Someone was knocking on my bedroom door.

Seriously, my poor door has feelings. It's been knocked on too much.

"Mom- I said I didn't want to- oh." I mumbled awkwardly, not meeting Lysander's eyes from the doorway with an awkward (like, I'm not kidding on how high the awkward levels increased in those ten seconds) smile.

"Hi." He said. I'm not going to add 'awkwardly' at the end because everything that happened in that conversation was awkward.

Like, everything.

"Hi," I replied. "What brings you here?"

If was on a phone call, I'd slap myself. That was something stupid to say. He obviously was here to hunt for elephants. Totally a normal thing to do in my room.

"I wanted to tell you something." He's talking right now. Bruh. Unless my brain is playing tricks on me, but I know my brain loves me too much to do that right now.

"Yeah?" I asked. I was a little curious about what he had to say. But that didn't mean that awkwardness was gone just yet.

"Please don't make this weirder than it already is," I said the same time he said, "I have a crush on you, Julia."

"Yeeep. You totally made this weirder." I said.

Then I comprehended what he just said.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"IsaidIhaveacrushonyoujulia." He said all the words at the same time that it was kinda cute.

And he was skipping class, too, seeing that it was only two o'clock.

"I heard you right the first time," I coughed, "But thanks for repeating it and making it clearer."

"So.." He stretched the word for a really long time.

"I'm sorry, Lysander." I said, "I have to say, yes, me too."
_____________________

The stretch of silence was longer than the time when Lysander said, "Sooo" for a really long time.

"Yeah." I said, "You heard me right the first time, and if you didn't, I'm sorry. I can't repeat it again."

He looked at me weirdly. But it wasn't a bad weird. It's... a good kind of weird, I guess.

"Really?" He asked me.

"Yeah," I said, "Really. But I don't think we'll work out." I said the last sentence more quietly because it hurt me as much as it hurt me.

I knew that those words hurt him because of the flash of pain that went across his face.

He didn't yell. He didn't cry. He didn't scream. In fact, he was creepily silent.

Instead, he just asked, "Why?"

That was what hurt the most. That he sounded like he didn't really care, but I know he did.

"You just broke up with your girlfriend. Maybe we could.... when you're over your heartbreak.. and stuff like that," I said, pausing in between.

"No, Julia, I'm ready. I'm ready now."

I'm not so sure.

"I'm sorry." I said, turning away.

He sighed. "I wish I could go back to a stupid 13-year old and ruin my life a completely different way. I have new ideas." He grumbled.

"I get it. I completely get it. I don't want to pressure you. But don't think of yourself as a replacement for my girlfriend, because you're obviously way better." He said, meeting my eyes with a smile.

I laughed.

"But we're still friends, right? I really don't like awkwardness. Awkwardness suck. Is awkwardness even a word? I typed it once and autocorrect didn't correct me. I wasn't surprised though because I correct autocorrect more than it corrects me. Am I rambling? Is this a rant? No, it's not. I'm just informing you." He rambled on.

I stifled a laugh. "Informing me of random things. Yeah. That."

Then I remembered his question. "Yeah. We're still friends. Of course. I just thought-"

He cut me off.

And this is why I like photography. I can shoot people and cut their heads off without getting arrested. It's awesome.

"Yep. I get it. It's okay."

He turned to leave.

"Wait," I said, "Before you go, let me give you something."

He looked more confused than I was. I didn't know what I was doing.

Then I stood on my toes and gently pressed a kiss against his cheek and said, "See you around, Spooner."

I was in shock even more than he was, and he stood there for a while until he left.
___________

Maybe this was going to be hard to get over.

Although I may have a crush on him, I felt that it was the right choice for me.

The right choice for him, too.

The right one for both of us.

What I found admirable about Lysander was that he could sense that it wasn't going to end well. But he still was loyal to himself, me, and his feelings. He was strong. I admired that.

One nice thing about not have friends (well, other than Greyson and Lysander and them, but they ain't girls) is that I don't have to keep them updated in EVERY. SINGLE. LITTLE. THING. HAPPENING. IN. MY. LIFE.

I'd pity myself if I had one, but it wouldn't be half as bad if it were someone like Lysander who really didn't push things and wasn't nosy.

WHY THE HECK AM I THINKING ABOUT HIM? HAVE TEENAGE HORMONES FINALLY HIT ME AGAIN? NO!

I sat back down.

There was another knock on my door.

I really need to install a doorbell at my bedroom door.

"Come in," I said, trying to make myself presentable in case it was the president at my door.

Not sure why he would come, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did because I'm just awesome.

I looked down at my feet. I hope Mr. President likes Hello Kitty slippers.

My jaw dropped when I saw who it was.

It was my childhood best friend, Aiden (yes, before I turned into an absolute weirdo, I had friends, as hard as it is to believe).
__________

(Yeep, the chapter doesn't end here. Yeep.)

I was so stupid and surprised that I asked, "Who are you?"

And if he was the guy I know, he would say-

"I am the president of the species Alienus strangus, all of which we are prepared to murder you with our exclusive amount of bubblegum, but before we take off again, I am here inform you that one day, a cookie will take over the world."

Then we looked at each other and burst into laughter as I closed the door and offered him a place to sit on my bed. "You said something wrong!" I yelled at him while laughing, causing the door to slam open again.

That's it. I'm installing a lock along with a doorbell.

"Hi... dad," I said awkwardly.

"Who is this person?" He asked, pointing at Aiden, "And why is he sitting on your bed."

"Hey, Dad?" I asked.

"What?" He replied, getting annoyed.

"This is Aiden. You know, the guy that-"

"The one the pushed you in a ditch when you were twelve?" He asked.

I smiled weakly. "Yeah, that's the one."

"Okay, then. I know you. Just get off the bed, please."

"Oh," Aiden said falling off the bed, "Of course. No problem. I'd be happy to." He called from the floor.

"Yep." I said, "Nothing going on in here... just some more bonding time!"

My dad raised his eyebrows before walking out, shutting the door.

"So-"

The door opened again. "I think I'd like it better if the door was open," he said, "In case the bonding or whatever gets out of hand."

I rolled my eyes. "You mean to the point we beat each other up? Well, I mean when I beat him up? Dad, come back in half an hour and you'll get a live version."

"No, I meant something like-"

"Dad, you can tell me what you mean later. Please. Thanks." I smiled, shutting the door in his face. I heard him sigh before listening to his footsteps getting quieter and quieter.

"So." I said, "That was crazy."

"Yeah," He said, "It was. I see your dad... hasn't changed much."

And that brought me back to the day when I had my first kiss.

With Aiden.
___________________

*insert snickers and smiles and sadness here*

Yeah. This was a wild chapter. Probably the most important one in the entire book, so you really can't miss this chapter unless you want to get EXTREMELY confused.

So let me get this straight.

Lysander likey Julia.

Julia likey Lysander.

Julia say no no we can't date.

Lysander says yeah.

Lysander leaves.

Random guy come in.

Turn out to be Julia's first kiss.

Yep. That's what happened.

Thanks for reading to this point and have an awesome day.

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