This Oc belongs to GatekeeperOfThunder

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Name: Creekdusk
That's pretty unique! I don't hear Creek- used that often. And -dusk is one of my favorite suffixes.

Past Names: Creekkit, Creekpaw
Yup

Name Reason: Creek is because his last Clan loved water, and Dusk is for the ginger specks on his fur and his amber eyes.
Uhh I'm not really sure what the reason for Creek is saying. Did his mother name him after the Clan's preferences or did the whole Clan actually name him?? Hopefully this will be explained in the backstory. The reason for dusk is fine though.

Appearance: Creekdusk is a stocky white tom with ginger spots along his back. His fur sheds water easily from eating lots of fish. His eyes are amber.
Alright, not a bad first description, but I would like more info. Since his fur sheds water, you could add in details like "sleek" or "oily". I like that he's stocky, but I want his fur length to be listed. Otherwise it's pretty good :)

Gender: Male

Age: 25 moons
Oh, he's pretty young. I'm not gonna expect too long of a backstory then.

Personality: Creekdusk is decisive, quiet, and serious. He prefers to work in the background and would rather not be noticed by most cats. He tends to make smart remarks about other cats, though he doesn't voice them. He has a bit of a temper, and doesn't like being told he can't do something, though he avoids doing some things because it would be difficult.
Oooh, I like this personality! He doesn't seem particularly nice or kind, which is the most common archetype for Ocs. It's interesting to have a character who isn't as mainstream, tbh he seems like someone who doesn't get along well with others.

Sexuality: Straight

Clan: His clan is CypressClan. Their camp is in the center of a ring of tall rocks, and a pond sits in the middle with another rock in the pond, which is where the leader speaks from. Kits learn to swim in the pond. Their dens are accessed through tunnels under the rocks. There's a pathway that leads to the top of the rock formation, which is where the warriors keep watch. The main entrance/exit is a tunnel that branches off into other tunnels which lead all over the territory. They eat whatever they can get their paws on (minus crowfood and kitty pet food) as they all came from different backgrounds. It was founded by Creekdusk's friend Cypressstar.
Wow, the camp sounds really unique! I don't think I've heard of one quite like this before. The only thing I have to comment on is that I personally hate clans being named after their founder. Like, for some reason it really bothers me, so I would change the name to reflect the territory or something. The naming after leader thing really only bothers me with characters alive during the time of said leader though, because it feels very egotistical and cringe.

Also you didn't list anything about the actual territory, so that needs to be fixed. Since kits learn to swim I'm assuming there's a nearby water source they could hunt fish from, otherwise it'd be kind of useless.

Rank: Warrior

Kin:
Mother- His Mother is Echolight, a fluffy white she-cat with yellow eyes.
Why is her name Echo? I see a lot of people use this prefix and I can't think of a reason why other than it's aesthetic.

For her appearance, I like it but it needs more detail.

Father - His Father is Poincethistle, a short furred ginger tom with green eyes.
I looked up Poince and didn't find anything, so I'm assuming this is just Pounce- misspelled XD. Personally I never understood why people use verbs as prefixes, it just doesn't make much sense. Like, kits aren't that active until a few weeks after birth, and even then they can't move around well until like 1 moon old. To fix this, you could just swap the name order to "Thistlepounce". His appearance is fine, but again needs more detail like Echoflight.

Creekdusk gets the amber eyes from his grandmother, Dappledsky.
Ooh, I like that you included this detail! Is his grandmother from his mom or dad's side? Also since you bothered to have her I would list a description next time.

He has younger siblings, Willowpaw, Shellpaw, and Brackenpaw.
That's nice, but where the heck are their descriptions???

Crush: Tinyleaf. Tinyleaf is am abnormally small black she-cat with a white stomach and blue eyes.
Hm, I kind hate the prefix Tiny- but it does make sense. I wonder why her suffix is -leaf though. Her appearance needs a bit more detail (like fur texture), but genetically it actually makes sense because she has white to back up her blue eyes. Not that I really care about that, I just thought it was cool.

