"Well, the only way to get to Hogwarts is to surely steal my dad's car and fly it." I said logically.

"Shouldn't we wait to see if the gateway unseals itself first and let your parents think of another way to get us there? After all, I fail to see how this our fault." Harry said.

"Don't be daft. Where's the story in that?"

So we flew my dad's car. I was certain we wouldn't get into trouble. After all, this was the difference between being on time for school or being a bit late for school through something that wasn't even our fault.

Both Harry and I squealed with excitement at the thought of everyone's faces when they would see how cool we were.

Sadly though, that never happened, because I smashed the car into a tree.

Oh well.

Mum got fucking livid though. Sent me a Howler in front of the whole school full of verbal abuse - although it meant I had ear witnesses to her threat of violence towards a minor.

Harry got a new fanboy this year. Colin Creevey. The annoying little twonk kept following us around begging him for a signed photograph.

I couldn't understand why he wasn't asking me for one. I mean, I literally crashed a flying car into a fucking tree. What more do I have to do to get noticed? All Harry did was dribble in a cot.

"Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Potter?" Draco drew up, flanked by his usual beefcakes. "Everyone queue up! Harry Potter's giving out signed photos!"

I'd have sniggered if it didn't look like I agreed with anything Draco Malfoy had to say. I mean, it is a bit much.

"No, I'm not," Harry whined. "Shut up, Malfoy."

"You're just jealous," Colin piped up, quite bravely too, I thought. He really must love Harry.

"Jealous?" Draco roared as a crowd gathered round to watch. "Of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special, myself."

"Oh go eat slugs, Malfoy!" I spat, getting irritated by the sight of his smug face.

"I bet you'd like a signed photo, Weasley," he smirked, his silver grey eyes glinting amusedly at me. "It'd be worth more than your family's whole house."

I whipped out my wand, forgetting it was broken. Draco laughed out loud at the sight of it being held together pathetically by Spellotape.

"I'll tell you what, Weasley," he said, tears of laughter rolling down his cheeks. "If you get down on your hands and knees and beg like a dog, I might just toss you a Knut or two. And then maybe you'll be able to afford some decent tape-"

But he didn't get to finish his sentence as I tossed my stupid wand to the side and lunged at him instead, sending him flying to the ground.

"Ronnie - no!" I heard Hermione crying in the background.

Draco's face was a picture of shock, mingled with fear as I drew my fist back, ready to pummel him something rotten.

But sadly, hands grabbed me around the waist as someone hoisted me off of him. Bloody Goyle.

"You see!" Draco spat as he scrambled to his feet, a pink tinge in his normally pale cheeks. "Nothing but a savage dog. You need to be put down."

Fucking twat.

******

It wasn't long before I had yet another encounter with the Slytherin git.

"I'm the new Slytherin Seeker, Weasley," he taunted smugly when I stormed up to him on the pitch for daring to interfere with Harry's training session. "Everyone's just been admiring the brooms my father's bought our team."

I stared, utterly gobsmacked, as the whole Slytherin team showed me their brand spanking new shiny black broomsticks.

"Good, aren't they?" Draco smirked, clocking my face. "But perhaps the Gryffindor team will be able to raise some gold and get new brooms, too. You could raffle off those Cleansweep Fives you Weasley's attempt to fly, I expect a museum would bid for them."

Anger ripped through me as I stepped threateningly towards him. I was pleased to see a flicker of fear in his eyes.

But then Hermione had to ruin the fucking moment.

"At least no one in the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in," she said pompously. "They got in on pure talent."

I closed my eyes in shame. I was fucking dealing with it just fine!

I almost couldn't blame Draco for calling her a filthy little Mudblood.

But I still used the opportunity to pull my wand out (completely forgetting how fucking useless it was.).

Let's just say the next part is not something I want to reminisce about.

I still shudder when I come across slugs amongst the pumpkin patches.

******

So it turned out my best mate was a Parselmouth.

Harry and Hermione were horrified, but personally I thought it gave us an edge.

"There're all just jealous twats," I reassured Harry as everybody gave him the stink eye when we walked into the Great Hall. "No offence but you're hardly on the You-Know-Who level of evil. I mean... look at you."

"What do you mean by that?" He asked looking down at himself.

"If anyone's been trying to open the Chamber of Secrets, it's going to be someone like Malfoy." I smirked as I motioned towards the Slytherin Prince himself, upon passing his table. "Now he looks like someone prone to dabble in a bit of sinful activity."

Unfortunately, Draco chose that very moment to glance up.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer!" He yelled.

"Oh I will, and then I'll pin it to my dartboard to help me improve my aim." I roared back.

"Any excuse to have my face up on your bedroom wall!"

"I don't need an excuse! All I have to do is close my eyes and I see your ugly face smirking back at me!"

"Ronnie, shush...." Harry hissed through gritted teeth, as he looked furtively around at the sea of staring faces, "it almost sounds like you're flirting with him!"

"Pah, he wishes!"

Anyway, it turned out neither Harry nor Draco had opened the Chamber of Secrets.

It was my little sister.

"Huh. Well, I didn't see that one coming." I shrugged, as Harry came back through the Chamber carrying an unconscious Ginny in his arms.

What a year.