"You're late."

    The sharp rebuke greeted me the moment I came down the stairs and descended into the kitchen. Rin's eyes trained on my form as I took up my apron.

    "I beg your forgiveness, Madam," I said quickly, my gaze lowered in pure deference. "It was not my intent to offend. I will ensure dinner is ready on time."

    "Humph," she grunted, apparently accepting my apology. "Hattie, Alice can now take your place. Let's see if we can't pick up the pace. Can't disappoint our Master now can we?"

    A shiver traveled through me as her rhetorical question echoed in my ears. I had already transgressed beyond imagining. My Master was beyond disappointment.

    Hattie gave me a dirty look as I relieved her of her position as head of preparations, though I tried to offer her a sympathetic smile. The last thing I needed now was more enemies. But of course she had no idea how far I had fallen today. None of them seemed to. It didn't give me much hope. Dulane could be a cruel man when he wished. It was all too likely that he was biding his time now, waiting for me to stew in my own terror before taking action and proclaiming my downfall and punishment publically.

    With dinner plated and sent upstairs, I went to work cleaning, moving through the kitchen without thinking.

    Finish your work. Act as if everything is normal...

    These two thoughts repeated over and over in my head, drowning out all other thought. I knew Mary was taking dinner with her sibla companion in town but I was desperate to see her. My time on earth had been so drastically shortened and she had no idea. The world had changed and she was oblivious. Perhaps it was for the best. She could enjoy her innocence just that much longer.

———
    It was late when I next saw my child, my Mistress and her daughter not returning to the estate until the sun had long set and the kitchen was nearly cleaned. Mary bounded down the stairs with unbridled excitement, running to me, eyes bright.

    "You'll never believe the day I had Mama!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around me as I bent to offer her a quick hug.

    The irony of her words struck me like a sharp punch, though I forced myself to smile at her happiness. Mary's day had been filled with wonder but all that was over now. After what I'd done there was no way she would ever be allowed such luxury again. I was tainted. As my daughter, Mary would be seen as tainted as well. I only hoped her young mistresses' love might protect her from too much harm. It was bad enough she was about to lose her mother without her losing her own favor as well. She'd done nothing wrong! I knew it wouldn't matter. Because of my mistakes, Mary would suffer one way or another and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

    "I'm so glad you had such a wonderful time," I said, masking the tears that threatened. "Now why don't you help me finish up here, Mary? Then you can tell me all about it later."

    The smile dropped from her face and I felt a new pang in my heart. She wanted my enthusiasm to match her own and, just hours ago, it would have. But now I could barely keep myself from breaking down entirely. Hearing of her happiness was too much. I took a deep breath and tried again to summon cheer for my child's sake.

    "I promise when we get back to the dorms I will listen to all your tales," I said, hoping my tone was more encouraging this time. "Truly I can hardly wait. Mama has just had a long day."
   
Mary smiled a more muted smile this time and nodded her head. "Thank you for letting me play all day, Mama," she said in her most serious voice. "I'm sorry if you needed me and I wasn't here."

    Wisdom so beyond her years. Guilt I'd never intended to cause. Mary deserved every ounce of her happiness for as long as it might last. This time I smiled genuinely at the wonder of my little girl. She was so smart, so kind, so loving. Even if we might only have hours left together, we would make the most of them.

    "No, my little Mary," I answered, shaking my head. "You did exactly as you were meant to do. You served Miss Avaline and made her happy. And we were just fine in the kitchen, though of course, all missed having you here to brighten our day."

    The wide grin returned to my child's face and she quickly picked up a dishrag from the counter and took her place by my side.

    "I'm glad I'm back," she said, accepting a dish I handed her to dry. "I liked the city but I missed you. And Lina too!"

    My heart shattered yet again though I forced the mask of my smile to remain affixed to my lips. I thought of Lina laying in Dreda's bed, broken and bruised. Just as innocent as Mary. I could only hope Dulane might direct his anger at me alone and spare the poor girl. Focusing on washing dishes I was grateful that Mary did not ask where her friend was, nor see the cracks of pain I was certain must be showing through my disguise.
——
    Working in relative silence we completed our tasks quickly and I left Hattie and another trustworthy girl of my team to finish up while Mary and I went back to the dorms. My daughter chatted happily the whole way, relaying tales of buildings as tall as the sky and the delicious food she and her Masters had enjoyed.

    "They let me stay right by the table!" Mary exclaimed happily. "Miss Avaline even let me eat scraps from her plate."

    Scraps. That was all a human could ever hope for in this world. As I listened to my child's excitement I was filled with a sense of injustice of how little we were taught to hope for in our lives and even that could be ripped away so easily.
   
The rebellion of my youth stirred within me, angry that Mary should have to be so grateful for fickle love of her Masters. Angry that despite her undying loyalty, she would only be rewarded with pain. Worse, I would not be there to help her. I would be ripped away for one infraction. Her best friend might be slaughtered for an accident Dulane had caused himself in terrifying a child. Still, I let Mary's happy babbling continue on, smiling and nodding at the appropriate moments though the words barely registered in my uneasy mind.

    It was only after we were showered and settling into our beds that Mary seemed to take note of Lina's absence.

    "Shouldn't she be here already?" Mary asked, her little brow furrowing with concern.

    "Lina is staying in the nursery tonight," I answered evasively. Mary nodded.

    "I'm sure Miss Dreda has missed her," she said. "I'm glad they get to be together."

    There was more truth in her words than she knew. I too was grateful the two might spend a night together in peace, even if Lina was suffering so much through it all. It might be the last chance they got to be together before...

    "What's wrong Mama?" Mary asked, interrupting my thoughts. She was focused on my intently now, clearly seeing the sadness I couldn't quite hide. I didn't have it in my heart to tell her. To explain why Lina would not be coming back to the dorms that night. To admit that I might soon disappear and there would be nothing either of us could do about it. Instead, I forced the same false smile I'd been working to maintain and shook my head.

    "Nothing you need worry about, my love," I said, ruffling her hair affectionately. "It's just been a long day. For both of us! I'm certain you are tired after so much excitement." Mary nodded and I grabbed her up in a tight embrace, grateful she didn't resist, instead, wrapping her arms around me just as tight. It was as if some part of her knew I needed her comfort though I refused to admit it aloud.

    "How would you like to sleep in my bed tonight, Mary?" I asked.

    The confusion in her face was clear. I'd been trying to help Mary transition into a more adult position on the estate for some time now and had long forbidden her from sleeping by my side even if she had nightmares. But after a moment she smiled broadly and gave me another a big hug, accepting my treat without question.

    "Thank you, Mama!" she said, climbing into the bed and eagerly snuggling by my side.

    I remember how hard it was to sleep that night, even with Mary's small form wrapped peacefully in my arms. In my mind, I replayed what had happened over and over again. I thought of Lina, lying in her own bed all alone though she herself was still a child and had been so badly abused. I thought of Dreda and the pain in her face at the knowledge that she'd nearly lost one she cared so much about. The fear that she might lose her still. Feeling the weight of reality so heavily on my shoulders I was glad when my busy mind finally tired itself out and I fell into slumber as I counted the rhythmic breaths of my little girl beside me.