All of his life Taehyung has been relatively good at judging people. It has always been quite easy for him to see right through them, see behind their facades and recognize it the second they would start lying to his face.

But then he met Yoongi.

And Yoongi has been different than anyone he's ever seen before. Right from the start, Taehyung thought he had him figured out but Yoongi kept surprising him every chance he got. There's something different about him and to this day, Taehyung still never really knows what goes on in the elder's mind at some times.

Yoongi is a very careful person, very pedantic. He has a plan for every second of the day, he never enters a situation unprepared and if things are out of order around him he's going to throw a fit. Taehyung understands why his father values the other so much. Having someone like Yoongi managing the most important businesses of the company and working for the CEO must make a lot of things much easier for everyone. Someone like Yoongi would always keep everything in order, there would never be any half-assed things and no matter what he started, it would be finished perfectly. There's never a second where Yoongi isn't in control of what's going on.

That could be seen as a good thing but it wasn't just the fact that Yoongi takes control in the workplace. He is obsessed with it. So obsessed that he is unable to ever give up control. So obsessed that the sheer thought of not being in control for once causes him anxiety, causes him panic. Taehyung had noticed that right from the start. The obsession has become more than obvious after the first few times of meeting the elder and now after they got into a relationship it only got easier to spot it in the other's daily life.

It's weird. It's something Taehyung couldn't really understand. Not that he doesn't try but it's just that. He could see Yoongi struggling, could see him fighting to keep control in every possible situation but he doesn't understand why the other does it. He could just observe him, hoping to catch a hint at how the other's mind works but until now Taehyung hasn't received much. But Taehyung doesn't have to understand the elder to know that he needs help. Specifically, his help.

Seeing him at Sense the first time has been more than surprising but it only awoke his infatuation with the other instantly. The second he saw him sitting at the bar, purple shirt flowing down his upper body and neck empty from a collar. His infatuation has originally started because of the thing that makes him worry now. Yoongi's mysteriousness.

Yoongi is an enigma and Taehyung has sworn to find out why he couldn't read Yoongi. And he feels like he understands Yoongi a bit better now - just not enough. Not enough to see through him and that bothers Taehyung. It bothers him a whole lot because he knows that there is something Yoongi is hiding from him. And he hates it when someone hides something from him.

Through their relationship, Yoongi has learned to let go, learned to give up control for a few sacred hours of the day but Taehyung knows that he never let go completely. Even when they're together Yoongi continues being his controlling self, keeps controlling everything that could give something personal away. And Taehyung knows that it's bad, it's bad that he could see that Yoongi hides something with every controlled expression he puts on his face. Hides something that he doesn't want Taehyung to know - but why?

Taehyung leans back against his couch, gaze directed at the cloudy sky outside. He hates it when Yoongi controls himself around him. He hates it when he would catch a glimpse at something that Yoongi tries to hide so bad only for him to quickly control his expressions again. The thing is, Yoongi does it so well that Taehyung sometimes thinks he imagines the seconds where it looks like Yoongi is lying, like he's hiding something important. But it happened so often already, happened so much that Taehyung couldn't overlook it anymore.

There's been an uneasy feeling in his stomach right from the start. From the moment he went through the contract with Yoongi in his office. He deliberately chose to force him into a space that could make him uncomfortable, hoped that it would catch Yoongi off guard and reveal the things about him that he'd rather not show - but needed to show. In the end, nothing like that happened but the uneasy feeling stayed. Stayed in the back of Taehyung's mind, so small and insignificant that he almost forgot it. But every time Yoongi would slip up, even if it was just for a fraction of a second, it would resurface. It would come back up and mock Taehyung.

Because he should have known. He should have looked for more signs earlier in their relationship. He should have noticed that there is something big going on inside of Yoongi that the elder tries to hide so bad but that's obviously affecting his life. And not only that but also their relationship. That's what makes it even worse. That's what makes Taehyung second guess everything that happened between them until now. Because the second he realized that it affects their relationship he should have stopped everything until he knew what was going on.

It's the first time in his whole life that he doubts that he's a good Dom. Normally, he knows that he is. Being a Dom and especially empathetic is one of his biggest advantages. Being so gifted when it comes to reading people makes being a Dom a whole lot easier. But then there's Yoongi. And Yoongi makes him second guess himself because he's not stopping. He's not stopping their relationship even though there is something clearly impacting it negatively, something that Yoongi hasn't told him about and is still trying to hide from him.

And he should know better than to continue their relationship under these circumstances.

