Well, Harry was in one fucking phat mood this summer.

They should have just left him at the Dursley's.

He says he's not happy there but like fuck he was happy to be here with us.

And we were staying in the coolest house ever.

There's just no pleasing some people.

Dad had to take him to the Ministry due to Harry casting underage magic in front of his fat cousin.

I don't know why everyone was worried. There were still three movies to go. I mean years.

If you ask me, it was just an excuse for Harry to brag about being able to cast a fully corporeal Patronus.

"My stag ran up and down the tunnel and everything!" He said for the billionth time that summer.

Big fucking deal. I made out with Draco Malfoy in a hags dress.

I'm guessing Dumbledore was on some shit that summer, because he made me school prefect.

And apparently all the guys in our house year were stupid dunderheads, as he gave the other one to Hermione.

Guess what? Harry sulked about that one too.

"What do you mean you get to sit in a prefects carriage?" He wailed as we hopped onto the Hogwarts Express. "I can't believe Dumbledore didn't make me a prefect too. This is so unfair."

"Get a life Harry - no one wants to be a fucking prefect." I spat over my shoulder, as I stormed off up the train corridor, keen to see who else had made prefect.

He was laying into me the second I stepped into the prefect carriage.

"They made you a prefect? My god, it must be slim pickings in Gryffindor."

Silver grey eyes glinted maliciously into mine. I felt my stomach flip in excitement.

"Says the guy who uses daddy's gold to get what he wants. How much did he have to pay Dumbledore to give you that pretty little badge then? Will we be expecting to see a brand new shiny turret shoved on the end of the castle upon arrival?"

"Don't talk about things you know nothing about, Weasley." Draco drawled derisively, his eyes trawling my tattered old robes with disgust. "Namely gold."

"Fuck you, Malfoy!"

"Now, now, you don't want me to deduct points from Gryffindor before we've even arrived, do you? You won't make yourself very popular amongst your fellow Gryffindorks."

"Oh very witty, Malfoy," I spat. "I bet you were lying awake all night coming up with that one!"

"Actually," Hermione intervened pompously, "prefects can't deduct points from fellow prefects. Didn't you read the handbook?"

I didn't even know there was a fucking handbook.

"Some of us have lives, Granger," Draco drawled, glancing at her with a look of disgust and sniffing the air as if there was a bad smell.

We were told to patrol the corridors and make sure everyone was behaving themselves.

The second we stepped out of the carriage, Draco literally pounced on a second year Gryffindor boy called Craig and deducted twenty points from him for having a shoe lace undone.

"What the fuck, Malfoy?" I spat, rounding on him as the poor boy looked as though he was going to burst into tears.

"It's a trip hazard, Weasley," Draco explained unapologetically. "And we wouldn't want a Gryffindor to be responsible for any broken bones, would we?"

"Okay, then - if you want to play that fucking game," I sneered at him before turning to Craig, "twenty points to Gryffindor for the other shoe being laced up perfectly!"

"Er... th-thanks?" Craig stammered, looking nervously between Draco and I.

"Thirty points deducted for not speaking properly!" Draco thundered.

"Thirty points added for being polite!" I thundered back.

The poor boy started backing away slowly, before deciding he had gotten to a safe enough distance to turn and run.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor for ru-mmmmmmphh!"

I had clamped my hand over Draco's mouth, preventing him from completing his sentence.

Momentarily surprised, he thrashed about, until he finally wrenched my arm away, freeing his mouth from my hand.

"Christ, Weasley," he growled, panting, his hand still gripping my wrist tightly. "You really can't keep your hands off of me, can you?"

My pulse rate accelerated as our eyes locked, the air seeming to crackle with electricity around us.

"Will you two stop bickering and get a move on! You're blocking the rest of us in!"

Both Draco and I whipped round, startled. Hermione and the other prefects were stood in the carriage doorway, hands on hips and glaring furiously at the both of us.

Oops.

******

I was fucking starving by the time we finished our stupid patrolling and managed to find where Harry was sat sulking.

He was in a carriage with Ginny, Neville and a wacky looking chick that I knew lived nearby with her equally wacky father. Loony or something like that.

Neville had some kind of plant on his lap that looked like a rotten dick and the Loony girl was reading that stupid Quibbler magazine upside down.

Where the fuck Harry finds these freaks to hang around with, I'll never know.

They all said hi, but I refused to acknowledge anyone until I had stolen and eaten one of Harry's chocolate frogs.

I let Hermione explain what a fucking life we now have thanks to Dumbledore hating us enough to make us prefects.

"We can give out punishments if people are misbehaving." I said, finally sated now that I had chocolate inside of me. "I can't wait to get Crabbe and Goyle for something..."

"You're not supposed to abuse your position, Ronnie!" Hermione said sharply, once again trying to ruin my fucking fun.

"Yeah, right, because Malfoy won't abuse it at all," I spat sarcastically, as tiny thrills zipped through my body thinking about my hand on his mouth.

"So you're going to descend to his level?"

"No I'm just going to make sure I get his mates before he gets mine."

"For heaven's sake, Ronnie-"

"I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing," I chortled evilly. "I... must... not... look... like... a... baboon's.... backside..."

That Loony girl laughed so fucking hard that Harry's owl screeched manically in its cage, making Neville jump therefore causing that thing that looked a rotten dick to fall to the floor and explode green puss around the compartment.

"Are you taking the fucking piss?" I roared, frowning at no one in particular as Loony clutched her sides, tears falling from her face as she gasped for air.

"Baboon's... backside!" She choked, holding her ribs; rocking back and forth in her seat, as the rest of us siphoned up that disgusting green puss with our wands.

Then, of course, Draco had to show up on his traditional checking in on Harry visit.

"What?" Harry spat, somewhat aggressively, I thought, considering Draco hadn't even said anything yet.

"Manners, Potter, or I'll have to give you a detention," he drawled sexily. "You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments."

My ears pricked up.

"Yeah," said Harry, not realising how lucky he was, "but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone."

I thought that was rather debatable, but I kept quiet.

"Tell me, how does it feel being second-best to Weasley, Potter?" He asked, his eyes, which were dancing amusedly, darted briefly to mine.

"Shut up, Malfoy," Hermione whinged.

Ugh, why does she have to keep ruining the fucking moment?

"I seem to have touched a nerve," he said, smirking as his eyes roamed disdainfully around the compartment, resting finally on Harry. "Well, just watch yourself, Potter, because I'll be dogging your footsteps in case you step out of line."

"Get out!" Hermione yelled, standing up and slamming the compartment door loudly behind them.

I angrily bit off the head of another chocolate frog, glaring at the door.

If I didn't know better I'd say that Draco was flirting with Harry.

Git.

*****