In all the world there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world there is no love for you like mine. - Maya Angelou

Songs for this chapter:
Don't Let Me Go - Harry Styles (Yes, I know. But I just couldn't not, you know?!)
The Girl - City and Colour
Breathe Me - Sia

| forty-six |

He held her close to him. She trembled under his firm grasp. But he wasn't going to let her go. She was here and he wasn't going to take any chances and let her walk away again. He made that mistake before. It was a mistake that he wasn't going to happen again. Not if he held her in his arms and protected her from the world. The stars above were always in their favor, he was just too stupid before to realize it. They can run away and distance themselves from the other, but they will always be brought back. Tonight proved that theory to be true.

They sat in his apartment. With his arm around her small body, in which was shaking from the uncontrollable sobs that escaped her lips, he rubbed her back softly. In her ear Harry spoke words of comfort. Even amongst the pain that was eating up inside of her chest, she still managed to hear him. Harry always managed to bring a sense of comfort that she terribly craved.

Hours went came and went. They never moved from their spot on the couch. After hours of crying, she was spent. Her body felt weak. Her heart burned in her chest. Her head ached. Her world was falling to pieces once more. Ava soon after fell asleep. Her head rested in Harry's lap.

Harry was wide awake. His thoughts were running away from him. He couldn't help but question how this happened. In his mind, they were done. The relationship that they possessed was done. Yet, here they were. In his small apartment with her curled up against his lap. A scene that he had become so familiar with and missed so much. His fingers raked through her hair. He couldn't help but wonder how she would react int he morning. Would she run away? Would she regret leaving with him? Harry was nervous to find out the answer.

Soon enough, the morning came. Harry slept for a few hours and was woken up from the sounds of small whimpers. Ava was stirring in her sleep as a few broken sobs came from her mouth. She was having a nightmare, that was clear to Harry.

"Dad! No!" She yelled in her sleep.

Harry put his hands softly on her shoulders. "Baby, wake up." He spoke to her hoping that she would wake from her sleep.

"Stop! Stop! No!" She screamed.

"Baby! Ava, wake up! Wake up! It's only a nightmare."

Ava sat up suddenly. Her eyes were wide but the tears cascaded down her rosy cheeks. She choked on the tears that fought to come out. She began to cough. He pulled her into his lap and rubbed her back. "Sh, it's okay."

She calmed down soon after. A few more tears escaped but he wiped them away gently. She buried her face in his chest. His heart began to speed up whilst her arms wrapped around his torso. One of his hands escaped her firm grasped. He began to stroke small, comforting patterns against her back.

"I'm sorry," she muffled into his shirt.

"There is nothing to be sorry for." His voice was soft.

Ava pulled away. She looked up at him, her face pale and her eyes red. She sniffled. "No. I ruined your party. I'm sorry."

"Ave," he pulled her closer to him as he spoke, "You couldn't have predicted that your dad was going to be there. You didn't ruin anything." She looked down at the mention of her father. "Besides, if anything you saved me. That party was boring as hell." He lifted her chin with his finger. He gave her a small smile hoping to cheer her up. She gave him a half smile but couldn't help but still feel guilty.

She didn't know why she left with him last night. When she saw Harry, her heart sped and her thoughts jumbled. The last thing that she wanted to do was to throw herself and all of her baggage back onto him. He had clearly moved on with his life. But here she was, in his apartment, with her body straddling his lap, while breaking apart. This was inappropriate. She knew that.

He wasn't hers anymore.

She didn't have the privilege to cry on his shoulder. She didn't have the privilege to straddle his lap. She wasn't allowed to want to kiss him, regardless of her vulnerable state. But she did. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to tell him how sorry she was. She wanted to tell him that she made a mistake that day telling him to go. That she was an idiot to overreact. She wanted to tell him that she was scared. She didn't want to get hurt. But most of all, she wanted to tell him that she loved him.

But she couldn't do that.

He had moved on.

Yet she couldn't help but wonder why he brought her home. Why was he holding her tight. And most of all, why did he call her his girlfriend. Her heart wanted to believe that it was because he still loved her too. But her mind was telling her no. The realist in her was scolding her for thinking he'd want her back.

This wasn't a fairytale. This was life and the reality of it all was that he was only being nice. With that she concluded that she needed to go. She needed to respect him and leave. She needed to respect herself and not hope that he was still in love with her too.

