Spark trudged to the ThunderClan camp with the golden tabby. Goldenperch, Demonclaw's mother, she had learnt. They arrived at a thorn barrier, where a golden-brown she-cat questioned Goldenperch.

"Goldenperch, what happened?" The she-cat questioned urgently.

"Echoflight killed Demonclaw in a challenge. I brought his mate back; she's wounded and carrying kits." Goldenperch stepped back and Spark dipped her head.

Pfft. Wounded and carrying kits? What a mouse-brain. You're hurting inside, not outside. Idiot. Grief snorted.

Spark managed a small purr at Grief's words.

Yeah, that's right. Idiot.

"I'm Spark. Now that Demonclaw is dead, I would like to join your group." Spark acted confident and puffed her chest out.

Nice job, acting confident. Does that mean you're not actually confident and you're just weak?

Shut up, Grief.

"I'll deal with you after the battle ends," Luckystar growled. "Go to the warriors' den and stay there."

Spark dipped her head before heading in the direction of the warriors' den. Once there, she told a blind cat that she was expecting kits and he immediately ushered her to the nursery.

"How do you walk and stuff?" she asked bluntly.

The cat glared at her. "I smell."

Yes, you do smell. You smell like blood and herbs. Grief couldn't resist making a comment.

Spark held in a purr and nodded. Inside the nursery, the only warning she got was a sharp howl from Grief before she collapsed on the ground, convulsing in pain.

Spark gritted her teeth. "Will it be a difficult kitting?"

"One of the kits is coming out backwards," Jayfeather announced. "But otherwise it'll be fine. Larkleaf, fetch the kitting herbs." He said to his apprentice.

Larkleaf left the den and returned a moment later with some leaves. Spark barely noticed it with Grief screaming in her head and Jayfeather staring at her intently.

Breathe, Spark! I've spent enough time on you, you can't die on me now! Grief screeched.

"Eat the raspberry leaves, it'll help," Jayfeather nudged the leaves closer.

Spark licked them up. They tasted foul, and she made a face.

Do you reckon that Jayfeather smelt them to know what they were? Grief jeered to distract her.

Is everything you say rude and hurtful? Spark shot back.

Ah, I missed this. Our banter.

"Bite down on the stick if you feel pain, but don't stop pushing," Larkleaf suggested, pushing a stick in front of her face.

"Okay." Spark took the stick in her teeth. Soon, pain shot through her. She bit down hard, feeling the stick splinter in her jaws. Bits of stick fell into her mouth and she almost gagged.

Don't gag.

Kind of obvious, if you ask me.

"The first kit is coming! Larkleaf, get ready!" Jayfeather ordered.

Spark continued pushing and finally, a wet bundle of fur came out. Its feet were coming first.

So that was what Jayfeather meant.

Obviously. He told you it was coming feet first, no surprises here.

It slid onto the moss with a plop.

Spark dropped the stick immediately, love swelling up from inside her, replacing the grief from Demonclaw's death as she watched Larkleaf nip the sac off the kit and lick it to warm it up.

"Hold the stick!" Jayfeather growled.

Bossy.

Spark rolled her eyes before hastily obeying, picking the stick up again and waited for the next shoot of pain.

By dusk, she had birthed two kits, but Jayfeather thought there was still one more. So, they worked until midnight, until strong pain caused her to lie down. She pushed and a small shape fell out. Larkleaf set to work on the kit while Jayfeather stopped the blood that was coming.

Spark rested her head in her paws. Then, sudden panic shot through her as Larkleaf stopped licking.

"I'm sorry, Spark, but the third kit is dead." Larkleaf mewed sadly.

Faker. You couldn't care less.

Jayfeather placed the first two kits at her belly and left her in peace. Larkleaf glanced again at her and left too.

Sparklooked down at the two kits suckling her milk and decided she'd protect thesekits with her life. The first-born was a brown tabby tom with amber eyes. He was beautiful and he wiggled from side to side as he suckled. Spark drew a sharp breath as she realized he reminded her of Demonclaw.

The second born was a she-cat. She had light brown fur and green eyes. There were faint dapples of darker browns on her coat that Spark immediately fell in love with.

