would do too if I wasn't in the process of considering making a run for it.

His eyes fall on me, observant and analyzing my wary stance and he makes his way over, stopping only a few feet in front of me.

Too close, yet not close enough. I bite on my tongue to keep myself from whimpering at just how strong the pull is, at how terrible it feels, at how done my soul is at the moment, all these meetings too much for me in a single day.

"I sure wasn't expecting to get a call from Sung-kyung telling me that her best friend is on the run from the hospital and to bring her back as soon as possible before she throws you in a cell herself, especially not the call that followed from Namjoon, your doctor, who also happens to be my soulmate, telling me of your exact whereabouts after using his magic to request for me to bring you back, yet both happened and here I am to make their very similar wish come true. You'll collaborate, won't you, Y/N?" the officer says with a playful tone, clearly trying to ease the tense mood, something that doesn't work that well for me right now.

I tsk my tongue at him, something that earns me a quirked eyebrow and get to his car, back door opening to sit inside without waiting for his permission or request. It's not hard to know that this is the only verdict happening for me today. I just hope I don't break by the time the day ends.

A little taken aback, he scratches the back of his neck, his wide shoulders stretching at the move and I divert my gaze from him, a good breathing leaving me to get ready for the ride about to happen, one that will not leave me unaffected.

He gets in the driver's seat again and frowns a little as he shoots me an incredulous look. "Sure wasn't expecting you to get in so quickly either. This is a frequent occurrence?" he asks and I shrug, a hint of a smile on my lips as I turn my gaze outside.

"Maybe, you can always ask Sung-kyung later. After she locks me in the hospital room, she'll surely be eager to share all my misadventures" I let out, hear his hum as he starts up the car.

"I'll be sure to do that then".

With that said, he takes us away from the park while I grumble about how I couldn't even stay out for that long, something that makes him chuckle a few times, but he doesn't utter a single word, probably trying to respect my need for some quiet, something I appreciate, even if it's not really restful with the collar burning my skin.

As we near the hospital, my guts clench more and more with unease and I turn my gaze to the police officer.

"Can't I just head home? I just need rest, I can do that on my own, I really don't want to go back there" I plead, hoping he could take my side but he shakes his head with a soft sigh.

"Sorry dear, no can do. They need to make sure that your state is stable before they let you go. What you did today... it was intense, you used a lot of magic, your body got damaged even more, they're both doing this for you, just let them have this one, you're going to be heading home before you know it" he explains and I perk up a little at what this insinuates.

"Does that mean I won't be punished for what happened? For the damages done to the area and everything else?" I ask him, watch as he gives me a puzzled look from the front-rear mirror.

"Punish you? Goodness, not with how many lives you saved, no. Plus there barely was any damage except for the building threatening us all so if anything, you'll get thank yous. Especially from my soulmates and I" he counters with a chuckle.

Well that does make me feel better. I won't have any means of hiding from my soulmates, but at least I won't be stuck in a place filled with terrible criminals.

"So, want to tell me why you fled the hospital when you apparently just woke up?" he asks suddenly and I slouch on my seat, head resting against the car's window.

"Magic problems" I mumble, not willing to really say more than that. What would that change?

He hums, blinker ticking in the car as he stops at a red light to turn left, the incessant tick growing on my nerves in the otherwise silent car.

"Do you ever remove your collar when you're at home, dear?". I look up to the front to see him gazing at me with a small concerned smile, eyes telling me he's already aware of the answer, that he's just trying to understand. He continues at my silence.

"I don't mean to overstep my boundaries, but I was informed of your collar situation by my station's chief when he heard about me coming to pick you up earlier, something about how I should know just in case. Not creating any bond with your magic for thirteen years? Don't you think your life would be easier if you allowed yourself to truly rest when at home? It won't tolerate being locked away forever".

I look at my hands on my knees. I respect his attempt at telling me what I already know, but he will be disappointed to know that him being my soulmate won't change anything.

"If your magic was dangerous and able to kill thousands of people in the blink of an eye, would you want to bond with it?" I ask him and silence meets my words, his lips pressing into a thin line as he brings his eyes back to the front, face looking disturbed. Thought so.

We reach the hospital without saying a single word and I feel really bad about it, but it's better like that, for me and for him.

The less they like me, the less I'll see them, right?

Even if it tears me apart, this is the right thing to do, I've let things go on for long enough with Hoseok and Jimin too, it's becoming way more than I can handle.

Maybe I should move to another city. Get as far away as I can so I won't meet them again. Start over in another country maybe. I wouldn't see my best friends anymore, but they'd have each other, they'd get over it.

