For @WolfSinOfHatred. I know I skipped over a few reviews, but Wolf won my Name That Apprentice (I think?) and they chose this as their prize :3

Name: Battlecry (Formerly Battle)

Okay this is a pretty cool name. Idk what mom saw a cute fluffy lil kit and said "I'm gonna name this kit BATTLE" But lol. I guess he was a rogue (You didn't really say?) So she wanted him to have a fierce name. It's cool. I like it.

Gender: tom

Wow!

18

18 wat? Is this supposed to be his age? Did I even ask for his age? I don't think so. But 18 wat? Moons? That's a bit young.

Clan: ShadowClan

WoW

Looks: Black with dark ginger paws and ears. Dark ember eyes.

I like this appearance a lot! Black and ginger isn't the most common color combination, so great job on that. He's got a darker look to him, which is pretty cool. It suits his name.

Rank: Young warrior

Yes, this is also good. Nothing to say about this really.

Personality: Secretive, mysterious, and dark.

So he's.. A ShadowClan stereotype? Great. Make him a bit more unique! Like, is he depressed because of his sister's death? Is he sensitive? Is he very hard to get close to? He has a mate; how does he treat her? Does he have a kind and loving side, or does he always so dark?

Backstory: As a kit, Battle had a sister. Her name was Gem and they were best friends. Once they grew up and left their mother, Gem was killed by a fox. He grew cold and dark. After living on his own for a while, he found a mate, Spiritrain. She got him to join her Clan, ShadowClan.

So there is a reason for his coldness. That's good; Maybe he is afraid that if he makes friends again, they'll end up dying like Gem. But I still want to know more about what he's like once you get to know him; Does he have a kind side? Or is he always dark? I want answers !

The rest of his backstory is p good tho. So great job on that too.

Mate: Spiritrain

Pretty cool cat, Spiritrain is. Is she evil too? I don't remember. Maybe she likes how he's dark and depressing.

·~*OVERALL*~·

Battlecry is a pretty cool cat! 8/10. I'd just like him to not be so much of a stereotype for his Clan. ShadowClan is known for being the dark, mysterious, secretive Clan, ya know? I'd like to know if he has a more sensitive side, how he treats his mate, bla bla bla. Basically what I said before. But he has a cool name that supports his appearance, and an interesting --yet short-- backstory. He's a pretty good oc.

Btw guys, sorry I haven't been updating this book too often. I've been getting a lot more comments on this than I expected, and I'm finding it hard to keep up. I'll try to work on this more. I've deleted the comments of ocs that I already did, btw. Unless I get another request to get one done fast, Reedsnap should be the next review I do. Thanks!