the date is nice. the gardens are beautiful, and hoseok is definitely not nervous. he totally can't feel yoongi's breath against his shoulder, feel his heartbeat against his arm, or feel the warmth that radiates off of his body from the sheer proximity. yoongi's lips are not full and pouty or anything, not smooth due to incessant usage of minty nivea lip balm, and hoseok surely does not want to kiss him.

how long have they been dating for? two months? since november, right? that makes it four months, that means hoseok should be able to freely kiss him without feeling too nervous or anxious, right? theoretically, yoongi seems okay and a—

"the stars are beautiful." yoongi cuts him off, head shifting slightly to look up at hoseok. his head is propped on hoseok's shoulder, arms loosely wrapped around his waist, the scarf sliding down his face to reveal a gummy grin and a red nose. "...but the sun outshines them all."

hoseok's face winces upon the words, and it sends yoongi into a laughing fit, curling his body further into the car seat as his body presses into the carseat, face nuzzling itself into the crook of hoseok's neck. "that was so amazingly cheesy, oh my god, yoongi."

"cheesier than the 500 string cheese you just ate?"

"much," hoseok quips, nose scrunching playfully. god, god he's so cute, hoseok internally wails as yoongi literally peeks out to peer closely at him. his bones stop working, body slumping further into the back car seat until he's face to face with yoongi, his eyes resting on yoongi's crinkled eyes. "i think you're going to be even cheesier than me, at this rate."

"i learn from the best," yoongi winks, a hand reaching up to tug down his scarf, tucking it beneath his chin. hoseok's eyes trail back down to yoongi's pink pouty lips, and with every second that passes by, he feels his resolution crumbling down on him.

"can i—"

yoongi doesn't wait for him to respond, an arm pushing down on the seat as he hovers over hoseok momentarily to kiss him, warm lips slotting between hoseok's own.

》》

"...why are you wearing a turtleneck when it's hot as hell outside?" jimin comments in a thoughtful tone, head cocked to the side. he leans against the tree, teeth nipping on his bottom lip as he eyes yoongi suspiciously.

"hot is subjective," yoongi quips casually, lips pursed together. his brown orbs lift up to meet hoseok's, and hoseok himself make an effort to hide his snickering.

unfortunately, the action catches jimin's attention, whose eyes redirect themselves to hoseok's face, before slowly trailing down to his neck. instinctively, hoseok's body curls inwards, throat clearing awkwardly. "i think it's a little breezy too, yoongi."

jimin blinks repeatedly, before snorting as he rolls his eyes. "y'all aren't slick. if you wanted to hide your hickies, you should've made it less obvious."

namjoon's head immediately shoots up, eyes wide. "wait...you both...."

"they're dating, what did you expect?" jimin nudges him playfully, before turning to yoongi with a grin on his face. "they aren't too bad, are they?"

bad is an understatement, hoseok cackles inwardly, attempting to keep his face straight. "i, uh, think i should head to class early—you shouldn't make assumptions about things you don't know about." he stands abruptly, arms hugging his backpack defensively, chin propped on top in a poor attempt to cover his neck.

yoongi capitalizes on the idea, standing up just as quickly with his head held high. "i'll walk you to class, hoseok."

"you can't just run away after being called out!" jimin complains, his eyebrows knitted together.

a smug smile crossing his face, yoongi shrugs as he strides over to hoseok's side, head tilting to the side. "i am platonically walking my boyfriend to class, as most boyfriends do."

"platonically." comes a snort from jimin, while namjoon rolls his eyes.

hoseok winks coyly at the two, before turning around to swing his backpack backwards. arms freed, he subtlety brushes his hand against yoongi's, trying his best to maintain his smile.

ignoring the gagging noises from behind them, yoongi's fingers weave with his in a low hum, swinging their arms gently. "jung hoseok, you are the fucking devil," he states calmly, lips pressed together and eyebrows furrowed downwards.

"it—okay, i admit, i could've been nicer—"

"i saw taehyung when i walked back home, and you know what he said? 'wow, hyung, i really like that tattoo on your neck! do you think i could get it at the jung shop too?' with this shitty grin on his face." yoongi huffs, elbowing hoseok's side in disdain.

unable to contain his laughter, hoseok cackles quietly, his hand squeezing yoongi's a little tighter. "i'm surprised seokjin didn't catch on."

yoongi groans quietly, shutting his eyes for a brief moment. "oh my god, you had no idea—i was wearing those big hoodies, but since they're big, they hang low, right? so i used a binder clip to pinch the back and he gave me a stare for the longest time."

"i'm sorry, hyung—should i make it up with another kiss on your neck?" hoseok gives him a cheeky grin.

the blonde male stops in his movements to give hoseok a playful glare, leaning in to murmur quietly against hoseok's ear. "you do that, jung, and people are gonna wonder if you got in a fight with a tentacle monster or something. i played nice, but i can be mean, too."

the warmth of yoongi's breath sends shivers against hoseok's skin, but nonetheless, he doesn't back down to a challenge. "what is this, some tentacle hentai? i mean..." hoseok trails off slowly, "if that's your kink, hyung, then i'm not one to judge."

