TW-abuse, suicide, intense suicidal thoughts, gay slurs, depression.
Edited
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Jared was walking cautiously through a dark walkway. It was almost like a hallway.

He saw a door with a light above it on his right. He went through it.

He saw a light in the middle of the pitch black room. His parents stood in the light. A blank expression was shown on their faces. He walked forward.

He felt himself shrink and he felt younger. He was six again.

He couldn't hear her but his mother's face scrunched in anger and she started screaming silently at him, but he remembered exactly what she was saying.

Useless piece of shit! You shouldn't have been born, you accident! Idiot! I wish you were never born! Why can't you just die already! You're the reason I want to die! It's me or you! Fuck you!

His mother disappeared and a note fell down to where she had stood before. His father still had a blank face, but tears flowed out of his eyes. Jared knew what the note was.

His mother's suicide note.

He knew it was his fault. His mother's words were replayed in his brain everyday he lived.

He felt himself get punched in the stomach. He looked at his father. Pure anger and hatred was all that could be seen in his expression.

He was seven now. Bruises and cuts covered his body. His father beat him and screamed at him.

Jared ran out of the room. And back into the hallway. The light above the door went out. His parents were a light in his light. That light went out. His mother was dead and his father was dead to him.

He was still seven. Another light came on above a door on his left. He went to the door and opened it. Inside he saw a seven year old boy with a light blue tee shirt with a tree design on it.

He walked over to the boy. They talked, yet no noise could be heard. But him and Evan grew close. They started walking away from the door together and aged together. Then they were 12 and were seventh graders.

Some people could be seen in the dark shadows of the room. They started silently shouting insults at Jared.

Gay! Loser! Faggot! Kill yourself! Fucker! Die! Queer! Dumbass! Freak! Bitch! Four eyes! Shorty! Asshole!

Jared started going closer to the door in fear. He started going further from Evan, his light. He went closer to the door until he was in the doorway. He saw Evan's hurt expression as he closed the door on him.

The light was still there but it was dangerously dim. A fifteen year old Jared cried outside the door, leaning against it.

He got up and walked back to his dad's door. He walked in and saw his dad angrily standing in the dark. He went to his father and a small light came on. A flash of hope. He talked to his dad, still silent. He told him his problems. He told him how he was tired of all the insults and how he felt guilty for pushing away Evan and he was sorry for everything being his fault. For being born. For being a loser. For being gay.

His dad's eyes grew more and more infuriated as Jared went on. He eventually just shut the poor boy up by slapping him. He shouted more and more insults. Darkness crawled all over Jared.

His dad kept screaming at him and kicking him as he curled into a ball in a attempt to stay alive. His dad eventually went into the darkness ditching Jared who was still laying there.

He got up after a bit and slammed the door behind him. He walked down the hallway, passing the slight light nice Evan's door, not wanting to see Evan. He saw a light lighting up a small bottle.

Ibuprofen.

It's a pain killer. It takes away pain. You're supposed to take one or two at least six hours apart.

What if Jared took 24 in one minute?

Seventeen year old Jared held the pills in his hand, ready to do it. He only had one light in his life, and he pushed that light away. He had the pills ready to be put in his mouth.

A rectangular light shone a few feet away from him. An online message from Evan appeared.

Evan was telling him about how Connor's parents thought he was Connor's friend and how Connor committed suicide.

Jared put the pills back. He didn't want people to think he was just doing it for attention.

He replied

Jared: Holy. Shit

After Jared talked online with Evan, he cried alone, wishing he could get close to Evan again.

Eventually he went into an empty room and sat down with his computer. Evan walked in and they started typing emails together. Fake emails to and from Connor.

Jared felt jealous of their fake friendship.

Evan left Jared alone again. The light he carried with him left as well. Jared cuddled his knees.

Evan came back at some point.

Silently begging Jared for more emails. Jared scoffed a little feeling used.

This isn't funny

Jared said it was hilarious. He said everyone would probably find it hilarious.

What is that supposed to mean?

Jared tells him that it means that he should remember who his friends are.

I thought the only reason you even talk to me is because of your car insurance.

Jared offendedly retorts a 'so?'

So maybe the only reason you talk to me, Jared, is because you don't have any other friends.

Jared yells how he could tell everyone everything, avoiding Evan's previous statement.

Go ahead. Do it. Tell everyone how you helped write emails pretending to be a kid who killed himself.

Jared says 'fuck you, Evan. Asshole' like a helpless, heartbroken little kid as he turns away. Tears flow down his face.

The light that followed Evan went completely out

There was no light

There was no hope

There was no friends

There was no mom

There was no good dad

The abuse continued

The life drained out of Jared

Jared knew it was all his fault

His being born caused his mother to kill herself

His failure and gayness caused his father to abuse him

His fear and assholeness caused Evan to hate him

He knew it was all his fault.

People from his school started shouting at him from the shadows. Their voices were finally audible. His father and his mother's ghost started shouting at him. Their voices also audible. Evan shouting as well. His voice was the clearest.
The words sank in. They penetrated his skin like knives. They burned his heart like wildfire. They pounded in his head like a sledgehammer. He shut his eyes and fell to his knees. He covered his ears and screamed, attempting to shut out the voices. His attempts were in vain. Tears flowed from his eyes non stop. The tears started to drown him. The words became a blur.

A tiny light shone above him. He opened his eyes and looked up at it. He swam through the massive pool of tears to get up to the light. It grew brighter.

He reached out to the light and held his breath.

He woke up with a gasp and tears dripped from his eyes.

He felt himself being rocked in someone's lap.

He felt a drop of water fall on his head.

He was breathing heavily and his eyes were full of fear.

He heard 'shhhh it's okay calm down'

He turned his head to look at his husband who was gently smiling at him. He calmed slightly. He wrapped his arms around Evan and rested his head against the taller man's warm chest. Jared smiled listening to Evan's comforting words.

Wonderful. Amazing. Beautiful. Adorable. Sweet. Perfect. Lovely. Nice. Kindhearted. Unique. Special. My everything.

Jared knew his insecurities would never go away. He knew everything wouldn't be perfect. He knew life wouldn't be all rainbows and happiness.

But as long as Evan was there for him, he could stay here and he could be happy. And that's all that he's wanted for longer than anyone could possibly know.