"Sitting and regretting, what else or I can do now."
I thought leaning my head on the wall of the prison,while looking around,  darkness everywhere... this darkness had engulfed my life too.

After two days, judgement will be announced and my future will be sealed... my career will end... my life will get destroyed.
I was crying thinking about the future.

"I shouldn't have done that... I should have listen to Ronnie..urgh... it's all my fault."I said to myself.

I was in deep thoughts, when I heard the sound of door of the cell being open.
It was a little dark, the only light source was a bulb on the wall near me.

Just then I heard a man voice
"You have 1 hour."

"Okay."
The other person replied

It was some woman voice, I realised.
"But what a woman was doing here?",I thought.

I again heard that man's voice.
"I am standing outside only in case, if he tries to do something."

The woman replied gently,
"Thank you"

Then I heard sound of door closing and sound of heels clicking on the floor, I was still not able to see that woman.

"Vikram"
The woman called my name.

I nodded surprisingly and said,
"Yes,I am Vikram... Who are you? How do you know my name? What are you doing here? Why you have come here?"
I was not able to handle so much of curiosity.

The woman just chuckled and slowly came in light and said,
"Trust me,I know only your name but now I want to know everything about you."

I was looking at her, studying her appearance.
The woman was wearing white shirt with blue denims, her hair were tied in a high ponytail, there were some files in her hand. Her eyes were shining with confidence. Her make up,her physique... she was perfect... she was indeed a beautiful woman.

Suddenly, She snapped her fingers in front of me.
And said,
"Hello, where are you lost? Leave it, let's get started. We don't have enough time... Only 1 hour."

As she was saying, she pulled a chair from the side of the prison room, which I must have failed to notice before, and was going to sit on it but stopped and looked at me and left the chair and she sat beside me on the floor.

Leaving me shocked, I was just looking at her.
She took out her notepad and looked at me.
Again she snapped her fingers at me and said,
"Hello, let's start."

"What start... what are you saying? I am not able to understand anything."
I asked her.

She just sighed and said,
"I am your lawyer, Vikram."

"Lawyer, but I have one."
She interrupted me and said,
"You had one, now I am your new lawyer. Oh sorry, I didn't tell you my name."

She forwarded her hand and said in a full professional manner.
"Hello, Mr.Vikram, I'm your new lawyer, Nitya"

I was just staring at her and forwards my hand for a handshake.

She smiled and started explaining me.
"Your friend Ronnie, asked me to take your case... to be your lawyer and believe me, I don't know why he asked me, since you told me that you already had a lawyer but still he pleaded me to take your case and  here I am and my story ends here now your turn I want to here your story."
She looked at me.

I got angry and told her.
"It is not a story, it's a reality... a fucking reality, do you understand, a reality which I have to accept, no matter what happens... my fate has been sealed, after two days judge will announce his decision and I will get stuck in this hell, for don't know how many years... so please, go you can't win this case... it's a lost case anyways."

"I will decide this Mr.Vikram and you have still chance, your fate is not sealed and talking about judge's decision, if some new evidence... new point will raised in the case, he will surely take that into account and then only will announce the judgement. So,  please cooperate and tell me, I want to know everything... each and every detail Mr.Vikram. If you want to win this case don't hide anything, okay."
She said patiently.

But her explanation made me more angry and I said.
"You... you will listen to me. You
will understand me... my situation, my problem... do you even know anything, it's a Sexual Assault case and I'm the man,bI'm the guilty one here, will you even believe me, what I will say... no, because you are a woman, you will still think that I am wrong, I must have assualted that woman, right... why I am even asking? you had already started seeing me as guilty, as a criminal and you have came here only because you are getting money, you know what you can leave and don't worry about money, you will get it and you don't even have to come in court... it's fine."

And I broke down, tears started spilling out of my eyes.
"Just go, I don't need anyone." I said.

She kept her hand on my shoulder and I shrugged her hand and said,
"Please don't pity me, I don't need your pity."

"Vikram",she gently called my name and said.
"I am not pitying you and trust me, I am not here to help you either."
I shockingly saw her.
"What is she saying?" I thought.

Like reading my thoughts,she again said,
"Yes I am not here to help you, I am here so that everyone gets to know your side of story... so that you can get a chance to prove yourself innocent. I just want to know what exactly happened and trust me I am not going to judge you."