"this was not supposed to go this way," yoongi groans quietly, snatching his hand away from hoseok.

a delighted laugh bubbles up inside hoseok as he watches the older male speed up his pace; running up to the older male, he wraps his arms tightly around yoongi's waist, face nuzzling into his neck. "don't be mad, yoongi-chi!"

"shut up."

"my cute! ass! yoongi-poongi! my adorable mint boy—"

"shut up, hoseok."

"my darling cactus boy, my hot cs boyfriend, my—"

his boyfriend cranes his head to press a quick kiss on hoseok's head, cracking a small smile. "now will you shut up for once, seokseok?"

yoongi looks at him with the stars in his eyes and so much affection and adoration that hoseok's knees go weak and his heart beats faster than a marathon runner at the olympics, and he swears he's so close to dropping that stupid L word that he shouldn, but he's so sure of himself that he just really wants to blurt out i love you so much, hyung.

》》

B☆NGT☆N SQU☆D

JE0N
yugyeom just asked me who's the mom of the group
he says that his is jackson

T
it's seokjin

jihuahua
no seokjin hyungs obviously DAD material

T
no??? seokjin is more like the soccer mom friend??? he has a MOM CAR

SKJN_3000
excuse ME don't u insult my car

JE0N
he seems like a DAD-dy material : )

jihuahua
that's nasty but i'll take that as a vote for dad

T
@Min Yoongi @Jung Hoseok @Kim Namjoon back me up

Hosucc
uhhhh ngl this is hard

SKJN_3000
it rly isnt

Yoongogo power rangers
mom.

SKJN_3000
Listen Up You Ungrateful Prick
You Need To

domestically challenged
uh

SKJN_3000
Watch Yourself Bc I'm a Great Friend That Doesn't Deserve this Treatment

domestically challenged
i think he's both
a dad and a mom
a dom

T
wait what

jihuahua
did he just

domestically challenged
I have now realized my mistake.

JE0N
ICB HE CALLED SEOKJIN A DOM

domestically challenged
please Stop

SKJN_3000
i mean ,,, i'm not complaining....

Jung Hoseok has changed Kim Seokjin's name to dom.

"do you think like, namjoon has a thing for seokjin?" taehyung questions thoughtfully, his head cocks to the side.

hoseok exchanges looks with yoongi, who coolly sips his coffee with a blank face. he arches an eyebrow at hoseok, who shrugs because technically, they're supposed to be playing secret-keepers for namjin, since everything's so unsure.

"no way, seokjin's standards are way too high to date namjoon. that's like stepping backwards, and kim seokjin never steps backwards."

yoongi does the min-yoongi-face where he pressed his lips together tightly and looks to the side, like the ":[" emoji. hoseok opens his mouth to object, but gets cut off but jeongguk.

"i don't know, i mean aside from the fact that namjoon-hyung's domestically challenged, i think he's a nice boyfriend material." he piped up enthusiastically. "i could see seokjin datin' namjoon for that reason."

hoseok nods thoughtfully in agreement, while jimin scrunches his eyebrows in disdain. "no way, i don't think it's happening. seokjin has this long criteria of potential boyfriends, and namjoon fits more on the blacklist side. besides, we're in the same friend group. isn't that a lowkey rule that you don't date inside the same friend group?"

there's an awkward pause of silence, as yoongi stares at jeongguk and taehyung, taehyung stares at the floor, jeongguk stares at jimin, jimin glances at hoseok and yoongi, and hoseok does not know what to say to break the ice.

"what are they, anyways?" jeongguk asks, head cocked to the side, looking expectantly(?) at yoongi.

( yoongi looks panickedly at hoseok! hoseok has no idea how to respond! yoongi tilts his head to the side and quirks the corner of his lips downwards! hoseok looks back and forth in despair! )

"um—i think. they're very good friends." he forces out in a mumble, shoulders shrugging lightly.

B☆NGT☆N SQU☆D

Hosucc
has anyone seen john mayer's new song?

dom
isn't he that old guy that sang country songs

T
r u talking abt that one meme video

"you guys should watch it." hoseok chirps up quickly, watching as the others check the group chat. he averts his gaze back to yoongi, whose lips shape into a round "o" to sigh out blissfully. catching hoseok's gaze, the older male gives him a sheepish grin, before playfully blowing him a kiss.

smilingly bashfully, hoseok pretends to grab the heart and press it against his chest, like some lovestruck—

"can you not flirt when we're around?" comes jeongguk's complaint, eyebrows knitted together in annoyance. "it was like, cute when you guys were dating, but we are in the same friendship circle and all this cheesiness makes me emo to be single," he sighs in exasperation, body slumping down on the couch.

jimin snickers quietly, and hoseok has to bite his inner cheek to keep himself from melting to the ground in embarrassment. the orange-haired boy turns his attention to taehyung, arm propped on the couch as his head rests against the palm of his hand. "it's okay, if they're being nasty and cheesy, you just gotta combat it with your own! isn't that right, tae?" he draws our coyly, batting his eyelashes with a laugh.

jeongguk arches his eyebrow as yoongi seems to blank out, while taehyung stutters out a laugh. "y-yeah, sweetiepoo-honey-pops, gotta go even further!"

