Songs:

Thunder - Boys like Girls

Wonderwall - Oasis

Nothing Like Us - Justin Bieber (Acoustic version)

| sixty-three |

ONE MONTH LATER

August came to an end making September come quicker than any one had anticipated. The air became slightly crisper and the fall foliage were slowly beginning to change in colour. The vibrant green leaves of the evergreen trees had transformed into deep reds, oranges, and yellows. The weather may have not been as hot as the weather in California, but it was up there. Vancouver had been hit with an Indian summer with temperatures reaching highs of 27 degrees celsius. However, when the night would come, the air would drastically become crisp.

As enjoyable as the heat may be, it was almost unbearable for Ava. Her apartment was a complete sauna. She sat in her kitchen, her legs remaining bare, in only Harry's long forgotten oversized t-shirt. Her fingers gripped the ice cold glass that had been filled to the brim with water. She drank it slowly, enjoying the feeling the icy water gave as it slid down her throat. Her windows were kept opened, allowing the breeze to float in and throughout the stuffy apartment.

Ava remained in her kitchen. Her mind quickly began to slip off into it's own world and thoughts and as always, her mind drifted back to Harry.

It had been exactly a month since that day she said goodbye on the balcony of his launch party. It had been twenty-seven days since she had spoke to his voicemail machine (twice) declaring her love and stupidity. It had been twenty-six days since she woke up hung over and staring at her phone hoping that he would at least text her back. It was now twenty-four days since she had received the simple reply: I love you, too.

That had been it. No I'm ready to talk or any I miss you too's. Only an I love you. Not that she was complaining. She was happy to know that he still loved her, regardless of all the mistakes she had pulled. But her heart still ached knowing that he still did not want to talk to her.

The month had gone by quicker than she realized. With each passing day, Ava found herself reflecting on her life. While sitting on top of the kitchen barstool, she grabbed her white leather bound journal and opened up to a blank page.

Since Ava moved back home, she had found herself writing. She would write about everything that would happen in her life. From everything with Harry, to her father's reappearance in her life, to the simple events of her day. She had found that this simple activity helped her in figuring herself out. She also had the help of her new therapist, Dr. Smith, who was helping her get over her "daddy" and "trust" issues. The journaling helped a great deal in figuring everything out. It was a slow process, but it was working. With each passing day, her demons were becoming quieter. And with each passing day, Ava found her heart mending itself and becoming strong once again.

-

"Good morning my beautiful friends!" Rose walked into the now deserted cafe. Ava and Jacey had just finished the lunchtime rush at Mita's and were winding down behind the counter.

"Hey!" Ava smiled as Rose approached an open barstool.

"Do you know what day it is today?" Rose asked. Her voice was extra pitchy due to excitement making her accent a tad bit harder to understand.

"Your birthday?" Jacey rose an eyebrow as she continued to wipe down the counter.

"Nope! That's not until November." Rose chuckled. "It's been exactly one year since I moved to Vancouver. Can you believe that? I sure can't."

"One year already? That's crazy!" Jacey exclaimed. Ava returned Rose's smile with one of her own. The only difference being that her's wasn't as genuine as Rose's. It's been one year since you met Harry. Her smart mouth subconscious reminder her.

"So! With that being said. I'm having a small party as a celebration of my one year anniversary with Canada. You two, obviously, are invited! I need my two favourite mates there!" She had a massive grin on her lips as she looked at both Ava and Jacey.

"I'm there! When is it?" Jacey questioned.

"This Saturday." Rose looked over at Ava. She noticed that Ava was quieter than usual giving her a slightly awkward feeling in her stomach. "Will you come, Ave?"

Ava looked over at Rose carefully. "Um, I don't know." She looked down at her hands and quickly grabbed the salt and pepper shakers. She quickly occupied her hands by unscrewing each lid - preparing them to be refilled.

"It would mean a lot to me if you came."

"What time?" She hesitantly asked.

"It's at eight until one AM. Please consider it."

Ava took a moment to think about it. As much as she hoped to avoid Harry, she didn't want to disappoint Rose. She had been such a lovely friend to her over the past year. A little party sounded great to her. How she would react when (or if) she saw Harry was something she would figure out later on.

"Okay. We'll be there."

Rose jumped up quickly, her eyes wide. "Really?!" She squeaked.

"Yeah." Ava smiled.

"Oh! Yay! Thank you love!" Rose reached over and awkwardly attempted to give Ava an over the counter hug and nearly knocking over the pepper shaker in the process. "I'll see you tomorrow night then! Oh yay!" She giggled once more before saying goodbye and rushing out of the cafe.

