Today's a new day

It's a clean slate

You shape the words

You shape the pictures

You're in control of your creation

-calmdownalittle

This year I started going to a homeschool co-op (I'm homeschooled, FYI). And I noticed... I was always the loudest, most opinionated, and the one who came up with mst of the ideas. Everyone else was a bit more quiet and reserved.

I didn't notice it until later, but when I did, I became sort of uncomfortable. Did they all think I was rude? Stupid? The thing was, I did have pretty good ideas. I just wanted to share them. But I was worried I was walking over everyone else.

I started realizing I didn't fit in. Everyone else had been going to this co-op for years. I felt like I butting in on their style, with my excitable personality and new-ness. Basically, I was the odd one out.

I started looking at my life and how I interacted at other social events. I was always the odd one out. At places that I didn't know the people very well, I was pretty quiet. But in my mind, I had way different ideas. I felt scared to share them, worried others would judge me.

When I first started going to that co-op, I was completely confident and not at all insecure. But then, it seemed like everyone else had better manners. I felt like everyone else didn't include me as much. I started over analyzing everything.

But why? Why was I so worried? Why did I care, when I hadn't at the beginning of the year? Why not be myself? Sure, I was the odd one out. I'd always been. That was who I was, so why crush that? 

I started being myself again. It felt good. I was more considerate this time around, though. I made sure others could express their ideas, but I expressed mine. I let people see my weird side.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, be yourself. It doesn't matter what others think. It's okay. You are you. You. You. You. And that's all that matters.

They will try to crush you, whether they realize it or not. They will tell you to stop marching to the beat of your own drum. They will crush that leader in you, or make you one, just because you're quiet or loud or expressive. 

People want to shape you, make you perfect by their standards. That doesn't matter.

You are you. So be you.

Because in a society that flows with the crowd, go in the opposite direction. Your direction.