Following Dreda's advice, I rose from my bed early the next day and presented myself to Madam Rin, hoping to prove my resilience and desire to please. Throwing myself back into my work I forced myself to avoid the topic of my child entirely, though my thoughts were only of Mary. Was she safe with Dreda? Was she crying out for me? My desperation to see her again forced me to focus through my morning tasks.

The better I could perform, the more chance my work might be rewarded. But by the time I was granted a break, my entire physical body was crying out for relief and my heart aching to be reunited with the infant. I was uncertain how I might make it through the rest of the day. Still I tried to put on a brave face, taking my portion of midday sustenance and sitting at the table with as much composure as I could manage.

"I am impressed, Alice."

I started at the sound of my name, surprised to see Madam Rin standing beside me.

"One would never know you had just given birth."

I made every effort to sit up even straighter, her praise motivating me.

"I was eager to return to work," I replied. "I am so very grateful for my place within your kitchens and wished to prove myself worthy of your continued favor, Madam."

My answer was as submissive and obsequious as I could manage and, for a moment, I worried it might be excessive. But Rin was a woman who loved flattery. I could see the genuine smile on her face at my words. She was glad to have "broken" me and I was happy to stroke her ego if it might grant me my greatest wish.

"It is admirable," she replied. "I am so glad to see you returned to true servitude as is fitting for a human."

Well behaved human that I was, I didn't answer.

"I'd imagine you are also quite proud of the young one you have birthed," Rin commented, pausing long enough to make it clear she expected my response.

"Indeed I am grateful to have added a healthy girl to my Master's stock," I said. "I am eager that she might grow and soon come to be trained, as I was by my mother before me. I pray she will someday be able to take her place in the kitchens under your command."

As the sibla woman watched me closely I wondered what the result of this little dance might be. I knew well that she had full power over my life and that of my daughter. Dulane had offered Mary up as my charge, but my life was not my own. Madam Rin would wish to maintain as much control over me as she could and I would have to pretend to accept that without complaint.

"Perhaps you might desire to go to your baby?" she mused. "I certainly do hope that she will follow in your footsteps, especially with this renewed attitude. They say that young humans are greatly shaped by their early years much like sibla children."

My heartbeat quickened. I could not allow myself to seem too eager but I also wouldn't waste this chance to see my true wishes fulfilled.

"If you might permit me to do so, I can promise that my work will not suffer in any way, Madam," I answered. "I will visit my daughter only as much as you deem reasonable and will use that time to ensure your new kitchen slave is reared as she should be to best serve you and my Master."

I watched as Madam Rin pursed her thin lips together in thought as my reply and held my breath. I was doing everything to submit to her completely but had no way of knowing if it would be enough. Relief filled me when she nodded her head a moment later.

"I do see benefit to this," she said, as if talking about a business proposition, not the separation of mother and child. "You may go to the girl during your midday break. In addition, you are welcome to go to her before and after work, provided it does not interfere with your duties in any way."

I nodded my head solemnly but inside of my chest, I felt my heart rate finally slow, my stomach churning with a mix of relief and excitement.

"As this is your first day back and you have performed admirably, I will grant you the rest of the afternoon to visit the nursery barracks. Be certain to return in time to oversee dinner prep. Do not make me regret my generosity."

I felt my eyes open wide in disbelief at her words but I did my best to hide the shock as I bowed my head.

"Thank you, Madam," I answered solemnly. "I swear to you I will serve all the more gratefully for this generous gift."

Though I managed to contain my composure until the woman gave a curt nod, the moment she turned from me I was on my feet, stuffing the rest of my meal in my mouth as I went to clear my plate and hurry to my child.

————————
I was surprised to hear my name called out the moment I arrived at the collection of buildings where the youngest were housed and turned to see Dreda walking towards me.

"Alice," she said, "we've been expecting you."

Expecting me? I still was not certain I trusted the veracity of the older woman's words the night before. How might she have known that Madam would let me come to the nursery so soon?