The feeling crept in slowly. Like a sickness that doesn't get noticed until it's bad enough to kill you. Taehyung should have acted sooner, should have acted before things went this far. It's not the fact that Yoongi safeworded three times already – it has nothing to do with the punishment that went too far. Or with his panic attack in the bathtub or with the party last night. But well, – in the end, it kind of has something to do with it. With all those things because they made it obvious that there is something Yoongi wants to hide. His explanations for the past two panic attacks were all believable but since last night, Taehyung knows that they're lies.

The thing that gave it away was Yoongi himself. Not deliberately. Taehyung isn't even sure if the other noticed how obviously he was lying. Probably not. Yoongi looked like he'd seen a ghost, like someone tried to kill him back there and Taehyung wanted to ask. Wanted to bombard him with questions especially when the other started lying straight to his face but he knew he wouldn't get anything out of Yoongi. Not when he's like this. He would have just made everything worse if he insisted that the other would explain everything to him right then and there.

But at least, now he's sure. To be honest, he kind of hoped that the uneasy feeling would turn out to be unjustified. He hoped that Yoongi had been true to him from the start but now he knows that's not the case. Which is... disappointing. It's not what he would have expected from someone like Yoongi, someone who needed to have control this much and always made sure to follow each and every rule. So, he expected him to follow the rules of the contract and their relationship. He expected the elder to tell him about everything that would impact their relationship. Because he knows that Yoongi is also aware of how important that is when it comes to a safe practice of BDSM.

And no matter how hard it might be to share some things it is necessary for a relationship like theirs. He knows that it can be and probably is really hard to talk about traumatic experiences but obviously Yoongi isn't dealing with it the right way. Furthermore, these experiences seem to be rooted in BDSM or in the things they do during scenes. And Taehyung couldn't take the responsibility for possibly triggering past traumas during scenes. He couldn't continue like this if Yoongi doesn't tell him what's going on because it could really become dangerous if Taehyung might accidentally trigger the other during scenes again. So that this won't happen they had this talk in the beginning, during the contract negotiations but Yoongi obviously kept secrets.

And keeping secrets about possible triggers is the worst that he could do. It is... a dealbreaker.

Taehyung wouldn't give up on him though. They still have a chance, Yoongi just has to be honest. He just has to tell him the truth and they could continue their relationship safer than before. If he doesn't though... Taehyung doesn't want to be responsible for what could happen if they continue like this.

That doesn't mean he would leave him. The fact that he's in love with him is why it took him this long to take action, to act upon his suspicions. And if Yoongi isn't ready to tell him then that would be okay, they could still be boyfriends. The only thing that would change between them would be the lack of a D/S relationship. Taehyung knows how much that means to Yoongi and that it would probably negatively impact his life - because the thing he said to Yoongi, in the beginning, is true.

Yoongi needs him.

Not necessarily him but he needs what Taehyung is giving to him. He needs BDSM, needs his Subspace to keep his anxiety and everything else in check but Taehyung wouldn't risk it. Wouldn't take the risk of just continuing like this without knowing the truth.

Taehyung reaches for his phone that's been lying in front of him this whole time. Yoongi's contact is already opened but he debated with him whether to call now or postpone this even more. But waiting longer would only worsen the whole situation. Taehyung knows that Yoongi might still be shaken up from whatever scared him last night but he also knows that this couldn't wait.

"Yoongi hyung?"

He didn't expect him to pick up his phone this quickly. The other doesn't answer immediately, it sounds more like the phone is being passed around which doesn't make much sense to Taehyung but he doesn't mention it. Not when there's finally Yoongi's rough voice speaking to him through the phone, "Morning."

He swallows, sitting up straight again. "Are you feeling better?"

It's a dumb question, such a dumb question because how? How should Yoongi feel better already when it's only been a few hours since it seemed like he had a heart attack. "Yes – I'm sorry again," Yoongi apologizes but he sounds as surprised by the question as Taehyung - and still, there is still something in his voice that doesn't sound genuine. Something that Taehyung wouldn't even have noticed before but now it seemed as clear as day. "I didn't know that I would get overwhelmed this easily."

"Nothing to be sorry for – it happens," Taehyung says, "I still want to talk about it."

He winces at his own wording. It probably would have been possible to approach this topic with a little more tact. Yoongi doesn't answer him though, Taehyung isn't even sure if the other is breathing on the other side of the line. Well, now he started this so he could just go through with it right now. There is no point in hiding that he has something serious to discuss with the other.

"Can you come over as soon as possible, please? I would like to do this face to face."

Waiting for the other's answer is almost as nerve-wracking as finally initiating this long overdue conversation. Taehyung waits with bated breath for any sign of Yoongi, anything at all. His gaze strays towards his windows again. The gray clouds outside have gotten darker. It might rain soon and he's about to take his last request back to offer driving to the other's place instead, in case it would rain. Yoongi doesn't have a car and would definitely get wet.

