You know how time kinda stops when someone's throwing a punch at you? Those ridiculous slow-mo's?

Anyway, those are lies. After one punch in Spooner's (yes, he has a new name now), the guy repeated punched him. Again and again. In any other situation I would've been very pleased to see the scene right before me, but now is not that specific situation.

I'm still confused. Why does the big guy hate him? Unless his name is Forker or Knifer (ouch can't imagine that) he'd have to have a real reason to hate Spooner.

Then my brain suddenly came back. It took a very short hiatus, needless to say.

I started kicking the big guy. Again and again.

At first he thought was just annoying. Then I started kicking even harder and that just got him even more annoyed.

"If you kick me one more time, little girl-" I started kicking him hard. Don't underestimate me.

"Call... me.... Little... girl.... One.... More... time... and... you.... Don't.... Wanna.... Know.... What... happens," I told him while kicking him in between each word.

He fell down, and before he could get up, I kicked him once more.

"If you want to live, I suggest you stay down there and chase after someone else." I said triumphantly.

"Let's go, Spooner! Unless you'd like the same treatment as our friend big guy here. No costs!"

"Hard pass, no thanks. And what's up with you today?"

"Period." I replied.

"Question mark?"

"My period."

"My question mark?"

I sighed. I pity the guy's girlfriend. I mean, if he ever gets one.

"Ohhh! I know what you mean now!" He said excitedly.

"Go for it, Spooner."

"Was it first period? Or third.... I know they're called blocks but..."

I have no hopes for this guy. The hope has a cherished into the deep deep dungeons of Askaban. For all the Potterheads out there.

"Just to let you know, potato chips have a very high source of saturated fat and can cause cancer. It is not healthy, and-"

"Thanks for ruining potato chips for me. I can't thank you enough. Now what am I supposed to eat now?"

"Cheeze-its?"

"Yea! Good idea. Good thing we haven't bought the potato chips yet."

"Did you know that Cheeze-its-"

"Don't ruin Cheeze-its for me too!" He groaned.

Ok then. I'll tell him another time.

"Just shush it, okay? Let's get your Cheeze-its, dummy!" I pushed him to go further, just in case we go colliding with another mentally insane guy. The mental hospital will realize he's missing. Soon enough. I hope.

"I'm so smexy." He said all of a sudden.

"Excuse me?"

"That stands for s-"

"Smiling idiot plus-"

"No, it's sm-"

"Smelly and saxophone-y?"

He sighed (at least now I'm taking his breath away now) and said "Maybe the guy could sense my awesomeness."

"In your dreams, loser." I replied.

He fake sniffled and said, "If no one finds me attractive at least mosquitos do," he sniffles again.

"Do whatever you want. I'll just go back to the principal's house and-"

"Oh you ain't going nowhere. You're coming to get potato- no, wait- Cheeze-its at the grocery store!" He dragged me back, and by the time I got him to let go of my arm, we were already at the frozen foods aisle. Maybe he can teleport. Or just annoying me and irritate me at the same time. At least he can multitask.

I'm going to try to act like a happy, mentally stabled person. Wish me luck.

"Go grab your potato chips! I'll be waiting here."

"Okay, and it's Cheeze-its." He replied while walking away.

Do I care? No.

I walked around the store, I saw people looking at their phones. And then I just realized this - people are prisoners of their phones. That's why it's called a cell phone.

Lysander came up to me and once more told me stupid things that I really don't want to repeat. Too stupid.

"Let's check out and go to my parent's house! Ooh, grab some Goldfish too. Yep, those ones," I said, pointing to the bag. I walked out of the store and waited outside.

The walk to my house was looooooong. Or maybe it felt long because half the time he was kicking rocks and asking "Are we there yet?"

When we got to my house, he complained, "Why do we have to go to your house?"

"Well, now you got your food, I need mine! Besides, no one's home."
________
And that's all that happened. Now, we were chilling on the couch watching a movie. A rom-com. And I'm pretty sure when the main characters were talking Lysander was screaming "They're flirting!" Even though they literally were roasting each other, I tried not the point that out much.

By the time I woke up the next morning, the principal was already gone and Lysander was on the floor, snoring. I kicked him. He opened his eyes.

"It's 9 AM, idiot!" I told him.

"Ahhhh! We gotta get to school! Here, can you hand me that?" He asked.

"One: no, I will not hand you that, and two, did you realize it was Saturday?"

He looked around, looking at the calendar.

Oh, wait. He can't read a calendar. He checked his phone, and said, "Oh wait! It is Saturday!"

About time he checked the calendar. Or his phone, whatever.

We decided to take a walk. Or, actually, I dragged him. He said he wanted to perform a 'reading' of the bag of Cheeze-its. But I dragged him anyway.

On our walk, we stopped thirteen billion times.

Lysander would say something like "Hey! There's an ant! Don't step on it!" or "Look at that cute doggy!" while pointing at a dot eight miles away.

I'm sure he was talking about the bulldog.

By the time we got home, we got a real list of chores from the principal (yes, I have no idea what his name is). If you're wondering why we never contacted our parents, it's because the principal said we couldn't. I have no idea why whatsoever.

The list says:

Clean the housse

Race the leafs

That was it. I have no idea what 'race the leafs' meant, but I could tell the principal's spelling had no improved over the course of eight hours.

Currently, we're raking the leaves. Or, I'm raking the leaves. Lysander took it seriously and was racing the leaves. He was yelling at the leaves and why they couldn't move or make an effort in the race.

"You better help," I told Lysander.

"What?" He asked.

"Rake the lea-" I started.

And that's when we heard the sirens wailing.
_________

Cliffhangers! I know you love em'.

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This chapter is dedicated to @sylvi5sw.

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