"even we don't go that far—" hoseok wrinkles his nose.

"glad you agree, my lovely tae-tae baby boo," he cackles, collapsing himself into a ball. "shit, this is actually kinda fun—sucks to suck, hoseok, we're gonna be so cheesy that Kraft mac n' cheese is gonna use us in their new and improved formula."

》》

"okay, so, according to taehyung...jimin's been calling him with an onslaught of various pet names ever since, because it annoys hoseok, and it amuses him, and taehyung reciprocates but it's putting him further in a crisis." jeongguk reports in a serious tone, round eyes gazing at yoongi earnestly.

"...i still don't get how i'm supposed to help taehyung," yoongi purses his lips, neck resting against the couch of his apartment.

"according to tae, we need you to sway either seokjin hyung or hoseok hyung into being supportive of their decisions, that's all." jeongguk explains, body wriggling into the older male. his phone is propped against the top of the sofa, scrolling through the text messages idly.

yoongi sucks in a breath, teeth peeking out as he does so. "seokjin's been on my ass lately, so he's outta the picture."

"spicy, you two have been up to some nasty shit, haven't you?" jeongguk wiggles his eyebrows, shoulders playfully rubbing against yoongi's.

"do you not have a conscious?"

"this is a safe space, hyung!" jeongguk chides playfully, his eyes crinkling up. "but i was kidding, i don't wanna know what you two do. the main point is, tae doesn't know what to do."

"well...if he really likes jimin," yoongi starts off slowly, leaning in to mumble his thoughts.

the door bursts open and yoongi scrambles away, alarmed to see hoseok dangling a set of keys with a carton of eggs. "...i hope i'm not interrupting anything. seokjin left his keys at our place, so i'm...here."

there's an awkward pause of silence, as yoongi shifts his gaze from hoseok to jeongguk, before clearing his throat. "it's okay, we were talking about—anime—"

hoseok blinks. "i didn't pin you for an anime fan."

yoongi emits a dry laugh, eyes crinkling up. "i don't, but i've really been getting into bakugan hero academia."

a look of pain crosses over jeongguk, the youngest inhaling slowly, before he nods his head animatedly. "yeah, hyung, you should really get into it! here—" his hands darts over to his phone, quickly exiting the messages to go on search up an anime instead.

"i'm not into that weeaboo life, sorry to disappoint," hoseok mock winces, going over to the fridge. if he thinks something's suspicious, he sure doesn't show signs of it, and yoongi can't feel a little guilty as he exhales a small sigh of relief.

"excuse me," jeongguk huffs out, clearly offended. "i am not a weeb if i show attention towards 2D anime boys that actually deserve it, i'll have you know that hinata is the most precious bean that's worthy of—"

hoseok stares at yoongi as if he's looking into a camera in The Office, eyes rolling in fake annoyance, and yoongi can't help but crack a grin, mouthing back 'you deserve it'.

scrunching his face, hoseok shoots yoongi a middle finger, before turning to jeongguk. "i'll make fried rice if you shut up."

"...deal."

》》

"you know—i still think something's clearly up."

"what?"

"like, yoongi and jeongguk? they've been super cozy, and i mean, jeongguk being sketchy is nothing weird, but yoongi? something's up." jimin furrows his eyebrows, the tip of his pen repeatedly tapping against his teeth.

"i'm sure nothing's up," hoseok responds calmly, scrolling back and forth on amazon for the nth time. he's supposed to find something for yoongi's birthday soon, but it's hard when yoongi doesn't even like celebrating his birthday.

("okay, here me out—free gifts, cake, and dinner. how better can that get?"

"that's so burdensome, i'd rather just chill at home for like, a day in the life. when you go out, you have to put effort to look good, and i'm not about that life.")

"i bet they're out to get me," jimin moans dramatically, arms spread out across the study room's table as he buries his head into his laptop. "this is revenge for being all cheesy with tae, isn't it?"

snickering quietly, hoseok shrugs innocently. "at last, someone's doing god's work."

head snapping up, jimin exhales loudly, grabbing his phone. "you know what? fight fire with fire, i'm gonna blow up this chat. literally."

"what do you mean, litera—"

hoseok's phone vibrates at an alarming rate, and he can't help but gape at the 20+ notifications flooding in from the groupchat.

jihuahua to B☆NGT☆N SQU☆D
taebae i'm so bored

jihuahua to B☆NGT☆N SQU☆D
@Kim Taehyung i miss you baby boo : (

jihuahua to B☆NGT☆N SQU☆D
where my sugar pop cutie pie angel cake buttercup at DX

jihuahua to B☆NGT☆N SQU☆D
i miss my sunshine soft tofu puppy : (((

"i'm going to 'accidentally' call you when we're having sex one day, jimin." hoseok says in seriousness, staring straight at the orange-haired male.

the younger recoils in disgust, clutching his chest protectively. "you wouldn't."

