This Oc belongs to @MayleeRichardson

Name ~ Owlfeather
Nice and simple 👍

Past Names ~ Owlkit, Owlpaw
Makes sense

Name Reason ~ Her fur looked like a long-eared owl.  When her mother was an apprentice, she saw a huge owl resting in a crow's nest.  She never forgot it, and thought her daughter looked like it.
Alright, I like it!

Appearance ~ A big brown tortoiseshell cat.  She has large full yellow eyes with a big tail and large paws. 
By big tail I'm guessing you mean long and fluffy

She has large whiskers and long fur.  Like a Maine coon.  Her fur is basically a tortoiseshell and white but instead of white, is pale brown.  Instead of orange, is dark brown.  Instead of black, is a mix between the pale and dark brown. 
I've seen brown tortoiseshell designs before so I can envision this pretty clearly

And she has white dots on her body, making her look more like the owl. 
Instead of dots I might change it to streaks in her tortoiseshell coat but that's just a suggestion to make it a little less on the nose

She can easily swim so her fur is like a raincoat.
It mentioned Maine Coon so I'm guessing that's her breed? If so consider adding more detail about her size and other things relating to Maine Coons

Gender ~ Female, she-cat
Nice

Age ~ 63 moons old when she died.
Wow, that's young, she had a lot longer to go 😔

Personality ~ Hateful, vicious, glutton, annoying, loving toward family, brave
This is a bit confusing since it's just a bunch of traits thrown together. Consider explaining each one more, and by glutton I'm guessing you mean she eats a lot.

Sexuality ~ Straight
Okay

Clan ~ Place of no stars.  She used to be in RiverClan
Nice 👍 Also Forest or Lake Territory?

Rank ~ Warrior
Alright

Mother ~ Foxcatcher.
Isn't that what Foxleap wanted his name to be as an apprentice? 😂

When her mom was an apprentice, she was very fierce and brave, so one time she tried to kill a fox but failed.  But since she was alone, she told her clan she had killed a fox.  That's when she was made a warrior.
That seems.... just odd I guess. She could've probably achieved the same effect by saying she chased it off or something since I assume it ran away (elaborated on in review). Also I need a description here

Father ~ Alderclaw.  His father died in battle when he was just a kit, and his name was Whiteclaw.  So the leader gave him his fathers second name.
Ok. From this point on just know they all need descriptions since *cough* it's in *cough* the form *cough*

Siblings ~ Minnowkit.  When he was born, he was very small, earning him the name Minnowkit.  He died when he was just a kit because of a coyote,
Uhhh that's unrealistic since coyotes live in like prairies.

when him and Owlkit snuck out of camp. 
I hope I get to hear how exactly Minnowkit was killed but Owlkit survives.

It was a lone one, and thankfully, they haven't seen one since.  But no one had saw one before that, that's why nobody had believed Owlkit when she said a "weird looking dog" attacked Minnowkit. 
Pretty sure they'd be able to smell an animal and what else would they think killed Minnowkit 🙄

She had an idea what dogs looked like from elders' stories.
Alright this gets a pass

Mate ~ Applefang.  Well he's her past mate.  Once she had her kits at 36 moons, she fell away from them.  She loved them very much, but worried that she wouldn't be a good mother.  Her mate broke up with her because of this.
Again, hope it's all explained in backstory

Edit: I just realized she doesn't have her kits listed 🤦‍♀️

Mentor ~ Mapledawn. 
Aww I used to have an Oc named Mapledawn <3
She was a good mentor but very, very stern.  If Owlpaw didn't bury her prey right, she yelled at her.
That seems less stern and more captious. I'd change "yell" to "scold" or something.

She's like this because her apprentice before Owlpaw died in battle, and she doesn't want Owlpaw to face any hardships.
Alright makes sense

Apprentice ~ None.  Nobody trusted Owlfeather with their kits after she basically disowned hers.
Yeah that makes sense

Backstory ~ Owlkit was born to Foxcatcher and Alderclaw.  Her parents loved eachother very much, and never told eachother any lies. 
That seems like a weird detail to add but 🤷‍♀️

She had a litter mate, Minnowkit.  He was unusually small and when she could hear, she could hear her mother telling her worries to the leader and Alderclaw.  Around a moon old, when Minnowkit and Owlkit were old enough to run around,
MMM YES FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKIN' REALISTIC GROWTH

two more kits were born.  Applekit and Silverkit.  Owlkit and her brother almost never left the nursery because the kits looked so weird.  Their eyes were glued shut and their ears were hugging their heads.  They couldn't speak either, only barely move around.  Then a moon later, they started to play around and all the kits had a great time.  One night, Owlkit snuck out of camp with Minnowkit.  They had an encounter with a large dog-like creature.  It was very aggressive and had killed Minnowkit while Owlkit hid in a bush. 
I'm surprised it didn't bother looking for her