Mate: None.

Kits: None.
K

Apprentice: Dustpaw. Dustpaw is a short-furred gray tom with white white specks and green eyes. Dustpaw is a handful, and has an attitude.
Appearance needs more detail, per usual.

He's gone through mentor after mentor, as each one had gone back to the leader claiming that Dustpaw is "unteachable". Creekdusk is Dustpaw's last chance to train as a warrior, but the small tom isn't too fond of his mentor, at least not at first.
Oh, wow. He must be really problematic to keep switching mentors, that rarely happens in Warriors. I wonder why.

Other: Creekdusk doesn't speak. He communicates through tail flicks, ear twitches, stance, eye movement, and paw movement. He still purrs and hisses, though he has a variety of hisses. Some hisses are only to show his annoyance and not aggression, while others are his way of getting another cat's attention.
Omg that's so cool!! I wish this could've been done for cats like Snowkit :(

Backstory:
Creekdusk's life was relatively normal until he was apprenticed. Being mentored by, Feathersong, a serene and kind she-cat, Creekpaw's quiet yet harsh nature was balanced out nicely.
Wait I just realized, why isn't Feathersong listed at a mentor with a description?? And I like that his personality was taken into account, you rarely get that with Warriors.

During his apprenticeship, a rogue by the name of Cedar turned the Clans to the Dark Forest, with his fellow rogues assisting in each Clan by feeding lies to the Clan they'd been accepted into. While Cedar said the Dark Forest would take apprentices as well as warriors, the Clans weren't entirely certain, and forbade their apprentices from going.
Ummm seems like a very odd plot. How tf do random rogues know about the Dark Forest, let alone enough to train their regularly and infiltrate the clans?? Also seems incredibly unrealistic that the leaders of all the clans would be like "Cool, we've abandoned our religion to become Satanists. Except for kids lolol :DD."

Medicine cats weren't allowed to communicate with StarClan, and the Warrior Code began to mean less and less. StarClan didn't really have any hope for the Clans, and so, they called apprentices from each Clan to take their fellow apprentices and the kits to a new home, where they could rebuild the Clans.
I hate this idea. You're telling me NOT ONE adult cat was against the Dark Forest?? Not to mention the parents having their kits stolen away from them?? And then it'd be children raising children which is kind of unfair and they would all have to *ahem* reproduce at some point, so I guess their better be some dating between the apprentices. Also they would have an apprentice as a leader, which is incredibly stupid for obvious reasons. They would also only be able to take kits already weaned or they would die.

Tinypaw, one of Creekpaw's good friends, was called by StarClan to lead her Clan to the new territory. Assisted by Applepaw, Tinypaw's best friend, Tinypaw gathered her fellow apprentices and explained to them what StarClan had asked. Creekpaw agreed, as did the other apprentices. After some planning, they stole the kits and headed for the Gathering Place, where they were supposed to meet the other apprentices. There, Creekpaw met Cypresspaw, who would eventually become his best friend, and Cherrypaw, who would leave a major impact on his life.
Mhm okay. I wonder what's so special about Tinypaw.

The apprentices from the other Clans soon arrived, and together, the group- dubbed ApprenticeClan by the rather uncreative apprentices (AkA, I had no other ideas for what to call it when I planned it, and kinda abandoned this plot)- set off for their new home.
I mean, they didn't have to have a name for themselves, but if you want a different name they could also be Refugees, Pioneers, Pilgrims, Asylum, etc.

Along the way, Cypresspaw stood out as a natural leader, and after some squabbles, the apprentices agreed that he was, for the purpose of their journey, their leader.
Alright.

Creekpaw soon became known for having a sharp tongue, when he did speak. This got him into many minor fights with the other apprentices
OH, so he used to speak a little. Non-verbal cat?