"i'll send you my nudes right now, jimin, i'm gonna scar you for life," hoseok cackles, standing up to leave.

jimin casts him a scathing look, flipping him off. "i already go blind every time i see yoongi's neck. poor boy, you better wear a mouth guard or invest in some kind of concealer, cause you apparently suck at this."

"you're right, i do suck at this," hoseok winks with a smug grin, much to jimin's horror.

"oh my god—yeah, please leave, and never come back, i will never sin again oh my g o d —"

blowing him a kiss, hoseok exits the study room quietly, turning around the corner to head towards the bathroom. yoongi hasn't texted him all morning—which is fine, the older male is probably busy with his final projects and all, and hoseok respects that. he can't help but open up his messages nonetheless, nipping his bottom lip when he refreshes the app. no notifications show up (what's new, hoseok?)

he's about to push open the door when a hint of blonde catches his eye across the room, proceeding to retract his steps. there yoongi is, eyebrows knit together in frustration, arm propped up as he talks to jeongguk across the table. the younger male sips from an iced coffee identical to yoongi's playfully swatting his boyfriend with a wry grin.

and for some reason, hoseok can't help but feel something different—it's not jealousy (what kind of friend would he b e), but more of...disappointment.

》》

"i am going to kill park jimin," comes yoongi's seething voice from down the hall. here's not in sight, but it's a cue for seokjin, hoseok, and namjoon to scramble up from the floor, ears perked up in interest. it's a warm spring friday, and what better way to cool off by leaving the door open and playing a heated game of uno?

"wonder what the—" namjoon pauses, before grinning slowly, "tea is about." he puffs his chest out pridefully, putting down a red four.

seokjin stares at him, almost unblinking as he slaps down a red reverse. "i don't think that's something to be proud of, joon."

"you're just jealous that you're uncultured—"

"HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO GIFT ME THIS, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT," yoongi squawks, and hoseok looks up to see a box flying towards him. eyes wide, he yelps as he scrambles to the side, heaving heavily.

the box lands in the middle of the deck of uno cards, sending the cards spraying across the floor. hoseok, namjoon, and seokjin's eyes draw towards the label, and there's a moment of silence as the box of trojan xs condoms sit happily in the middle of their circle. on the front is a bright pink sticky note, with neatly printed writing: PRACTICE SAFE SEX XOXO PJM. seokjin's eyes slowly trail up, to glance back and forth between hoseok and yoongi, realization slowly crossing his face as his mouth slowly drops down in shock.

"i thought you were alone." yoongi accuses weakly, his eyes screaming SOS at hoseok.

"i live here." namjoon points out, unhelpfully.

"and i'm both of their best friends," seokjin adds quickly, his lips pressed together.

....

"okay, listen, nothing is going on—"

"we are holy children of the church—"

"i'm saving myself until marriage," hoseok pipes up enthusiastically, earning a snort from seokjin.

namjoon pretends to be uninterested in the conversation, turning his attention towards the scattered cards instead. "i had the least amount of cards, so i won. uno."

seokjin squints at yoongi, before shrugging slowly and relaxing his shoulders. "you both are grown adults, so i mean—not my business." he informs matter-of-factly, plucking the box from the pile and setting it to the side.

hoseok arches an eyebrow, eyes darting over to meet yoongi's. is he for real, yoongi's eyes blinks repeatedly, confused. i don't know, hoseok's lips press together in a tight line.

"thank you, hyung, i'm honored to have your blessings to bust a nut," yoongi announces with a sheepish smile.

"what do you mean blessings—"

"i will inform you when we are about to engage in sodomy, just so—"

"—this isn't what i meant, i take it back—"

"—so you can sleep at ease, knowing that precisely at the moment, me and hoseok are—"

yoongi barely has a chance to finish his words before seokjin throws the box back at him, huffing loudly. "i don't care! don't involve me in your kinky shenanigans!" he huffs out, before planting himself on the floor, limbs spread out to anchor himself down. "in fact, i'm gonna stay here forever, so that you two can never do the nasties. hah."

hoseok grins, leaning down to wink at seokjin. "i mean, if that's what you're into, hyung—"

"no—"

yoongi catches on quickly, clicking his tongue. "damn, joon, you got a lot on your hands; have fun with that."

stifling his laughter, namjoon turns to glance at seokjin, dimples peeking out from the mischievous smile. "nothing that i can't handle, we've been through far worse."

"wait, what do you mean, worse—"

》》

"i'm so, so sorry i'm late," hoseok pants, cheeks flushed as he slides into the car, backpack shoved into the backseats as he hurried to buckle his seatbelt.

yoongi flashes him a warm smile, leaning over to press a quick kiss on his lips. "s'fine, you're helping me apartment hunting and that's doing me a huge favor already."

"realistically speaking, would i ever say no to hanging out with my boyfriend?"

"touché. can you set up the gps for me? address is in the search history." yoongi hums out, elbow nudging his phone over to hoseok.

the younger does as he's asked, before exiting the app to change the music, something a little stupid just to get yoongi annoyed and playfully scowl at him like a cute cat.

