Later in the city

(A woman, clad it a red pantsuit walks with the Mystery Kids)

Real Estate Agent: I found a fantastic spot for your business.

Dipper: It's more of a research lab.

Real Estate Agent: (She presents an old fire station) What do you think?

Lili: ... That's it?

Norman: It's... Okay.

Real Estate Agent: Let's go look inside.

Once they go inside, they're immediately impressed

Norman: Oh, my God! Look at...

Raz: Look at it!

Lili: Dibs on the fire pole!

Mabel: Look at all the room!

Neil: Look at it!

Dipper: It's perfect!

Norman: We got tons of space!

Lili: Stripper pole! It's mine!

Dipper: Uh, we'll take it.

Real Estate Agent: Great. The rent is $21,000 a month.

Dipper: Go to hell!

Real Estate Agent: Excuse me?

Dipper: I'm sorry. That's the rent?

Real Estate Agent: Yeah.

Dipper: Who can afford that?

Real Estate Agent: All your friend said was that you were looking for a place to explore the unknown.

Dipper: Okay, we need to explore something a lot cheaper.

Lili: (Voice only) There's an upstairs!

Real Estate Agent: ... Are you offended by the smell of Chinese food?

Above a Chinese restaurant

Mabel: (Talking to Bennie) I have now moved above you, and you still can't help me out. How does it take you an hour to go up one flight of stairs?

Bennie: I have really bad knees.

Mabel: You know what? (Reaches into the bag and pulls out some liquid in a plastic container) What is that?

Bennie: It's our hot and sour shrimp soup.

Mabel: That looks like dishwater and one shrimp, and I think it's... I hope that's a water chestnut.

(Dipper turns on a radio, and pop music plays. Raz begins lip syncing and dancing)

Lili: Oh, we're dancing? Alright. (She uses her pyrokinesis to add some style to her dancing)

Dipper: Okay. Let's be safe, though.

(She sets fire to a stack of papers)

Dipper: Lili. Lili. Lili! Fire! Fire's over there! (Neil puts the fire out with his water bottle) Thank you.

Norman: I hate to DeBarge in. (Raz laughs) He loves that.

Raz: Is that by DeBarge?

Neil: I thought it was Sev'ral Times.

Norman: Anyway, I got the website up.

Dipper: Oh.

Norman: I passed out a bunch of fliers all over town, so I'm drumming us up a little business. (He holds up a green flyer that reads "If you see something, say something.")

Dipper: It's catchy. It's good.

Lili: It's the anti-terrorism slogan.

Norman: Oh, God. It is, isn't it?

Neil: I thought it was for like domestic and child abuse.

Mabel: I thought it was for a witness protection program.

Norman: Well, I guess now we know why so many people are calling about suspicious-looking bags.

Dipper: ... I love the green paper. (He puts his arm around him)

Norman: (Rolls his eyes) Thank you.

Lili: I'll go burn these outside. (She takes the fliers and leaves the room just as a young Clark Kent-faced man walks in the room)

Jackson: Hey. Uh, I'm here about the receptionist job.

(Mabel and Norman are smitten)

Mabel: HIRED!

Norman: Agreed!

Dipper: Not yet. Hi.

Jackson: Hi. The receptionist job that was in the paper. Um, that's what I was here about.

Mabel: You're hired!

Norman: Heck, yeah.

Lili: (Walks back in) Okay, I burned the fliers... (Notices Norman and Mabel) God, the both of you are sweaty. I think I got it. "If there's something strange in the..." (She sees Jackson) Oh! Jackson. Right?

Jackson: Jackson. Yeah.

Norman: Hey... We spoke on the phone.

Jackson: We did. Yeah.

Lili: Hello Jackson... (Leans her head back to get a better look) Nice.

Jackson: Okay.

Mabel: Jackson. That's a manly name. My name's Mabel.

Norman: Okay... Well, we should probably get started...Right?

Mabel: Yes. I've got some questions.

In their "office", they're interviewing Kevin

Norman: Okay. Here we go. Um... Okay. All right, first off, I just want to say...

Mabel: You know, we should probably start with a very important question that we're asking all of the applicants. Um, you know, are you seeing anyone right now?

Jackson: Um, seeing anyone?

Norman: Yeah. Just for business purposes. Business purposes only.

Jackson: Well, I'm seeing all six of you. In front of me.

Dipper: Oh, just forget they  even asked, because if they  did, that would be illegal, so...

Jackson: Forgotten.

Dipper: Good.

Jackson: No, I've forgotten. I don't know what you asked.

Raz: There we go.

Lili: Uh, what have you been doing with your whole life?

Mabel: Great question.

Jackson: (scratching his eyes through the eyeglass frames) Oh, well, um, lots of different jobs. Um, I did the "actor thing." Worked for...

Norman: I'm just gonna... Just real quick. Can I ask why no glass?

Jackson: Oh, uh, yeah. They just kept getting dirty, so I took them out.

Norman: That's...

Jackson: Don't have to clean them anymore.

Neil: Oh, boy.