"Why are you so stubborn to take this lost case?" I asked her.

"Everyone has a right to get Justice... to defend himself or herself." She argued shutting me up.
I just nodded.

"So, let's get started..okay."
I again nodded.

After a few deep breaths, I looked towards her. She was looking at me expectantly.
I closed my eyes and leaned by back on the wall and started explaining what actually happened...the truth.

Kavya, our boss's new assistant, in no time, me and my colleagues became friends with her, she was a bold and straight forward type of girl... everyone liked her.
After few days, a rumour started that she and boss were in a realtionship... everyday there would be a new gossip about her.

I don't really cared about it, but one day our colleague, Mr.Amit asked Kavya about her relationship with the boss... I don't know exactly what happened but next day, Amit got fired... we all were so shocked, he was the best in his department.

But after that day, everyone started maintaining a distance with Kavya, everyone was scared with her, including me...what if she said something to the boss about us and got us fired.

Anyways, it was after a month when Amit got fired, when one day I went to boss cabin, to ask for a half day leave when I entered I saw Kavya there, I asked her about the boss. She replied that he went to meet someone.
I nodded and was going back, when she called me. I turned and saw her smirking and coming towards me slowly.
I asked her,
"What...What happened?"

She said,  "Actually, I want your help in some paperwork."

I asked her, "What paperwork?"

She just grabbed my hand and dragged me towards her cabin saying,"come I will show you."
I tried to stopped her but she didn't listen.

When we entered her cabin, she handed me the file and asked me to check this company account. I suspiciously saw her but still started checking the account, suddenly she came behind me, she was very close to me I was feeling very uncomfortable.I just move to other side but again, she started coming closer to me.

I politely said,
"Miss.Kavya, it will be good, if you will stay a bit far from me, I am not able to check the account."

"Why, I was just helping you, Mr.Vikram"
She said.

"I don't want your help." I told her.

"Ohh,are you feeling uncomfortable. Am I making you feel uncomfortable?"
She said in a flirty way.

I just shooked my head and said,
"No, Miss.Kavya, it's not what you are thinking. Actually... forget it, I will take this file in my cabin and will check the accounts there only."
I didn't wait for her reply, I ran from there.
But I didn't know, that this will not be the last time... it was just the beginning.

After some days, I started getting inappropriate messages, pictures, videos on my mobile. First I didn't know who was doing this and why?You know, I literally changed my number twice.
But I don't know how, everytime that person would get my number and again started sending me those... things.

But one day, at the company cafe, I got to know who was behind all of this

Nitya said,
"Kavya."
I nodded at her and continued.

That day, Kavya came behind me and said,
"You are so bad, you are not replying to my messages. Why are you ignoring me... huh?"
I got shocked don't know, what was she saying?

I asked her, "What are you saying, what messages... when did you messaged me?"

"Ohh, don't try to act so innocent, Vikram, you know about what messages I am talking about and... and please stop changing your number, it's irritating."

She took her coffee and went from there leaving me shocked, I wasn't even able to move.
"She was the person who was sending me those messages... she was behind all this, but why... why she was doing this. Is she mad?... she was in relation with my boss and doing this."
I started feeling disgusted and frustrated.

I straight went to my best friend, Ronnie and explained him each and every thing... I told him about the cabin incident, about the messages,  everything.

He too got shocked and advised me,
"Let's go to police,Vikram. It's a crime, whatever she is doing."

I just shooked my head and told him,
"No, I am not going to the police,  Ronnie and she is just sending me messages. I think, if I will clearly tell her to stay away, she will listen... if not I will tell everything to my boss."

He argued and said,
"Vikram, you are not understanding... what you are going through is an offence... she is stalking you... she is harassing you... it's an act of Sexual Assault. We should go to the police."
I interrupted him.
"No, I am not facing any assault... it's just messages and pictures, it's nothing... I think I will just ignore it and she will stop it."

"At that time Nitya, I hope you don't mind calling you."
She interrupted me.
"No,no... please continue, Why didn't you went to the police. Vikram, you should have listened to your friend."