Dreda's manner was brusque as she asked me to follow her inside and down the main hall into a large room that was bustling with humans of various ages, all tending to the young residents of the facility. We walked past the rows of plastic bassinets filled with infants, listening to the mixture of their cries and their human caretakers' gentile voices trying to offer comfort.

Along the sides of the room, I saw the few sibla women standing in watch over the proceedings. In the distance, I could hear the occasional shrieks and laughter of older children. I know that toddlers too would remain in the complex until they were old enough to be transferred to cages or to work assignments and beds in the main dorms.

Never before having been permitted to venture within the walls of the nursery buildings, I was overwhelmed by the chaos and the feelings inspired by seeing so many children confined together. Listening to the plaintive wails of the infants, something deep inside of me wished I could join in with them. I knew the fates they would all face. The fact that they would never know a true mother's love. The fact that many of them would not even make it past their first years of life.

Among the babies, each bassinet was marked by color to determine the gender of the child within, their weights and ages written on erasable boards mounted to the side. The information that Dulane's men would use to chose their victims for slaughter should a suckling human be requested for one of my Master's clients or his own table. The information that would send others to the vealer barn to spend the remainder of their days behind bars, living in misery until the knife might end their suffering. I tried not to look at the little faces, feeling my breath grow short with panic as I imagined my own child among them.

"Your daughter has already been separated from the rest," Dreda said, as if reading my thoughts. I was surprised to feel her hand on my arm for the briefest moment, pulling me close enough to pass a whispered message to my ears.

"Keep your strength, Alice, we can talk more easily when we are alone."

She released her grip and continued forward, past the overseers standing in watch, leading me to a sibla woman who was in the process of writing some sort of notes on a clipboard as she walked among the babies.

"Alice has been sent to see her young one, Ms. Garen," she said as if the fact meant nothing to her. "I had hoped to aid her in feeding the girl to ensure the infant is given enough to eat."

The overseer looked up from her work long enough to give me a cursory glance before nodding.

"She seems hearty enough for the task. You reported the baby fed well yesterday from this human's own milk?"

"She did," Dreda answered.

"And I assume you will return again tonight to offer your baby more sustenance?" the overseer asked, addressing me this time. "Rin has promised to share you a bit for the first month or so at least."

"In fact, I had thought it might be best for Alice to spend her evenings here while she is nursing," Dreda interjected before I could answer.

The sibla woman eyed me again.

"I can see no issue with that," she answered. "Perhaps she could even help you overnight with the others."

"I will do anything I can to make myself useful," I said, rejoining the conversation.

"So be it then," the overseer answered. "But be quick about your work now. Rin wanted her back in the kitchens before dinner."

Dreda quickly ushered me from the room and back to the corridor again, leading me down a maze of halls that brought us to a smaller, more cozy room. In one corner of the space I saw a cot, covered with a simple but pretty patchwork quilt. Beside the bed sat a wooden rocking chair and a small table with a lamp upon it. There was no crying to be heard here, the collection of bassinets gathered in the room were filled with babies who slumbered peacefully. All were being attended to by a young girl.

"They are the ones determined to be the most promising breeders," Dreda explained. "They are kept from the rest, given natural milk, and extra attention.

"Clara," she said, addressing the girl. "I assume the babies have all been changed?"

"I checked them all, Ma'am," the girl answered.
As the young face turned towards us I was filled with recognition.

"You are Miss. Alice!" The girl exclaimed, catching sight of me. It was then that I realized why the girl looked so familiar. This was Dreda's little messenger who had been sent to the kitchens on occasion to facilitate our covert exchanges when Lexia still run the main house. But she had grown quite a bit since I had last seen her.

"I'm sure Miss. Alice hardly recognizes you, Clara," Dreda said with a small laugh. "This young girl is one of my most trusted helpers here. There are few I would have selected to deliver my messages and packages safely from the kitchen."

Clara beamed with pride.

"One day, Clara will officially be assigned to the nursery and work with the children," Dreda continued. "She is a natural caretaker."

I tried to smile along with the girl and share in her happiness at Dreda's assessment, but I couldn't help the feeling of unease in my stomach at the older woman's words. Clara looked to be about 10 or 11 years old. It would not be until her first successful mating that a permanent assignment would be granted her.

