Your POV

That day is coming.

It might still be a few months ahead, but it's coming and with each day that passes, it's like I lose myself some more. It's all I can think about anymore.

The subject is already on TV, in the newspapers, on the radio, in everyone's mouth, there's no running away from it, no matter how hard I try to stay oblivious to it. It runs after me, tries to remind me of my guilt, as if I'm not already doing that every single day of my life.

The earthquake. The day I took so many lives in an attempt to save myself.

It was the day my parents messed up so bad that it made me destroy everything that I knew, everything that was my reality.

No matter where I look around me, it's all people talk about.

The theories, how it happened, why it happened, how terrible it was, all the pain it caused, some of my coworkers sometimes found crying because it reminds them of their lost children, of their lost family members, I'm right in the middle of it all.

Even Bo-young who lost her brother because of me when he was all she had, I took that from her and to see the nostalgic glaze to her eyes? It manages to make the constant thrum of pain in my soul that won't leave me anymore that much stronger.

Sung-kyung's words keep flashing back in my mind, the way she got angry at me, something that somehow managed to put a strain on our friendship, our meetings now only when she's driving me back home at the end of the day, Eunwoo taking care of the mornings, but even to that, I don't know how I feel anymore, every emotions so muted, like I'm just... being alive, but not living anymore.

It's actually a relief to feel so disconnected for once, to not have so many emotions fighting within me. The whole world could judge me that I wouldn't give a shit right now, my ability to just... feel taking a trip somewhere in the Bahamas for the summer and giving me a break.

The only thing that remains though... guilt.

That one is a deadly virus, one that doesn't want to let go of me. Its grip is stronger than the grip I have on myself and I don't know what to do anymore, the way quicksand keeps swallowing me up until I disappear entirely terrifying me more and more.

I wave goodbye to Eunwoo, the friendship we could've build if I was myself nowhere existent because of the way I've been keeping to myself, and I can see it in his eyes, the worry, the regret, the need to help, but even him doesn't know how, no one does.

Bo-young sees me enter work and she frowns in concern as she reaches my side, an arm around my back to support me as we walk to my desk, something I appreciate because I feel so weak, no strength left in my body.

My nightmares nowadays have been often and terrible, I can't sleep anymore, it must be starting to show.

"Y/N-ie... You can't keep going like this, I'm really worried now, please talk to me" she begs as I sit down with an exhausted huff, the coffee in front of my eyes, one that clearly comes from the boys, a similar one on her desk something that has my heart breaking some more, because gosh I miss them.

I don't want to, but to deny it would be... worse than what I'm doing to myself. I really miss them.

Everyone around us tries to pretend like they're not listening, they really do try to ignore the conversation about to happen but they themselves can't help but throw us some looks, some with worry, some with plain curiosity, the need to gossip spilling out of them without shame.

I know I've been looking like a mess, far from what I looked like before the incident. Taking care of myself has reached a new low and I'm barely managing to put enough makeup on so that I don't get kicked out of work.

Except for Bo-young, no one knows that I'm behind the dome that kept the explosion from blowing up, they just know that I got into an accident that took me to the hospital and that it resulted in me now looking like death.

I try to smile and tell her that I'm fine but she stops me before I can even get the words out.

"No, Y/N, you're not fine, don't throw that on me anymore. Look, I don't know everything, I know it's better if I don't, you told me that so often, but Sung-kyung knows, right? Tell her, talk to her, please get help, I can't see you like that anymore, it breaks my heart" she pleads, eyes wet with unshed tears that threaten to fall down her cheeks anytime now.

I stare at her and try to find what to say. How wrong is it that even seeing one of my best friends in that state doesn't get to me anymore either? It hurts my heart, but it's like a mosquito bite compared to a bee sting, it's itchy, but not quite worth crying about.

"I'm sorry, Bommie... I... I'll think about it, I promise" I tell her, watch as her frown deepens before she sighs and nods, powerless and knowing that no matter what she says, right now, it won't change anything.

She hugs me tightly before walking back to her desk and when I look around me, the heavy stares burning my skin, it's to see everyone avoiding my gaze, eyes going back to focus on their work as if they didn't just witness the whole thing.