Before he could do that though, Yoongi has already agreed to come over as soon as he could. "Okay... Give me an hour."

The line clicks.

Yoongi hung up.

Taehyung is sure the other noticed that something was off. That this is not like all the other times they talked about what happened during a scene. Taehyung could hear it in his voice, in the way it wavered slightly as he agreed to meet, the strain obvious in his words.

Waiting for him feels like an eternity is passing. Taehyung doesn't know if he ever felt this nervous and scared at the same time in his life ever before. He is so scared, so scared of losing Yoongi. Even though he tries to convince himself that the other would feel the same way, would do anything to not make them part there's a voice in his head telling him that it hasn't been a coincidence that Yoongi has lied to him all this time and just because Taehyung knows about his lies doesn't mean that he's suddenly going to tell the truth. Just like that. As if the thing he keeps hidden isn't as bad as it was before.

Taehyung gets up from the couch, walking around to get rid of the restlessness in his legs. No matter where he looks though, his eyes always seem to find something that reminds him of Yoongi or belongs to the elder. There's the polaroid picture pinned on his refrigerator that Taehyung took of him when Yoongi fell asleep on his couch, bundled up like a little kid and with his cat videos still playing on his phone. His hair had been a mess, the clothes he wore too big because they didn't belong to him and a bit of chocolate smeared on his lower lip. It was adorable.

He walks through his hallway, eyes catching on the painting he made with Yoongi in mind. The different tones of purple swirling over the canvas like they were dancing with each other. Like they were alive, living and breathing. Taehyung wishes Yoongi wouldn't be as complicated as those colors, wouldn't have so many hidden layers. He wishes the other would be easy to read and wouldn't just transition in everything that he is as easily and randomly as the colors in the painting.

When he walks in his bedroom he almost stumbles over one of the other's discarded shirts. It's big. It would probably fit Taehyung easily because every time Yoongi wears it the hem reaches the middle of his thighs as if he's wearing a dress. He always looks extra soft when he's dressed in nothing more than the white shirt with the letters FG in the front. When he picks it up to hang it over the stool in the corner of his room he catches sight of a bright patterned tie. The light blue color and the different colored flowers all over it has quickly made it Taehyung's favorite tie, especially because Yoongi gifted it to him with blushing cheeks and a shy smile.

In his bathroom is the additional toothbrush he keeps for Yoongi. Dirty clothes of him probably in the laundry basket because at the weekend Yoongi basically lives here. Taehyung returns to the living room only to feel his eyes being drawn to the purple box on the table in front of the couch. It's empty at the moment but usually, Yoongi's collar would be stored inside. After all that happened yesterday night, Taehyung forgot to take it back from the other once they were inside of the car and the scene has obviously been over.

There are so many things in his apartment that remind him of Yoongi, so many things that make it here feel a little more like home. Like it's been Yoongi that has been missing all those years and Taehyung is not ready to give that up yet. Not yet. Not because of this. Not because of something he could prevent. Sure, there are things he has no control over, things that could break them apart but this is not one of these. This is something they could almost easily resolve with a little bit of talking.

But the fear stays in his chest even when Yoongi is finally standing in front of his door. The tips of his hairs are wet, the strands that haven't been under his hat dripping water on his shoulders. Taehyung didn't even notice that it actually started to rain. The other looks tired. So tired and Taehyung already feels bad for forcing him to have this heavy kind of conversation right now. But it can't wait.

Neither of them says a word as Yoongi comes inside. It's strange. Normally, they're both the most comfortable around each other but right now it feels like they're walking on eggshells. The awkwardness is heavy in the air, almost suffocating as they settle down on the couch. Yoongi very obviously avoids eye contact. He keeps pulling at his sleeves. His right leg keeps bouncing up and down. The restlessness and nervousness of him jumping over at Taehyung too.

The younger coughs slightly into his fist. The sound too loud in the quiet apartment. He watches how Yoongi flinches slightly and seems to make himself even smaller than he already is. It's obvious he's uncomfortable and Taehyung wishes he could stop this all right now, wishes he could take all of the worries away from Yoongi so that he would always be happy but he couldn't. He would never want to make the other uncomfortable on purpose but he also just couldn't ignore this any longer. And both of them would have to endure this right now - Yoongi a bit more than Taehyung.

The silence stretches for a few minutes until Taehyung finally takes the first step and opens his mouth. "What is my first rule?"

Yoongi answers like he's on autopilot. No emotion in his voice as he retells the first rule Taehyung made him learn by heart. "Honesty and trust are the key elements of this relationship. Trust needs to be constantly worked on and lying will not be tolerated at any time."