Once the officer opens the door for me, something that pulls me out of my thoughts, Sung-kyung drags me by the ear back to my room and I get an earful of scolding before Namjoon eventually asks her to leave the room to leave us alone, which feels more like a continuation of a torture than a liberation.

He grabs a chair and sets it by the bed while I lean against the headboard of said bed, hoping this could be quick so I can just leave.

Feeling his magic wrap around me is a torment that I wish I could avoid because it makes me feel so powerless, but asking him to just stay away from me would feel even worse. No matter what I do, there's no getting out of this with a smile.

The doctor clears his throat and writes a few things in his notes, eyes not looking up from the papers but it doesn't take a hypersensitive person to see that he's unhappy with the stunt I pulled off, which has me curling in on myself, arms wrapped around my knees.

"So, seeing as you ran away as soon as your friend left the room, I'm guessing you don't physically hurt anywhere to the point of not being able to walk. You got quite far and Jin said you looked like you were waiting for someone to come get you when he arrived since you walked to the car instantly and got inside by yourself. Did you need some fresh air? You know you could've asked and we would've allowed you to head outside for a while" he starts saying, eyes looking at the monitor to note the results as the annoying beeping lets out its constant noise, the numbers looking frighteningly uneven as my heart frantically beats in my chest.

"It's... more difficult than that. If I just wanted fresh air, I would've opened the window and that would be the end of it" I mumble, brain unconsciously registering the name of the gentle police officer I was with. He hums.

"So you left to avoid something? Is it because of what happened today?" he asks, no urgency in his voice, just questions I would rather not hear at all.

Still, I nod because lying to a soulmate would make me feel like shit.

Everything makes me feel like shit but lying to him would somehow make it worse.

"This day has been incredibly demanding, Doctor, at this point, all I want is to be in my bed and take it easy for the week" I tell him as I grow impatient. It's not like he's annoying or anything like that, I'd just rather not be here at all.

He hums quietly, lost in thoughts, pen tapping on his bottom lip as he tries to come up with something to say. I have to breathe in the other way for a moment, my heart squeezing uncomfortably as he shifts closer, his magic acting like arrows piercing through my soul in order to get a reaction.

"Would you agree to meet a psychologist? Someone who could help you process this? Would that be of interest to you?" he asks, eyes finally looking up to meet mine.

I stare at him without saying a word, not knowing what to say to that.

Do I want to see a psychologist? They'll end up trying to dig deeper and deeper, they'll somehow find out that I have secrets and they'll want me to just... throw them out in the open. To say every insecurities I have aloud only for them to tell me that to heal, I have to forgive myself first.

I honestly don't want that. I can't forgive myself, I don't deserve it. My magic doesn't deserve it.

"No thank you, I'll be fine by myself" I eventually say. He keeps staring at me and puts his notes and pen down before crossing his legs and tilts his head at me.

I inhale sharply, bracing myself. Here it comes, the judging. You should go, it would help you, you can't keep everything to yourself forever, you'll break if you keep going like that. Blah blah blah.

"Alright. It's your choice, Y/N. It's not a decision I recommend, but I can't and will not force you. Just know that if you ever change your mind, we're one call away from offering you help" he says with a nod of the head.

My eyes widen and I frown. I must have misheard that.

"You're not going to insist?" I ask him, watch as he shakes his head with an eyebrow raised at me.

"Would you listen if I insisted?".

I huff. "No".

He smiles. "That's why I'm not insisting. Still, I have a concern that I need to share with you, Y/N. About you not removing your collar".

I sigh and throw my head back. Can people just leave the matter alone?

"I know it's not a fun subject for you, I don't know what happened, obviously, but what I do know is that what you're doing is not healthy. If you keep locking it away 24/7, it's going to turn back on you. You claim it being dangerous, but what's even more dangerous is letting it get out of control" he informs me, as if I didn't already know.

Him and his soulmate, Jin, must have talked before coming to my room. I shut my eyes to try and keep my calm but this day is testing me.

I open my eyes to stare at him and he flinches slightly, something I regret but I can't help the harsh tone leaving my mouth.

"You all don't understand. My magic is already out of control. No matter what I do, my magic will never be a good thing. I can't- no, I don't want to bond with it. If I keep it locked, then it can't hurt anyone. How sure are you that the wards at my home are strong enough to keep it under control? Didn't you see how strong it is when it stopped the damn explosion? How sure are you that while I sleep, it won't just decide to cause a fucking tsunami to drown the whole place? Oh, maybe you'd rather have a brand new volcano in the middle of the town? What about a tornado? Maybe a mix of everything? I can't do that, my magic is a fucking mess and it's a collar away from a disaster. I can't take the risk. I'm fucking tired of having people tell me the same thing again and again as if they know better, so here's your damn answer! Is that all you had to ask?" I let out, my insides burning and screaming at me for the look I put on my soulmate's face, his eyes wide and shocked.