Especially Cherrypaw and Skypaw(who is half-deaf, and just as harsh).Half-way through the journey, Creekpaw and Cherrypaw got into a MAJOR fight. Creekpaw was even harsher than normal, (though, I'll admit Cherrypaw was a bit harsh too.) and the fight caused a rift between them, and smaller spats resulted throughout the day. Then, Cherrypaw died. She slipped off a cliff after sending a pointed glare at Creekpaw and loudly proclaiming that she could make a jump none of the others wished to attempt. She DID make the jump, but the other side was too slippery, and she fell to her death. The kit she had been carrying, Brackenkit, fell with her.
WTF. Okay I have some shit to say about this. First of all, why exactly were they fighting? I feel like the reason might make this make more sense. Second of all, that's on Cherrypaw for risking a kit's life in her quest to be petty. Even if she thought she could make it, the fact that she let her anger make her reckless with someone else's life says something.

Creekpaw felt horrible, and for days on end he blamed himself for the death of Cherrypaw and Brackenkit. He refused to listen to anyone who said otherwise, instead snapping at them and saying that if he hadn't told her she "couldn't (blank)" multiple times, she wouldn't have done it.
Couldn't what? Jump???

Finally, the group came to a place to make a temporary camp, and warriors of StarClan appeared to them. The oldest apprentices received their full names. Creekpaw became Creekdusk. At this time, Creekdusk vowed that after his vigil, he would forever retain his silence, due to now knowing the power of words and the impact they can have on a fellow cat. And true to his vow, he refused to verbally answer questions the next morning.
Oh, okay so he took a vow.

Creekdusk was lucky, however, that Tinypaw knew him well enough to be able to somewhat read his body language. Cypresspaw, who had become Cypresswatcher, learned quickly, and was also able to somewhat communicate with Creekdusk. The two had been friendly before, but because Cypresswatcher was now one of the only cats he could communicate with, Creekdusk and Cypresswatcher became fast friends. Though it was a struggle, and many of the other cats became more annoyed with Creekdusk than ever, Creekdusk maintained his silence all the way through the journey.
Aw :( You stand up for what you believe in Creekdusk.

"ApprenticeClan" finally reached their new territory, and unanimously voted Cypresswatcher to be their leader. Cypresswatcher became Cypressstar, promoted the younger apprentices to Warriors, and had the Medicine Cats promote the younger Medicine cats.
Wait the Medicine cats came with them?? Did I freaking miss that??

*checking*

OKAY NO I DIDNT. THIS DOESNT MAKE SENSE WHY DIDNT THE MED CATS JUST LEAD THEM???

Cypressstar named Skysight his Head Advisor (Advisors are their equivalent of a deputy(they have multiple, one from each rank, so a Head Advisor is specifically selected to follow in the leader's pawsteps)).
Why did they change the the rank system, I thought the point was to build a clan like the originals. And by one from each rank, does that mean there's a med. cat, warrior, elder, and queen advisor?? Also I'm guessing the Head Advisor is always a warrior because the other ranks wouldn't make sense to be leaders.

After the chaos of building the camp, Creekdusk decided it was time to let Tinyleaf know how he felt(She'd learned how to accurately read his emotions and Creekdusk was certain he would be able to convey what he meant).
I just realized even though the form says so, I didn't see him having a crush on her before this point in the backstory.

But, he realized Tinyleaf liked Applecloud. Being respectful of the small she-cat, he said nothing, and attempted to bury his feelings.
Aw, sad.

Creekdusk went about his life as normal as he could, ignoring the growing distrust and annoyance from the other cats, until Cypressstar, the only other cat able to accurately read his emotions, gave Creekdusk and apprentice.
What, they all hate him because he doesn't talk?? What assholes lmao.

Creekdusk hadn't wanted to take on an apprentice, and Cypressstar had to practically force Creekdusk to accept Dustpaw. On top of that, Dustpaw was a big pawful. No one else would take him, because of the young tom's attitude.

Creekdusk accepted the young apprentice as his own, and did his best to train Dustpaw. As Dustpaw's last hope, Creekdusk was determined to make his apprentice into a warrior- hoping to improve his own Clan standings in doing so.
Makes sense.