At least he really does know the rules. "Why are you disrespecting my first rule then?" This seems to get his attention because he's immediately snapping his head up, eyes wide as he tries to defend himself.

"I'm not –"

"You're lying again," Taehyung interrupts him. His hands have started trembling from all the frustration and desperation building up inside of him. He's not going to let himself get lied to any longer. Yoongi will say the truth. Right now because that's what Taehyung deserves. That's what he deserves in their relationship. It is necessary. Necessary for them to work out and that's what they both want, right?

He rakes his fingers through his hair as he gets up, restlessly walking up and down in front of the couch. From outside, the rain could be heard hitting against the windows and the shadows of their drops dance over Yoongi's pale skin. The elder dropped his head again. His gaze is focused on his fidgeting hands and Taehyung wants to scream.

"I've known for a long time that there is something you're not telling me," He eventually says as calm as he could manage. As soon as the words are out he could literally see how Yoongi stiffens, how every muscle in his body tenses. He wishes he could make it stop, wishes he wouldn't have to put the other through this but he has no other choice. Not talking about it would just make everything worse, would probably end up being the reason why they would break up in the future.

Taehyung takes a deep breath before sitting down next to the elder again. He's keeping his distance from him on purpose though, careful to not sit close to the elder. Not even close enough so that they would be able to feel each other's body heat. He's sure that Yoongi wouldn't be able to take being touched right now. He could see it in the way his shoulders are trembling, in the way he keeps pressing his fingernails into the flesh of his thighs, raking them up and down as if he's trying to rip his pants apart.

"I knew since you used the safeword in the tub and definitely since last night." A quiet whimper escapes Yoongi's lips and his knuckles turn white as they grip the edge of his sweater as tight as possible. Taehyung continues talking though, "We need to have a serious conversation. Tell me why you safeworded – honestly. Tell me why you had the panic attack yesterday. I'm not going to use your emotional trauma against you but I need you to tell me everything about you for this to work, okay? We long passed the stage of a simple D/S relationship and I'm not asking you only as your Dom but as Taehyung – your boyfriend who loves you. Yoongi – I want to help you. You need to let me help you..." He's close to actually begging by now. "Please let me help you."

The silence following his words is only interrupted by the insistent knocks of the raindrops against the windows. Taehyung watches how Yoongi takes deep breaths, one after another. Watches how he seemingly struggles to find the right words. His mouth opens more than once to say something only to close again without a word having rolled off his tongue.

It's torturous. Watching him struggle. If he could, Taehyung would just answer for him instead. But that's impossible. If he could, Taehyung would hug him, hold his hand and promise him that everything would be alright but he couldn't do that if he doesn't know what's going on. He couldn't make promises he wouldn't be able to hold no matter what.

"I – Tae – I just..." Yoongi interrupts himself as soon as he finally starts talking. His bottom lip is reddening under his teeth as he keeps biting down on it. At least he admits that there is something - that there is something he keeps hidden, something he still doesn't want to tell him. And that's his right. Taehyung obviously couldn't force him but no matter what Yoongi chooses to do - there will be big consequences for their relationship either way.

"You need to talk about it," Taehyung quietly says. He keeps his voice soft, gentle as he searches for Yoongi's gaze and finds teary eyes. The image tears at his heartstrings. "You are – You have so much that pulls you down and it shows. You won't be able to ever move on from whatever haunts you if you keep trying to ignore it. I can't force you to tell me... But I also can't continue with this type of relationship without knowing what's going on. I need to be able to trust you and honesty is necessary for that."

"I never told anyone," Yoongi sniffles frantically, "Not someone who didn't witness it. Not someone who wasn't Namjoon or Jin."

Taehyung reaches out towards him the second he notices how agitated Yoongi suddenly gets. He lets his hand rest between them, not close enough to touch the other but an obvious offer for him. "Then maybe it's time you finally do," He whispers.

A whimper falls from Yoongi's lips and he grasps his sweater tighter. His eyes never leave Taehyung's open hand and it seems like he's holding himself back from reaching out and taking it. It shouldn't hurt Taehyung as much as it does. He wanted this conversation so that Yoongi and he could become closer, not be driven further apart.

"Yoongi, I signed the contract that I wouldn't use any of the info you give me against you and even if I didn't – Yoongi, I love you a lot and I wouldn't – I want to continue this so I need you to work with me here," Taehyung pleads with a shaking voice.

It seems to take Yoongi a lot of effort to reach out and finally let his hand be enclosed by Taehyung's. As soon as their skin touches the elder squeezes his hand tightly, so tight that it definitely hurts but Taehyung doesn't care. The slight pain doesn't matter. He's not even really noticing it - too focused on the words that leave Yoongi's mouth, dripping down between them like the last ray of hope.

