"where's the safe, pope?" deran spread his arms, as j and tessa rushed around frantically, knocking tools off the dusty table and extension cords out of the way on the floor. pope glanced around the room, finding it quickly. deran and j rushed to pull at the corners, but it was bolted down. tessa grabbed the backpack, handing it to pope. this was going to take a minute. 

//

"really? some pornos?" tessa's nose scrunched, and she leaned forward on her knees to watch pope toss some cash on the floor. "what do you think, j, tessa? we split the cash and let deran keep the porn." pope motioned to his brother. deran laughed sarcastically. "yeah, well if you had actually cased the place..." he started. "the job was solid. we had time." pope clenched his teeth. deran swung his cigarette, blonde strands of hair sticking out from his half updo of a man bun. "i'm sorry-you're on parole idiot. you get caught, it's a twenty year bid. i was looking out for you." deran responded, tone raising. pope looked up from the floor where he was counting the money. 

"j has more balls than you do." the jabs continued, deran and pope shooting insults and reasons why they were right back and forth. they came nose to nose, glaring at each other. "say thank you j, for actually having some balls." pope said, repeating it in deran's face. "shut up pope!" deran backed away, running a hand through his hair. 

"guys!" tessa clapped her hands. "we have to fucking go. can this macho male testosterone shit wait until we get home?" she opened her palms, gaze traveling from one brother to the next. the two broke away from each other, grabbing the cash, j trailing out after them. tessa took her foot, stomping on the porn and crushing the dvd case and the disk it held inside before following suit. 

//

it was time for a party at the cody house-an often occurrence. tessa was in a good mood-she had successfully pulled off a job without smurf, and to celebrate, she poured herself a vodka, and was dumping strawberries into it when craig and baz returned from their trip. she noticed them entering the pool patio, and she squealed, setting her drink down on the little tiki bar set up. "craig!" she bounded forward, opening her arms and wrapping them around his waist, though careful not the bump his wound. 

"glad you're still alive." she murmured into his large chest. she glanced at baz, waiting for him to say something. he grinned, reaching out and giving her a sideways hug. "missed you, kid. sorry things got a little tense the other night." it was his way of apologizing. "me too." she acknowledged, before turning back to her drink. "vodka?" she offered baz with a smile. he waved his hand, turning it down. "it's a party, baz. live a little. according to the stories, you were one of the liveliest ones as a teenager." she shook her cup, wiggling her brows mysteriously. "oh yeah? and what stories would those be?" he asked, squinting in the sunlight. 

"you know, shit from when i wasn't born yet. when deran and craig were kids, and you, julia and pope were teens-around my age." tessa responded, taking a sip from her cup. "and who told you that?" baz wondered, finding it comical that tessa had heard about his teen days. "smurf and pope, mostly. craig and deran have a few memories too." the girl shrugged, getting a little tipsy as she continued to refill her cup. 

//

the family was gathered around the glass coffee table, sitting on the floor or the red couch. tessa was pretty wasted at this point, aching head in her hands, bottle held loosely in hand as she sat on the floor near craig. 

they were talking about which animal their fathers would have been-apparently pope's was a dolphin, craig's was a bird, tessa's was a lion, while deran's was a killer whale. "actually, deran's dad was a selfish prick. and short, too. he left smurf two weeks before you were born." pope chimed in, staring like a hawk at deran, and giving a look to tessa that was hard for her to understand. 

"i had to deliver your ugly ass myself in a gas station bathroom. slid right out on the floor." he continued. craig's brows crinkled in a coke hazed confusion, and tessa lifted her head from her hands. "jesus, way to kill the mood pope." baz spared a glance at deran, as if he were checking to see if what pope had said would pierce the sensitive man's heart. 

tessa knew that it would, even if he pretended it didn't. pope stood, readying to leave since smurf had told him he couldn't technically live at the cody house-due to parole officer shit. it wasn't fair, the little things like that which made all the difference in the family, little things that made everything different than how it used to be. but things were never good, they just were what they were, in the cody household. 

//

a soft breeze blew through the moonlit air, deran, craig and j out by the pool. baz stood in the kitchen across from smurf, arms crossed. "i don't know if pope being back is a good thing for tessa." he spoke. "what? why? he's always been her favorite, and you know she's his favorite too. they're good for each other." smurf brushed off baz's comment. "are they?" baz shifted. "he's not a good influence on her." baz cleared his throat. 

smurf's fingers froze what they were doing on the counter, and she set down the joint she had been rolling. "okay. baby, is this about something else? are you upset because she listens to pope more than you? are you upset now that pope is back and scared he's going to take over running things?" she asked. baz clenched his jaw, and it was all the answer smurf needed-she knew her boys faces and what they meant. 

//

tessa lay upside down on her bed, head hanging down off the mattress, blood rushing to her head. she liked the fuzzy, numb feeling it gave her. her homework lay open on the bed, half finished, and an empty vodka bottle lay on the floor. 

things were different, now that pope was back. she felt a coexisting spark of happiness and dread, all at once. she preferred to focus on the good things about her protective brother. like how he used to print her seahorse coloring pictures from the internet. how her first word had been pope, not mom. she would toddle around in a diaper, reaching her short arms out and babbling incoherently-the only understandable words being 'want' and 'pope.' he would scoop her up in his arms, lifting her high in the air.

 he was the only one who could get her to eat the nasty peas and carrots shit they canned and called baby food. he was the one who swiped alcohol from her when she was small, when she had gone looking for her sippy cup of juice and found smurf's gown up juice instead. 

//

he could also be loud, or quiet, deadly quiet with a glare you knew meant 'danger'. once, when she was leaving school and he picked her up, a new boy had shoved her backpack, causing her to stumble. she scraped her ankle on the pavement, and pope had been the one in the car line to pick her up. tessa had stood up, fast, praying he hadn't seen-but he had, and in two seconds he was slamming his truck door, walking like the terminator, shades on and all, stalking towards the boy. tessa still doesn't know what he said to the new boy-ryan had been his name-but his face went white, and pope grabbed her hard by the wrist, pulling her to the car despite her pleas to be let go and that she was fine.

 "i can take care of myself. i'm fine, it's just a scrape and he's an asshole." she had said, although the scrape on her ankle burned something awful. "you shouldn't say asshole. you're ten years old." had been his response, as he opened the passenger side door, waiting for her to get in. she had huffed, unshouldering her backpack and tossing it onto the floor, before buckling herself into the seat. she had pouted all the way home, face to the open window and the wind. 

//

so was the way of things with complicated siblings. pope was...pope. deran hid secrets and smoked too much weed. craig snorted too much coke, and hated responsibility. baz thought he was the king of the world and the boss of anyone. tessa didn't know what her vice, and what her bad habit was yet. and she had yet to see what j's was.