"Paint your scars with the colors of your heart,"

~Virat Kohli~

And I'll always love this team, this feeling, this responsibility, this family even if it's the reason of my brokenness, even if it's suffocating me, even if it's making me question my own worth. I'll always love these people and the home, we create in hotels and fleeting places.

I am certain about this even though every single day, every single day spent in this ICT biobubble is filling me with anxiety, my heart has been hammering with dread and forbidding.

It has been strange few days and nights, nights consisting of gasping and thrashing around, staring stars in midnight and palpating things. The anxiety and unease, just won't leave me. I don't know what to do?

And this lonely breakfast session on our first day in Australia isn't helping matters.

Yuzi, Washy, Siri and Navi were still sleeping and I didn't have the heart to wake them up. Well, most of my team was sleeping anyway and I couldn't sleep, the fears kinda came alive in night, creeping around my heart.

So, here I was playing with my breakfast half-heartedly, the kiwi didn't look at all appetizing. Well, nothing seemed appetizing to me to be truthful. I was still playing with my food when my phone suddenly start ringing.

Frowning, I checked it out and I couldn't help but frown more looking at the caller ID.

"Lil goofball," flashing vibrantly on the screen. I couldn't help check the time on my phone, it was 8:30 am, here in Aus, definitely near 3:00 am or something back home.

Why was this kid calling me, now? Was he alright?I couldn't help but wonder accepting the video call. I waited for the call to stabilize and it took some minutes for me to spot Dev.

Dev who was looking like he has dressed to be a white sheet draped ghost in some Halloween party, the brightly lit room contrasting against his sheet covered appearance.

"Heyaa Ghostuu Devu!!!" I couldn't help but state so amused, the kid was just such a cute soul.

"Bhaiyaa!!!" Dev whined, rolling his eyes as he looked almost exasperated with my naming habit. The kid pouted and then rotated his camera around the room, specially mentioning  "Bhaiyaa! My room,"

"Umm...I know kid, you had given me your room's tour like 100 times already in the last few days and did you really call me at 3 a.m to show your room," I couldn't help but ask the kid pointedly, who was clutching a dog stuff toy with his chin resting on the toy's head.

"Don't talk logical," Dev pouted

"That I always do! Now, the real reason," I couldn't help but ask the pouting kid, who looked displeased with my logical way of speaking.

"I can't sleep, I talked to you for the last 3 months when this happened..." Dev shrugged, then adopting a complaining tone, said almost scandalized "And there's no chocolate at home,"

I couldn't help but chuckle watching the kid's almost offended expression. Dev gave me totally unimpressed looks.

"I'll parcel you some ghost shaped ones," I said trying to mollify the kid. The kid gave me a flat look and I couldn't help but ask a little concerned,"Wanna talk about it?"

The kid nodded his head in negative immediately and I understood, he just wanted to talk about stupid stuff, to not overthink about stuff. So, I asked him teasingly, "How's the adopt paws mission going?"

Dev pouted again, speaking in a tone that totally made it certain that he had been greatly wronged, "Mom is still firm on her stance, her copyrighted dialogue;,Tumhe pal rahi hu kam hai, jo ab kutte bili bhi chahiye,Ha, I know you'll go on tours then who'll take care of them, learn, to take care of yourself first then we will think about getting pets,"

Dev stated perfectly intimating his mother's tone and I couldn't help but laugh again. The kid was a goofball, too sweet and innocent, for his own good.

"Bhai! I know how to take care of myself, don't I? I'm even earning but mom is still you don't know anything," Dev grumbled pouting as he looked at me, his eyes begging for my unconditional support for him.

"Well, I'm on your mom's team kiddo," I doused cold water on all his plans just like that and he glared at me looking quite like an angry kitten.

"Aren't you supposed to be in my team, Virat bro," He whined, I laughed some more while assuring the kid, I was on his team fundamentally. The kid had been keeping me sane for the past few days, his casual talks, love and behavior, the new normal in my life.

"Virat!!" The kid yelled suddenly, his eyes lit with a mad happy vibe, his face reflecting an— I just got a million dollar idea expression and I couldnt help but feel a little wary.  Their million dollars idea always kids ended up in disasters.

"Umm...yes," I asked uncertainly, that expression of wild glee like a bulb going off in the back of mind, didn't spell good news when appearing on the face of my kids.

"Why don't you give me a puppy? Mom, can't say no to a gifted puppy, can she?? Gift me a puppy or a kitten, you can gift me both too. I won't mind," Dev announced merrily with a million dollars smile and I didn't know what to do with this kid?God, he looked so sweet bouncing and buzzing with excitement at the prospect of a pet.

"Umm...DD, I kinda don't want to get blacklisted by your mom," I told Dev sorrily and the kid pouted some more, looking totally not happy with my this decision.

"That's not Fair Vii, mom, won't blacklist you, mom even suggested holding a team dinner in our home," Dev tried his best to reassure me gifting him a puppy wasn't a bad idea. He looked like a puppy to me.

