Warning-implied suicide

Jared was having a fairly shitty day and was in an overall bad mood, but he wouldn't let that stop him, he was slightly excited because he was going to hang with Evan today. He was on his way to meet up with his best (only) friend.

He turned a corner and was going to walk down a usually abandon hall to get there faster, when he saw Evan....

Pinned to a wall, making out with some tall, blonde guy with gelled hair. He could hear the small moans and he saw their hands roaming each other's bodies. He turned right back around and went down a different route.

He didn't like any pda, no matter who it was, but the fact that it was Evan made him even more uncomfortable. He wishes Evan never changed...

He wished Evan could be as innocent and sweet at he used to be. He just hasn't been the same since... 'the incident'.

He always moves from boy to boy, girl to girl, etc. he's always dating someone and he never dates them for long. Jared tried to talk to him about it but Evan got defensive and only pushed him away even more.

Jared waited for Evan, sitting on a bench outside the school. After half an hour of waiting, Jared went on his phone to keep him occupied.

He looked at the time in his phone and saw that it had been three hours. Jared sighed and decided to walk to Evan's house and wait there.

He reached in the potted plant and got the spare key and let himself in. He was shocked to see Heidi sitting on the couch on her computer. She looked over to Jared and realized that He was not Evan.

She sighed and greeted, "Hey Evan. Why are you here?"

Jared could hear the disappointment in her tone, but he replied anyways, "Evan and I were supposed to hang out today... I waited three hours for him but he never really....came, so I walked here to wait. Did you need to talk to him? You seemed disappointed."

She laughed bitterly before responding, "He's been acting so distant ever since....the whole thing with... him. He only talks to me in one or two words. I'm his mother I just don't know what to do. Do you know what he's even doing? He's never home..."

Jared felt bad for Heidi. He couldn't even imaging what it would be like if Evan was his son. She just has no clue what her own son is doing. Jared kinda wishes that he didn't either, but he knew she had to know too.

He took a shaky breath and told her, "Evan, he's been getting different boyfriends and girlfriends and he never is single, but none of his relationships last long. He makes put with every one of them in the halls and he clearly holds no feelings for any of them. If I'm being honest, he was making out with his boyfriend, at the moment, in the hall as I was on my way to wait for him. The worst part of all..."

Jared took a deep breath and continued, "the worst part of all is that... that... I- think he... lost his virginity. I don't know who to, but I'm 99% sure he was having sex with his boyfriend while I was waiting."

Tears were falling down both of their faces, yet Jared went on, "I don't know why he's doing this. I think he might be trying to get back a piece of him that he lost along with... him... but this isn't healthy. I'm really worried for him. He's my best and only friend and I truly care for him."

Heidi looked like she was still taking it all in. We stayed silent for a few minutes before she broke the silence, "I want to help him, but I don't know what he wants me to do for him. I do know what he needs. We have to talk to him, help him, figure out what's wrong. I don't want to lose him too..."

She looked down, sadness clear in her expression. Jared spoke again, "me neither," a spark filled his eyes, "so that's why we have to talk to him. When he gets back we can figure out what's wrong and get through this together."

She nodded at him. They sat down and waited. Jared ate a snack. They waited more.

It was 2am and no sign of Evan yet. Heidi was panicking, but Jared was no better. All they wanted was for him to be okay, but at the moment they had no clue where he was.

Jared shakily got up and excused himself, "I'm gonna use the restroom..."

Heidi only nodded. He went to the furthest bathroom and sat in the tub. He had a blank expression. He didn't even realize that he was crying until he felt tears drop on his crossed legs.

He sat there sobbing alone. Thoughts protruded his mind.

Why is Evan doing this?
He doesn't have to do this?
Why do I care so much?
I feel sick.
Is this love?
Oh god.
No.
Please God no.
I...
I'm in love with Evan Hansen.
This can't happen.
I don't want this.
But I need to accept it.
I love him and he's hurting.
I need to help him get over...
Him....
It's my duty.
My dearest, Evan, I will help you and you will be okay.
I promise this.