Chapter 28: Defend
~

Showered and dressed, I stared at my reflection in the chipped white framed mirror.

There was something different about the female who held herself so stiffly. My shape had changed subtly since the last time I'd stood here; places that were once soft were now harder with muscle, my hair had grown longer, my skin held a flush of colour from so much time spent in the sun, marred by silver scars from my fight with Jakkon. Scars my mother hadn't seemed to notice because she was so caught up in everything going on.

But those physical changes weren't what had me staring at myself. It was the glint in my eyes that hadn't been there before, a flicker of wild gold over green. The wolf was present. That part of me always was now. And Wulven instincts were demanding I do what I had to, to stabilise the pack. It filled my veins with adrenaline and a ferocious need to defend.

The intensity frightened me.

Maybe mum was right. I had changed. Hopefully for the better.

"Something is troubling you," Ebbe stated quietly.

My gaze shifted to his in the mirror. Sat on the edge of my bed, he was far more relaxed than I was considering he hated being inside. Damp brown hair clung to his neck and shoulders, drops rolling down tanned skin, over the ridges of muscle that now coiled around his body. He'd changed since he'd last been here too. Ebbe had gotten stronger right alongside me, but I was secretly glad his new confidence hadn't changed the odd way he held himself in skin. It was the quirk I'd first noticed, one of the things that had initially drawn me to him.

"I don't think mum likes who I showed up as," I replied. She'd accused me of having no mercy, but how could I feel sorry for a male who'd come close to tearing my family and pack apart?

Ebbe scoffed and stood, his hands capturing my hips as his front pressed against my back. My breathing hitched slightly as I leaned back, trying not to react to the heat that spread wherever his body touched mine.

Propping his chin on top of my head, our eyes met in the mirror. Blue on green. "You have a temper, remember, Princess? Nobody can blame you for being a little growly."

My lips pursed at his teasing while he gave me a lopsided grin. I turned around to face him, keeping my gaze firmly on his to avoid further distraction. "You need to get dressed. I have to go see my dad."

"I'm not the one that's been stalling," he replied gently, tucking a lock of wet hair behind my ear.

I looked down with a frown, hiding myself from his view until my forehead was pressed against his chest. The thud of his heart beat against my hand, my fingers wanting to tap in time to keep me calm.

Because how could I admit that all of a sudden, I wasn't sure I wanted to see Dad? My father had always been the epitome of what it was to be an Alpha; strong, confident, fierce. Unbeatable. What would I see when I looked at him now? Even just thinking about the bruises and wounds that must cover him had tears threatening to tumble down.

And that look in my eyes that proved I'd let go of my control. . .what if seeing my Alpha weakened brought out instincts I no longer had clamped down?

Rough fingers gripped my chin, forcing my head back up. Before I could blink, lips covered mine, and I melted into the male before me. It wasn't our usual, heated and rushed kiss quickly followed by stripping as quickly as possible. This was different. Slow and sensual, comforting. It stole the very breath from my lungs and offered a new taste of us.

My arms slid up to wind around Ebbe's neck, fingers stroking over soft skin and slim but steady shoulders. Gripping my hips to tug me closer, a tempting our rumbled from his chest. The connection we'd once spoken of thrummed to life between us, filling me up with warmth, and promises of escape. It was a welcome distraction from the darkness of my thoughts, but all too soon Ebbe was pulling away.

I tried to drag him back, curling my fingers into his hair with a rumble from my wolf but he only shook his head gently, the corner of his lips quirked up in a half grin.

"I won't let you use me to hide, Raeghan." Tugging my hands away from his skin, he held my wrists between us.

Hurt stabbed at my chest; Ebbe had never denied me before. Leaning in slightly, I breathed in the added spice to his scent that betrayed his want for me. "Aren't couples meant to offer escape for each other?"

"Not when you'll use it as proof that I hold you back."

Friction erupted between us, harsh and raw against my skin. Dropping my wrists, Ebbe's expression hardened and he stepped away as if waiting for an attack if words from me. I folded my arms and looked away, hating that he might have had a point. But lately it had been getting easier and easier to ignore excuses and imagine having Ebbe by my side as more than just. . .whatever it was we were now.

