I couldn't think straight.

I was overcome with emotions as I stared into nothingness, a dull throbbing starting and hammering inside my skull.

I stared blankly even as pain in my body made it physically hurt.

Dark space.

And I covered in black, thick, foul smelling blood of a Daeva and red blood from my own side which was starting to become a bother as well.

I willed my breathing to turn normal and my body to stop trembling.

The creature had vanished. Finished.

But the blood, destruction and my wounds weren't going anywhere. I couldn't risk going back to my room in the King's wing. Sera and he would be able to smell it on me. And before that, the guards would probably stop me and too much suspicion would rise.

I picked up the sword, avoiding looking at the Ruby and put it in place before gasping for air.

It hurt now that the adrenaline had passed and my fight or flight instinct was turned off. I tried to wipe the blood on my face and neck as much as I could and for the first time didn't curse the dress I was wearing.

During the fight, it had come in the way at times but now, as the full moon's light filtered in, I took up a chance and tore at the ruffles and tulle layers coated in blood.

I quickly wiped over my cheek and parts of my face that had the blood, feeling revolted by it.

The dark color of the thick velvet didn't show the blood as much on my chest either. But I knew it wouldn't work. There was no way.

I'll think about it later.

I exhaled shakily. Now next step was to go clean up and...have some alone time to think.

But where?

I licked my dry lips and looked at the big, round moon and the place came to mind.

My corner.

The one where the lilacs grew and I spent spare time in. Behind the vine covered wall on one side and the alcove like structure, there was a small pond.

It was mostly hidden alongside the bushes and behind the lilac alcove but I'd stumbled upon it during the time I spent there.

That would be perfect.

I hurriedly checked my surroundings, peeking out of the room's lobby and finding the coast clear, so I made my way out.

It was a short distance from here and with only two guards on my way, I easily managed to sneak away. My heart didn't stop thundering in my ears like drumbeats though.

By the time I reached the beautiful alcove, I could feel exhaustion hitting me. I swallowed dryly and with vigilant eyes pushed the vines away and made my way through the thick bushes.

Considering Valeryn's weather conditions, I wasn't expecting a cold chilling breeze. More like a warm, summer one. I was met with something that chilled me enough to raise goosebumps.

Perhaps it was because of tonight's recent ordeal that I was so absent minded.

The scent of lilacs entered my senses and I breathed in deeply in efforts of calming myself.

Soft rustling and my breathing were the only sounds I made as I came face to face with the pound's crystal clear water.

It was around seven meters in diameter and soft ripples were created over the surface whenever the fireflies dipped too low. Low enough to touch the still water.

It looked beautiful.

I was about to taint it.

Bending over, I stared at my illuminated reflection in the water and sighed. Clearing my face of the blood and scrubbing at my neck, my nails, between my fingers, I finally got rid of the sickly feeling a tad bit.

I washed my arms and my legs as well, rubbing at my dress in hopes of retaining perhaps some redeeming quality but to no avail.

My side ached at the position end each time the water washed at the wound.

The water turned murkier every time I washed my blackened skin in it and the lapping of the water made eerie noises.

It wasn't that scary.

I breathed in deeply and exhaled from my mouth before looking at the starlit sky, standing back up.

The night wasn't exactly silent but there was no warzone out here. Although I'm aware no one heard what happened in the non-existent room, it still didn't make me feel any better.

The darkness of the night was at war though.

At war with the twinkling stars. And the beautiful round ball of illuminating bright light. They battled and the clouds didn't know what side to take.

They passed over the moon in a blink as if unable to obstruct it for long but bent to the will of the darkness chasing them.

I squinted, running my fingers over the wound with a feather light touch and saw that the bleeding had stopped, but the cut wasn't healed exactly. Gaping open with red tender flesh and sensitive to pain area surrounding it, it was far from healed.

The last time it had been a full moon, I'd been in my room when Arion had come in and the night had ended with Alpha's promising howl.

How times change.

I softly turned around and made my way back to the front of my little corner. I wasn't ready to return to my rooms though. I slowly sat down, feeling the dew on the grass seep into the dress and the bare skin of my legs and hands dampening as I leaned on my hands, legs outstretched.