He seems absolutely taken aback and speechless as he processes my words and I let my shoulders drop, defeated.

"Look... can I just go home?" I ask him, this time softer, my tone weak, my energy totally drained.

I already said too much, much more than I should've and if he can't link the past to me, then he's an idiot.

He nods slowly and blinks a few times to get his brain back in order.

"I... yes. You can go but please think about what I said. Don't you think that if we all say the same thing, it's because it's ultimately for the best? If you really worry about the wards, have them checked again and tested, there is help adapted for those wearing a collar, please don't keep yourself locked in a corner by fear, that never helps" he tries again as he observes me stand up from the bed after unplugging myself from the monitor.

I don't reply, which causes him to sigh again, as if he's given up, and I hope he did.

He stands up from his chair and heads to a table where he picks up a lunch box then turns to me, hesitant, maybe even a little guilty as he looks up to meet my gaze.

"Jin made this for you, his way of saying thank you for saving him and Yoongi as well as everyone else that was present at the mall today. It's not nearly enough to express how thankful we are but... this is a small token of our gratitude, I wish you would accept, he'd be very happy about it" he says before handing it to me and I slowly reach out for it, my guts twisting at knowing that I don't deserve this, but knowing that a soulmate did this for me...

I want it. So badly.

He smiles at me once I bring the box to my chest and then watches as I grab my belongings and bow before making my way out.

Once I close the door behind me, I lean against it and rest a hand over my heart, every pump of blood painful and harder to handle than the last. Why is it always so fucking hard to leave them behind?

"I'm sorry" I murmur as I try to fight against the urge to head back inside and just spill everything, as I fight against the urge to remove my collar.

I bring a hand to it and pull against the damn material, breathing seeming so hard to do because of it, because it won't allow me to bond with my soulmate, because my magic can't connect with any of them.

It grows greedier with every new ones and I fear the day when Namjoon's warning becomes reality.

I need to get away from here. The fastest I leave, the sooner this pain can be over.

Jin's POV

I silently drive back to the station with Sung-kyung feeling bad about what I said earlier.

I didn't want to make Y/N uncomfortable, it just feels so natural for me to try to help her. She saved us all, she risked her life to protect us and to not be able to thank her properly... to see her harm herself that way? It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, in my soul.

"Did something happen between Y/N and you earlier?" she asks and I sigh before nodding. She's her best friend, of course she would notice something.

"I asked her about her collar. I told her that it would be better if she removed it when at home and... she closed herself off after saying something that I just can't see happening... she thinks her magic could kill thousands of people if she removes it, it's impossible, no magic is strong enough for that to happen" I tell her, turn my head just enough to see her sigh as she runs a hand through her hair.

"There are some things better left unsaid, Jin-ah. Tell yourself that she has a good reason for not wanting to remove it. I'm not saying that I agree with her because I know you're right, but Y/N and her magic... they don't go hand in hand. Not to her at least. She hates it with her whole being. It's better if you avoid the subject entirely when with her" she says, voice exhausted.

We pull up into the station's parking lot and then leave the car to head inside, my brain trying to digest the information about her.

Why is everything so complicated when it comes to her?

First with Jimin and Hoseok, how she kept refusing to spend time with us for some unknown reasons, how she managed to put an end to the explosion, her magic a barrier of fire and wind that kept it within control, something that shouldn't be possible for a single person, then the situation with her collar? Thirteen years without removing it and she's still stubborn about keeping it on even though it's obvious that it's hurting her?

It's like she's trying to stay as far away as possible from anything related to her magic. As if she wants to appear invisible, as if it doesn't exist. She's hiding behind her collar but it might very well turn against her one day.

I part from Sung-kyung and head towards Yoongi's office to see him bent over his desk searching through some folders through the half-opened door. I knock lightly to alert him of my presence since he seems too focused to notice my magic and step inside before closing it behind me as he sighs.

"What are you doing?" I ask as he leans back into his chair, I grab one of the folders to see names and pictures of different people.

"I'm trying to find out who could have participated in today's incident, Sung-kyung told me that Y/N said someone was inside the building, someone she had to kill to stop the explosion. She's going to ask her more questions in the coming days but in the meantime, I'm trying to search on my side as well. Those are all people who were nearby when the sensors near the area reacted, no matter how strong the magic essence was" he explains while grabbing another one.