"Ebbe, I-"

A knock on the door cut me off. Blue eyes bored into mine as the door swung open to reveal Mum. Her chin tilted up, nostrils flaring as she scented the room, catching the tension in the air.

Interrupted, Ebbe let our would-have-been argument go. I watched him step back, shoulders hunching in slightly in a way that was more than just his struggle to stand in skin.

Clearing my throat, I turned to my mother and smiled weakly. "Is everything alright?"

"Sam just left. She's given something to help Roarke sleep but he wants to see you," she relayed, golden eyes flicking briefly to a still naked Ebbe, and then to the t-shirt and jeans that lay on my bed.

My jaw clenched. Why couldn't the damn male ever put some clothes on?

"I'll be just a minute," I murmured, and she seemed to understand. She gave me a meaningful look before stepping out and closing the door gently again.

Letting out a whoosh of air, I ran a hand through my hair before turning back to Ebbe. He was facing the window, almost glaring out at the swaying green grass that sloped gently down towards the forest. Silence stretched on but no matter how much I tried, I couldn't seem to get myself to say that I was no longer looking for excuses as to why we couldn't be more. Every time I opened my mouth to force the words out, niggling doubt would creep in.

"I think I will go for a run. I forgot how loud it was here, everything is so. . ." He shook his head then spun on his heel, and I caught a glimpse of glowing eyes, a touch of wild. "I need fresh air."

Leaving the clothes on the bed, he started for the door and a sense of panic overtook me to the point I nearly pounced across the room to stop his retreat.

"You're not coming with me?" I asked.

Coming to a halt, his head topped slightly towards me. "Are you worried about leaving me on my own?"

Shaking my head even though he couldn't see, my arms wound around middle. "Will you come back?"

With a sigh, his shoulders dropped, anger melting away before he faced me.

"Of course I'll come back. But I need some time to readjust to all of this. The electricity buzzes constantly, the lights are glaring, everything is soaked in so many scents." Skin rippled and I watched with baited breath until he managed to collect himself, to hold the wolf back. This wasn't just an excuse to escape. How could I not have realised just how overwhelming he found it here.

"I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault, Raeghan. Heightened emotions make it harder... but we do need to talk now we're here. In your home. Later though, go see your father."

He didn't wait for a reply, but he did lean in to kiss my forehead, then rub his cheek against mine before he rushed out the bedroom door. It left his scent around me, on my skin, in every inhale. I wanted to call him back, to fix what I felt was breaking, but instead I let him go. He needed to clear his head and ground himself. And I feared I'd run out of time to put off thinking about exactly what I wanted from Ebbe.

Or as I'd now come to terms with, how much Ebbe would even be able to offer without cutting off the part of himself that thrived in the wilds.

Shaking my head, I double checked myself in the mirror and marched out too.

Mum stood outside her bedroom door, which meant she'd most likely seen Ebbe practically bulldoze his way out if the house.

"Is everything okay?"

Yup. If the way Ebbe and I were glaring at each other when she'd interrupted hadn't given it away, him fleeing certainly had.

"It's all good."

It didn't fool her.

"Your father won't be awake for much longer so in you go." She patted my shoulder, and urged me to the door. "I'll be downstairs if you want to talk after."

"Thanks, Mum."

Watching her head down the hall, my fear returned once I was alone. What would I see behind the door? Hopefully not anything that would crumble my faith in my Alpha. I couldn't bear that.

Curling my fingers around the rusted door knob, I turned it slowly, shivering at the horrid screech it made.

My stomach churning as the door opened. Immediately I was bit by a wall of copper tainted air that nearly overpowered the mixed scents of my parents room. I shuddered, my tongue sliding along my gums as if I'd find a cut because I could taste the blood.

One step. That's all I could take at first. Enough shut the door behind me and announce my presence. Eyes burned into my face but I couldn't bring myself to look up just yet. My gaze focussed in on the dark red carpet at first, trailing painfully slowly across the floor then up the wooden leg of the bed until I was finally brave enough to look.

