Draupadi

My hold on the plate tightened. I clenched my jaw, breathing in a mixture of vexation and irritation. Was it not enough torment for me to welcome the wife of the man I couldn't imagine anyone else with even in my wildest thoughts, to witness her standing proudly next to my husband.

"Do it fast, Panchali" The King persisted "They had a very long and hectic journey and need to rest"

I forced my feet to swivel around but kept my gaze fixed on the ground. To my utter horror I felt him coming even closer, his body almost touching mine. I closed my eyes feeling his hot breath fanning the sensitive skin of my neck making me forget all the logic, reasonings and surroundings.

Gathering all the strength I had, I raised my hand, determined to not look at him. As I was done with the Aarti, it was time to put tilak on his forehead, I wanted it to get over with it as soon as possible.

I hurriedly raised my finger and before I could put the tilak, a rough warm hand grasped my wrist and this time I did look into his eyes.

The same enticing eyes I had first seen in those woods years ago in Panchala, the same selcouth ambers that had stolen my hand and heart at the same time in my Swayamvar, the same melted gold were gazing at me like they were making love through their gaze, exploring and exposing my body and soul in a way that I almost felt naked.

"Careful, Queen" Bending his extremely tall and broad self a little, he purred. With his penetrating gaze still lingering on my eyes, he placed my finger that was almost on his eyes, on his forehead and stepped back.

I stood there nonplussed feeling a wave of heat flushing through my whole body. The Arjun who never used to even look at me when we weren't alone, went ahead and touched me in front of his whole family. It may seem very normal to others but I knew exactly how unusual it was for him to do something like that.

Arjun has changed.

Physically he appeared more alluring, boarder and muscular. He had the kind of beauty that got into my bones and unlike before he now knew what he was and the kind of power his physical appearance had over women folk.

And probably emotionally as well.

In these few moments I understood he became bolder, his each move screamed confidence and authority and—

Stop Krishnaa!

I felt rage pulsing through my veins, rage towards myself for already falling into his trap. How could I forget all the pain and humiliation this man had caused me from the past twelve years and what must he be thinking, seeing me loosing myself in him? That Draupadi had absolutely zero self respect in her.

While everyone was still busy gushing over the new couple I took my leave and stomped out of there.

I had performed my Queenly duty, now I was free to do the duty that I owed to myself.

Third Person

From the moment Arjun stepped in the palace, he barely had the time to breath. All through the day he was busy performing various rituals with Subhadra and the evening went by discussing politics and taking up new responsibilities.

It's not like Arjun didn't want to get involved in such matters, in fact he was more than eager to work and strengthen Khandavprasth border security, to train its soldiers, had already taken the decision to look after those Kingdoms who were yet to form a friendly relation with Khandavprasth.

But before solving anything else Arjun needed to end the inner conflict. He couldn't allow his Krishnaa to live in delusion, delusion of other women suppressing her place in Arjun's heart.

He wanted rather needed her to know how maddening his love for her was. Arjun, despite trying his best to get control over this ferocious feeling towards her that he had thought would be a hindrance in their path of Dharma, failed miserably. He had thought that the separation, his other wives would perhaps make him tame it but he was wrong.

So very wrong.

When he saw her today, he felt exactly the same way he had felt years ago when he had seen in her in those woods, with mud, blood and scratches all over her, about to be attacked by a wild animal. Arjun's lips curled into a soft smile as he remembered the night.

Subhadra who sat beside him in the dining area noticed and asked "Why are you smiling? And you've not touched your food yet"

"Phalgun, You can't imagine the effort I and Panchali took to prepare all these dishes. Now if you leave even a crumb on this plate, I'll make you remember our childhood" Bheem warned making Arjun let out a chuckle

"But you're always there to help me finish all these, aren't you Bhrata?" Arjun side glanced at Nakul with a small smile who didn't even try to hide his gwaff

"Bheem, Phalgun if you two do realise it's Subhadra's first day in Khandavprasth, right?" Kunti looked at her sons seriously, her gaze was sufficient to silence them.

Arjun just then saw Malini entering with a small bowl in her hand and immediately inquired "Where is Krishnaa?"

Arjun's desperate question met with silence of surprise from his family members and looking around realised, how obvious he sounded and as much as he hated, he felt the old familiar sense of discomfort in his gut

"She made the princes fall asleep and went to the Pooja griha to arrange everything for the morning worship" Malini informed with her gaze on the floor "She said no one needs to wait for her as She would directly go to her chamber from there"

"Doesn't she want to have dinner? Is she not alright?" Bheem expressed his concern while Kunti side glanced at Arjun.

The smile Arjun had been forcing till now, vanished. His heart dropped as a faint feeling of vexation swirled inside him, vexation toward himself for still not being able to go to his wife even once.

She already had misunderstood enough, not that he could blame her. His actions had always contradicted his feelings. He had pushed her away from him so much so that it became difficult to bring her back. 

Arjun knew she would be hurt, but to this extend? His other brothers have married again as well but he knew there was no such reaction from her.

But then again, how silly of him to think there was really no difference.

His marriages with Ulupi and Chitrangada had hurt her as well but he would have gotten her forgiveness sooner but the way he and Subhadra got married gave everyone including Krishnaa the impression that he loved Subhadra too much to care about anything or anyone else.

Why on earth did Madhav suggest me that.

But the situation in Dwarka was such they had no other choice. Subhadra getting married to Duryodhan was the last thing Arjun could let happen. Everything happened in such a haste that—

That you forgot about me

Her familiar silky voice accused. Arjun closed his eyes and swallowed the knot that had formed in his throat.

I didn't, I couldn't neither I can ever Krishnaa. To forget you, I first need to forget my own self.

Thank you for reading, Do let me know your thoughts. Don't forget to vote if you like.

Jay Shri Krishnarjun
Arjunaradhika