What's becoming of me? I understand her concerns but everything feels... too big, too heavy for me to handle now.

My soulmates, my magic, the earthquake, the death, all the death, I can't just keep my head held high and pretend like I'm fine anymore, I don't have the energy for such pretense, not when I need it for work.

Turning my gaze back to the cup of coffee, the steam rising up telling me that it's been recently made, I slowly reach out and lift it up, then tilt the cup in a circle to feel the heat move around inside, just as warm as my soulmates' presence, their smiles, their gentleness, their caring nature, their magic.

Everything about them so inviting, yet forever out of reach.

I take a sip of the hot liquid, hoping it could somehow give me the strength to get through this day and proceed to set my workspace ready, computer turned on, the damned thing seeming so freaking slow today, yet it also seems to be right in sync with how I feel, tired and barely managing to follow.

I sigh. Today's going to be a long day.

Jungkook's POV

I can't believe today is my first day at work.

It's an indescribable feeling of excitement that fills me as I run down the stairs to reach the kitchen where a delicious smell of pancakes reaches my nose, Hoseok at the stove while Taehyung observes as he hugs our soulmate from the back, chin resting on his shoulder.

I turn my head to see the others in the living room and grin excitedly when Namjoon's eyes fall on me, a smile stretching his lips before he invites me over.

"Good morning, Kookie" he muses when I drop myself on his lap for a tight hug, body curving into his when his arms wrap around me. "First day of work today, how do you feel?" he asks and I giggle, body unable to contain all of my happiness on the matter.

"Really good, I can't wait to see what they'll have in store for me" I answer, hear a few hums at that, Yoongi and Jin both cuddled together in front of the TV while Jimin sips a coffee while scrolling on his phone, their ears listening to us more than they focus on what they're doing.

"Just don't be too disappointed if they don't make you do anything of high importance, bun, you're new so they'll probably go gradually, they need to see what you can do first" Jin reminds me and I nod, I know that, and it's fine, I understand why.

"I know, hyung, but no matter what they end up making me do, no matter how small and easy the task, it's still going to help bring to life new collections! Not everyone can take care of the really big tasks, you need people to do the boring ones as well, it's not just experience that decides whether you do something visible or not, people who've been there for a long time will do tasks they don't enjoy, plus, who knows, in a few months or years, I might be behind a design or a complete piece of clothing! I know my turn will come one day" I chirp, unable to keep myself from dreaming, I just know that I can make it there one day.

Jimin grins and sends me a thumb up in full support. "You can do it, Kook! Once they see what you can do, they'll want to see more and more, they won't resist making you part of something big soon, I just know it".

Yoongi sighs. "Don't go giving him such big hopes too soon, pup, it's his first day, he's going to be disappointed with what he'll end up doing otherwise".

I shake my head and snuggle deeper into Namjoon's hold with a happy sigh. "Don't worry hyung, I know what to expect from today, they'll mostly be showing me around, I don't mind. I need to get to know the company and its values first if I want to do anything of importance, I'll be patient".

Namjoon pats my back softly with a hum. "You'll do amazing, Kookie, don't stress too much and enjoy your day, okay? They'll all love you so just be yourself and don't forget to respect your superiors".

I nod, they already told me that a few times since last week, but it makes me smile because that simply serves to show how much they care, they want this to go well for me as much as I do.

I couldn't ask for better support from my soulmates.

"Everyone! Food is ready!" Hoseok screams from the kitchen and I gasp before pushing myself off of Namjoon to run to the dining table, the latter letting out an offended huff from how fast I was to abandon him while Jimin cackles at him, hands getting his to comfort him as they follow behind.

"Come on, Yoongi-ah, you can't stay here while we eat, you need to ingest something too, even if you're not hungry" I hear Jin say and when I turn around, it's to see Yoongi laying back on the couch, eyes shut and tiredness visible even from where I stand.

Right, since they came back from work that day, Jin, Yoongi and Namjoon together, an uncommon sight, I've observed how their shoulders now look like they're holding an even bigger weight than before, like whatever it is that they've found out is something way out of reach, something they can't solve by themselves.