A strangled sob choked me, my hand flying to my mouth.

Under the familiar patchwork blanket, my Alpha was almost unrecognisable. My reaction didn't shock him, nor did he look upset, he gave me a small smile that tugged at the scabbed over gash slicing along the right side of his face. Skin that was once gold from the sun was now pale. Dark circles surrounded pale green, bloodshot eyes, and where there weren't white bandages stained in red, patterns of green, blue and red bloomed over his body.

The nightmare was real and I almost lost my nerve. Fury burned bright beneath the grief, a need to march right down to the basement to tear apart the male locked up there. And I almost did just that, until my father's voice broke through the red haze, Gaelic softly spoken to comfort.

"Halò, an nighean agam." He held out his hand and I sprang across the room to take it.

Throwing myself across him, he grunted in pain but wrapped his arms around me anyway, holding me tighter than he probably should have.

I hated the sour smell of sickness that tainted the forest scent I knew. I hated that I could hear the struggle and pain taking each breath caused him with a rattle in his chest. Tears came freely but I tried not to make a sound, clenching my jaw so I wouldn't show any weakness. His hand settled on my head, fingers stroking through my hair as he rumbled gently.

"Tha e ceart gu leòr-"

"How can you say it's okay?" I argued, sitting up and wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. "I felt what happened. None of this is okay."

His face creased as he carefully pushed himself to sit up against the head board and I noticed every wince, every twitch of muscle from pain. I held my breath until he settled again, letting out it slowly once his expression softened.

"We're Wulvers. Challenges are in our nature, it is the right of any wolf to make one. I accepted. I won. I'm still Alpha. The pack are loyal and safe, nothing has been lost by what happened, so why should things not be okay? I'll heal, my pup, and I doubt it'll be the last time I need to defend myself or what's mine. That's what Alphas do. Until the day I die, I defend and serve our pack."

Meeting his gaze, I couldn't help but sneer, "And save the challenger that sought to take the pack from you? That nearly defeated you, making you look weak to outside eyes? He may have lost but he has caused damage. You're badly injured if you're in need of Sam's medication, and I can smell Oria's herbs in here too. The pack are unsettled by this, I feel it like an undercurrent of anxiety. You're lying to yourself I'd you truly think everything is okay."

Bottom lip trembling again, I knew I'd crossed a line with my words. Injured he may have been but my father's inner strength was still as strong as ever. All he had to do was give me that look, one that held warning in his eyes and had stopped me in my tracks since I was able to walk.

Pressure forced my head to bend in submission, my hands falling to my lap.

"Let any who dare call me weak for sparing that male say so to my face so I might show them how wrong they are," he growled in reply. It was hard not to notice that it lacked its usual thundering sound but it was still enough to make me shrink in in myself.

"Do you think I'm weak, daughter?"

"Of course not. I simply don't understand why you showed mercy. Especially as it seems to be tearing Mum apart. She smells of worry and looks around like one of the shadows might reach out and grab her," I whispered, lifting my chin to catch his gaze again. The anger was gone and I straightened up a little when his hand found mine.

I was forgiven for my emotional outburst.

A frown deepened the lines of his face as he nodded slowly. "No. . .she's not herself, and the council are only adding to her stress. She got a fright during the challenge. I took one misstep and it nearly cost me everything... I'm sure she'll start feeling better now you're here. She almost sent someone to fetch you before she felt you already on your way home."

“A misstep? I don’t believe that’s all it was. Like I said, I felt everything as it happened, I sensed the shock, the rage. How, how did some young male nobody knows get the better of you?” A shuddering breath as my mind tortured me with the pain I’d endured right alongside my father.

“He showed up at our door when we were having a gathering and demanded to speak to me, he shouted about honour and making things right, then outright challenged me. There was something strange about him. He was nervous when he realised a lot of the pack were here too but it didn't put him off. I tried to talk to him but he wasn't for listening to a word anyone tried to say.