"Well, I don't know...I can give you a teddy certainly, " I reassured him, controlling my laughter very-very hardly, noticing Dev's almost revolted look.

"So, you want a teddy with bat?" I asked him and the kid couldn't help but giggle out my name.

"No,Virat"

"Extra large teddy with a bat or chocolate basket?"

"Virat!!! Naah"

End of Virat pov.

While Virat and Dev were debating about teddy gifts for Dev. A certain Kuliya and Rishu, walked in the eating section of their biobubble induced hotel.

And heard, their Vi bhaiya giggling with a certain Dev prani and even talking about teddy gifts. Now, the two lads who walked in the scene weren't jealous creatures by nature but when the question came about their Virat bhaiyaa, they couldn't quite control their emotions.

"Virat bhaiyaa!" Kul said along with Rishu, totally missing the way Virat flinched before turning towards them with an inviting smile.

"Kuliyaa! RISHU!" Virat greeted the kids as welcoming as ever, his expression one of joy, even if his eyes were pool of sadness and dread.

"You eating alone?" Rishu asked frowning, a certain lanky someone always accompanied Virat on breakfast. 

"Yeah, everyone else were sleeping," Virat made the excuse for the rest of the team.

As Rishu and Kuliyaa sat beside Vi, Rishu innocently stealing a few fruits from Virat's plate while at the same time they were having a stare off contest with Dev. The three of them engaged in studying each other with special scrutiny. 

"Virat!!" Dev said drawing Virat's attention back to himself. He wasn't going to say bhaiya in front of public ever.

"Yeah, kiddo" Virat said indulgently, missing the way the three kids around him were engaged in a glaring match. 

"I think, I'm sleepy again...see you later,my cap," Dev teased, eyes twinkling with joy as he noticed Virat's mentally face palming expression.  Their dear cap hated being addressed as cap.

"Good night,do switch off the lights," Virat advised teasingly.

Dev looked back unimpressed, debating something with himself. He then looked towards Kuliya and Rishu sourly and spoke in a manner that made it clear, he wasnt absolutely happy asking them this.

"Uhm...can you give Virat a bear hug from my side?" Dev asked.

Kuliya and Rishu's face reflected Dev's sour look. Why will they give their Virat bhaiya, a bear hug from that creatures side? They will hug their Virat bhaiya from their side only. But they couldn't say no to Dev in front of Virat. So, they only nodded.

"Right now," Dev insisted, looking at them expectantly and Rishu and Kul scowled at Dev from behind Virat but hugged their big brother tightly nonetheless.

"G'night Veerot, you can sleep to you know," Dev smiled, flashing all his thirty two pearly teeth.

"That's my shirt...isn't it?" Virat asked instead, noticing the shirt lying on the bean bag beside Dev's bed.

"Idk, what you're talking about?" Dev shrugged innocently, bid Vi bye again and disconnected the call.

Virat couldn't help but shake his head muttering about mad kid. Well, many of his shirts had just disappeared and he had suspicions of their whereabouts.  Looks like it got just confirmed, now, he just needs to ask Yuzi, Nav and Washy how many his shirts they had?

"Virat bhaiya!!" Kul said drawing Virat's attention to himself. Well, it has been more than few minutes since they came here and their Vi bhaiya had been still talking about that mad creature.

It was totally unfair. So, for the rest of the breakfast session Kulya and Rishu whined about almost everything they felt wrong in the world to their Virat. Stole food from Virat's plate and even demanded to be fed by Virat. Virat indulged them as always.

He listened to them, teased them and complied with their wishes. Smiling.

Rishu and Kul couldn't spot anything unusual in Virat's behavior as they followed Virat back to his room and spend the rest of day there. Snuggling and chattering with their Virat bhaiya.

They had this intense desire to send a pic of them snuggling with Virat bhaiya to that mad creature. But they controlled themselves and enjoyed their time with their Virat bhaiya.  

Though they didn't quite like it when Washy, Nav, Siri and Yuzi bombarded down in Virat's room, almost breathless and they had to share Virat.

"Hadn't they had enough of chipkuing Virat moments in RCB," Rishu and Kul thought scowling as they had to share their Virat.

Monku joined the gang during lunch while a jealous Rah was sticking to his B-Ro, complaining about an overindulgent creature and brother stealers with the rest of the jealous hoard.

The fourteen days quarantine was being spent in this way. The team enviorment looked as harmonious as ever but under the current their was palpable tension brewing.

Tension that could burst any moment.

It was night time again, the team was having another team dinner session by the pool. Rishu was aiming cherries in Kul's mouth. Yuzi was making videos or video calling, no one knew for certainty. Washy was certainly on video call, so, was Monku. It all started innocently again. Well, as innocently as any Rohirat bickering session starts.

There was a joke thrown. Someone overreacted. Someone else defended. There were others around – concerned friends, exasperated friends – but they stood back, not wanting to speak between two best friends. It was the usual song – a melody of mocking insults and accusations meaning nothing at all. It was just the usual, two equally headstrong and stubborn best-friends goading each other, getting under each other skins.It was the same thing and most of the team was watching the whole scenario unfolding impishly.