Jimin and Hoseok had asked if the cause had anything to do with Y/N, and although it was evident that the trio wanted to deny it, we could all see through them, it had everything to do with her.

It annoys me, to worry about someone I've never met before, I can't put a face on the person who causes such sadness in my home and I've had to endure as my wish to meet her, to see for myself how she's doing keeps increasing.

I want to ask her to get better so that my soulmates can finally rest, I want the smiles back, but I want her well too.

With all the stories that I've heard about her when Jimin and Taehyung would play games with me, how she has a special laugh, how it makes them smile every single time, how amazing she is, how strong she is, she doesn't let the world bring her down, yet they can somehow see vulnerability hidden in her eyes, I feel like I know so much about her, even though I technically don't know her.

Could I help her if we were to meet one day? Could I do something to make her feel better, to make her agree to see Jimin and Hoseok again? They haven't been themselves since she stopped going to their coffee shop and I feel bad, it's obvious that they miss her, but does she miss them too? I want to know so badly.

Is she impacted by my soulmates as much as she seems to impact them? Is she hurting as much as they are? More?

"I'm fine, hyung, I'll just get some shut eye, I haven't slept well last night" Yoongi says and Jin sighs, his brows into a frown before he runs a hand through our sleepy soulmate's hair softly with a nod of the head.

"Alright, we can bring some of the leftovers to work later, let's eat together there, I'll stay with you".

Namjoon purses his lips as he takes in the scene from behind me, his worry so obvious in the way his magic protectively hovers over them, comforting and soothing, something that seems to help them both when they smile at him, then gently pulls me to a seat so I can sit down and eat, the hour going by fast, I need to get ready to head to work soon, being late isn't an option.

A quick look around the table has me noticing everyone looking a little down, everything always serving to remind us of her, that she's not doing well right now, that there's nothing we can do as long as she remains hidden from us.

That's all we know of the current situation, Jimin, Hoseok and I, yet it doesn't seem to cover even half of the truth. The fact that Taehyung seems to know more than our two soft and heartbroken soulmates do, that feels wrong to me.

They've known her first, they're her friends, yet they're kept in the dark, just like me. The others meet up and talk together about her, they share information about her, they get concerned over her, they worry and try to think of ways to help her while us?

What do we do? We wait, we try to comfort ourselves that it can't be that bad, she'll be okay, but we can feel deep down that it's far from the truth.

Y/N.

There's something I haven't told my soulmates, I don't know if I should because I don't know if it's the same person or if it's just another woman with the same name, but that's the name of the one who'll be in charge of me at work.

The one who will guide and train me until I know the ways, until I can manage tasks on my own. Y/N isn't all that common of a name, is it? It doesn't feel like it, I've never met anyone with her name before, so could it really be her?

I wish I could know before going to work so that I could prepare myself, like what do I tell her if it's really the woman who saved Yoongi and Jin? Thank you? Isn't it too late for that? Can I help you? Everyone's worried about you, tell me how to help you? Why would she tell me?

A plate settles in front of me and I look up to see Hoseok smiling at me, his magic fragile but sweet as it wraps around me, a guilty light in his eyes, he doesn't want to ruin this morning for me, I was so happy when I joined them after all, but I can't get mad at them.

I'm just the same as them, I'm scared too. It feels like things are going from bad to terrible, like a ticking bomb that's about to explode, except I don't even know where it's hidden. I'm just going to find out when it does blow up.

If I could get to work already, if I could just walk through the front door and come face to face with her, I would love to get my answers, or at least some of them.

If I were to meet her, if it really is her, then maybe some things would make more sense to me? I wish they do.

Your POV

Something comes to tickle at my soul all of a sudden, but I barely feel anything, the discomfort it brings me barely going through the storm already happening within me.

What I notice more is how the people around me start whispering in excited tones, eyes glancing towards the office's entrance with bright orbs, cheeks blushing in giddiness, something that normally doesn't happen here.

"Is that the new employee? Omo! He's so handsome!". "I know! He could definitely be a model! I bet our collections would sell so much better if he was the one wearing them!". "For real! Such a shame that he'd rather be behind the show".