I softly exhaled, almost afraid to disturb the natural night routine.

An owl hooted and it sent my heart into override.

I knew what I wanted right now. I wanted to let it all out. I wanted to freely express myself and my doubts and the confusion and the pain. I wanted to cry out, I wanted to scream, I wanted to unleash the pent up anger and fear.

The one thing I so desperately sought though was comfort.

I didn't have anyone for that.

The first person who came to mind was Sera but something stopped me. Maybe it was the fact that despite how she treated me, she was half the source of these emotions. It wouldn't help me unless she was answering something.

Micah was not on the list for now either.

Arion.....no. That didn't even occur to me. No matter what we shared, for him I was something special he owned.

Sometimes loneliness is scary.

As I sat there, under the calling of moon listening to random chirping sounds and rustling at times.....I felt a familiar tempest stirring within me.

Starting from the day Lucien ruined my escape to right now, it was hard to comprehend that so much had happened. That so much time had passed.

What would my life be like right now if Lucien hadn't found me that night? I didn't regret meeting any of the people I did but...still the image of a happier and peaceful life I'd conjured up flashed before my eyes.

While six months ago they would had been more than appealing, now they were unsettling.

For me to be safe and hidden away in a corner of the world.

I felt weak. And tired. I felt the back of my eyes burn but I pushed the tears back.

I remembered my talk with Queen Kesla.

"You have to try. Really try."

She never answered me for what.

"It's impossible for one to interfere when the strings that were tangled so long ago, broken unwillingly, have a chance to tie the knots again. For the unknown to venture into the darkest depths of Lucifer's gates and back. Without the anchors of the one intended, all for them to remain safe."

Till date that makes no sense to me but I can't forget it either. I let out a bitter chuckle that reverberated in the echoing silence.

"It won't get easier."

Ah, that warning. That I should've taken much more seriously.

Could she be the one out to kill me?

I pondered over the thought for a minute but then rustling from the bushes behind me made my attention snap. Despite my drowsy state, I was up and out with my Silern dagger within a second.

I was so consumed in my own drowning emotions that it took me a minute but then a familiar sage and wood scent filled my senses, overpowering the lilac.

What emerged, made me slacken and exhale in relief, dropping to the ground. That intimidating aura for now seemed like it was fickle in front of me.

My heart that was ricocheting within my chest slowed down to a normal rate as I recognized the eyes of molten gold peering at me. He was taller than me when I sat like this. I noticed his maw was clamping onto something. Ebony fur shone alluringly while his tail swished behind him.

I stared at him and then looked back at it as he tilted his head at me. As if urging me to inspect further.

I reached out, taking the now freed dress from Alpha and when the moon's gracious light illuminated the red dress in my hands, I gasped softly.

With confusion and gratefulness in my eyes, I looked at him.

The dress was of the apt style for my status and the Kingdom's fabric. A pretty red, it was a great replacement. No one would even notice anything amiss. I licked my lips, glancing back at him uncertainly when he made a small noise. If he could speak, I'm sure he would tell me to put it on.

Because his next action was to turn around and sit, paws over his eyes. It was so amusing and adorable that I softly laughed.

Alpha's ears perked up but like a gentleman, he didn't turn around as if telling me that he had now passed my test and I should hurry up.

With a slight smile, I watched his tail swishing back and forth on the ground and then slowly I slipped off the ruined dress.

I hissed in pain at the movement and Alpha's tail stopped swishing until I verbally reassured him.

"Its okay."

He returned to the swishing pattern. I tore a piece of the black velvet that was still clean and wrapped it around my wound as best as I could, hissing and cringing which made Alpha tense each time.

With some slight struggle, I eventually managed to put on the red dress which was surprisingly also very comfortable.

"I'm done now." I softly informed and he stood up, turning around to face me.

I slowly sat down, keeping eye contact and so in love with his beautiful eyes.

When I comfortably settled, Alpha came closer. I observed silently just like him and then hesitantly brought my hand up.

I'd always wanted to touch him. Feel that fur, know the true man in this animal form.