[SMS]
jeongguk hyung!!!!
1:12 PM

[SMS]
jeongguk i have to tell you smth, i can't hold it in any longer.
1:12 PM

[SMS]
jeongguk when are you free?
1:12 PM

hoseok doesn't want to jump to conclusions or think anything stupid, but his stomach still knots and he loses his enthusiasm to mess around with the older male, instead opening up the maps app and handing the phone back to yoongi. "here."

"thanks, seokseok," the blonde beams, keeping one hand on the steering wheel as he attaches his phone back to the holster.

and he could say something—yoongi probably has a logical explanation for all of this, why he's spending all his time with jeongguk and responding inconsistently to hoseok. but his birthday is coming up soon, and the last thing hoseok wants to do is blow up and seem jealous, giving off bad vibes and ruining the mood. so he nods, not saying much besides knocking his head against the window and watching outside.

"...are you okay?"

"what?"

"is there something on your mind, hoseok?" yoongi asks quietly. he keeps his gaze ahead, glancing back at his phone every once in awhile, keeping quiet other than his first few words.

"nah, everything's fi—"

"is it because i'm moving to another city?"

the question catches him off guard, and hoseok tears his eyes away from the window to look at yoongi instead. "no—i mean, that's expected, isn't it?"

"it doesn't mean you can't be sad about it—i mean, i am." yoongi murmurs out, fingers drumming on the steering wheel.

"you are?"

"why wouldn't i be?" the older male laughs quietly, quirking an eyebrow. "i'm gonna miss out on passing my boyfriend when i walk to class, sneaking looks at him when we study together, and taking the long route to the bus stop to drop by his dorm, not to mention tens of other things."

hoseok chews his inner cheek, suddenly feeling an onslaught of fuzzy butterflies in his stomach. he sinks down into his seat, snorting quietly to hide a smile. "you're so cheesy, hyung."

"i'm gonna miss holding your hand and walkin' around campus the most, honestly." yoongi puffs his cheeks, fingers reflexively tapping on the wheel. "it's the highlight of my day whenever we do it; just peacefully walking around campus, maybe getting a drink sometimes 'nd talking about random stuff."

shifting his body towards the older male, hoseok tucks in his knees to rest his legs against the seat. "i'll hold your hand right now, since you miss it that much."

the blonde blinks repeatedly, before cautiously removing his right hand from the wheel and resting it on the armrest console, fingers extending slowly. "i'm—i'm a little nervous about this, not gonna lie, hoseok."

"oh my god, i was kidding, you don't—"

"shut up and hold my hand."

grinning, hoseok slowly reaches out, fingers weaving with yoongi's in a loose grip. it takes a few seconds for them to adjust, and yoongi squeezes his hand tightly as he takes a deep breath. they don't say much, but hoseok, feeling giddier than before, turns up the music and relaxes in his seat. yoongi probably has something going on and he's talking about it to jeongguk; maybe it's about being apart from hoseok or his friends, and he doesn't want to discuss it hoseok. that's probably it, hoseok thinks to himself, nodding silently.

overthinking everything is pointless considering yoongi naturally keeps to himself, and so it's probably not a big deal—yoongi will tell him when he wants to. that's right, he has to be an adult now, and adults don't freak out over their s.o.'s shadiness. he's not some dumb high school kid that gets nervous and overthinks everything, jung hoseok is now 21! (he gotta adult!!!!!)

so he won't say anything about it, instead, he'll listen to the music and enjoy the drive with yoongi, with his eyes on the road and—oh n o —"yoongi, we're swerving into the other lane—"

"no we aren't, i got this,"

"maybe i should let go—"

"hyung, i would like to live, thank you very much," hoseok moans out, attempting to wiggle out his hand from the older male's iron grip. upon doing so, yoongi's left hand starts to quiver, sending the car zig-zagging within the lane. yoongi shrieks, quickly snatching his hand away and clamping his fingers on the steering wheel, while hoseok bursts in a series of snickers,

"shut up, jung, next time i'll make sure we crash," yoongi snaps, cheeks flushed as he scrunches his nose. god, he looks so cute, hoseok swears he wish he could physically give yoongi tens and millions of heart-eyed emojis.

"too late; i've crashed into you from the moment we met." he pauses, before furrowing his eyebrows. "literally, like, you tripped over me—"

"can we not repeat this!" yoongi cuts him off, head turning swiftly to glare at him in playful menace.

"—maybe it was a sign that you literally fell for me from the start."

"oh."

the younger male props his arms on the car seat, watching as a smile slowly creeps on the blonde's lips. yoongi stifles a laugh to himself, shoulders rolling back as he adjusts himself into the seat, and releases the t i n i e s t of giggles.

(hoseok: uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuw)

unable to hold it back, he waits until yoongi rolls the car to the stop at a red light, and tugs the seatbelt down to lean over and press a quick kiss to the older male's cheek. a strangled sound emits from yoongi's lips, but hoseok's draws himself too fast to really look, head whipping to the window to hide his grins.

