I hate school.

I swear (yes, Lysander, I'm swearing, just deal with it), whoever created school is not human. Who's with me? It's brain abuse to humans. Maybe it was Kronos. And you better agree with me, or else you and I are going to have a HUGE problem.

It's going to work, because Kronos, the kid-eating father, created school, but he still has a heart so he ends up eating his children so they don't have to go through the tortures of school. That's, like, a fool-proof plan right there.

By the time the kids get released from (ew) their father's stomach, they're too old. No one wants to be partners with a guy five times older than you. Unless they're, like, a genius or something.

I plopped down at the table where Lysander was. "What's up?" I asked. "Looks like someone's happy."

"The ceiling. And the roof. Perhaps topped with some leaves on top. Maybe some pretty clouds with the sky. The sun. Currently nonexistent moon. Birds..." he trailed off in a voice, like he was dreaming. About freaking birds.

"Pretty birds..." he sighed, smiling, looking at absolutely nothing.

"Yes, yes just those birds with super sharp claws getting ready to eat you, what could possibly be any more peaceful?" I said.

"It was so peaceful! And you ruined it!" He said.

"Just forget about the hundreds of people also in this room, yelling and screaming and talking. Yes, they don't exist. Totally."

He sighed. "I hate you."

Bob sang in the background "I hate you, I love you."

Just shut up, already. That song is just- no.

We both ignored him.

"Says the one who dragged me by my hair to sit with you for the rest of the year." I said, rolling my eyes.

"T-t-that wasn't me!" He argued.

Sid sung, "I hate that I want you." Then he said, "Just get married already. You've skipped the marriage part. You're bickering like an old couple."

Now, all of us ignored him. Even Bob.

Chris said, "Yes, right. That was your third personality, Frank. And also, I saw you." He rolled his eyes.

"Shut up." Lysander said, "And bro, I though we were friends."

"Me?" Both Sid and Bob asked.

"Only me and Chris are friends. You two idiots can shut up."

Chris coughed.

"Well, in that case, yes, all three of you."

"Me?" I mimicked.

He facepalmed. "How did I find myself such idiotic people? Did you fall from the sky?"

"I should be the one asking that!" I said, "And, of course, I hatched from an egg. But so have you, because you're a 'chick.'"

"No, I'm a chic." I don't think guys can be classified as chics anyway. Wait. Can they?

"Do you realize you're saying the same thing or what...?" Chris asked, confused.

"Yeah," Bob said, "I agree with my not-friend."

"Uhh," Sid said unsurely, "is it just me because I think we're missing something here..."

"Wait... what are you naming your babies? Come on, don't keep it a secret." Chris asked.

I coughed.

Lysander patted my back. "You okay?"

I coughed again. "Yep, yep, I'm fine." I shrugged his hand off my back.

Lysander gasped. "Am I pregnant?"

We all started coughing.

"Do all of you guys have colds? Or are you all pregnant?" I swear, the stupidity of this guy will kill me one day. Sooner or later, I have no idea.

"Yeah," I coughed again, "you're pregnant, but by the looks of your symptoms, your babies will hatch out of eggs."

And if you're wondering, no, I'm not going to become a doctor. Looking at humans all day? It'd be about my third patient before I start punching someone.

"And you're going to have such a hot family," Bob said.

"Yeah, since I'm so hot." Lysander said.

"Of course," I coughed, "we're just going to be here, hanging out with each other because we have colds and you can just stay with your hot family. Don't mind us."

"But wait!" Chris said dramatically, "You guys need to meet at a place where it's not that hot or cold, because hot families can't stay in cold places or someone," he coughs, "Lysander and his," he coughs again, "babies will melt and obliviate in the cold land of Juliaville."

I facepalmed. "Juliaville? That's the best you could come up with?"

"Or maybe Juliapolis?" Sid offered.

"Ugh, that's even worse," Bob groaned.

Yeah, I agree with him.

Just imagine Anna singing in the background "For the first time in foreverrrrrr."

Okay, I'm laughing waaaay too hard right now.

I leaned in and whispered in Chris' ear. "Should we keep leading him on? He genuinely seems interested in," I coughed, "having babies."

"Nah. I don't think he's that stupid. He'll find out sooner or later that even if he has," he coughs, and we're coughing a LOT lately, "babies, he'll be the ugly duckling out of all of them."

"Chicks, you mean." I corrected.

"Yeah..." he said, "chicks."

I think he'll end up eating his chickens anyway.

"I know you're talking about the one and only amazing me," Lysander said, "and don't think I'm that stupid."

Phew. I thought he actually was that stupid, but I was glad I was wrong. Really, really glad.

The bell rung.

Oh, joy.

Another lunch without eating.

Great job, Lysander. And I'm only letting you off because you went through something hard last weekend. But next time, prepare to die. Well, I'm not that mean. Prepare to get injured! Or hurt. Or whatever.

Ugh, I suck at proclaiming things! Pretend I said something really awesome here.
_______

When I got home, my parents were acting like the world was ending. Fixing stuff here, straightening things there. Well, they're literally always like that. But there was something off that day.

I just stood there, in the middle of the hallway, holding my backpack and waiting for someone to notice me.

Yeah, I stood there, I'd say, for about an hour, and I'd be lying if I said my feet didn't hurt. Yes, my parents are awesome, thanks for noticing.

Then they noticed me. "Oh, hey, Jules. You're finally back." My dad said. The world really must be ending. He's never called me Julia or Jewels or whatever he just said. He always was like, "Hey!" Or something like that. Yeah, I grew up thinking my name was Hey.

"We have to tell you something," my mom said. Lucky for her, me too. I was standing there for too long to not complain.

"Yeah?"

"You're going to," she coughed. Maybe she had the same disease me, Chris, Sid, and Bob had? We've all been coughing the whole day.

"Going to? I'm going to be a billionaire? Cool! I was only one step away from becoming one anyways. The last step- all I needed was money." I told them, confused.

"What are we going to do without her?" She asked my dad, hugging him.

Now I'm scared. She's never hugged Dad before. Maybe I should start running.

My dad looked at me. "You're going to go to a private school out of state."
___________

Yes! The ultimate cliffhanger!

And I literally warned you guys on my message board, not my fault no one paid attention. So, lesson learned? No? Well, I have awesomer cliffhangers planned, so don't worry.

Next time, maybe you guys should pay attention to my message board *insert laughing face* and the authors notes.

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Dedicated to @theoneandonlywrite.

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