When I finally touched him; stroking his head and that soft ebony fur, Alpha closed his eyes and made a noise of approval that brought me immense happiness. Like a string pulled taunt.

I gulped tightly, emotion clogging up my throat.

I haven't felt as safe as I do with Alpha around anyone except perhaps my parents and Micah.

It was a dangerous feeling.

I kept stroking and he slowly sat down as well. I rubbed under his ear and my lower lip quivered. As if sensing this, he opened his eyes and looked into my jade ones coated in a veil of liquid.

I blinked furiously as tears kept gathering.

I wanted comfort.

Before I knew it, I was on my knees and he was nuzzling my neck, licking my cheek with so much affection that it melted something inside of me. 

His wet, soft tongue licked the spot on my forearm- in that animal way of his - that bore his crescent shaped bite-marks and I could tell it didn't settle well with him but it was his mark and it was on me. His head tilted to the side in innocence as his golden glowing eyes locked onto mine and he licked the spot again, nuzzling my neck afterwards.

It broke that dam.

And then the first sob left my throat.

Would someone hear me? 

Something told me the magic that did so much could spear me a few moments to break down.

Alpha whimpered, like he could feel my pain. This monster of a powerful beast whimpered as he nudged me with his snout. It only made me weaker though. He rubbed his snout against my face.

Tears spilled from my cheeks and I felt like I couldn't breathe as I stared into his glowing eyes. Alpha pawed at me, licking the tears away as they kept coming, telling me 'It's okay but I don't like it.'

Perhaps why I was crying my heart out in front of Alpha was because he couldn't speak. At least not in this form. And all he'd done so far was stand by my side in times of need. I felt cared for. 

Just for a while, I made myself believe there was nothing he wanted from me.

My body shook with the force of sobs wracking through my body and willing me to let go for once. To cry out and the eyes I didn't think could hold so much, just kept on burning and the tears of salt rolled down my cheeks. I wrapped my arms around his furry, thick neck and hugged him close. Trying to muffle my sobs as I wet his fur but Alpha put his face into my hair, inhaling and rubbing softly.

That animal within him that had torn down many for my sake in the past was now my rock yet soft as cotton.

He nipped softly at my ear, then my jaw making me whimper in return. It felt natural to let him do this. My heart drummed in tandem to my sobs but his presence and that comforting scent made me thank god for the one thing that was good in my life. He made me feel better even as I screamed in frustration and thrashed out angry tears.

Exhaustion hit me like a thousand bricks as I gulped in air in between my wretched crying.

I finally broke down.

And all Alpha did was affectionately sit besides me, urging me to make myself comfortable as I bared my weakest parts to him. I cried out, in pain and in confusion. In fear and agony.

In gratefulness of the acceptance.

Resting my head on his toned but soft belly as he curled himself around me, providing me unspoken warmth both mentally and physically, Alpha made comforting noises as he kept licking my cheeks and sniffing my neck.

He was strong and he made me vulnerable. Made me lean on him and feel guilty about it but I was helpless with the way my heart refused to let go of the string pulling me towards him.

His calming scent enveloped me.

I cried until I couldn't make sense of anything, my wails reaching up to the moon in the night that had turned silent.

No chirping, no fireflies, no beauty to admire but the melancholy seeping in from every pore of my being, haunting me endlessly.

And now this little alcove.

Alpha nuzzled his faze besides mine, tail rubbing over my legs and slowly, amidst all the weeping, I fell asleep to dreams of care and love and nightmares of demons out for my blood.

•○•

I woke up to someone softly caressing my hair, making me feel all sorts of fuzzy inside.

There was no sage and wood scent surrounding me and without opening my eyes, I knew Alpha wasn't there anymore and it didn't surprise me.

For a split second, I wondered who found me here as my groggy self slowly clambered back to the world of the living.

The hand in my hair, rubbing over my neck tentatively left a heated trail behind and then feather-light touch of knuckles ghosted over my cheeks. 

I recognized the gesture and I recognized the person.

My eyes opened to stare into the stormy-sea clearer that most days kind of eyes, as if the grayed sea had gotten a break.

A soft sigh involuntarily escaped my lips and an even softer smile curled at Arion's lips as he looked down at me. The sight made butterflies take flight inside my belly. 