Dustpaw made life difficult for Creekdusk, but Creekdusk was stubborn and refused to have his apprentice thrown out.
Lmao sounds like a good relationship.

Then, one day, Dustpaw was responsible for the death of a senior warrior. He didn't actually kill the warrior, but because he wasn't where he was supposed to be, the warrior died.
Uh... details?? How am I supposed to understand this???

ALSO Creekdusk is 25 Moons and was one of the first cats to receive his warrior name when they settled. And since only apprentices and kits were taken, no one is even close to being a "senior warrior".

The Clan was about to throw Dustpaw out, but Creekdusk wasn't going to let that happen.

Creekdusk broke his silence in defense of Dustpaw, and got himself kicked out in the process. But, Dustpaw remained and was apprenticed to someone else.
Srysly. That's so fucking unfair, why would they kick him out if they were gonna keep Dustpaw???

After a moon, Dustpaw saught Creekdusk out and asked the older tom why Creekdusk had bothered to keep him around. Nothing came of this, though, because Dustpaw had neglected to actually pay attention during the time he was supposed to be learning to communicate with his mentor. So Dustpaw returned without answers.
.... So he didn't learn anything? Why would Creekdusk defend him if Dustpaw couldn't even learn from or understand him. Also why didn't they switch Dustpaw sooner if he literally couldn't learn from Creekdusk at all.

After recruiting Tinyleaf, Dustpaw went back, and asked again. With Tinyleaf 'translating' for the two, Creekdusk explained that he wasn't about to give up on Dustpaw just because the young tom hadn't quite learned to control his words and attitude, because he himself had been harsh with his words.
Alright, classic "you remind me of myself when I was young". I'm kind of confused on how that meaning was gotten across though, because I thought that Creekdusk just conveyed his general emotions with signals, but does he actually have a whole sign language??

Dustpaw returned to the Clan and told Cypressstar that it had, in fact, been his fault that the warrior had died. Cypressstar said he'd had suspicion, but had a soft spot for the young tom, and on top of that, he figured Creekdusk had his reasons for standing up for the apprentice.
Slight error I think, because Cypressstar is supposed to be a "she". Also... did Dustpaw just completely deny responsibility before??

Cypressstar took Dustpaw, Skysight, and Tinyleaf to find Creekdusk and bring him back to the clan.
Ummmm... Why was he kicked out in the first place then?? Nothing changed except maybe Dustpaw explaining Creekdusk's reasoning, but then why not ask him yourself?

After Creekdusk's return, life in the clan was even harder for the tom, and Dustpaw was punished severely, but at Creekdusk's pleading, Dustpaw was allowed to continue training under Creekdusk.
So, Dustpaw is being punished again? I literally cannot figure wtf Cypressstar is thinking.

When Dustpaw finally had grown to respect Creekdusk, the young tom and his mentor quickly grew to understand one another, so well in fact, that it almost appeared the apprentice could read his mentor's mind.
Uh-huh.

Creekdusk is still mentor to Dustpaw, and he couldn't be prouder of his apprentice, who, unknown to Creekdusk, wishes to take on -creek as a suffix.
That's sweet, but Dustcreek doesn't sound like a very good name XD How about something similar to -creek, like stream, river, or pool?

Review:

Appearance:
All the appearances given in the form were good, they just needed more detail. However, some appearances were NOT given like Creekdusk's mentor and his friends (would've been helpful to know what anyone besides Tinyleaf looked like). You need to include those missing descriptions and work on some more details for the one's given. Creekdusk's was actually pretty good but it felt like just a little was missing, maybe give him some scars and some more fur detail like I mentioned earlier.

Personality:
I actually really liked Creekdusk's personality! You don't see too many surly OC's, or really anything that's not "kind and brave", so this was kind of a breath of fresh air. I can't think of too much to criticize on this point, except maybe going into more on why he doesn't talk. I think it would be great if you did a little research and actually made him non-verbal/autistic, as there's not much representation for those kinds of characters in the Warriors fandom. I know it can be kind of daunting for people who are not any of those things (I've been scared to do this before for fear of being offensive), but I think it's better to try than just avoid it, like in any media. Of course, you don't have to do this if this is just a character for your own enjoyment, but if you're thinking of writing a fanfic I think you should definitely have a diverse cast of characters.