Ava continued to unscrew and refill the salt and pepper shakers that truthfully were not in need of a refill. Jacey threw down the old rag that was in her hands and turned her body fully towards Ava. However, Ava kept her eyes down at the task before her avoiding Jacey's stare.

"So," She began, "You do realize that you will be seeing Harry, right?"

"Yes."

"And you're okay with that?"

Ava let out a small sigh and placed the salt shaker down. She turned her body slightly so that she was now facing Jacey. She leaned to the side so that her elbow was now resting on top of the counter. "I miss him." Her voice was quiet making it slightly difficult for Jacey to hear. She took a step closer to Ava. "But he wanted space. So that's what I've been giving him."

"You two haven't talked in a month. Are you even together?" Her blunt question took Ava back.

"Yes. No. I think?"

"That's not good, Ave. That's not good at all! You guys need to communicate. This no communication thing between you two so that he can have space is only wrecking your relationship."

Ava took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She fiddled with her fingers. Her brows furrowed as she processed Jacey's simple words. "I just, I just want to be okay before we talk."

"Okay about what?"

"Me. Him. Us."

"And how do you feel?"

"That I'm okay. That I made a mistake because I was scared. That I let my stupid head voice talk too loud and direct me towards stupid decisions. That, that I love Harry and want to be with him forever."

"You need to tell him that."

"I know."

"And will you?" Jacey asked.

Silence. "If he lets me."

Jacey nodded slowly. She took a step towards Ava and wrapped her fingers around her hands. "If two people are meant to be together, it will work out. Talk to him when you see him tomorrow."

"I- I don't want to mess this up again."

"You won't." Jacey reassured her. "Now. Are you going to talk to him when you see him?"

"If I see him." Ava countered.

"You will. He's Rose's cousin. He'll be there."

Ava looked up from staring at the dirty tiled floor and into Jacey's concerned eyes. She cocked an eyebrow up and gave her a knowing look. "Alright! Alright." She sighed. "I'll try my best and will talk to him."

-

Harry sat at his desk with a familiar sight before him. A flood of lined pieces of paper were laid out across his desk, each line covered in neatly printed words. He gripped the glass of whiskey in his hand and continued to take slow sips. The liquid burned down his throat leaving a familiar taste behind.

He continued to write, the words flowing fluidly through his pen. With each syllable that was carefully spelt out, he felt an inner release. Writing was his medicine. It was the mender of his broken heart. As he spent each moment penning down his thoughts, he could feel the chaos that was named his heart slowly become less chaotic.

The month seemed to pass by for Harry. The first two weeks was hell. All he could think about was Ava. He missed her. That was something that would never change. He would always miss her when she was not sitting beside him. But the pain that came with missing her became less as the days went by. When he received the two long voicemails a month ago, he felt torn. A part of him wanted to call her back and forgive her. But the part of him that was louder than the rest told him to not do that. He knew that if he did not stand his ground, they would go back to where they were before. A relationship that sat on thin ice. A relationship that did not possess strong trust and was able to break at any moment.

He needed to trust himself before he could trust her again. He was learning that. So, that was what he did. He learnt what it meant to trust his heart again. To be strong in himself and not find reliance on another being. People are fickle. That was what Harry had concluded. People can come and they can go, but your own self will always remain constant.

No longer did Harry feel any sense of brokenness when it came to Delaine. She was done - physically and mentally. All of the pent up anger and hurt that he had pushed aside was finally dealt with. Everything that he still kept as a small reminder of her and their relationship was destroyed. He sent everything that he had of her back home. He cut ties with her cousin. By doing so, he felt his heart physically mend back together. No longer did he feel the pent up anger and frustration at the mere mention of her name. He felt nothing; but that was good.

The next thing that he knew that he had to deal with was his pent up anger towards his mother. Harry had called his father the week previous. They had a long conversation about everything. They talked about his mother, his step mother, as well as expressing his sincere gratitude to his father for raising him. "Harry, you are a smart lad. You always have been. What your mother did towards you was wrong and I don't expect you to forgive her for leaving you like that. But don't hold it in anymore. Let it go. You have me here for you, son."

"I know dad." Harry spoke. His voice quivered as he spoke. "I love you dad. I appreciate everything that you have done for me."

Harry had promised his father that day that he would give his step-mother a chance. A real chance. All of the "mommy issues" that he had harbored needed to go. It was no longer healthy to hold in all of this hurt. It was only breaking him up more inside.

-

"Harry! Hurry up and answer this damn door!" Rose knocked impatiently. It was nine on a Saturday morning. Harry was still asleep in the depths of a cocoon of blankets and pillows. His head pounded slightly, a result of the second glass of whiskey that he drank last night. Extremely groggy, Harry slipped out of his mess of blankets and pillows and waddled over to his front door. He didn't bother to pull on a shirt over his bare torso leaving him in only a pair of grey sweat shorts. It was only Rose, anyways.