Without giving him a second to process what she was doing, Ava quickly got off of his lap. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being here. I should go. I- I have to go." She began to run around his living room searching frantically for her shoes. After a moment, Harry quickly snapped out of his shocked state and got up quickly.

"Wait, what? Don't go!" He reached out for her arm and pulled her to him. "Please, don't go." His eyes were pleading with hers to stay.

"I can't." Her voice came out just above a whisper.

"Why?"

"You have a girlfriend." She didn't look up at him. She was too embarrassed and heartbroken to look him in the eye.

"What?"

"That redhead girl. I overheard her in the bathroom speaking to some other girls. I know you two are... together."

"Libby? Shit, no. We're not together. I mean we were like, together but not together. She's not my girlfriend."

Ava didn't say anything nor did she look up at him. They had sex, her subconscious pointed out the obvious."Oh." She couldn't help the excitement that began to rise inside of her. Even though he clearly moved on in that sense of the word, he was still single. She couldn't help but think it was because he was still in love with her. But she quickly pushed those thoughts back down knowing it wasn't fair to either one of them to come to that conclusion.

"Are you dating that douche?"

Ava snapped out of her thoughts and looked up at Harry confused. "You mean Mack?"

"Sure, Mack. Whatever. He's still a prick."

A small giggle erupted from Ava. He was clearly jealous of Mack and as wrong as it was, Ava was happy that he was.

"He's not my boyfriend. We're just friends."

"You didn't look like friends. He had his fucking arm around you."

"He was just being friendly. Calm down." She rolled her eyes and a real smile crossed her lips.

"Good. I don't like the idea with you him anyways." Harry wrapped his arms around her body tighter. Butterflies flew inside of her stomach as he did that. She needed to leave before he did something else to give her hope that he cared about her still.

"I have to go," she whispered.

"Please stay. I don't want you to go."

"Why?"

"I," Harry furrowed his eyebrows together. His hands began to sweat and his heart began to beat quicker. The words were at the tip of his tongue but he was too nervous to say them. "I miss you." He said softly.

I miss you too, she thought to herself but replied with an "Oh."

She couldn't say it back. As much as she did miss him back, she was too stubborn to put herself back out there.

"Ava," He looked down at her once more. "I have missed you since that moment you told me to leave. Not being near you has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through. It was harder than hearing Delaine die. It was harder than finding out I was going to be a dad. Letting you go was the hardest fucking thing I've ever had to do." The words slipped out before he could stop them. It was too late now to take it all back. This was how he felt, and she needed to know.

"The biggest mistake that I've ever did was to not fight for you. I let my pride and stubbornness hold me back from fighting for the one person who ever showed me what it meant to truly love someone. You were and you fucking still are the one person for me. You are my forever. And I am so fucking damn sorry for not telling you about everything in the first place. I messed up. But Ava, you messed up too." He took a breath in before he continued.

"You messed up when you told me to leave. You overreacted over nothing. I know that you went through a lot of shit in your life. Finding out that your dad is still alive is an example of just that. But, fuck, Ava- you need me. And I fucking need you too. When we fell in love, we fell fast. We were friends first. And I hate that we let something so small ruin it all. These past few months without you have been complete shit and I'm sorry for not telling you this before. But fuck it, I'm telling you now. I love you Ava. I still love you and I will always fucking love you. I know I messed up by sleeping with Libby but she is not you. She didn't please me like you do. I was using her to get over you and you know what? It didn't work. Because I fell for you and I fell for you hard. I want you. I will always want you. So please, please tell me that you do too. Because if you don't, then you can just leave now and you can forget about me and us and what we had. But don't let your own pride and stubbornness hold you back from letting us happen."

Ava stood there. She was in shock. The words that she wanted to hear were being said, but she couldn't help but be mad. "How dare you."

"What?" Harry looked at her dumbfounded.

"How dare you say these things to me now. I just found out that my dad is alive and you have the nerve to tell me all of this?" Her voice booming inside the small room.

"I'm sorry that the timing is shit but if I didn't tell you this now, who knows when I would be able to tell you." He yelled back.