"I... It's the Dom I dated," Yoongi stutters but he doesn't interrupt himself this time, "He was at the club last night – talked to me. I just... He isn't a good person."

Taehyung always had his suspicions when it came to Yoongi's past BDSM experiences.

The other Doms he had before, the ones he briefly mentioned didn't seem to have impacted his life a lot. At least not from the way he just casually mentioned them like they're not important. And the first two, the ones that professionally worked at clubs and didn't take him into training permanently don't sound like they're still on his mind sometimes. But the third one. The most recent one... Taehyung was used to Subs sharing a lot about their past Dom so that their current Dom would have an idea of what they wanted and needed but Yoongi... Yoongi didn't say a thing about their relationship which should have been a sign.

But Taehyung didn't recognize it as such.

Another sign should have been the things Yoongi accidentally let slip about his past relationship with the Dom. Like the small and seemingly insignificant information that he wants a different relationship than before. Not a permanent power exchange but a scene-oriented one. It could have been something Taehyung would notice but he didn't.

The other thing happened recently even. A few days ago when they were talking about going to Fetish and Yoongi casually mentioned what he didn't want. He didn't want to crawl around, didn't want a leash around his neck and what he did want - he did want to still feel like a human being. Those are all things his Dom did to him and made him feel. All things that should have been a sign that the other wasn't really the best Dom or nicest person out there. Taehyung would never be caught dead doing something that his Sub would feel uncomfortable with, would feel ashamed and guilty if he found out his Sub lied about being uncomfortable during their scenes.

But it seems like Yoongi's former Dom didn't give a shit about that. He seemed to be someone that doesn't deserve the title 'Dom' because he didn't act like it at all.

And Taehyung had hoped that his suspicion would be wrong - but now that it turned out to be true, he needs to know about everything that the other ever did to Yoongi. He needs to know because otherwise he would never understand what could trigger Yoongi, could never understand why the other has so much trouble letting himself trusting others unconditionally.

"That's not enough, Yoongi," He says carefully - Yoongi grimaces at his words and squeezes his hand tighter again, "Tell me what he did."

"Taehyung – I can't." He sounds close to tears and Taehyung hates it. Hates that he still has to push, that he can't just leave Yoongi along with this because he needs the elder to understand what this means. Needs him to maybe see that he's putting something on the line that he can't really live without. It makes guilt bloom in his chest. It feels like he's blackmailing the other but deep down he knows that's not what it is. It's the only logical thing to do. It would be irresponsible to continue their D/S relationship like this.

"But you know what that means," Taehyung insist, voice pleading again as he stares at the other's eyes, "I don't want to but I – how can I continue to trust you? How do I know that you're not lying about more things? How am I supposed to act as your Dom if I don't know what could possibly trigger you? This is affecting the D/S relationship and you didn't tell me about it beforehand. You don't want to tell me now."

Taehyung closes his eyes, sucking in a breath before he says the next words. He lets them roll off his tongue with spikes around every letter, letting them cut him as they fall from his lips. Just saying it hurts him as well. "You know that this is a dealbreaker, right?"

As soon as those words leave his mouth Yoongi is tugging his hand closer, squeezing tighter as if Taehyung would leave if he didn't hold onto him. As if Taehyung would leave him just like this, in this very second. Yoongi's eyes glisten with unshed tears and his bottom lip trembles. "I – Give me time, please," He begs and he sounds more than desperate as he cradles Taehyung's hand against his chest, "Give me time... I will try – I will tell you but not – I can't tell you now..."

"Yoongi –"

"A week," The elder interrupts his protest, "Give me a week."

It only takes one look. One simple look inside of the other's pleading eyes that makes Taehyung budge to his wish. "...Okay," He agrees and then reaches out to take both of Yoongi's cheeks in his hands. "I love you. Just know that. No matter what it is – I love you and I will love you no matter what. Even if you can't tell me – that's just a dealbreaker for the D/S relationship and not for us. We can still be together. But I can't trust you as a Sub anymore, I can't trust myself with not hurting you if I don't know what might trigger you. You understand that, right?"

"I do." Yoongi nods. He has his head tilted to the side, relaxing in Taehyung's hold at least a tiny bit. "I will try."

"That's good." Taehyung smiles, leaning forward to press a small kiss to Yoongi's forehead. "Don't forget that I will always love you."

"I love you, too."

Taehyung just hopes the other loves him enough to choose what's best for him - for them. And that is telling the truth. As simple as that.

-o-

Taehyung is giving Yoongi exactly what the other asked him to.

Time.