"What the fuck do you want?" Harry growled as he opened the door.

"Good morning to you too sleeping beauty," Rose smirked.

"Do you realize that it's nine in the fucking morning on a Saturday?"

"Yes! But do you not realize that it is my party today? Grumpy pants." She quirked an eyebrow at her rather disgruntled cousin.

"You do know that having a party to celebrate one year of living somewhere is rather conceited?" He retorted back.

"Ouch! You wound me." She smirked as she pushed Harry to the side giving herself some room to enter the stuffy apartment. "God, it's hot in here. Do you not know what a fan is?"

"Very fucking funny."

"And to answer your question, Harry, it's more of an excuse to have a party."

"Right."

"Ava will also be there, by the way." Rose smirked once again. She knew that mentioning Ava was quite possibly a bad move on her part, but she needed to see them back together. Rose was perhaps the biggest supporter of Ava and Harry's relationship. She knew that they both had issues that needed to be worked on. Yet at the end of the day, they loved each other and that in itself should be initiative enough to work on what they have.

Harry turned his head quickly, now facing Rose. His brows were furrowed and his eyes were wide. "What?"

"Well, we are friends don't you know."

"Damn it. Shit, Rose, you know that I'm not ready to see her yet." Harry threaded a hand nervously through his unruly hair.

"You need to pull up your big boy pants and face her. She is miserable without you. And don't tell me and say you are not. Because I know for a fact that would be one shitty lie."

Harry slumped his body on a nearby couch. "I'm not ready yet."

"Why not?" Rose asked. She sat down beside Harry on the couch.

"I don't know." He replied quietly.

"You've been writing again." Rose said rather bluntly.

Harry lifted his head and quirked an eyebrow at Rose. "What?"

"You have a half bottle of whiskey on the desk and papers everywhere. You've been writing." She stated.

"Yeah." Harry pulled his hands through his hair once again and scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"What have you been writing about?" Rose asked while she got up to walk over to his desk. Harry quickly stood up and rushed after her.

"Don't." He said simply as he placed his hands over his mess of papers.

"Why?"

"It's personal."

"Harry." Rose shot Harry a look that he knew too well.

"It's about Ava." He replied simply. Rose's eyes lit up suddenly and a grin spread across her face.

"Oh! That's romantic!"

"Yeah well. It's not like I'm going to show her."

"Why not?"

Harry let out a heavy sigh and sat down at his desk. He pulled his hand through his hair. He bit down on his lip as he surveyed the room. "It's personal. It's all about her. How I feel about her. How I want her - forever."

"Then why the hell are you not showing her?"

"I'm not ready."

"Harry. For fucks sake. Just give it to her. You can't keep going around like this. Are you two even together?"

"We're on a break. Essentially, yes."

"Well it sure as hell does not seem like it." Rose stated simply. "If you don't want to lose her forever, I'd give her this tonight. I'll let you stay and finish it. Come to my place later this afternoon to help set up. Be there at like, six, but bring this. Give it to her tonight. Don't lose her, Harry. You'll regret it." She placed her hand on his shoulder causing Harry to look up. "You're better now. I can see it! Let her love you fully and you her. You both need one another."

Harry simply nodded in response. "Alright, I'm going to head out. You finish this now. I'll see you tonight."

"See ya."

Rose smiled once more before she headed out the door leaving Harry in an uneasy mess at his desk.

-

Ava tugged at the romper that she had worn her last night in LA. She had fallen in love with the simple black piece. It was comfortable and eased her of the Indian Summer heat. "Ready to go?" Jacey asked as she pulled on her sandals.

"Yep. Let's go."

The drive to Rose's place was quick. She lived just outside downtown Vancouver in a small lane house. There were cars parked along the lane-way and the door was opened. Music could be heard as they walked up to her door. Ava took a deep breath before she stepped inside.

The house wasn't too packed. Young adults were scattered around the small house. Arctic Monkeys Knee Socks was being played inside the living room. There were about ten people inside the living room, scattered around drinking from bottles. "Want a cooler?" Jacey asked.

Ava nodded her head yes. Jacey passed her a mango vodka cooler. The cool liquid felt refreshing as it slid down her throat. Her eyes scanned the room looking for the one guy that she reluctantly didn't want to see. But to much of her surprise there he was.

Harry was sitting on one of the couches. He was holding a cooler in his hand and was talking to brunette girl. He had a smirk on his face as she talked. Ava felt a pang of jealousy rip through her heart. Would you look at that? Seems like he moved on rather quickly. Her subconscious mocked.

-

"We have pizza!" Rose declared.