"At that time Nitya, I was just having one thought, I am facing sexual Assault... I am a man and I am facing sexual Assault, how that can be possible.. isn't it the other way around... will anyone even believe me. I explained everything to Ronnie... he was my friend, so he believed me... what about others, are they even going to believe me or even listen to me."I continued.
"You know our society thinking... typical stereotype.
When they listen about Sexual Assault... their mind will only have one thought... a boy and a girl, and that boy must have done something and girl... that poor girl, don't know... what must she had gone through. This will be their first thought, not even once someone will think a man can be sexually assaulted and a women can be the one doing this... that's why... I didn't went to the police. I was ashamed...  ashamed of myself, I was scared what will others think but now when I think, I regret my decision... I should have listened to Ronnie and should have went to the police."

"It's not too late, Vikram... you still have a chance to prove yourself innocent and get Justice... you should punish that women because of whom you went through soo much."She said.

I nodded, somewhat feeling comfortable in talking with her.
I then continued.

Soo, I didn't went to the police, some days went but the messages, pictures  didn't stopped. I was totally disturbed, I became sleep deprived... these messages were soo inappropriate... I don't know what to do... I so many time told her to stop that I am not interested in her but she was not listening but she would always say that we can have a little fun...it can be our little secret, she even bribed me with a promotion from manager of department to head of department but I didn't want anything, I told her but she didn't stopped. I don't know what to do. Whenever, I went to Ronnie he would always advised me to go to police... to file a complaint, etc.etc.

And one day, I couldn't take it any longer, I decided to file a complaint but before that I decided to give a warning to Kavya that if she didn't stopped this time, I will go to police but that day... that day.

Nitya put her hand on my shoulder.
"Your decision was right to warn her but what happened that day Vikram,  please don't feel uncomfortable...tell me."
I saw her and nodded.

That day... our company got a huge project. So, boss had given us half day to celebrate and everyone went but I stayed outside the building to talk to Kavya. I waited for her but she didn't came out, so I went inside... office was empty, I was just going back when I saw her coming out of the washroom.

She saw me and said with a smirk.
"Finally, you agreed with me right... for Our little secret. I know you too can't resist me, Vikram... after all you must have your needs... your desires and trust me and I will fulfill your every desire, every need."

She was slowly coming closer to me.
I stopped her and said strictly.
"No, it's nothing like that. I just came here to warn you Kavya, stop harrasing me... stop sending me all those messages... stop everything or else, I will go to police... I will lodge a complaint against you."

I thought she would get scared and will back out but she started laughing.
I got a little taken aback by her reaction.
I asked her,
"Why are you laughing? You think I am joking... I am lying. You don't believe me, okay... fine then be ready to face consequences, Kavya."

I turned and was going. Suddenly, she hugged me from behind and started roaming her hand on my chest. I tried to remove her hands... I gently pushed her and warned her to stay away and again started going to go but this time she came in front of me and suddenly put her lips on mine and started kissing me. I got to shocked... what the hell was happening, I tried to push her but she was not budging. I used my full force and pushed her and in anger I slapped her, she got shocked and I tried to ran away.
But, I got hit by a hard object. When, I turned I saw Kavya she was holding a flower pot and I lost my conciousness .

When I opened my eyes, I was in the cabin. I was sitting on the chair, my hands and legs were tied to the chair. I tried to open them. Suddenly, I heard that woman voice.
"Don't try, Vikram."

She sighed and again said,
"You are so stubborn, dear... so I have to tie you.
You were going to file a complaint against me... you are so naive, Vikram. Do you think they will believe you?"

"Yes,they will I have proof... you will be punished. Open these ropes, dammit"
I said and  started screaming for help.
"Help someone...Is anyone there...please help me."

"Tch tch, scream... scream Vikram but no one will come... no one will come... only you and me are here all alone."
She said and started coming closer to me.

"Stop, don't come near me...stop there.I am warning you."
I told her.

"Oh come on,Vikram. Drop this, saint act... I know, you want me... come on... be a man."
She said and suddenly sat on my lap and started unbuttoning my shirt, slowly.

"No, I don't want you... I hate u. Stop touching me bitch...don't touch me...stop it. I hate girls like you, who are ready to throw themselves at anyone. You are in a relationship with my boss Kavya.....you are cheating him... for God's sake stop doing all this... okay, just leave me... I will not file any complaint...just stop this and let me go please."
I pleaded her.
 
