Signs of spring began to break out all over the estate and soon young buds dotted the trees and grass. All seemed colorless to me, even the warmth of the sun and gentle blue skies unable to stir any happiness within. The land was coming from its winter slumber but I remained a sleepwalker. With Mary gone the world had lost all joy and fully waking myself to that reality was too painful.

    In the kitchen I worked in total silence, only opening my mouth to utter the occasional "yes, Madam," or force food past my lips. In my service under Dulane, I sought to be as invisible as possible, hoping to fade into the background and avoid his wrath. My efforts in dodging further abuse were futile.

Much as she had in my youth, Madam forced as many unpleasant and impossible tasks upon me to ensure my failure and an excuse for her to use her hands and baton liberally upon my flesh to correct perceived mistakes. Even as my most severe wounds began to crust over and scab, new bruises replaced them daily.  And then there was my time with my Master.

     I had always known him to be an imposing figure but I had never understood the depths of his cunning. His flair for cruelty. Arron Everett was an evil man, but at least he presented as such. Cedrick Dulane was an entirely different type of villain. A polished, composed, smiling gentleman, masking the true beast just beneath the surface. A monster always lying in wait, ready to pounce and devour his prey whole in one gulp as if it were nothing.

    Though my Master required little of me beside the order to remain by his side whenever I was called for, his forced company alone was agony. He was the evil that had taken all light from my world and still forced me to continue on in my pain for his own amusement. After a variety of hard slaps, my body became conditioned to tense in anticipation of a strike every time he raised his hand. Threats of further punishment wore at my sanity in a way I could never have imagined. And of course, there were his more creative ways of inflicting suffering upon me.

    "You do not belong among the sick, nor among the main flock," Dulane told me at the end of my first week in his personal servitude. "You are one of the lowest of my stock now and must have accommodations that are suitable for your position." Handing me a threadbare blanket and two dresses, my only possessions, I was sent to the secondary dorms.

    Everything on the Dulane estate was a hierarchy and our sleeping quarters were no exception. The main stock were permitted to enjoy some degree of comfort in a large building that was relatively well maintained. The mattresses were filled, the linens warm. Those residing in the main dorms were reproducing and thus worthy of care to protect the future stock residing in their wombs. But those in the secondary dorms were not so lucky.

    This building reserved for those who had either failed to produce well-formed offspring, were suspected of infertility, or had some other deformity that rendered them less "premium" compared to their counterparts in the main dorms. Humans assigned to the secondary barracks were one step from death. Everyone knew that those who could not properly contribute to the estate might look forward to months caged in the vealer barn, force-fed until they could gain enough pounds for slaughter or profitable sale. Assignment to the secondary dorms was a warning and the women who resided there were forced to face that reminder of their impending doom constantly. All were known to be on the lookout for ways to improve their standing, even if others might fall in the process.

    Walking across the estate, past my former residence, and continuing on to the decrepit building I would now call home, my stomach churned uncomfortably. I was too well known. All of the women who resided among the lowest of the Dulane estate would have resentment towards one like me, given status my whole life, protected and granted more opportunities than they could ever hope for.

    Though my mother had taught me to be grateful for my privilege, I had never had to truly consider what life might be without it. How those who had never even known the safety of the main house might hate me for every advantage I'd been granted since birth. Even in my lowest moments I had never before believed I was truly beyond rescue. Now I was thrown to a level below what I could ever have imagined facing in my lifetime and would have to confront realities I had been able to put from my mind in the past. I would know existence with no privilege.

    The door of the barracks creaked loudly when I opened it and I instantly felt eyes upon me. Lowering my gaze I let my eyes searching for a bed I might claim. I was exhausted and wanted no trouble. I could only hope that in keeping myself unobtrusive, I might be ignored. Spotting an empty cot in the back of the room I went to it as quickly as possible, laying out my bedsheets and storing my meager possessions beneath it.
   
The hour was late and the room dark, lit only by one bulb dangling from the ceiling to allow those arriving after dark the ability to find their way. As I lay upon my bed I found the mattress as inadequate as my blanket, lumpy and poorly filled. I could feel the metal bed frame beneath me, pressing into my body. My pillow was little more than a flat piece of cloth, but I did my best to fluff it and rest myself face down, the sores on my back far too sensitive to lay on such an uncomfortable surface. It wasn't until I turned my head to the side that I saw the figure at the door. I stared at the red-haired halo illuminated by the pale light, my eyes traveling down the length of her body to see the limb covered in a sock, the foot that was missing, weight balanced upon a toeless heal.

    I immediately shrunk in on myself, trying to disappear beneath the thin blanket that covered me. It seemed my pleas to allow Rebecca to return to the flock had been heeded. She had regained a spot in the dorms. Now I would be forced to share space with a woman I had singlehandedly destroyed.
   
Rebecca crossed the length of the room and I was impressed to see how well she moved in spite of the missing limb. I wondered how much she knew of my part in her downfall. I wondered how much danger I was in residing beside her.
   
The woman must have felt my gaze upon her. A moment later her head turned, eyes locking with mine. My heart beat unevenly in my chest, waiting for her to confront me, to laugh at my pathetic form. But though she clearly recognized my face, Rebecca merely stared and then went about her own business, undressing for bed and taking her place beneath the covers on a bed across the room. Still, my body could not relax. It seemed Dulane was not content to destroy me in my waking hours. Now he had surrounded me with enemies in my place of rest as well.