She watched him as he began to harshly breathe in and out as his hands began to clench. As much as she wanted to be mad at him for picking the most inappropriate time to confess his love to her, she couldn't deny how she felt for him back. She loved him. And he was right. They didn't know when they would see one another next, and she needed him the most right now. Her mind was racing and she didn't know what was rational and what wasn't. As much as she wanted to leave him in this moment, she knew that she couldn't. She had to stop being stubborn and push her pride to the side. She needed him but most of all she missed him.

"I love you." Her voice came out small. His brows furrowed.

"What?"

"I said, I love you."

Harry looked at her. His heart was leaping in his throat. His mind was going fast. He didn't think that she would still love him back. He didn't think that his speech would result to this kind of confession. He had expected her to yell, to throw something, to leave and not turn back. But she hadn't done that. Instead, she spoke the three words that he wanted to hear her say.

"I know that you are going through a lot of shit. I know that this is an inappropriate time to say this. But fuck it." Harry stepped in closer and wrapped his hands around her cheeks. "Ava Hastings, can I kiss you right now?" He asked quietly, his voice raspy. She nodded yes.

His lips hovered above hers. His breath hot against her lips. It was gentle. Their lips brushed against one another. It was when their lips met once more that time seemed to have stopped. Everything was still. Not only did he kiss her lips, but he kissed her soul.

She pulled back slightly. Her eyes fluttered and her breathing heavy.

"I missed you too."

Harry's eyes opened slowly. A small smile crept up. He leaned back in and kissed her once more. It was passionate. All of the hurt, stubbornness, pride, love, and need that they felt for the other resonated as their lips met one another.

-

She was wrapped up in his arms. The blankets wrapped around them. She laid her head on his chest. She counted each heartbeat: one, two, there, four. It was an old song to her ears. It was a tune that she loved. She had missed it so much. She missed the feeling of his arms holding her tight against him. It was in this moment that all of the crap that was happening in her life seemed to drift away.

"My dad is alive." She whispered.

"I know."

He ran his fingers up and down her back. She tightened her grasp on his torso. A tear ran down her cheek. My dad is alive, she thought to herself. It was still so surreal to her. She couldn't believe that this was true. But she couldn't help but thank the gods above that were watching down on her, that Harry was here with her. She didn't think that she could do this on her own. She wasn't strong enough.

"What am I going to do?"

"I don't know, baby. I don't know."

Ava didn't know where they were at in their relationship. She didn't know if they were back together or not. But when he called her baby, her heart leaped and a smile brimmed her lips.

"Whatever happens though," he spoke in her ear, his voice extra raspy (something she missed so much), "I am not going to leave you. I will be here. It's going all be okay."

She believed him. She knew that with him standing beside her, everything was going to be okay.

"Don't think about it right now, okay?"

"Okay."

-

Monday morning had come quicker than Harry wanted it to come. The whole weekend was spent with Ava. Not once did they leave his apartment. They didn't speak about where they were at in their relationship, but that didn't matter. Not right now, at least. They watched movies, snuggled, and just savored their time with each other. He knew that she just needed him to be there and he was going to be that for her. He wasn't going to let her go through all of this on her own. He was going to be there for her. He was going to hold her hand through all of this. He would be damned if anyone tried to take him away from her now.

Mack sat at the receptionist desk as Harry walked into the building. He ignored him as he walked towards the elevator. He didn't trust himself near him. He wanted to beat his skull in. Regardless of how many times Ava claimed they were friends and friends only, he couldn't help but hate him.

"Harry, hold up." His fists clenched at his sides. He took a deep breath before he turned around to face him.

"What is it." He spoke harshly.

"I just wanted to ask how Ava is. She isn't answering her calls."

"It's none of your business on how she is." Harry took another deep breath as a way to push the growing anger back down.

"How do you even know her?" Mack asked.

"She's my girlfriend. Was- she was my girlfriend."

"She never mentioned you when we spent all of those nights alone together."

Harry could feel his fists clench and his jaw lock. "Stay away from her," he seethed.

"And why should I do that?" Mack asked cockily.

"Because if you don't, I will bash your fucking head in. That's why." Harry turned around before he did (or say) anything else he would regret and walked into the waiting elevator.

-

A/N: Another chapter! We only have about 15 chapters (maybe more, maybe less) left. Just pre-warning!

VOTE+COMMENT because it brightens up my day. Honestly. I don't know what I'd do without your comments and votes. It makes doing this worth it!

Jenn xx