She was drawing patterns with her fingers on my chest and said,
"Vikram, your boss doesn't satisfy me but when I saw you, I know you will be the one who will quench my thirst... your boss is just a love struck puppy and I will get rid of him soon. Don't worry about him... come on, let's don't waste our time... let's have some fun."
And she started stripping herself,she was only in her innerware. She... she then.

"Vikram, it's fine...you can tell me."
Nitya said gently.

"No, it's just...are you not feeling uncomfortable... you know, with all this...I mean, are you okay... I can stop, if you want or I can skip that part."

She just smiled and said,
"It's fine Vikram, go on. I am fine... I know you are too uncomfortable... you don't want to discuss that part... you don't want to remember that night but still I have to know everything, okay. It's fine take your time, if you want, we can continue it tomorrow."

"No, I want to continue... I want to tell you everything. It's just that... I really don't know how to explain the whole situation."I replied.

"It's fine, Vikram. Just take deep breaths, okay."
I listened to her, took deep breaths and continued.

Kavya placed her hands on my pants and massaged my crotch. She came closer and said in a sensuous voice,
"I know you want to me. I know you like me... you like my touch... come on, stop resisting... show me, how much you like me."

I just shooked my head and said,
"Stop it, please don't... stop it."

I tried to open the ropes but my all efforts were going in vain and tears started spilling out of my eyes. I just have one thought that time.
"Why, why... it was happening to me. God please help me...why me...?"

Suddenly she sat on my lap and started grinding her hips on my lower region. I started feeling very uncomfortable Then, suddenly she started opening zipper of my pants and underwear... and took out my.

I looked at Nitya. She was looking at me worriedly and gestured me to continue.
I just closed my eyes and took deep breaths and continued.

She started touching me down there.I was saying,
"Stop, don't do this... Please"
But she started kissing me forcefully... she bit me on my neck and was going on saying,
"Show me how much you like me,Vikram."

I started feeling very uneasy. I was crying continuously. I begged her to stop but she was not listening and then.

Nitya asked,
"Then, what happened Vikram... tell me."
Almost crying I told her.
"I don't know, Nitya... how it happened... how? I don't want to feel like that. But I just couldn't stopped myself... I tried Nitya... I tried... I just."

"Hey Vikram, it's fine. First tell me what happened, okay. I know it must be difficult for you to tell me about it but please...tell me, okay. Deep breaths remember... I am here only...  it's fine."
I nodded.
And took deep breaths and again continued.

I don't know how but I... I started feeling aroused. I was feeling very humiliated. I was feeling very disgusted... how I can be aroused... she was almost raping me.

Kavya must have felt my arousal. She smirked and said,
"So, you don't like me then what happened... huh, I know all this crying, being a saint... it was just an act, right Vikram."

I felt humiliated. I just felt like killing myself. Suddenly, she started jerking me with her hand fastly. I got shocked and told her to stop.
"Please stop. Please... don't, oh no... please stop."

I tried to stop her but I was tied.
"Shhh, I know you want this."
She said.

I tried to move but nothing happened.
She was going on jerking me then I ejaculate and had a black out because of all the stress, crying and that ejaculation made me tired. Tears were still flowing from my eyes.

Kavya smirked at me and said,
"Here you go. I know you liked it, see yourself. Now what will you say, Vikram."

Suddenly, we heard some noise. Kavya hurriedly wore her clothes.
And freed my hands and legs.

She was just going but turned and said,
"You know you liked it,Vikram. Now what will you complain, huh... a girl sexually assaulted me and I liked it."

She laughed and left from there.

I buried my face in my hands and cried. I cried so much and felt disgusted. How can I like her touched... how can I felt aroused.
I hated myself that time. I felt ashamed... I just wanted to kill myself. I don't know what to do... don't know... how much time I was there in the cabin, crying and cursing myself. Then after sometime I dressed myself and left for my house.

For some days, I didn't even went to office, I didn't even picked anyone call .I locked myself in my apartment... I was scared... I don't know what to do... whom to talk.

Then after some days, Ronnie just barged in my apartment and started scolding me and asked me what happened. I didn't told him... I was feeling very ashamed but he was soo stubborn and at last I told him.

He just hugged and told me that he was here with me that I am not alone and asked me... why I didn't told him before.