"I decided accepting and getting it over with would be quicker and we could talk when I'd taught he'd learned his lesson. Some young wolves like to test their metal against an alpha, but normally it's wolves withing the pack. . . That should have warned me something was off, perhaps. So should the way he fought. Young, and strong, but he had no discipline or real skill, he hadn't been trained by a warrior. Maybe he's a wanderer? So many unanswered questions. . .

"The fight didn't last long, anyway. His claws got a few good nicks in, but his fangs never got more than a mouthful of fur. When I got him on the ground, one good shake and he submitted. Bore his neck and stopped fighting. I could see the fear in his eyes, so maybe I was too soft in my acceptance of his submission. I backed off.”

He frowned, and somehow I knew he was replaying the moment in his head, the near fatal mistake he’d made. “When I turned my back to shift and pick up my clothes, with a mins to get to the bottom of why a wolf no older than my daughter had wandered into random packland to challenge a random Alpha, I heard Cat gasp. . .the next thing I knew I had the pup’s fangs in my side and I was beneath him on the ground.”

I nearly choked.

Even the worst of our kind would look down at such a tactic. To submit was to admit defeat, to attack after doing so was cowardice, dishonourable; especially when the opponent’s back was turned. Young or not, I couldn’t believe my father had allowed such an act to go unpunished; although I hadn’t seen the state my father had left the dog in. Perhaps some time in the basement and then living with the shame of having committed such a dirty trick would be enough punishment.

My vision flashed red and only the fact Dad stroked the back of my hand with a grip that warned that he knew what instincts demanded of me stopped me from losing control. Instead I forced myself to focus on the admiration that swelled for my father. Despite how I felt about it, his act of mercy took restraint, and the fact he’d been caught off guard and still come out on top was a feat I was sure to bring confidence to the pack.

I wondered how much of the fear I felt through the pack bond had been from him, if any, or if he’d met his opponent with surety even when it seemed he’d fall.

“Enough about the coward. Ciamar a tha thu?” I asked softly, squeezing his hand and emphasising, “How are you, really?”

He groaned and rolled his eyes upwards, making my lips twitch in amusement. At that moment he reminded me very much of a pup, the way his lip jutted out as he admitted, "The pain is bearable, but I want out of this bed and out of these four walls. I want to reassure my pack there's no danger, and talk to the challenger too. But even preoccupied, your mother is not a she-wolf to disobey, and she ordered me to remain in bed and heal. Sam and Oria concurred, so here I am. Useless to my pack."

Whether he wanted to admit it or not, I had no doubt the three females were right. Dad was in no shape to be out and about. And Wulver nature demanded our leaders me strong. Seeing him before he could stand tall wouldn't do well for the pack. Once he was able to hide any pain from watchful eyes, every healing scar and bruise would only serve as a reminder to any doubters or wolves thinking of making a gamble for alphaship, of exactly who they were dealing with.

"I would like to help, if you'll let me."

Tipping his head in thought, I didn't hold out too much hope. Throwing me into the mix might only rock the boat further. But he smiled when he seemed to come to some sort of decision. "You could talk to male for me. He's not much younger than you, he might feel it easier to open up to someone close to his own age. . .When we were fighting, he looked more lost than angry or determined. Whatever his true intentions were, his challenge is something we need to get to the bottom of right away. Preferably before the council alphas find out through the grape vine."

It was my turn to roll my eyes so hard it nearly hurt. He couldn't possibly be suggesting I take charge there. "If you think him a lost stray, surely someone like Oria with a gentler touch would be best."

"You have a gentle side too, Raeghan."

I scoffed but before I could rebuff that claim, Dad added, "You reigned in your temper there faster than I've ever seen you. You're growing into yourself, I can sense it. I heard Ebbe might have something to do with that."

"What did Mum tell you while I was getting dressed?" I accused, narrowing my eyes in suspicion.

Another, easier grin graced his face and I could almost forget that he had nearly been killed, ignore the smell and sight of blood and bruises, pretend that I hadn't ran miles and miles through different countries to get home. . .it was just us. Father and daughter. Bonding again. Mending what we'd both broken with so many of our arguments.

"She just said Ebbe had come back with you. But a blind man would know something was going on between you both."

"You might as well be blind, you haven't seen Ebbe and I since we got back."