Totally unaware of the fact that it wasn't a simple Rohirat fight like before, this time the scenario was different. One of them was hiding underlying pain, simmering with anger, insecurity and apprehension and discomfort riding on the steady beat of tension and fear, counting away measures of words that didn't really mean anything at all. It got ugly mentally. People were watching but it wasn't anything new, just the same old song, the same old unchanging, monotonous song.

He didn't know how it started, but he was so tired of the repetition. Something had to break.

Something had to shift or disappear or just change because he was so, so tired, so worn from this, whatever this was, whatever made them fight each other so hard for so many years. They both were stubborn, maybe that was it – they butted heads because they had to, because there was no other way to be. They fought because we were both unchanging, solid like the earth, immovable and unyielding. Maybe that was it. Maybe.

But something had to break today.

The same jabs, the same mocking words and the meaningless insults thrown and clashes had to stop, before one of them broke forever.

"OH! come on Virat everyone doesn't want to be like you. The fitness poster boy of ICT," Rohit mocked, and Virat looked baffled for a moment before continuing, "But it's necessary Ro. Your healing would have been a lot faster if..."

"Really Virat! Like I don't know my own healing strength. I'm not aiming to be a puma like you, I can stand and hit sixes," Rohit spoke almost snidely, but his eyes made it clear that he didn't mean anything by those words. He was just speaking so for the sake of speaking, jabbing and riling up his friend.

"and run me out always by doing so," Virat retorted.

"It's not always my fault. You run me out too but it's not like perfectly perfect Puma can ever get in trouble for run outs," Ro scoffed and before Virat could respond.

"Perfectly, Perfect Puma," Harry chuckled, repeating the words in a sing-song manner with Jassi and Subh.

"Harry!!" Yuzi warned, trying to stop things from escalating out of control.

But no, one was in the mood of backing up right then.

"Excuse me!!" Virat demanded, a hard edge in his voice, an edge that made Yuzi, Washy and Nav eye him very warily.

"You heard me,Mr exceptional King Kohli with exceptional strike-rotating powers. Let us mere humans be so," Rohit sneered.

"Rohitaaaaa!" Yuzi tried to intervene, he tried to warn Ro with his eyes to not continue down this lane. It won't end good but Rohit wasn't in listening mood and who was Yuzi interfering between two best friends? Who gave Yuzi any right to speak in between Rohirat matters? He was no one to speak in between Rohirat.

Virat tried to hold it in. He did. But Rohit always had a way of pushing his buttons. And now, especially, he was in a bad state. His armour cracked. "No I guess not. But it's not like it really matters, does it? Because you always seem to relish in making sure I get punished some way or another, complaining to Mahi bhai and creating unnecessary controversies, controversies I've to deal with."

"Excuse me?" Rohit demanded, frowning.

"You heard me." Virat responded coolly.

"It's not like you get in trouble anyways. Mahi bhai's darling cheeku doesn't ever get punished, dare anyone say anything against the chase master of India"

"Rohit bhaiyaaa!" Yuzi tried again, wide eyes locked on Virat.

Virat whose face was rapidly going pale. The tiredness of his soul finally reflecting on his face. It felt like the nightmares tormenting him every night was coming to live. There was a hurricane of thoughts in his mind. All of his fears and apprehensions magnifying in the dark abyss of his mind, taking shape.

 "I didn't know you could stoop so low Virat,"

"I don't think, you'll be like this Virat. I am ashamed calling you bhai,"

"I hate you, Virat bhaiya, you did so wrong. You're evil. You hurt Rohit bhaiyaa, so much,"

"All because of your desire to be skipper,"

"I didn't know you'll stoop so low to maintain your position as skipper,"

"You won't ever be our bhaiya again. Just skipper, stay with the title only,"

"We hate you!!!"

"You're evil and bad luck,"

"Not our skipper, never our bhaiya again,"

The demons of his minds whispered in his ears like a hurricane, cancelling out every other sound, every other word around him. He could see Rohit's lips still moving but he couldn't hear what he was speaking. Virat felt the panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in his abdomen. Tension grew in his face and limbs, his mind replaying the last attack, playing tricks with him again. His breathing became more rapid, more shallow.

Virat wanted to flee, he wanted to hide, he wanted to disappear but his limbs had stopped co-operating with him ages ago. He didn't want the world to witness his panic attacks. He didn't want his team to know they were his triggers but it was too late for that already. The thoughts are accelerating inside Virat's head. He want them to slow so he can breathe but they won't. His breaths come in gasps and He feels like He will black out. His heart is hammering inside his chest like it belongs to a rabbit running for its skin. The surrounding spins and he is on the floor, there are hands on him, someone is screaming too. Someone is holding him but he can't, he can't escape the prison of his mind. He couldn't make sense of anything around him. It's all bleary and messed up. He feels so sick and everything is spinning.

In seconds, he is curled tight on the floor like a ball- foetal position, his only movement the trembling of his limbs and salty tears darkening his sleeves.

~to be continued~