I only hoped she would indeed be one of the lucky ones who made it to that point in life. That she would find some happiness in a task she enjoyed. Clearly she was one of Dreda's favorites. Would my child live long enough to see her place on Dulane's estate assured? I had never before had to worry about life other than my own. I was suddenly desperate to hold Mary close again. To feel assurance that she was strong and healthy.

"Why don't you leave us, Clara," Dreda said. "Alice is here to see her daughter and we must talk privately. You may play outside for a bit if you wish. Just be certain not to mention that you left the two of us alone, ok?"

The girl nodded.

"Come back when the little hand reaches the three," Dreda said, handing Clara a small pocket watch.

The girl nodded again and quickly disappeared out the door, closing it behind her.

"We have plenty of clocks here and all of the children who help in the nursery are trained how to tell time," Dreda explained. It is necessary to ensure the infants are fed on schedule. Clara is one of the most intelligent and clever assistants I have ever had. She will make certain to give us privacy when asked."

I nodded, trying to relax. Dreda's tone and energy had completely changed once again to resemble the easy affect she had taken the night before, speaking as if we were not strangers at all but close friends. Her sincerity seemed credible but it was still hard to fully trust. And why would she wish for use to be alone?

"Now let's get you settled," Dreda said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as she lead me to the rocking chair. "A perk of old age," she commented as I relaxed into the comfortable seat, padded with a soft cushion.

"Garen has favored me for some time and she has our Master's ear. She allowed me to make some requests to furnish my room properly over the years."

"Your room?" I asked, incredulous.

"Unofficially," she answered with a chuckle. "I gave up my bed in the dorms long ago. In return for my dedication to the young, I have been granted some privilege in outfitting this space as I choose. The most valued of the infants rest here by my side so I can keep closer watch upon them. Your daughter is among the select few deemed worthy of my resources, just as you once were."

My eyes opened wide. I had never really considered the possible hierarchy in care the young on Dulane's estate were given. I thought of my sons, condemned to cry along with the others of lesser value. Those whose life meant nothing more than the pounds they rapidly gained under profit driven feeding regiments. Had they ever even made it to the cages in the vealer barn? Or had a blade silenced their cries before words could even form on their lips...

"Your daughter is doing well," Dreda said pulling me from my dark thoughts, Mary in her arms. "She is of a good weight, strong and healthy."

As the child was passed to me I felt a calm wash over my body. My finger stroked the little cheek and the smile that came to my lips unbidden lit my entire being. I never thought I could feel this way about another. Staring into my daughter's eyes I felt nothing but awe for the tiny creature I had created. Disbelief that she was mine.

"Let's see if she will nurse," Dreda said, gently reminding me of my task. "You can't stay too long. If your coming here interferes with your duties in any way Rin will forbid you to return. It was hard enough for me to convince Garen that your presence was necessary."

I looked up from my child in surprise. "It was you?" I asked in confusion. Dreda nodded.

"I swear I have nothing but the interest of you and your daughter at heart," she said. "And I must admit, it will be nice to have your company for some time. There are few on this estate who understand positions like ours, Alice. I know that well. We can learn from each other in the time we have been so generously granted. I'm certain you will have some useful information to impart on the care of the children here. Perhaps some remedies to provide as you used to? I would expect nothing more than information. I will not ask you to overstep the bounds of your station in any way and risk your place. I, in turn, can help you learn how to tend your daughter.

I nodded, knowing I could hardly deny her. She held my daughter's life in her hands.

When Mary was through eating, Dreda taught me how to burp her and change her. How to swaddle her small form and rock her to sleep. In her patience and care I felt my heart swelling in spite of myself and when three o'clock arrived and Clara returned, I hurried back to the kitchen with more optimism than I 'd felt since I was a child. I had family again, a friend. As I worked through my chores I thought of nothing but the chance to escape back to the nursery.

*A/N

Well... Dreda seems to have quite a bit of power on the Dulane estate! Good thing she is an ally... for now 😅 Still, Alice correctly recognizes how much power the woman holds over Mary. Let's see how that plays out