Jackson: Would it be okay if I bring Mike Hat to work sometimes? He has major anxiety problems.

Dipper: You know what? I would love to let your cat live here with you, but I have a pretty severe cat allergy.

Mabel: The funny thing is that he sneezes like a kitten.

Norman: Aw.

Jackson: No, I don't have a cat. He's a dog. His name is Mike Hat.

Neil: Your dog's name is My Cat?

Jackson: No, Mike Hat.

Neil: Your dog's name is Mike, last name Hat?

Jackson: Well, his full name is Michael Hat.

Dipper: I can't say that I'm allergic to dogs, so...

Jackson: It's all right. He lives with my mom.

Lili: Well, then we have that figured out.

Dipper: Okay. That was... One down. No cat. But you know what I say, let's jump ahead, uh... Jackson does a little web design. And I asked him to throw together...maybe a couple of logos for us.

Jackson: Uh-huh. You want to see them?

Mabel: Now is your moment. Pull it out!

Neil: Oh.

Jackson: Sure.

Mabel: Whip it out!

Norman: Come on!

Dipper: Norman, Mabel. You're like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Jackson: Here we go. (He gets out his laptop, and pull up a sketch of a moody ghost with piercings, a purple fringe, and he's on his phone) Okay, so... What do you think of that?

Lili: Oh. Yeah, you do see how this might make us look bad, right?

Jackson: Uh, is it the phone you don't like? 'Cause I can make it a tablet.

Dipper: We seem like very pale emos. You know what? I think it's not always about the end result. It's about the journey.

Jackson: Well, uh, what about this one? (He shows them the 7-Eleven logo)

Lili: Oh, uh...Uh... I think that's already a thing.

Jackson: What, 7-1-1?

Neil: It's 7-Eleven.

Jackson: Yep, it is. I have another option, though.

Lili: Okay, please.

Jackson: It's this one. (He shows them a hotdog floating over a house) That's one of my favorites.

Norman: Uh... I think you might've made a mistake. I don't think that one's for us.

Jackson: Oh, no. No, that's for you. You know, I just thought the floating hot dog implies that a ghost is holding it.

Dipper: ... Your work is more cerebral than I expected.

Jackson: Wanna see some more?

Norman: No, actually we're actually gonna discuss everything just for a second, so if you could just stand over there, we just need to convene for a moment.

Jackson: Okay. (He stands over by an aquarium)

Raz: Sure. All right.

Lili: Thank you. Just go right over there. Don't listen.

Jackson: (covering his eyes) I won't.

Lili: Oh. He covered his eyes.

Mabel: Guys, look, as much as I would like to have him here to look at...

Lili: Um...

Mabel: What? You don't find him attractive?

Lili: Jackson? Oh, yeah.

Raz: Hey!

Norman: Yeah, he's an Adonis.

Dipper: I don't know, guys. I don't know.

Norman: Come on. We need help around here. We cannot keep carrying that equipment up here. And I know the phones aren't ringing off the hook right now, but they will be.

Jackson: You know, an aquarium is a submarine for fish.

Dipper: It's really not!... Listen, let's just see how the rest of the day goes. You know, talk to other people, and we will hire who is most qualified, okay? Deal?

Raz: There are no other people. He's the only applicant.

(Kevin strikes a gong)

Jackson: (covers his eyes) God, that's loud, huh?

Norman: It's loud! Am I shouting?!

Lili: Yes!

Mabel: Jackson. You got the job! Welcome aboard. (She hugs him and blushes)

Jackson: Cool. Can I bring my suitcases up?

Dipper: Yep, you sure can.

Mabel: Five more minutes... (Jackson slips away from her hug and leaves)

Raz. Look at him.

Lili: How can someone so hot be so stupid (She sees Coraline and Wybie sitting on a bench just outside the room) Oh, uh, guys? Yeah, blue hair, and dreadlocks. If you're waiting for takeout, you should really wait downstairs... Wait.

Coraline: The magazine stand was here, so, we just thought that... (She recognizes her old friends) Oh my God. You guys!

Mabel: Group hug!

(Mabel brings everyone in for a group hug)

Wybie: Can't... Breathe!...

Mabel: Coraline, who's your... Chiseled, friend? Is there a male model convention in town?

(The hug breaks, but Mabel continues hugging Wybie)

Wybie: ... Should I push her off?

Coraline: You guys seriously don't remember Wybie?

Lili: What?

Raz: He's Wybie? Wybie Lovat? The same scrawny kid with the slouch and curly hair?

Wybie: I wasn't that scrawny.

Norman: What happened to your slouch?

Mabel: (Feeling his muscles) And that stutter?

Dipper: And your eyes? One was smaller than the other.

Wybie: Oh, that all went away when I turned sixteen. You know, fun fact about this place, this building is built in the same place as the first Chinese gambling den in New York. Did you know that? I mean, it's, like, coincidence, huh? You got a Chinese restaurant built in the same place as a Chinese gambling den

Lili: Okay, yeah, that's Wybie.

Coraline: Also, we got chased by a ghost in the subway.

Dipper: ... What?