We were very clear with our thoughts when we moved together.... Living together, having all the fun, trying all the weird things, partying hard, getting high on drinks and end up in crazy sex but........

With no commitments and no strings attached.

For me and Kabir, this was the perfect life.... without getting bound emotionally.

Kabir was an IT engineer in a Multinational company and I was a singer. I used to sing in night clubs to support myself in Mumbai. Infact we met in that same club where I worked and in an Instant became sex buddies.

After almost a month, I moved in with him. It was a new chapter of my life. Kabir was not the first man with whom I got physical with and definitely won't be the last.

I was that clear with our relationship.

#######

I had a depressing childhood. My dad was an alcoholic. His raising hand on mom, and their bitter arguments was a daily dose for me and if still not content, beating me with a stick, a belt, I was twelve when he was thrown away out of work because even after warnings, he didn't mend his ways.

My mom had no option left than to resume her profession. She was a dancer in a bar. The day she started earning, my dad became more physical with her.

It went for almost a year and finally my mom took me and left my dad. We moved to Mumbai and my mom got a job. She was a bar dancer so it was normal that she was usually away at nights.

After a few months, a man started visiting our place. He used to live in the same room with mom. He too was very harsh with my mom. I could hear her cries and shrilling voice as if she was torchered and I always wondered why she even live with him.

He treated me like a servant, commanding me to make his drink, get him food and if anything went wrong, would beat me hard.

My life was nothing but hell. I started hating men. They were all similar to me............. Bastards.

When I turned eighteen, I left my mom and moved with one of my friend. She knew I can sing so she got me a job in a club.

It worked for me and I soon became self dependent. I was tall, fair and lean so was always approached by men. They would do anything to please me and to get me to their bed and I started feeling good.

I felt I was the dominating here and they ....weak. So I finally got both........

My satisfaction and salvation.........

I would at first ignore them and then would tease them in a way that they would beg me..... and when they actually did that, I would use them and leave them like trash.

######

It went this way for a few months but soon I observed a change in Kabir. He was always commenting on my dressing sense, telling me to wear this or that. He didn't allow me to invite my friends home, specially boys. He was becoming quiet possessive.

One day I was pissed with his behaviour. I was fighting with him, abusing him and asked what actually has happened to him and he told me that........he loves me.

I was dumb founded. I could believe everything in this world but not this emotion......LOVE.

I have seen how weak one becomes when he is in love.... I couldn't say a word to him.....because I had nothing to say. I went inside and bolt the door. His face was still in front of my eyes and all I could see was...... Pain.

I woke up early and got ready. I had made up my mind about what to do. I packed my bags and went outside...........he was right there, standing in front of the door with that same look........

I took my bag and moved towards the door.

'Where are you going?', he asked me in a low voice.

'I am leaving. I told you, the day I would be bored, I would leave. So.....I am leaving.', I said in a plain voice, with no emotions.

'I told you about my feelings yesterday and you ......you have nothing to say?', his voice was choked.

'Common Kabir! Don't start it again, I told you very clearly that I don't believe in love and relationships and you too agreed.  No commitments, no complications. I don't want all this in my life, so yes I am leaving.......and don't you stop me please.'

I turned back and was about to leave when he asked,'Whatever was there between us, doesn't mean anything to you? Our nights together, our fun time, our sharing every moment with each other.....  .......how would you explain that?'

I looked deep into his eyes so I can convey him very clearly, what I wanted to. I had no sentiments, no feelings, no warmth, no love for any men....... not even him.

I moved a step forward, looking boldly into his eyes and said, ' I don't believe in love Kabir. I have a simple rule, that I follow and will always do ... ... ...

'Its Better to love a man for a while, than to marry him and suffer for a lifetime.'

######

Hey Lovely people!

I know i know, some of you may not agree with this story or this statement but common,... its just a story.

This is the first time that I have written on such thought. Please share your views and if yiu like it...then your vote too.

Byee!! Love you all 😘