》》

ILLUMINAUGHTY

JUNGCOCK
omg i found the weirdest thing ever

JIMANMEAT
spill the tea

JUNGCOCK
u know how seokjin has a no call policy

TAEHUNKJUNK
yeah what abt it

JIMANMEAT
seokjin tea????
tell me i need DIRT on him he has been
doing me DIRT

JUNGCOCK
shut up and let me talk
ok so i he was gonna drop me off at the dorm the otherday bc
i didnt wanna walk
but then i thought i lost my phone n freaked out abt it
so hyung let me borrow it to call for my phone
guess what

JIMANMEAT
what

TAEHUNKJUNK
did he have nudes

JUNGCOCK
ew wtf

TAEHUNKJUNK
it's seokjin
It makes sense

JIMANMEAT
i bet he sends it to namjoon
hes so soft for him all of a sudden

JUNGCOCK
acTUALLLLYYY

JIMANMEAT
WAIT NO WAY

JUNGCOCK
HE HAD LIKE A FULL LIST OF CALLS
THEYRE ALL FROM
>
.
.
.
.
.
NAMJOON HYUNG

TAEHUNKJUNK
NAMJONNN?????
SEOKJIN?? letting NAMJOON??? bypas the NO CALL POLICY??
somethings up

JIMANMEAT
this is so sus i TOLD U
somethings up between them
brb im gonna drill seokjin

JUNGCOCK
meeeeee omg
i bet u theyre conspiraing something against us
watch ur back

TAEHUNKJUNK
maybe theyre dating?
????

JIMANMEAT
nOOOOOOO WAYYYYYYY
jins a chaebol n hes always holding these high standards
hes dated doctors, olympic players, engineers, and even !! a trainee ! !! !
namjoons a nerdy poor college student,, thts like the opposite of his dating circle

JUNGCOCK
idk,,, this is suspicious behavior

TAEHUNKJUNK
ok lets be on the lookout and update each other

JUNGCOCK
ok

JIMANMEAT
for sure

》》

"i can't believe you're 22," jimin huffs out, eyebrows furrowed.

"why is it not believable?" yoongi tilts his head to the side, his fork slowly sinking into the cake.

"cause you look 12."

there's a moment of silence as yoongi pauses mid-cut, and taehyung mouths 'you're so dead' to jimin, and it's enough to send jimin cackling loudly as he runs away. yoongi doesn't hold back either, chasing after him with a plastic fork in his hand, yelling amusing threats and laments about 'youth lacking respect'.

"he's gonna kill him," taehyung whines, a hand reaching out to tug on seokjin's sleeve. "hyung, you're the only one who can call out yoongi; do something!"

seokjin shrugs, cutting himself another fat slice of cake (as taehyung rounds his eyes in disbelief) and sliding it onto his plate. "he had it coming; for now, i'm staying here. "

taehyung's eyes dart over hoseok, who immediately puts his hands up in surrender and shakes his head. "i'm here tryna eat my cake, and live, sorry tae."

"jeongguk—"

"namjoon hyung!" jeongguk coughs loudly, pretending to ignore tae by turning to namjoon instead. "how has culinary club been? did you blow up anymore ovens?"

the teal-haired male opens his mouth to respond, but jimin's shrill 'i love you hyung!' followed by yoongi's growling 'im gonna kill you' cuts him off. there's a muffled whine, sounds of scuffle, and a few seconds later, the pair emerge from the living room. yoongi's arm is secured tightly around jimin's neck, a triumphant look on his face, while jimin sulks as he struggles to escape. while everyone stares at them, seokjin hums as he scrapes his plate, clearly unbothered by the scenario.

yoongi lets go, and jimin immediately straightens his form. he sucks in his breath, before announcing: "min yoongi hyung is the best person that i have ever met, and i'm so thankful to have meet him. my life would never be the same without him."

a chorus of snickers run through the room, while jimin drags himself over to sit next to taehyung, emitting a dramatic moan as he rests his head against taehyung's shoulders. "alright, it's presents time and then i'm kicking everyone outta this apartment, thank you very much!"

the blonde hair rolls his eyes with a quiet laugh, a smile gracing his cheeks when hoseok catches his gaze. "alright, i told you guys not to get me anything, so i hope you listened."

"my presence itself is a present," seokjin declares, chest puffed out.

yoongi's face screws up in disgust, and hoseok bursts into giggles at it. "i don't want it, then."

"ungrateful brat, i—"

"I LEFT MY PRESENT IN SEOKJIN'S CAR," namjoon frets, his hand running through his hair in distress. "i'm so, so sorry, this always happens, i swear to god."

seokjin snorts, gaze softening at the sight of namjoon. "it's okay, i'll go to the car with you and we can grab it."

yoongi waves them both off with a gummy smile, shrugging. "it's okay, don't worry. what's new, anyways."

hoseok's hand slips into his pocket, rummaging around to find his present, and slowly drawing it out as he watches seokjin and namjoon leave. he waits until the door closes, before standing up and flashing the older male a sheepish grin. "i, uh, sabotaged namjoon."

"you what?"