Barking a laugh that turned to a cough, his amusement only rubbed my fur the wrong way.

Picking at a loose thread on the patchwork blanket, I chewed my lip, and then finally voiced my newest dilemma. "He's so different from me, Dad. We come from entirely different worlds, with different rules, protocols and expectations. Sometimes it's easy to pretend that doesn't matter, but it does."

"What are you scared of exactly, my pup?"

Maybe this was too weird a topic to be discussing with my Alpha, never mind my father. A potential male suitor, not one born to be Alpha as my father had hoped. Would he be disappointed?

I wasn't sure. The very nature of an Alpha was the ability to talk and empathise with wolves about any of their concerns.

"I used to be worried that he'd, or anyone I got close to in this way, would make a claim for power if I one day became your heir. I was paranoid someone would take it all away from me, use me to take their own power. For a while, I guess I was waiting for him to do just that because though he doesn't act like it, he's strong, Dad. Alpha blood strong. But now I think I fear the exact opposite. . ."

Biting my lip, my heart ached in my chest over something that may never happen. "He's born of the wilds, the forests and mountains. He hears it's call louder than I ever will and finds freedom out there I could never replace. Ebbe truly has no care for position or power, nor to live a life so easy as we do, so what if that call to be in the wild is louder than any call he could hear to stay at my side and live a life I know he doesn't want? What if he can't cope living so close to human society? What if he gets bored, or feels too out of place and wants to leave?"

My Dad was quiet for a moment as he processed all I'd said, his gaze far off and lost in thought. Then he heaved a sigh and gave me a sympathetic smile, squeezing my hand. "We can never be truly sure of what someone wants until we ask them, Raeghan. Voice your concerns to him. Hear him out. Don't ruin something beautiful you could have out of fear. I don't know Ebbe very well but from what I've seen, from what we've both seen, I think it's safe to say that despite his omega status, he isn't a male that does anything he doesn't want to do."

I chuckled at that and felt a thrill of pride as I told him, "He's no longer an omega. Ebbe sits amongst Jakkon's high ranked now."

My smile slipped again, more doubts creeping in. He'd told me that he'd done that for himself, and I believed him. So, would he be willing to leave such a huge accomplishment behind to start somewhere completely new? What about Gisli?

A sharp pinch to my ear broke me from the downward spiral and I glared at my father, rubbing the sore spot that would most definitely have turned red.

"Whatever happens, it won't be the end of the world if it goes wrong, even if it might feel like it at the time," he advised, echoing what Fenna had told me what felt like so many weeks ago now. "Your first real relationship doesn't have to be the end all."

He smirked when I bristled. As if that told him all he needed to know. Maybe it did.

Noting the way Dad had suddenly started to slump into the pillows, I decided I'd burdened him enough with my silly problems that weren't important right now. The medication Sam had given him was obviously starting to work, he needed to get all the rest he could. Leaning in, I brushed my cheek carefully against his. "I should let you sleep."

"Yes. . .but you still didn't give me an answer. Will you try with the male? Bring him something to eat and drink, show him we mean no harm."

I wanted to say no. I didn't want to be anywhere near the bastard, and I wasn't sure I trusted myself to behave either. But how could I refuse? It was a responsibility to the pack that I'd never been offered before. A duty not unlike what an Alpha would give to the next in line.

"Okay, Alpha. I'll talk to him. . .You've not changed your mind have you? About me being heir."

A dangerous thing to ask, but it had to be asked, and his answer didn't disappoint me like it would have before. He shook his head and focussed on me, more alert again as the tone changed slightly between us. "No."

"Then before I go, there's something I want you to know."

"Oh?" He smirked, gold flashing over green eyes. It was oddly comforting that his strength was still there, the power of an Alpha battering against me. I didn't bow my head, and for once Dad didn't look furious at my refusal to submit, in fact he looked almost impressed that I held his gaze. Even though it made me feel physically sick.

"As soon as you're healed, m' athair, I will challenge you."

He chuckled, the sound of his wolf making it deeper even as his eyes closed, the medicine taking him under. "I expected nothing less."