"The game was actually decent until the intercom came along and ruined it," Lysander complained dramatically. As a giant, he was slow as a snail.

Actually, cut that. He was slower than a snail. You're welcome, Lysander, if you ever decide to read this.

"You're so slow! Hurry up, turtle!" I told him while motioning him to hurry up.

"Didn't the turtle win the race in the story? Like the turtle and the hair, I think." He said.

I sighed.

"How stupid can you be?"

"I dunno... I can show you." He replied.

"No thanks.... Now hurry up. We've been walking for at least ten minutes and all we did was go around one corner. One down, thirty more to go!" I urged him.

I should stop saying "How stupid can you be?" because some people are taking it as a challenge. Wonder who.

"You could start walking faster!" I offered him while dragging him, and now, I really wanted to smack him.

Here's some advice- when you really, really, want to smack someone, do it and say "mosquito."

You'll thank me later on.

"I can't. I tried it once. My heart was racing and my skin flushed. I found out I was allergic to it. I was very out of breath. Very dangerous." He said. "And how do you walk so fast?"

So now I know that he's the worst player. Since all he probably does is crawl around for the ball.

"Oh, this morning I walked around the block five times-"

"Oh wow."

"-then I put the block back in the toy box. It doesn't take much to walk around like a normal human being."

Then I started running quickly to the office so I didn't hear his reply, and I had the same symptoms of exercise as Lysander did, but they were allergic. How stupid of him.

Then he started running, and I asked, "So now you're not allergic to it anymore?" I raised my eyebrows.

"No, I ate some... potato chips that have helped me with my allergies. I should recommend them to the doctors..." he said.

He's probably so stupid that he doesn't even know how to spell doctor.

"Do you know how to spell 'doctor?'" I asked, just to prove my theory.

"Yea... D-R, right?" He asked.

Yes. My theory has been proven correct by all means.

I stopped. We were at the office.

I knocked on the door, and the principal, through the glass door, nodded at us, a sign for us to go in.

If I nod at someone, it usually means "go away" rather than "come in." Remember that.

We walked in, and surprisingly, Lysander was silent.

"Have a seat." I sat down, and Lysander stood.

"Mr. Spooner, I have very unfortunate news for you." The principal said.

Remind me to tease him about his name later. If we make it out alive. For now, I'm thinking of ways to get out of this place.

"Your brother is in the hospital."
_________

"Don't worry, he's fine." The principal said after a few unbearable and silent seconds.

"The kid-"

"He's not a kid." Lysander said.

"The toddler-" the principal started.

"He's five."

Seriously. Someone's in the hospital and they're discussing the age of the brother.

"So.. I know someone's brother got hurt, but what does this have to do with me?" I asked.

"Well, Ms. Robins, your brother had something to do with the incident too."

Oh great. My brother is as stupid as Lysander's brother. I see, I see.

"So... a unique situation occurred. It appears that your brothers went from... comparing shirts and backpacks to comparing punches and kicks... and that landed them in the principal's office and the principal." The principal said with a tone I couldn't really put in words.

I see, I see. At least me and idiot Lysander share one thing- idiotic brothers. Never mind stupid.

"Your parents have agreed for you to stay with me. At my house." The principal said. He didn't actually sound annoyed. Maybe he just wanted us to do his chores. Who knows?
_______

"What if my parents are kicking me out?" Lysander cried, "What if they don't want me anymore?" His voice dropped lower. He sounded genuinely more dramatic than the Lysander in A Midsummer's Night's Dream. No, I'm not joking.

"They're not kicking you out. Worse that could happen is you being homeless. Be grateful that you have a principal willing to give you a place to stay when your parents are helping your brother." I said to him, and, yes, I'm the best comforter ever. I'm not even charging him any money, which shows that I am very much kind.

Hey, in these situations, you have to be optimistic and literal. You can't just leave your common sense behind.

And guess what! Turns out we (or I, but Lysander took most of the credit) were right. He gave us a list of chores, and Lysander acted like it was the end of the world, like his life was in the words of the paper. Ridiculous, am I right?

The list said:

1) eat dinerr

2) find a place to slep

3) ^ preferably on the grounnd

4) sweep the floors before you slep

5) find a way to entertain yourself without anoyying me

As a principal, his handwriting was decent. His spelling? Not so much.

The last one was just rude. We are very nice students and very kind students and very quiet students and-

You know what? I'm just lying to myself. He's right.

"So... number one! Eat dinner.. not so hard, right?"

"Wrong... I've already checked the fridge eight times and the pantry nine times. It's empty." Lysander said. "He didn't even stock up in potato chips! Evil."

"Not everyone likes potato chips," I said.

"That's how you can tell who is a secret demon who is stalking you and will monstrously kill you when you're not with someone!" He said.

"Oh... okay then! So, we'll have to eat dinner. Where do you want to go?"

"The store."

"To buy...?"

"Potato chips."

I sighed. The ideal dinner- potato chips. I've never heard of anyone more obsessed with potato chips than he is.

On our way to the grocery store, a football guy from our school came up to us. Without acknowledging us, he came up to Lysander and punched him square in the face.
_________
Sorry this chapter was short. And it wasn't as funny as the other ones but... the next one you'll have a stomachache for days. *grins*

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This chapter is dedicated to VexDizznee . Thanks for voting, commenting, and adding this book to your reading list!

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