He's giving him as much time and the additional space as possible. Yoongi has never been the greatest texter, Taehyung's messages are left unanswered most of the times but he knows that this doesn't mean that Yoongi doesn't appreciate them or him. But in the next few days, Taehyung tones it down to simple good morning and good night texts. Enough to give Yoongi an opportunity to create a conversation, to reach out to him while not overwhelming him at the same time.

Apart from that Taehyung doesn't interact with Yoongi at all. He even canceled lunch with his father on Wednesday so that Yoongi wouldn't have to see him coming into the office. It's been the first time they're laying everything so low and Taehyung has to admit that he misses the other badly, very badly. It hurts right in the middle of his chest. Every time he sees something that reminds him of the elder he feels the urge to text him or call him. But he holds himself back. For Yoongi's sake.

His messages are unanswered but read. That has to be enough for now. Enough for the last two days. On Saturday he would talk with Yoongi again, he would see him again and hear his decision. To say that he isn't nervous for whatever Yoongi is deciding for would be a lie and an understatement.

Taehyung isn't only nervous - he is terrified.

It's not only Yoongi that needs the BDSM part of their relationship. After all, Taehyung isn't doing this just because he feels like it at the moment as well. Being a Dom is part of his life as much as being a Sub is part of Yoongi's life. BDSM is a safe space for him as much as it is for Yoongi. Engaging in scenes makes him forget about everyday struggles and worries as much as it makes Yoongi forget. They're both benefitting from that part of their relationship and not having that anymore would make both of them suffer as well. Maybe Yoongi would suffer more but that doesn't mean it would leave Taehyung unaffected.

He sighs and leans back in his office chair. Glancing over at Jimin's desk he still finds him typing relentlessly at his computer. It would be great if the other could take his mind off things right now but Taehyung doesn't want to interrupt him. He knows that Jimin is currently trying to book a very famous Canadian artist for an exhibition in the future and if he would succeed that would definitely make their gallery internationally a little more popular.

And Jimin would probably just scold him to go back to work as well. Okay - he wouldn't. Jimin is actually a very great friend and an even better listener when he needs to. His suggestions are also always top notch. And of course, Jimin is his soulmate, his longest friend, the only person in the whole world that understands him through and through.

Jimin has taken him in when he had nowhere to go. Jimin has watched out for him as much as Taehyung watched out for him in return. They were inseparable since the start. 'Destined best friends' are what the smallers mother would always say. Jimin made him become who he is today - confident, successful and in line with himself. (At least mostly.) Jimin made him pursue his passion, never stopped believing in him and Taehyung couldn't be more thankful, couldn't imagine a better best friend.

So, yes - Jimin would definitely help him with this as well but Taehyung doesn't want to burden him. He doesn't want to interrupt him right now just to tell him how much he misses Yoongi and worries about him.

Thankfully, his thoughts get interrupted just at this second when his phone rings. Not his work phone but his personal one. The number flashing over the screen isn't one he recognizes which is suspicious. Taehyung doesn't easily give out his personal phone number. Normally, he wouldn't pick up a call from an unknown number but it's not like he would focus on work otherwise. He could also just distract himself with a phone call.

"Hello?"

Jimin glances up at him when Taehyung starts speaking but instantly focuses back on his computer when he notices the phone against his ear.

There's a pause on the other side of the line before a familiar voice starts speaking. "Uhm, this is Kim Namjoon," The man on the other side says and it might have been a while but Taehyung recognizes his voice. Recognizes him because - how could he not when he's literally the center of every story Jimin recently tells him. "The friend of Yoongi?"

It's funny though that Namjoon introduces himself like that and not as Jimin's boyfriend. He probably didn't really think of the fact that it's much more likely for Taehyung to remember him as his best friend's boyfriend than as Yoongi's friend. Maybe he forgot that he and Jimin are actually working together.

"Yeah, I know," Taehyung says and leans back against his chair.

"Jiminie gave me your number -" Taehyung would squeal because of the cute nickname but at the same time, he feels slightly jealous. He's the first person who ever called Jimin that! 'Jiminie' has been his idea and he had given it to Jungkook but in the end, he thought of that nickname. But he supposes he could also make an exception for Jimin's boyfriend.

"Did something happen with you and Yoongi?" Namjoon continues to speak. "Because he – well, he's not going to work and he is not talking to me and I – Sometimes he gets – sometimes he falls back into old habits and I'm just worrying."

Taehyung freezes. He has wondered why Namjoon would call him out of all people but now it makes sense. It makes sense when it's Yoongi they're talking about. "I didn't know he's not going to work," Taehyung says slowly, ignoring the questioning gaze from Jimin.

