"We got you, bhai!!!!"

Sundar was the first one to notice the beginning of the panic attack. He had his eyes locked on his brother and captain as soon as the Rohirat fight began. Well, being quite aware of his brothers state it had kinda become a second nature for him.

He noticed the way Virat bhaiya went pale. The way all the colours disappeared from bhaiya's face. The way bhaiya's eyes went wide and unseeing.

He heard Yuzi bhaiya trying to interfere. He heard Rohit bhaiya ignore Yuzi bhaiya along with everyone else and he felt the flame of his anger burn bright and brilliant. He was feeling so pissed at the team for their apparent blindness or it might have been pent up frustration on himself for failing to notice his Virat bhaiya's symptoms before it was too late making its appearance again, in the form of spite against his teammates for their apparent blindness.

Couldn't they see beyond themselves for just once? Couldn't they be serious for once in their life? Couldn't they see their so-called jokes were hurting Virat bhaiya? Couldn't they see their words were piercing Virat bhai's armour-like arrows? Couldn't they see the bloody arrowhead of their words sticking out of Virat bhaiya's back proudly after piercing Virat bhaiya's heart? Couldn't they see the crimson blood of their bonds dripping down the arrowhead splashing on the ground, mocking the so-called strongest bonds in the world?

And Sundar wanted them to stop with their absurd sense of humour. He wanted them to stop speaking altogether. The testing look on Virat bhai's face and the mocking curl of his lips as he locked his eyes with Rohit sir, prompting the ringing of various warning bells in his mind. Sundar could see the same realization dawning on Yuzi bhaiya's face as he tried in vain to interfere again.

Yuzi bhaiya was ignored again and Virat bhaiya's eyes had donned that faraway look. He looked tired. Empty. Small. Sundar knew he didn't have any right to interfere in the matters of permanent members of ICT, leave in the matters of legends like Virat Kohli and Rohit Sharma but at that moment, he knew, he should say something before it was too late.

But it was too late already. Sundar felt it before he saw it and then it all became a big blur for him. He didn't remember anything else besides the fact that six hands came under Virat bhaiya's head at once protecting it from colliding hard with the cold floor. Sundar didn't know whose hand felt the most impact of the collision with the ground. He just knew they had somehow succeeded in preventing Virat bhaiya from acquiring a serious head injury. Navdeep and Siraj's hand was below his so maybe they faced the burnt of the impact most, Rishab and Kuldeep's hand was above him.

Washington didn't know why or when they ran towards Virat? He just knew they had prevented Virat's head from colliding with the hard floor and sustaining some serious injury and it was all chaos around them. Rishu and Kul were wailing out Virat's name panicked and it took Washy back to the day, they found out about Virat's depression and PTSD. The fear they felt, he felt, when they couldn't feel Virat breathing. Virat was lying on the bed motionless. He just won't wake up. He won't even breathe. The terror that passed through their veins when the doctor informed them that Virat had a slight sleeping pills overdose but he'll be fine.

They had known about the nightmares terrorizing their brother, the depression sucking out his energy then, it wasn't a good feeling. Sundar still remembers the terror from the night and the sleepless nights that followed that night. Dev, Miyaan, Shiv, Nav, Yuzi and he had spent nights just watching Virat's chest rising and falling as he slept. They had spent days and night living in the terror of losing their Virat bhaiya to himself, for that's the thing about Virat Kohli, no one but he can defeat himself and they couldn't let it happen. They just couldn't let it happen.

The warm drops clinging to his skin and Virat bhaiya was clinging to all of them, trembling, seemingly unaware of the world around them. But maybe not so unaware too, the shouts of the rest of the team seemed to terrify Virat and he's taking. Talking like he doesn't have enough time to say what he needs to. His words are crowded together and some are missing. His sentences are fragmented. All his fears are tumbling out unchecked by his brain, he's in some kind of mental free-fall, unable to analyze things or assess risk.

Sundar knows Virat bhiaya didn't ever want them to know all these. These worries weren't for them. These fears weren't for them and no, matter how hard they tried, they couldn't calm their bhaiya. Their voices, especially, the other ICT members seemed to aggravate him most. Their words are bouncing off him like they were hard rain. They keep on repeating it's okay, everything will be okay, again and again, stroking his back.