When she was sure the creature was gone, she ran to camp and yowled in fear so everyone woke up.  After the incident her father hated her, but her mother believed her.
Wow, okay what a stuck up bitch

But the mother is <3

Then Owlkit became an apprentice, alone.  Mapledawn was her mentor.  Owlpaw was nervous because she knew Mapledawn's other apprentice had passed.  Mapledawn made sure to make her a great warrior, and showed no forgiveness if Owlpaw did the slightest thing wrong. 
Uhhh, sure, great mentor

At the end of Owlpaw's apprenticeship, a border fight happened.  Owlpaw wanted to make her mentor proud and wanted to became a great warrior, so she got into a fight with another apprentice.  When the battle was over, the apprentice could barely walk and his mentor had to drag him back to camp after they retreated
..... no comment

Owlpaw got her warrior name, Owlfeather.  But then later at a gathering, it was revealed the apprentice died from his injuries and Owlfeather, didn't feel bad.
No one in her clan cared?? I'm concerned

Not soon after that, Applepaw became Applefang and they became great friends.
I'm pretty sure they were already friends before that

15 moons after that, they became mates. 
Oh damn that's a long time to wait.

3 moons after that she became pregnant.
Seems much sooner since they waited so long to be mates

Then at 36 moons, she had her kits. 
A good age to have kits, and that means she got pregnant at 34

She loved them so much, but then 2 of them snuck out of camp.  She couldn't handle losing one of them after she lost her brother, so she distanced herself away.
Uh, they're all fucking alive though. Literally why would she even have kits if she was gonna ignore them

She barely even talked to them at at 5 moons she moved back to the Warrior den. She said they were old enough to have their own nest.  Everyone saw how she treated them poorly and didn't have a love for anyone anymore, so she didn't get an apprentice. 
Ok so far this is really stupid, her kits sneak out once and she just completely shuts down form everyone, even her mate??

Applefang stopped being her mate because she did that, and then the camp got raided.  Her mother, Foxcatcher, was killed so Owlfeather was enraged.
Ok

Once she saw that WindClan warrior rip her mother's throat out, she attacked him.  She showed him no mercy and had killed him, scaring off the other cats.
Well yeah, he killed her mom

He was the WindClan deputy, so the other cats were heartbroken.  His body was just there, and Owlfeather took it upon herself to dump his body in the lake.
Oh, this is the lake territories. I thought it was forest. Also all of WindClan seriously just let her dump the body in the lake??

Her kits and everyone in the clan was scared of her, and that made her heartbroken. 
*cries*

She had to blame the fault on someone else, so she did it to her leader.

I'm slightly confused what she's blaming on her leader since people saw her kill the WindClan deputy.

Spottedstar.  In the battle, Spottedstar was close enough to her and could have helped her, so Owlfeather killed her.  She asked her leader to go on a walk with her, and she agreed.  Then she killed her at the WindClan border and got rid of all traces.  She scratched her own self and ran into camp saying that WindClan killed Spottedstar. 
Hm, she would have to scratch herself pretty bad to be convincing

Spottedstar had two more lives, and Owlfeather killed both of them.  At the battle where Owlfeather's mother died, she saw a gray and white tom fighting Spottedstar, so she decided to pin it on him.
Well makes sense

When they had their next fight over this, Owlfeather killed the tom saying "it was revenge for Spottedstar".  Some of her clan mates respected her after that, including their new leader, Sunstar. 
Alr I guess

The next 20 moons happened and Owlfeather was about to become an elder.
The frick, she was only 60 at her death that's way too young to be an elder unless there's a underlying condition (like Longtail)

On her last patrol, WindClan attacked them again.  This time, the tom's daughter had ripped open Owlfeather's throat and killed her, just like she did to the WindClan Warrior.  She went to the dark forest after that
Karma 😮

Review:

Appearances

Her appearance is fine but if you wanted to more detail could be added, like sizes of her other body parts, fur texture, height in relation to other characters etc. But for her family I'm really disappointed there were no descriptions. You need to add them on with the same amount of detail as Owlfeather.

Personality

The personality was kind of confusing and bland since it's just a list of unexplained negative traits thrown together, so I'd explain each one and add at least a few positive traits.

Backstory
*tired groaning noises* Backstory was mostly good but I'd change the whole coyote thing and the clans reaction to make it more believable. Also tying up some of the loose ends around her killing the leader and stuff would be great. Also also her kits are mentioned once than never again do that definitely needs to be fixed (also add them as descriptions to her form). Besides all that though  I think Owlfeather is actually a pretty good Oc.

Y-yeah that's it. I don't have a lot to say on this one....