"i was supposed to grab his gift too, but i didn't, cause i, uh, didn't want them seeing my gift to you." he pauses to emit a nervous laugh, before handing the slim rectangle to yoongi.

"oh my god, s'gonna be like, dildo molded in the shape of hoseok's dick," taehyung wheezes out, eliciting a chorus of devious laughter from jimin and jeongguk.

yoongi shoots them an annoyed smile before he takes it between his hands, slowly tearing to the wrapping paper until it falls apart. he stares at the gift for a few seconds, before eyes darting up at hoseok. "really?"

"i was inspired by jimin," hoseok shrugs with a puff of his cheeks. ("you're welcome, hyung, but that's still nasty!")

with a loud sigh, yoongi shakes the concealer in its box, head shaking in amusement as he tucks it into his pocket. "thoughtful and cute, thanks hoseok." he beams, taking a step closer. yoongi tiptoes up to press a kiss against hoseok's cheek, before he grazes his lips upwards and whispers coyly, "guess this means you should give me opportunities to use your gift often, huh?"

hoseok's knees buckles and he w h e e z e s .

》》

"..i think i'm gonna combust." taehyung groans, burying his head into his textbook."

"are you okay?" jeongguk blinsk out, an arm slowly stroking his friend's back.

"okay is an underestimate. jimin's doing that thing where he did before we started dating, where we would pretend to flirt back and forth for fun and be all fake gay and shit, and then things got all blurry and we started dating. and like," taehyung pauses, struggling to find the right words. "i know he's all doing it to annoy hoseok, but i can't help but feel like maybe i got a chance, y'know, it just brings back all these memories of us dating and all!"

"yoongi thinks you should just tell hoseok and seokjin, all in honesty, and it's not like they could do anything about it.

nose scrunching, taehyung shakes his head vigorously. "no, oh my god, they made it super clear we shouldn't date again and they would disapprove if we did."

"why did you guys breakup, anyways?" jeongguk asks, head cocking to the side. "you don't have to say why, but just..outta curiosity, y'know?"

taehyung chews his bottom lip, clearly uncomfortable about the ordeal, but shrugs anyways with a low sigh. "we were just dumb high school kids that misunderstood each other, got mad and petty. thinking back, if i just asked him or like talked to him, then we wouldn't have broken up over a stupid guy that i thought jimin became interested in. but—it's different now! i'm a lot more mature than back then." he stresses out, head nodding firmly in confirmation.

jeongguk softens his gaze, humming out quietly. "that sucks. i know you guys are different now, too, so it's..okay. i think it'll work out if you give it time."

"yoongi hasn't said anything to them, has he?"

"don't worry, yoongi promised me he wouldn't speak a word."

》》

"taehyung likes jimin."

"...wait...what?"

"that's what me and jeongguk have been talking about." yoongi blurts out, head hanging low as his eyes dart to the side.

they're in the middle of making out, with hoseok hover over yoongi in the older male's apartment, lips inches apart as hoseok blinks repeatedly in confusion. yoongi pushes himself to sit up, while hoseok slides over next to him to gaze at him intently.

yoongi takes a deep breath, before exhaling out slowly, head lifting up to meet hoseok's gaze. "i've been trying to give them advice, since they asked for it, and i wasn't supposed to let you know because i know you wouldn't like it. but...every time i was hanging out with jeongguk, i could see it was bothering you and that you were confused and wanted to say something about it...but you didn't."

it takes a few moments for the truth to sink in, before hoseok starts laughing deliriously to himself, head knocking back against the headboard. and really, to think all this time he was fretting over the dumbest thing ever—the world works in mysterious ways. "it bothered me," hoseok confesses, flashing yoongi a sheepish grin (who pales as if he's seen a ghost or something) and bring his hands together to fidget slightly. "but like, i tried to not ask you 'cause maybe it wasn't a big deal and stuff, and to find out it's just about taehyung being dumb is just. really funny and stuff. i was overreacting over nothing!"

yoongi squints, clearly lost for words. "so you're not...mad at me?"

and god, he's so cute. "nah, i'm happy you told me the truth. sorry for being so—i dunno, overreacting, or whatever."

"no, no!" the older male shakes his head vigorously, turning to cup hoseok's face between his palms and squishing his cheeks firmly. "you have nothing to be sorry for, okay," he huffs out, leaning closer to drop his voice into a lower tenor. "i'm sorry for hiding all of this for you." hoseok opens his mouth to object, but yoongi squishes them harder, eyebrows narrowed together. "got it?"

hoseok nods meekly.

"good," yoongi declares with a soft sigh, pressing a quick kiss to hoseok's lips before pulling away. "there ya go."

a warm sense of fuzziness fills hoseok, and the younger male lets himself slide back into the bedsheets, nestling himself into yoongi's side. not saying much, the blonde elicits a soft laugh and wraps an arm around hoseok's torso and running his fingers through the soft locks.

"...so....you're chill with taehyung and jimin, then?"

"no."