Sundar needed Virat to calm down. He was trying his best to calm Virat down but he didn't know what he was doing? He could hear Yuzi bhaiya yell at the rest of the team to back off, they were crowding him. They were scaring him more. Yuzi bhaiya yelled something else too. Sundar didn't hear, he couldn't hear it. His whole focus was on his trembling Virat bhaiya. All his focus was on trying to make his Virat bhaiya breathe.

~~~~~~~~~

Rahul didn't know what happened, one second it was the normal bickering and teasing session, the next something shifted and the air around them tackled with energy. No, not positive energy. The air around them seemed to be charged with negativity.

A flux of negativity swirled around them and subconsciously, Rahul felt his gaze move towards Virat and he felt his heart protest as his gaze froze on Virat. Virat Kohli, who was always so vibrant and full of life, was now void of any emotion. He looked tired. Empty. Small. Rahul didn't know why but Virat looked at him and paled even more if that was possible.

Rahul didn't know what happened next? He just noticed Washy, Siraj, Navi sprinting towards Virat and thank god, for that because Virat seemed to collapse the next second. And Rahul felt his breath stuck somewhere inside his chest.

Rahul didn't even realize he was holding his breath until he had to breathe again when his lungs screamed. He hadn't even heard his scream until he realized his mouth was open wide. He closed it and breathed only when Nav, Rishu, Kul, Washy and Siraj held onto Virat.

They were cradling Virat and Rahul was just being so confused, because he didn't know what was happening. He didn't know what was wrong with his Virat. He didn't know why Nav, Siri and Washy looked so panicked. He didn't know why Yuzi looked so resigned and angry. He didn't know why his Virat was trembling on the floor curled in a foetal position.

By the time, he realized what was happening it was too late. Nav and Siri were simultaneously trying to calm Virat while reassuring Rishu and Kul, Virat was okay. It was just another panic attack fit, another panic attack fit!!!

What did they mean by just another panic attack fit? From when was Virat having panic attacks? Why weren't they aware? Why didn't Virat tell him? The thoughts swirled in his mind like a hurricane, they stuck to his consciousness like cologne to his skin.

When he rushed over to them, Yuzi yelled at him to back off; he was crowding Virat. He was terrifying Virat. Rahul never thought a day will come when someone will tell him, he was terrifying Virat. Virat, his brother was scared of him. Something broke inside, Rahul hearing those words.

He didn't know what was going on, everything was happening so fast. Washy and Yuzi were doing their best to calm Virat but it was clear that they didn't quite know what they were doing.

Washy was continuously rubbing Virat's back, trying to get him to focus on his breathing. Yuzi was trying to get Virat to focus on himself and Rahul didn't know, why, or how ABD's voice was coming from beside Yuzi.

"Come on, focus. Come back to us Biscuit"  ABD said, Yuzi, took Virat's face in his hands to force eye contact. "You're okay. You're safe. Just focus on me bhaiya. Breathe in, breathe out. You're safe."

"You're safe, biscuit"

"Breathe in, breathe out. Say it with me Biscuit, 'Stronger Together. Always Together.' Just like we promised. Repeat it for me, please?"

"Yes, Bhaiya!! Always Together as we promised,"

"Stronger Together! Always together! focus on us bhaiya. We are here. We are with you,"

Eyes still glazed over, Virat barely managed to say it back. "Stronger Together always." After a few more minutes of mumbling those words, he stopped shaking and his breathing regulated. He began to come back to himself.

Rahul stood where he was with the rest of the team. It didn't go unnoticed by him, how Virat flinched and looked more distressed with even a silent glace of them. It didn't go unnoticed by him how Washy tried his best to focus Virat's attention on the phone screen and as far away as possible from them.

"Call the therapists to my room?" Yuzi's words washed over him like roaring winds and Rahul found himself running towards the supporting staff's room on full speed along with Shreyas.

Reaching the supporting staff's room. He heard Shreyas gasp out Virat's name and the staff seemed to grasp the situation at once. How did they know? Were they aware of this situation too? If yes, then why didn't he know? Why didn't Virat tell him? Rahul couldn't help but wonder and then curse himself. Leave Virat. How didn't he notice? How did he fail to notice the pain in Virat's eyes?

Did he tell Virat, he was in a bad mental state? After his disastrous debut first inning, no, Virat noticed he was in bad mental space and talked him out of it. How did he fail to notice that Virat was in bad mental space then? How didn't he notice? How bad was Virat's condition really?

Rahul didn't know.

He just vowed to himself that he'd never feel as helpless as he felt at that moment.

~to be continued~

Jonothan Trott writes in his autobiography 'Unguarded': "All those people; all those cameras; all that explanation and scrutiny... I was so exhausted by the mental struggle that cricket had become... I couldn't bear it. So I sat in the car instead... I saw the sun cruelly continue to shine despite my begging it, imploring it to disappear behind a rain cloud. Just briefly I considered driving my car into the Thames or into a tree. That way I could get out of the ordeal..."

All in all, mental health is no joke, and think this type of thoughts latched on Trott in an era, where social media negativity and stuff didn't even enter the scene. Just imagine, the kind of mental pressure on the current generation player and how this negativity affects them.