I went to sleep on Alpha's chest and woke up in Arion's lap.

I almost chuckled bitterly.

"Morning, Cara."

I blinked, still unsure it was what it was and my mind wasn't playing any tricks on me. Disorientated, I replied in a raspy tone, "Morning."

He looked away and I saw the shape of his throat, that strong chin, the Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. Then I blinked, shifting slightly on his lap as trepidation climbed its way inside me.

He silently watched me and played with the ends of my braid. For a frightening second, I worried if there was unpleasant dark blood mixed with my onyx hair but he gave no such indication so I relaxed.

I drew my eyes away from him to the morning sight of the brightly shining sun, fluttering across my legs but the rest was sheltered by the lilac scented alcove. With the flowers in full-bloom unlike last night, it looked a different sight than the one at night. It was cooler in this shade. Birds chirped and flew about, the sky clear. Not even for a second did Arion take his eyes off of me though.

Everything moved on as if I hadn't gone through anything the past few hours.

Perfectly normal.

"Wha...." I closed my eyes and let out a breath. "How did you find me?" My voice was still a bit scratchy after how much I'd cried last night and my eyes hurt.

He hummed, staring at me as I looked up with those sea-grey eyes of his. "We had our lesson today but no one could find you. I remembered you liked coming here so I came to check, only to find you sleeping on the grass curled up." He sounded amused as he rose a brow at me.

My lips parted but nothing came out. I didn't even know Arion was aware of my lilac-spot. Did the King of Valeryn even have time to spare to look for someone like me? Apparently, yes.

And our lesson had been the last thing on my mind after yesterday.

I fumbled, slowly coming to, "Right. Sorry." I leaned up on my elbows, gritting my teeth and exhaling slowly as the pain flared in my side again. I tried keeping it off my face as much as I could but a groan escaped and I slowly sat up, no longer on his lap.

His eyes narrowed as he observed me and I deftly avoided his gaze. "Why were you here?"

I ran a hand over my loosened braid and down my creased red dress that confirmed Alpha hadn't been a dream and neither had the Daeva who intended to kill me.

"I just...wanted to be alone, I suppose. In the nature." I shrugged non-committal and he scoffed.

"You were crying."

My eyes snapped to his and he rose a brow. I licked my lips and his eyes followed the movement, making my cheeks heat up. I didn't give him a reply and parted my lips to let a breath ease out.

His intense gaze made desire unfurl within me and I bit on the inside of my cheek. His next words left me breathless.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?" Low, huskier and and full of desire, his voice made my heart skip a beat. His stormy grey eyes were trained on my lips and turned a shade darker as he leaned closer to me, his breath fanning my face. "Because I don't think I can stop myself anymore."

I responded with a lie, "I'd push you away."

He chuckled, raising his eyes to mine. "Let's test that theory then, hm?" Grey eyes full of intent, muscles taunt and amusement dancing in his eyes.

Before I knew it, his strong hand was wrapped around the back of my neck, tilting up my face and establishing dominance while his touch seared me.

And then the most amazing feeling coursed through me as his lips met mine in a devastating kiss, sucking the breath out of me as he kissed me with a passion I never imagined he could exude. 

I froze for a moment, pure longing bathing me in its ill intent.

And then I stopped defying what felt second nature and kissed him back.

•○•

AN~

That was one heck of a chapter hm?

Do we like Alpha? And the truth of how Cara felt crying in front of him, letting go just for once but waking up in Arion's lap?

Oh and well...of course, I mean. THE KISS! The first kiss shared by any two main characters in this book, ah! I thought I'd grace you guys with one kiss at least before the book ended quite uh...well, that's a secret haha.

And I believe this was the longest chapter so far with 3.6K words, heh. And the most emotional too.

Hope you enjoyed? Anyways, please vote, comment and thanks for all the support! Means a lot like always! We got four more chapters and Epilogue left yay!! It's gonna turn intense now. Hehe. 

And please, you silent readers, help me achieve new heights and vote on all the chapters, it would only take a minute! Love you guys nevertheless!

Stay safe and till next time then!

~Skyler