"hoseok," comes the mock whine, and hoseok can feel yoongi's fingers curling into the brunette strands and tugging at it.

hoseok imitates yoongi, responding by burying his face further into yoongi's thighs, an arm sneaking over to trap the older male in his hold. albeit a little childish, hoseok kinda likes being lazy and annoying yoongi, because, well—he emits the cutest reaction.

and true to his prediction, yoongi emits a groan of annoyance, planting both his arms on top of hoseok's back and applying as much pressure as he can downwards. "hear me out, seokseok: just like seokjin knows we aren't innocent virginal little lambs but lets us be (for the most part) because all of us are understanding and mature adults, i think we can do the same for tae and jimin."

he wheezes out at yoongi's devious ministrations, refusing to give in as he smothers the older male's thighs in kisses. yoongi squirms above him, clearly ticklish, and hoseok it to his advantage by wiggling himself further up. "hear me out, yoongi poongi: jimin and taehyung are still childish as hell, and i doubt their relationship would work out, not to mention end in okay terms."

yoongi huffs out in disdain, lifting his body up back against the bed, and slowly sliding down until he's eye-level with hoseok. lips pursed together, he locks his legs around hoseok's waist and yanks the younger male down so that he's pressed up against yoongi's chest, unable to move. "hear me out, jung: they're immature in our eyes because they have dumb and edgy internet humor, but i think both of them have grown up and realize their wrongs from what happened in high school, and i think they should be given a chance. besides—" he cocks an eyebrow, "what are you gonna do if they get together? cut them out?"

...realistically, hoseok would still be there for the two of them and nothing would be any different than it is now, because as annoying as they get—hoseok admits that he still cares for the idiots and would do anything for them. "...i mean i g u e s s ."

"checkmate," yoongi flashes him a smug smile, and jung hoseok, clearly annoyed, slips his arms around yoongi's neck to hoist himself up, peppering the older male in kisses in a poor attempt to shut him up.

"you're so annoying!" yoongi mumbles between breathless laughs, eyes crinkling up as his gums peek out from his smile.

"sorry not sorry," hoseok winks with a triumphant grin, propping his chin on yoongi's chest.

the older male rolls his eyes with a shake of his head, head lolling to the side to look at hoseok with a sense of admiration. "i just think, now that they're older, they know how to communicate better, and i think that's really important. i mean—that's why i just get like i had to tell you, y'know? talking about stuff is important, and sometimes it's hard, but..." yoongi trails off, shoulders shrugging slowly. "...it's key to a healthy relationship, and i—i'd really like for us to be in one."

and it's not a direct way of telling hoseok that he's loved or anything, but it's still something—the fact that yoongi strives to keep their relationship going because he wants it says something, and hoseok bubbles up enthusiasm because—shit, he doesn't know why, it just feels good to know it and hear it directly from yoongi.

"sorry, that got sentimental fast," yoongi laughs out awkwardly, "anyways—"

"i love you."

yoongi blinks repeatedly, blonde locks messy from rolling around his bed, cheeks pink from all the messing around and stressful confessions, eyes peering at hoseok in wonder and lips parted as if he's lost for words. he's so beautiful, and hoseok swears if his eyes could take pictures, he'd put this sight of min yoongi as his wallpaper, his lock screen, a framed photo, a goddamn k-pop poster—just his reaction is enough to send hoseok swooning over the edge.

but the pause of silence is far too long, and jung hoseok, who stares at him from his chest in hopeful anticipation, feels like he might've said the wrong thing. maybe it was the wrong time, or wrong moment, or wrong way, or just—he's being dumb and overexcited and impulsive again, and now yoongi's uncomfortable just as he was being comfortable. "i-i've been wanting to say that for awhile now," he murmurs weakly in a poor explanation, eyes shifting away, heat rising in his face. "and. y'know, c o m m u n i c a t i o n," he coughs out, trying to play it off. "this is dumb, i—"

"i love you too."

"what?"

"i said, i love you too."

》》

namjoon has to pretend like it's natural. he has to be careful, and he doesn't wanna seem like he's staying up just to anticipate the notification from his phone. no, he's staying up because he's sketching out a potential apartment floor plan, and it's s o frustrating, so he has to sketch different versions of his dream plan until he gets the blueprint right.

he is definitely not tapping his phone screen every few minutes to check the time, and he is most certainly not checking to see if it's three am yet. kim namjoon is an independent guy who's just chugging coffee and sketching out floor plans for (fun) school.

INCOMING:
Jingles is calling....

"hi," namjoon says tentatively, immediately pushing his pencils to the side and snatching up his phone.

hi, did you wait for me again?

"the world doesn't revolve around you, hyung," namjoon snorts out, biting back a smile.

of course it revolves around me. anyways, i'm glad! are you at the cafe?

"yeah, i can't study well around hoseok, no offense or anything. how was today's shift?"

hold on—i'm getting into my car. it's been, ugly, y'know night shift. i'm so sleepy, im gonna k.o. when i get home...you should, too! don't study too late or you'll carry fake gucci eyebags like me.

"i will, but i gotta stay up and do this first."

oh...in that case...do you wanna keep me company while i drive home?

namjoon smiles, arms folded over the table to prop his chin on them. "of course, hyung."