TW: Okay so I hate having to write trigger warnings but this is just in case. I'm not really sure if this could be classified as a trigger so I'm just gonna put this here. This deals with self deprecation, otherwise known as self hate. Just a warning if anyone gets triggered by that.

Evan's POV

Connor just said he wants to talk after school. That can only mean one thing. He's breaking up with me. He's breaking up with me because I'm holding him back. I'm holding him back from making new friends and he's tired of it. He can't take being seen with me anymore. Yeah, that's it. Well then I'll have to try to be better. I'll do anything for him, even if it makes me feel a tad bit uncomfortable. The thought of me loosing him, no, I repudiate that idea.

I smile as I approach Connor at the lunch table. I plan a sentence in my head before speaking immediately, I know that if I give myself time to think I'll ultimately decide the idea is shit and be left in silence. I pay close attention to the words leaving my mouth so I keep my stuttering to a minimum. "Hey, C-Connie! How was class?" Okay, only once, that has to be a new record. I sit down next to him in the booth. I chide myself mentally for seeming clingy. Too late to change that now.

"Eh.", his eyebrows furrow for a second before he smiles.

I grow concerned. "What's wrong? Did someone try to g-get under your s-skin?" Shit. My worrying ruined it. Just pretend everything's fine. I try my best at a normal expression but it just feels uncomfortable so I drop it.

"You cut down your stuttering.", Connor observes. "I knew you sounded different. Is your therapist helping?"

"Uh...", I mentally slap myself. "...sort of? C-could you answer my question?"

"Oh the teacher was just being rude. Probably silently judging me again but minus the silently part. Being known as the sadistic kid has it perks.", his last sentence is dripping heavily with sarcasm.

I frown and lean against him in the booth with my head on his shoulder. He rests his head on top of mine and wraps his arm around my waist. I giggle and instantly clamp my hand over my mouth. Now it's Connor's turn to frown. He uses his free hand to take my hand away from my mouth and holds it, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

"You're laugh is adorable Ev. Anyone who tells you otherwise will have hell to pay", he says somewhat harshly but also sweetly, somehow. He stares my down before his eyes widen in realization that I can hardly handle looks like that. "I'm sorry Ev. I'm trying to get better, I really am. It's just really difficult to fix something you've been doing for years now.", he mutters, looking down at his lap. I frown.

"I-I get it. It's the s-same way with m-me, j-j-just with my stutter and the fact I-I'm-I'm holding you b-b-back from making n-new friends and th-that's why w-we sit h-here a-alone everyday. I-I'm j-just a n-nuisance.", I start crying quietly and rest my head in my hands. Connor's grip on me becomes tighter until he pulls away. For a moment I'm scared I made him realize this is all my fault and he's going to leave me but then I feel something drape over my shoulders. I look up shyly to see Connor in front of me with a t-shirt on. No hoodie. I look at the cloth around my shoulders for a second before quickly stuffing my hands into the long sleeves. I look up at Connor again to see him smile softly. I return the smile weakly, but it's the thought that counts. Connor takes his thumbs and wipes away my tears. "What's got you all worked up?", he asks calmly and gently.

"Y-you're gonna b-br-break up with m-me.", I mutter, the smile dropping from my face.

"Why would you ever think that?", he asks while trying his best to stay calm. Bits of his anger seep through his words.

"Wh-Why else w-would y-you want to t-talk later?"

"Evan, I was going to ask you to come on our family trip to the mountains. It'll give you a chance to grow comfortable around my family so you don't have to feel like you're intruding all the time.", he explains.

I look up from my lap. "Really?"

"Yes! I love you so much, why would I break up with you?"

"I'm a n-nuisance.", I mumble, glancing back down to my lap.

"What did we talk about yesterday?"

I stay silent.

"Please, Ev?"

"I a-am not a f-failure."

"Good. What else?"

"I'm not as a-annoying as I think I-I am."

"Keep going.", he pushes.

"I'm w-wanted. I'm heard. I-I'm important, I-"

"And I love you.", Connor says.

"I love you too.", I smile weakly, but it's genuine, and that's what matters.

Word Count: 821

A/N

So...that's a lot more depressing than I thought it was gonna be. Sorry? Can you tell I'm trying to make these longer? I'll start leaving the word count at the bottom so I can see if I'm improving. And would you look at that in not uploading literally two minutes before midnight. Okay so I'll leave you now while I think if I should put a trigger warning at the top.

Repudiate- Refuse to accept or be associated with