Clan:
I really liked the camp description, but the actual clan is where I have some issues. 

First of all, the territory needs to be described, and should also probably include some landmarks, like Sunning Rocks or the Great Oak in canon. I wish the dens were also described bit more, like where each one is in the camp. The stones surrounding the camp is kind of unrealistic, so maybe add something else in to balance that out. Like maybe they're next to a cliff or there's multiple smaller  stones in the camp as well. Since the exit/entrance is also through a tunnel, I got the impression there's not enough space between the stones to leave and climbing over would be to exhausting, so I think the stones should be described more so the tunnel makes more sense. The stone in the middle of the pond is also a neat idea, but a little confusing. How does the leader reach the stone? Is it short enough to jump? If so, then the pond seems like it'd be too small to actually swim in. Maybe change the pond into a landmark that's near camp and have the leader's speaking place just be one of the multiple stones in camp like I suggested. ALSO I want to know where their Moon- place is, where they would communicate with StarClan.

The next thing I have issue with, is the name. Now, this is more personal preference but I really don't like reading stories where a clan is just formed and it's name is the same as the current leader. It just feels so cringe and stupid to me, so out of that I would suggest changing it. I think I said this earlier, but the clan could be named after something in their territory instead.

The last part I didn't understand/like is why CypressClan has different ranks from the past clans. Were they trying to change the system since the last one didn't work?? I need the reasoning and function of the ranks to be explained a more, also consider adding in a revised warrior code or something so that the difference feels more realistic instead of one added rank.

Backstory: 
I like the backstory, but I still had a few problems with it. 

The first is that I really don't like that only kits and apprentices made the journey. I feel like that's an incredibly unrealistic choice considering older warriors should be much less susceptible to manipulation by the dark forest (as they are in the canon books- ignoring Thornclaw that shit made no sense) and younger warriors are actually more susceptible. I was also kind of confused if the medicine cats had gone with them, it seemed like it later in the story but at the beginning it was never established. Anyways to fix this, I would say the kits, parents of kits, most apprentices, some warriors, most older warriors, elders, medicine cats, and most leaders should make the journey to leave. For leaders, I can see if maybe a few were corrupted (Tigerstar 1 does exist afterall) but the rest I think should oppose the Dark Forest and be like usurped from their clans or something. Which brings me to my next point.

More before the journey!! I like this story and I would like to see more about the buildup to the clans being corrupted by the Dark Forest. How exactly did the rogues know about the DF and become allied with them? How did they convince the clans to become basically Satanists, because that would be a very hard job if someone went into a Christian church XD. I'm guessing the corruption took at least a year or something, but I would like to see how Creekdusk's kithood and apprenticehood were affected by this and how he saw cats change around him, namely his parents since they didn't go on the journey. Oh, also he was mentioned to have little siblings, but since he was only an apprentice when he left were they born after the journey? I'm assuming he never met them or knew about them. Overall though, I would like a lot more about the beginning part of this story and how his clan specifically was affected. 

Next, the journey itself and foundation of the new clan. Tbh I don't care too much about the journey (we all hate traveling books anyways), but I do really want to see how Creekdusk becomes freinds with new cats and how leaving his home and parents affects him. If the stuff with Cherrypaw was more explained, I think it would've had a much bigger impact as well. Also we could've seen his other friends beside Tinyleaf.

For the stuff with Dustpaw, the only thing that confused me was the leader kept switching opinions. I think it needs to be better explained what was going on and what the leader was told/understood because honestly it was kind of frustrating to read. Also Dustpaw should've learned how to understand Creekdusk because otherwise how was he learning from him.

But that's it! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed my review! 💕🙌

Gin~