Harry's eyes looked up from the brunette girl, Mandy, who was going off about her boyfriend who was moving from Manchester this week. Harry's eyes met with Ava. His heart sped up as he looked at her. She was standing awkwardly in front of him in a silky black romper. Harry could feel his jaw slack as he looked her up and down. He could feel his jeans tighten as he shamelessly checked her out.

Shit. Fucking shit. He thought to himself. She looked amazing - but Harry wouldn't expect anything less. She was beautiful. Always was and always will be.

Her eyes were focused on Mandy. Panic began to rise inside of him. She thinks you've moved on. Way to go idiot. You waited too long.

Harry quickly got up from where he sat and made his way over to where Ava stood. She stayed station where she stood. "Hey." He spoke. Timidly, Ava glanced over at Harry. "Hi," she said back but refraining from making eye contact. "You didn't have to come over here. You were clearly pre-occupied with that girl." She added.

Harry's brows furrowed. "What girl?" Ava nodded her head towards Mandy. "Oh. No, she's a friend of Rose. You actually saved me. She was going on about her boyfriend that is moving from Manchester. She was gushing about how my eyes reminded me of his." Harry quickly explained.

"Oh," She said back. Her cheeks tinted pink, clearly embarrassed about her quick assumption.

"Could we actually go somewhere quieter? I have to talk to you." Ava simply nodded. Harry grabbed her hand in his own. An electric shock shot through both of their arms, energizing their hearts with familiarity. Just the simple skin to skin contact sent a rave of goosebumps to their fiery skin.

Harry led Ava upstairs towards an open guest room. He shut the door behind them and led Ava towards the bed. He sat her down and released her hand from his grasp. He sat a bit away from her, but turned so that hid body was facing her. He reached under the bed and pulled out a small backpack. From inside, he pulled out a small leather bound journal; one similar to Ava's.

"Here." He handed the journal to Ava. She carefully took it from his grasp and placed it on her lap. She looked up and gave him a questioning glance. "Read it. Not here, go home and read it. I wrote it for you. It's, it's about you. About us." He quietly explained. Harry kept his eyes focused on the journal that sat carefully on her lap.

"Oh." Was all that Ava managed to say back.

"Read it and if you want to talk to me, if you still want us, find me. We will talk. But right now, I need you to read that." He pointed to the journal with his chin.

"Okay." Her voice was low, just above a whisper, but loud enough for Harry to hear. Without giving it a second thought, Ava reached her hand out and intertwined it with Harry's. The familiar shock that she had felt earlier went through her body. Harry looked up from where his eyes were focused on her lap, and made contact with her soft hazel eyes. "I love you," she whispered.

"I know." Harry leaned in and gave her a small kiss on her forehead. "I'm going to go home." He spoke against her hair. "I'll see you around."

"Wait!" Ava grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the bed. "Are we," She nervously looked into his confused eyes. "Are we still together?" She hesitantly asked.

"We'll figure that out after. Read it and decide if you still want to be with me." He gave her a half smile in return and walked out of the door leaving Ava just as confused as she was before, sitting on the bed with only the leather bound journal in her hands.

-

Ava sat on the bed, not once moving since Harry left. She opened up the journal and flipped it to the first page. The page was filled with Harry's neat hand writing.

Her hair is soft and smells like home. Her eyes speak of everything that she has saw in this cruel world. It holds the memories of her broken childhood. It also shines for the good that the world has shown her. Her voice is melodic to my ears. Her laugh bringing a pounding sensation to my heart.

She is the saving angel in my world of demons. Without her, I am weak.

But she holds power; much power over my heart and happiness. She has shown me what it means to trust and to love. She has taught me what it means to let go of the distaste pleasures that society can give.

Her name is Ava.

I have fallen in love. Something that I did not think I would fall into. I have become her pupil in the school of anchoring love. She is all that I need in this lifetime to be happy. Without her, I would not be able to wake up in the morning without the heaviness of my past. Without her, I would be unable to let go of my past and move on.

But with great power comes great destruction. She has the ability to make me feel whole, but also has the ability to destroy.

Ava continued to read becoming completely entranced by Harry's words. She knew that he was talented. As she read, her mind went through a storm of emotion. She was hurt, confused, happy, and grateful. He needed her and she needed him.

For the first time since she had met Harry, she finally understood him. And for the millionth time since she met Harry, she had fallen even deeply in love with him.

-

A/N: MY LONGEST CHAPTER EVER. HOLY CRAP. Okay, but seriously. I took forever to write this because we only have TWO chapters left and then an epilogue so I want these next few chapters to not be half-ass'ed and of actual substance. Y'know?! Let me know what you think.

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Love you, J. xx