I just cried and told him I was ashamed to tell him that, I was sexually assaulted.
I said sorry to him , he consoled me and then seriously told me,
"Vikram, let's go to police. We have to file a complaint against her, come on."

"No,no we can't do this... didn't I told you... what happened. They will ask... if it was a assualt... how can I felt like that."

As I was explaining him, just then door bell rang ,when we opened the door. There was police, we got shocked and asked,
"If there was any problem ?"

"Mr.Vikram Singh?"
Inspector asked looking at us.

I said,
"Yes,I am Vikram... what happened?"

"You are under arrest... Vikram."
He said, making me and Ronnie shocked,we looked at each other.

'Why, what happened inspector?"
Ronnie asked.

"You... who are you?"
Inspector enquired.

I saw our neighbours was just seeing us. They must be very curious why police have came to my apartment.
"I am Ronnie, his friend."
Ronnie replied.

"Mr.Ronnie,your friend has sexually assualted her colleague, Miss.Kavya."
Inspector said and gestured his junior.

They handcuffed me and locked me inside this Jail and then the court proceedings...where I failed to prove myself innocent and here I am. Waiting to get punishment for the crime, I haven't done.
The end.

And, I looked at Nitya.

She was looking at me with worry and concern and then she said,
"Thankyou, Vikram for telling me everything. I know it must have been difficult for you to face all this...to go through this, all alone."

"You, you trust me... you believe me... you didn't think that I am making up a false story like others."
I got shocked.

"Maybe I am an exception."
She mischievously said and winked at me.
I got shocked but smiled a little.

But suddenly, she got very serious,and said.
"Don't worry, Vikram. I will try my best to prove you innocent and let me make you something very, very clear."
I listened to her very keenly.

"Sexual assault can happen to anyone, no matter your age, sexual orientation, or gender identity. Men and boys who have been sexually
assaulted may be confused and wonder what this means... this erection and ejaculation. These are normal physiological responses which do not get in any way ,imply that you wanted, invited, or enjoyed the assault.
Sometimes perpetrators, especially adults..will use these physiological responses to maintain secrecy by using phrases such as, “You know you liked it.” If you have been sexually abused or assaulted, it is not your fault. In no way does an erection invite unwanted sexual activity, and ejaculation in no way condones an assault. It's a stereotype in a sexual Assault situation... that man will be the guilty one and woman must be the victim.
Men and boys like you, also faces challenges believing that is it possible for them to be the victims of sexual violence, especially if it is perpetrated by a woman.
Some men who have survived sexual assault as adults feel shame or self-doubt, believing that they should have been “strong enough” to fight off the perpetrator, and you are one of them, Vikram and I would just say, fight... fight and get out of this situation, Vikram. Don't lose hope... don't be ashamed... first you have to accept this situation. Acceptance is the first step then only you can fight against that woman... accept it happened... accept that what happened was not your fault. Let's get out of this situation... let's win this case... let's change this typical stereotype about men."

She forward her hand towards me and looked at me with confidence and determination shinning in her eyes.

I felt a little confident and looked into her eyes and put my hand on her hand and said,
"Yes, let's do it."
She smiled.

"Thankyou Nitya, thankyou so much...you don't know what you have done...you made me feel relieved, comfortable... make me feel confident. Now I am ready to fight this time, because it was not my fault."
I said.

"Right and please don't thank me. It was my duty... I am a lawyer, remember."
She said.

I chuckled and said,
"Yes I know, but I have seen other lawyers. They don't do, what you have done... other lawyer in this situation maybe asked me to accept the crime. Then they will file for bail but you... you listened my side of the story and believed me... and asked me not to back out or accept the crime but to fight. Thankyou for believing me and supporting me."

She smiled and was going to say something.
Just then the policemen standing outside our cell said,
"Time over mam, you have to go now."

She just nodded and looked at me and said,
"Vikram, don't worry I will try my best. Now we will meet in the court and remember."
I interrupted her.
"It's not my fault."

She grinned and said,
"Right, it's not always a man's fault in Sexual Assault."

And we shakes our hands and she went from there....and I was feeling relieved.

I was full of hope... hope that I will win this case... will be proven innocent and will be soon out of this hell.

"Because I accept, a man can be sexually assualted, he can be a victim of sexual Assault too and it is not always his fault in sexual assualt."