The third kit lay in a corner of the nursery. It was dead. It had been a ginger tabby tom. Spark wished she could've known him, at least talked to him, but he was gone.

Gone. You're so useless, Spark. You can't even kit properly without the curse affecting you.

I denied the curse before. But I think you're right. Spark thought, sinking into deeper depths of depression.

A she-cat ducked into the nursery, startling Spark.

It's Dawnpaw. Grief informed her.

"Who are you?" Dawnpaw asked.

"Spark. These are Demonclaw's kits." She replied softly. "And I can see that you loved him."

Dawnpaw gave off heart-broken scents and Spark knew immediately that she was right when Dawnpaw froze. Betrayal was etched on her face.

"I did," she mewed quietly. "And I still do. But he's dead."

"I understand." Spark mewed.

Dawnpaw twined her tail with Spark. Both she-cats were equally miserable, and both had suffered much grief.

"What will you name the kits?" Dawnpaw asked quietly.

Spark thought about it for a moment. Nothing came to mind.

Grief, help me.

How ironic. I thought you wanted to be rid of me?

I did, but you've never betrayed me. You're the only cat that I can trust.

Very well. How about Autumn? You know, the season that humans use for leaf-fall? For the she-cat, of course.

"The brown she-cat is going to be called Autumn," Spark purred.

What about the tom?

You know what he reminds me of?

No, what?

You when I wasn't inside you yet.

Was that regret in Grief's voice?

You were wild. A wind that couldn't be controlled. And I sense that this tom will be very wild.

So, what are you suggesting?

Wild Wind. It's perfect.

"And the brown tabby will be called Wild Wind." Spark told her.

"I like it. I heard there was a third," Dawnpaw looked around.

It felt like thorns were stabbing her heart and she winced. "He died."

How about Ember? That way, you can remember your brother, Fire.

You know about Fire? How- never mind.

"He would've been Ember, for his ginger pelt." Spark mewed.

"I'm so sorry. I had a kit die too." Dawnpaw choked.

Suddenly, another cat rushed in. "Dawnpaw, we're having our warrior ceremony!"

"I'll be back, Spark."

You've been abandoned, Spark.

I thought she was different...

Hmm. Grief mused.

Spark stared into the brambles of the nursery so intently yet unfocused at the same time. She turned around to see Dawnmist was back.

"Are you okay?" she mewed.

"No. I've had too much grief in my life." Spark replied in a voice that was barely a whisper.

That's right. So much that I live in you now.

"Tell me about it," Dawnmist purred. "I've had a fair bit as well."

Definitely not as much as you, Grief assured her. I don't live inside her. She's recovered a fair bit.

Thanks, Grief.

"Have your parents died before you opened your eyes? Have you had two true loves in your whole life; one depressed and one dead? Have you had your littermates killed a few seconds after you know their names?" Spark raged at Dawnpaw.

"I didn't know. I'm sorry." Dawnpaw said comfortingly. "I didn't know you had so much grief."

Not helpful!

"Have you had your best friend murdered by a cat you looked up to?" Spark continued, angry, her eyes burning red. "Have you had a friend that ignored you for three moons before dying in the same battle that took Demonclaw? No, I don't think so!"

"How do you keep sane with all that grief?" Dawnpaw asked with wide eyes.

"I don't like it. But I don't have a choice." Spark answered. "And I don't know how to deal with it. My mate killed, my heart shattered, and one of my kits dead before it lived. I have this...being. She lives in my chest. Her name is Grief, and she puts me down. She breaks my courage and sneers and jeers at me. What do I do, Dawnpaw?"

"I've suffered much too. My first mate exiled, my second murdered, my only kit born dead. We're so similar." Dawnpaw said. "But I follow my heart."

"I understand." Spark managed a weak purr. "It was nice meeting you."

Spark lay down, exhausted, Grief silent. Her last thought before dropping off into sleep was that maybe Dawnpaw could be a good friend.

----

A/N

SOO there's a slightly longer than usual chapter for you! I'm really enjoying building Spark's character and how she and Grief are slowly becoming friends