I sigh and decide to just focus on my work, it's not like whatever is happening right now has anything to do with me. I edit once more the shape of the series of colourful clouds I'm working on when I hear feet walk up to me hesitantly before going still.

"Good morning, I'm Jeon Jungkook, I was directed to you by the manager and erm... I'm aware that I got here at a busy time for the company, but I promise to work hard so that I won't be a dead weight, please guide me well, sunbae!".

I save my work to make sure I don't lose anything and turn my head to stare at the new arrival, a young looking man who's currently bowing at me, his tall body allowing me to see his face just fine as I remain seated at my desk.

I try to search through my brain as to why he could be saying that to me among all of the available people in here when I suddenly remember a conversation I had with the manager a while ago, about how we were about to get a new employee, a promising young man who would follow in my steps, he'd asked me to take him under my wing and train him myself.

Jungkook, was it? I hum and tilt my head a little before taking a sip of the now cold coffee, there's no wasting something that was made by a soulmate, even if it tastes a little weird without the scorching burn on my tongue, the cup one that gets Jungkook's attention as he raises his head at my silence.

"Yes, I think I do remember your arrival being mentioned to me, I'd forgotten that you were supposed to start today. It's nice to meet you Jungkook, my name is Y/N, don't hesitate to come to me if you have any questions, I might not be an amazing teacher but I do know how things work around here, I'll do my best to guide you well" I say as I turn to him with a small bow and his eyes widen before he bows back, much lower than I did.

He looks nervous, it's cute. I smile lightly at the sight and bring my attention to the empty desk besides mine.

"This space was freed for you so you can get settled there for now, take some time to calm down and give me a moment, I'll see what we can have you do on your first day in a little bit".

I don't have time nor do I have the energy to get to know him the way I should as his sunbae, but he is under my responsibility so I can't just leave him to himself, today will be tough, the low thrumming of a headache just pilling in under my skull, the itch that I feel buzzing under my skin in a way that really annoys me.

"Right, thank you, sunbae" he replies, relief on his face before he sits down on the chair next to mine, the proximity feeling wrong, it has my magic grasping at my collar some more, but my mind is too tired to really focus on it as I bring my gaze back to my computer.

Jungkook goes completely out of mind as I start making a basic layout with the different design elements I made, a fantasy kind of visual that should appeal to the younger generations as well as mine, it's both chic and fun, depending on how you insert it in your outfit.

Two hours quickly go by, yet it's too much time for what I've been able to achieve so far, my face into a frown as I move a detail once more when a throat clearing has me out of focus, eyes blinking before I look to my right, confusion when I see a man staring at me.

It takes me a few seconds to remember who it is, something that has me taken aback, how could I forget about him so fast? I must be a lot more tired than what is healthy at this point, my brain is really struggling to process every information it gets.

Jungkook looks very uncomfortable as he stares at me with intimidated eyes and it makes me feel awful, I did tell him that I would give him something to do, he must have felt really awkward waiting without anything to do until now, gosh.

"Jungkook, I'm so sorry, I was completely focused on my task and even forgot about you, I've been pretty out of it recently, let me just adapt one of my layouts for you with a list of tasks and I'll send to you via email, we don't have a clear deadline just yet but I'd say, if you can manage everything by the end of the week, it's going to be good enough, take your time" I tell him before getting on it quickly.

I don't know what to expect from him, I don't know his skills nor how he works so this is going to be good enough for me to get an idea, I can always adjust then, there has to be something he can do that will make him feel useful, not just stupid little tasks that will make him bored after a few minutes.

He looks relieved when he nods, a smile on his lips as he looks excited to finally get to prove himself and I hum softly, I think he's going to have fun with the last task I gave him. I send everything to him and when I see him get a look at the email, I get back to my own stuff, reassured that I've accomplished my role for a while.

Getting back into work is easy but it is also often disturbed by a confused and unsure Jungkook who needs to make sure he's on the right path every thirty minutes, as if him doing something wrong would ruin the whole collection, something I have to reassure him many times - no such thing will happen.