If Yoongi is not going to work then something has to be really wrong with him. It's not like Yoongi to just break his usual pattern. It's not like him to do anything out of the ordinary and just missing work because he's sick wouldn't be a reason for Namjoon to call him all worried. Yoongi loves going to work because it gives him routine, consistency. He's not someone who just misses work because he's stressed or something. That's just not like him.

Instantly, Taehyung starts worrying. The worst scenarios start unraveling inside of his mind and his leg begins to bounce up and down. The urge to just get up and drive over to the elder is almost overwhelming him.

"Yeah – Hoseok told Seokjin who told me and yeah, here we are," Namjoon sighs from the other side of the phone.

"We," Taehyung gulps, glancing at Jimin to check if the other is listening. It's not like he wants to keep a secret from his best friend - he just wants to give Yoongi and their relationship a shred of privacy. Jimin is focused on his computer, headphone in as he talks to someone presumably also on the phone. Taehyung only catches fragments of the conversation because he's never been the best when it comes to speaking English. Jimin also isn't but he's a little bit better than him and people are often instantly charmed by him. Apparently, language is not a barrier when you're Park Jimin. "We have an important conversation coming up, one that might be – a little hard for him to talk about," He finishes his sentence from before.

"Is it going to affect the relationship you have?"

"I'm – I don't think it's my place to tell you about the kind of relationship Yoongi and I have," Taehyung says as calmly as he could manage. He is not sure if Yoongi's friends know about everything, if they know about the BDSM stuff. He never asked the elder if he talked to his friends about things like that. Now, he kind of regrets that.

"You don't have to worry," Namjoon hurries to say, "I know what Yoongi looks for in a relationship – I know about the – what happened to him in the past. I know what he is to you. That's why I think it's so important for you to know that he's not doing well."

Taehyung doesn't know what he means. Well, he thinks he does but he's not sure. If Namjoon says he knows what happened in the past he is referring to what Yoongi is hiding, right? Or is he referring to what happened between Yoongi and him in the past? In their relationship? What does he know?

As much as Taehyung would like to figure that out - Yoongi's wellbeing is kind of more important to him right now. "I will check on him in the afternoon," He tells the other male, gaze jumping to the clock hanging above the wall. It's only twelve. "Thank you for telling me about the situation, Namjoon-ssi."

He hangs up without waiting for a response to focus back on his computer. The afternoon. Yes. He will check on Yoongi but only in the afternoon, after he is finished with work. Jungkook's artworks don't sell themselves after all. He manages to keep himself from storming out of the office for a total of five minutes. That's when he snaps. There is no use in pretending to work when his mind is just busy with Yoongi, worrying about the elder relentlessly.

"Jimin," He calls out to his best friend. The smaller male takes off the headphones, apologizing to whoever is on the other side of the phone as he excuses himself for a second.

"I'm kind of talking with someone important right now?" He hisses quietly, gesturing at his headphones. "What is it?"

"I'm going home. I might also not come in tomorrow."

"Taehyung," Jimin takes off the headphones completely, saying something into his phone before that though. "I love you, you're my best friend but I can't do everything on my own."

"I can just work from home." He ignores Jimin's sigh as he gathers all of his things. "Your boyfriend called me and said that something is wrong with Yoongi. I gotta check on him."

That seems to calm Jimin down and the smaller smiles - just a tiny smile but Taehyung knows that he's already forgiven. "Just don't forget to put Jungkook's pieces up for auction, okay?"

"Promise I won't!" And Taehyung is out of the door. Hopefully, there is not actually something wrong with Yoongi.

Standing in front of Yoongi's door suddenly makes him lose all his former confidence. All of the energy and worry he had for Yoongi is not simmering right under his skin anymore. Of course, it's still there but at the same time... Taehyung is scared of knocking on the elder's door. Scared of what might happen when he goes inside.

He raises his sweaty hand, contemplating with himself one last time about confronting Yoongi before the week is over. In the end, he decides to just get it over with. He raps his knuckles loudly against the door, heart beating in his throat as he hopes for Yoongi to open up.

It doesn't take him very long. As soon as his gaze lands on the elder Taehyung feels his chest constricting. A sharp pain flashing through his ribcage when he notices the dark bags under the other's eyes, the sickly paleness of his skin and the way he looks so much smaller, weaker than usual. The sweater he wears is too big on him - Taehyung recognizes it as one of his own. His black hair is disheveled and his eyes look tired. Taehyung gulps, painfully aware of the fact that Yoongi still hasn't opened the door all the way, that he's still hiding mostly behind it - as if he's shielding himself from Taehyung. Simultaneously, keeping him out of his apartment as well.