I hum and search the pages, descriptions of their power and the alibis that were provided as well to prove that they had nothing to do with the case. My soulmate has been busy during these last hours.

"So far, I haven't found a single power that fits with what happened, which doesn't make sense because if someone was behind the explosion, then magic was used, but there's nothing, nothing at all" he says, his face looking exhausted as he drops the documents on the desk and I hum as I take a seat in front of him.

"You didn't manage to get anything from the cameras surrounding the area?" I ask him, watch as he shakes his head.

"No, they were all out of order from a few minutes before until after the explosion. I tried to find any hints from other cameras but... they knew what they were doing, these people are all harmless" he says with a disappointed voice as he motions for the folders.

"We'll have to wait until we can ask Y/N then" I mumble as I massage my temples, an incoming headache from everything that's been happening today threatening to make my head pound painfully.

"Is something bothering you? I heard you were sent to go pick her up because she ran away from the hospital" he asks, a little amused. I shoot him an exasperated look.

"I don't know what to think, Yoongi-ah, she's... there's something complicated about her and not knowing what it is... it makes me impatient. She's not well but I don't know how to help" I tell him while gazing at the folder in my hands as I mindlessly flip the pages.

"What happened, hyung?" he asks gently and I huff out softly.

"I went too far, as I usually do when I want to help. Chief Bang told me about her collar, about how she's been wearing it for thirteen years. Thirteen years, Yoongi-ah, can you imagine? I could see on his face that he was hoping for me to somehow convince her, so I told her that keeping her magic locked all the time wasn't a good thing, that she should remove her collar when at home, to bond with it, as if she didn't already know that" I start, a shake of my head at how ridiculous this sounds now. I really had to use the worst method to go at it.

"I'm guessing her reaction wasn't very good" Yoongi lets out with a frown, lips pursed and I look down, body slouching on the chair.

"What she said in response was... Would you want to bond with your magic if it could kill thousands of people in the blink of an eye? What am I supposed to say to that? She completely closed the door after that, I fear I might have gotten in the way of Namjoon's job with what I said" I explain and Yoongi nods, arms crossed over his chest as he rests his head on the back of the chair.

"What is done is done... you couldn't know it would turn out that way. But to kill thousands of people? Where did that come from?" he mumbles, brain analyzing the words like they could give out the truth all of a sudden.

I shrug. "Sung-kyung said that Y/N hates her magic. That she has a good reason for not wanting to free it. Something must have happened in the past for her to react that way, I just can't see what it is" I say, my own brain trying to make sense of everything.

He hums and bends back over his desk to gather the folders.

"Right... it's indeed frustrating to not know hyung, but for now, there's nothing we can do about that so let's focus on today's case, alright? I hate to say it, but focusing on her past won't make us understand what happened today" he says and I close my eyes, the harsh truth forcing me back on track.

"You're right, of course... There's a time for everything and for now, this is more important, thanks for reminding me, Yoongi-ah. What have you gotten so far?" I ask him, ready to focus and he smiles softly before setting a few papers in front of him, writing facing me so I can read.

"Let's go back from the beginning. We had a report about a possible criminal explosion. When we got there, we found a huge gas leak in a random building near the mall. Up to that point, it raises a few concerns but it sounds like it could happen, right? Except... when I contacted an engineer to analyze the building's plans, he said that there was no way for such an amount of gas to be there in the first place. I think we need to start with that. There's something not right here".

He shows me the corresponding documents, notes written all over them and I am yet again reminded of how smart and involved my soulmate is about his work. Whoever said that he takes it easy clearly doesn't know him because when he gets started, he doesn't take any break until he reaches what he wants.

"That indeed sounds... weird. You think it would be magic?" I ask him and he nods.

"I know it was, it has to be. How else can you explain someone being in the building when the explosion occurred without dying from simply inhaling the air inside? It doesn't make sense. I don't know how they're managing to go around the sensors to keep us from finding them, but there's more than one person taking part in this and we need to find out who before they try something else" he explains, words that show just how much he's been thinking about it.

"Is there magic that can work against the sensors? Something that could either... infiltrate the system or maybe hide magic essence? I think it would be a good idea to look into that, maybe we could find some clue" I offer and Yoongi claps his hands, as if he was just given a eureka.

"Hyung, you are a genius" he blurts out, hands going to squeeze my cheeks once he jumps to his feet to give my nose a smooch and I can't help my cheeks from heating up as he rushes out of the room, his shout sounding reinvigorated and although this is a good thing, it also means that tonight, we're going back home late.

I inwardly sigh.

I should've shared that tomorrow instead.