For the eleventh time probably today, I save my work and roll my chair over to his desk to see that, just like last time, he's doing good. Really good even, way more skilled than I was when I first got here.

"This is great, Jungkook, I really don't think you need to worry so much, this looks amazing" I tell him and he looks at me, teeth going to nibble on his bottom teeth, he must hate being that insecure but we all go through that at least once when starting a new job, he really needs to calm down.

"I'm sorry... I just, this is my first day and I'm afraid of messing up, I don't want you all to regret accepting me, this place is big and I'm... small" he mumbles softly, head looking down until I squeeze his shoulder with a sigh.

"I was the same when I first got here, you know? Bo-young, the girl just in front of you, she had to deal with my unsure ass more than once, so much that one day she just cursed at me and told me to woman up. Been best friends ever since that day" I say in a chuckle, one he responds to easily, his laugh a beautiful sound that makes me smile wider until I look up to see Bo-young staring at me with confused eyes.

I stare back at her, wondering why she's looking at me like that but she only furrows her brows at me and motions for me to join her in the break room before saving her work and then leaves her desk behind.

I sigh and give Jungkook a reassuring pat on the shoulder before making my way to the break room where my best friend is waiting for me, my body tired but not enough that I can't make it there without looking frail and broken.

As soon as I close the door behind me, she turns to me and rests her hands on her hips, not quite unhappy, but not quite happy either, she looks really confused and concerned, as if what she just saw happening earlier should've never happened.

"Okay girl, what's up with you and that new guy? You're chuckling? After weeks of looking dead, I see you actually smiling, effortlessly, just like that? Is he... I can think of only one reason as to why you'd turn like that because of him, is he your soulmate?" she asks straight to the point and I freeze, blood draining from my face as I finally make sense of the discomfort that has been following me ever since his arrival.

It was him? He's a soulmate? Another one?

It's so dimmed that I can't even tell if his magic knows of who I am, if it feels the pull towards me, has it been around me all this time? I couldn't say, but now that I know, now that my magic grows aware of who he is, that low thrum of pain immediately gets replaced with the growing burning feeling of my insides being ripped apart and I feel all hope leave me.

No, please no. I'd been doing well so far, staying away from the guys, but I just had to have a soulmate assigned to me at my workplace. Of all things to happen to me, this had to be the one thrown my way.

I lose my balance and lean against the table to avoid falling to the floor, a dizziness taking over my whole being, heart getting stuck in my throat as a wave of fire floods my body, it hurts so damn much and panic shoots up as I feel my collar shake heavily, as if it could burst any moment now.

I'm fucked.

"Y/N?! Y/N what's wrong!" Bo-young exclaims as she reaches my side and I shake my head, a hand reached out to tell her to just give me some time, to let me get through it alone.

With some luck, things are going to calm down, if I could just get a chance to get out of here, but my magic is intent on wanting to reach Jungkook, it is tired of my pushing game, it wants what it needs now.

I wheeze, both hands reaching my neck when the collar suddenly squeezes tightly, my magic now turning desperate and I fall head first to the ground before Bo-young's arms can catch me, my whole body melting from the inside, it hurts so fucking much.

When I start coughing, it feels like sharp daggers sliding against my throat, skin splitting open and when warmth spreads and threatens to choke me from within, I convulse a little until blood splatters all over my arm and the floor, eyes shut tight as tears run down my cheeks to pool under my head.

I'm losing grasp on everything, my body not one I can control anymore, breathing becomes a battle of survival and I'm not sure if I can win this fight, my exhaustion rising up in strength, eager to have me give up.

Bo-young gasps in panic, hands shaking as she slides down next to me, her sobs sounding so far away as she mumbles something about calling an ambulance, but I can't focus on her voice anymore, mind turning fuzzy and blurry, as if I'm being pushed underwater, the surface getting further and further out of reach

But before everything turns black around me, I do get a glimpse of Jungkook's wide eyes, the shock on his face as he takes in the sight, body frozen in place, a few other bodies behind him but none of them looks as clear as he does, the weight of his orbs on me my last consolation before I pass out.