Taehyung watches as the other drops his gaze, his knuckles turning white from the force of the grip he has on the door. Suddenly, every word he prepared is stuck in his throat and he feels stupid. Too stupid. What did he even think he would achieve by suddenly turning up here out of the blue? Yoongi probably doesn't even want to see him. Or can't see him yet. They did agree on a week. Shouldn't he have respected that? He should have. He is so stupid.

"Hey..." Yoongi's whisper finally breaks the awkward silence between them. "It's been five days – not a week."

Oh and he's been right. Yoongi isn't ready to face him yet. He really shouldn't have come here.

"I know," He says quietly, averting his eyes. Yoongi is still hiding behind the door, only part of his upper body visible.

"Then what are you doing here?" Even though his words should sound accusing they don't. There's nothing in his voice that indicates that he is mad at Taehyung for showing up out of the blue, without notice beforehand. And normally, Yoongi hates surprise visits - he hates everything that comes as a surprise.

Taehyung gulps, staring at his own feet as he replies quietly. "Your friend is worried about you and I wanted to check. I know that this must be very hard for you, especially because you never talked about what happened with him but I – I don't want to pressure you into anything if you're not ready for it. So if you really don't want to talk about it then that's okay. That's okay and we can continue being together and all but we can't continue our D/S relationship."

"I know that," Yoongi sighs and then steps aside to open the door completely. "Can you come inside?"

Never in his life has Taehyung agreed to something this fast. He's almost stumbling over his own feet as he comes inside, following Yoongi to the elder's living room. He gestures for him to settle down on the couch and sits right next to him.

The scene is so similar to what happened five days ago in Taehyung's apartment but the whole atmosphere surrounding them is different. Completely different and it takes Taehyung a second to figure out the reason why. It's the simple fact that Yoongi doesn't look as tense as he did in his apartment. All the time Taehyung has thought that the other felt as comfortable in his apartment as he could be - just because they spend so much time there. But it seems like just the different setting had such a huge impact on Yoongi.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise. After all, Taehyung is also feeling the most comfortable in the safety of his own four walls - the same obviously goes for Yoongi. He should have approached the whole thing differently from the start. Maybe asking Yoongi in his own comfort zone is the right thing to do. Maybe Yoongi would only start getting out of his comfort zone to tell him the truth if he's right inside of it.

Yoongi sits facing the TV, right leg bouncing up and down as he keeps chewing on his lower lip. He doesn't look as uncomfortable as five days ago but the nervousness rolling off him is still very obvious. Taehyung doesn't feel any different.

"But I need it," Yoongi suddenly speaks up, "You know? I need it – I need both relationships and I thought a lot about it. I don't want to lose you and I think that you were right..." Taehyung holds his breath, refraining from cheering too soon. "But before I start you have to promise me something."

"Anything," Taehyung hurries to say.

"Don't make promises you can't hold in the end." He watches the way Yoongi nervously plays with the hem of his sweater - Taehyung's sweater, he corrects himself. "Promise me that you won't treat me differently, that you won't see me with different eyes and don't pity me. I'm more than my past and I want you to treat me like the person I am today and not what I'm going to tell you about. Please, promise me that you won't leave me after this..."

Taehyung doesn't even know how to put his feelings into words, how to make Yoongi understand how much he really loves him and that nothing could ever change that. Nothing that could come out of Yoongi's mouth could change that. He reaches out for him, reaches out to touch his face, to convey his feelings through actions and not words but the second Yoongi notices his movement he flinches back.

It hurts for the fraction of a second. Just a tiny bit but Taehyung gets it. He understands it. It's a stressful situation for Yoongi and sometimes even Taehyung couldn't touch him during something like this. Despite often being the only one able to calm him down there are times when everyone's touch makes Yoongi feel like tearing his own skin off. Taehyung gets it so he sits back down again.

"I would never leave you if you don't want me to," He says as earnestly as he could manage, "But if you tell me something about yourself that I didn't know about before I'm bound to change my image of you. That doesn't necessarily mean it's going to change in a bad way though. Just trust me."

Yoongi sucks in a short breath, closing his eyes briefly as he pinches the skin on his wrist between his trembling fingers. Taehyung patiently waits for him to gather enough courage to finally speak about what he doesn't want to face. "Okay..." He glances at Taehyung briefly before taking a deep breath.

"It's been two years already... I should be able to speak about it now," Yoongi pauses, clenching his hands, "My old Dom – He's not a good person and he's also not a good Dom and I should have left him. I should have never stayed with him for longer than a month or so but I did it. I did it and I..."

Taehyung would love to reach out and console him but he knows he can't. He knows that Yoongi would have to go through this alone and that there's nothing he could do but listen to him. "Take your time," He whispers.

Yoongi's voice trembles as he starts talking.

Finally, starts talking.