CHAPTER FOUR

Dear Laptop Notepad,

I really had a tough day today. I saw my mom raging to anger again. I never seen her lie that since that day happened to me. Today was my monthly check-up at my psychiatrist and we had a different exercise that tested my heart and brain. Despite of a tough day, I knew that I made a little progress of recuperating. I shouted the word "Stop" in front of my mother and doctor to end their word fight. Not only that, I met someone and I created a sound that I am not familiar with. I laughed, I was a bit shocked because I did not know I am able to do such. I don't know why was I feeling that way when I was with him. As of now one question remained into my mind, why did I laughed?

-Entry 1140, Blake Patterson.

P.S. His was Faber Von Sheaffer, brands of pens I guess.

I finished my entry and turned off my laptop. I keep a diary at my laptop's notepad but I don 't write every day, only if something happens unusual. I killed my time watching SpongeBob SquarePants earlier and now I am tired. Actually, it wasn't killing the time, I was testing myself if ever I could laugh like I did in the morning. But it was different, inside my mind it was funny but I couldn't produce sound. SpongeBob is a funny character but what I only gave was a smile and no other feelings at all. I decided to lay down at my bed and scrolled my phone. I opened my Facebook account and searched his name but I saw nothing. Maybe he's using a pen name. Now my hope of rekindling is now gone. But I realized why am I settled to find him no matter what?

I don't have much friends on Facebook, the only things that you could see in my newsfeed are the posts of the pages I liked. Most of them are artistic things like DIY, food expertise and any things that are linked to craftsmanship. Some people may find it boring but for me it is Aesthetics especially if I see good photography. To ease my confusion, I decided to visit my favorite page which exhibits VSCO users. I continued to scroll down, and I stopped by a post that shows a photography of the sun setting down with silhouettes of two guys.

I was captivated by how he edited the picture. He turned the amber sky into a new flavor that is enticing to the eyes of the viewers. The silhouettes test your manner of wondering about the mystery. Overall, it makes you connected to the scenery. I checked the post and the page tagged the owner, it was owned by Inked Heart. I visited the owner's account and it isn't a page and I don't know why but my fingers just clicked "Add as friends." I stalked a little and the account.

Seconds after my phone beep and it notify me that Inked Heart accepted your friend request. That was fast, and then I visited his account again, hoping for some hidden posts and there are. Inked Heart has no profile picture and cover photo, it makes me think that this account is legit or not. I was also able to see that he can draw too and skilled at charcoal art.

From: Inked Heart

To: Blake Patterson

Date: April 27, 2010 at 11:50 P.M.

I don't know how did you find my account but your stalking skills are lit, Blake. 😊

To: Inked Heart

From: Blake Patterson

Date: April 27, 2010 at 11:52 P.M.

What are you saying? Who are you? Well, I'm not stupid, I understand that Inked Heart is just pen name but do I know you and if yes how? Tell me, explain it!

From: Inked Heart

To: Blake Patterson

Date: April 27, 2010 at 11: 53

Easy, I did not expect also that you are this talkative Blake. Hahaha! You don't get my pen name, don't you? Think about this Inked and pens.

Of course, I tried to think about to guess the name. But I couldn't unravel the mystery. If you study the posts, I cannot understand why it is inked heart because he features photography not some ink related stuffs. I don't want to answer his message without figuring out what's behind the pen name. I stalked his account for the third time. I found out that Inked Heart is a member of Facebook since 2009. Last year. I reached up to the first profile picture and it was a calligraphy of a quote,

"My ink is my name." it says and it had a signature of, "made with a Sheaffer pen."

I blushed when I read Sheaffer. Could this be the man I met earlier at the hospital? Fate must bring us through. Now I understood the meaning behind his name, Inked Heart because ink is close to his life since the day he was born. It was like inked has been implanted to his soul and heart.

To: Inked Heart

From: Blake Patterson

Date: April 28, 2010 at 12:01 A.M.

Dude, I did not expect that I would met you here. I've seen your account in a page that I liked because you were featured there. The VSCO page. I like your photography skills man, how I wish to be like that. Unfortunately, I am unable to do it because I couldn't find a good scenery. You know, home life sucks. I can only go out when my mom has a day off in her job and she's tagging along so I really prefer to stay and let her rest instead of being adding burden to her.

I sent the message and my heart really beats fast. I'm scared because what if he'll judge me or he finds me annoying. It's not like I purposely added him where in fact I did not know that it was his account. Anyways, I couldn't take back what I sent. I'll just pray that he would be straightforward every time. I don't want to expect a lot.

From: Inked Heart

To: Blake Patterson

Date: April 28, 2010 at 12:15 A.M

Sorry late reply dude, I just got home. You know night life. So yeah, first, your message was overwhelming. Thanks dude, I'm not that good at receiving appreciation but simple thanks would do the trick. Second, dude! For beginners (well, I am too but I began much earlier than you.) You don't need to start on massive things, everything that surrounds us could be a good material. Everywhere and anytime you could capture even at your house just find a good angle and that would be fine. You see, art is the most versatile thing that ever exists in this world, it has no rules and could be expressed in a lot of ways. You, yourself could be the next Leonardo da Vinci if you know how to play with your imaginations. In arts, you don't need to talk too. No offense bro but I find art as the easiest way to express what I really want because even us who can talk has some words that is hard to say.

The message really hit me hard. He is right, I often find some excuse on things that I should be doing. First my voice, there are always enough excuse to procrastinate my recuperation, second in writing my common excuse is I can't express. Third is to be contented on trivial things and my excuse--- My disability. The message really open my mind to greater interventions in life. The message seems to slap the different personalities with disability to m. They become, successful because they start on things that may be small but significant. I don't know what to reply that's why I decided to let the message open.

From: Inked Heart

To: Blake Patterson

Date: April 28, 2010 at 12:30 A.M.

Still awake bro? Oh, I guess you got offended. I am sorry. How should I put this... Would you want to hang out with me tomorrow? Luckily, it is my day off... Also, this is the only way I know to show how sorry I am. My treat and don't worry I would ask permission to your mom, first thing in the morning.

To: Inked Heart

From: Blake Patterson

Date: April 28, 2010 at 12:35 A.M.

No dude, you did not offend me. It's just that I don't know what to reply. Let us put it this way, your message somehow enlightened me and I don't know I just can't construct the sentence. Hahaha! Anyways, don't try to do it. You're just wasting time. Mom won't agree to it. Most of all you'll just be bored.

From: Inked Heart

To: Blake Patterson

Date: April 28, 2010 at 12:36 A.M.

There's nothing wrong in trying dude. I can show you the things that you wanted if you'll come. I need your address dude.

To: Inked Heart

From: Blake Patterson

Date: April 28, 2010 at 12:37 A.M.

Ok, but I'm warning you, she won't agree. Visit me at Candid Village, Blk. 15 Lot 19 Phase 1, Sunflower street. Best of luck dude.

From: Inked Heart

To: Blake Patterson

Date: April 28 at 12:40 A.M

Thanks, your highness, tomorrow you'll be permitted to go out with me. Remember this, no parents can deprive their child's happiness. 😊 Sleep tight. Your mother doesn't want you to stay online all night. See you tomorrow...

I did not reply to his last message instead I prayed for his wish to come true. If it will happen, it would be the start of a different view for me. At least now, I know what's the feeling of having a FIRST FRIEND. I never felt this way before that someone's inviting me for hanging. How far could freedom reach? I tried to sleep but my eyes could not shut down. Dammit, I am so excited for later. I hope God will never fail my expectations. This is the first time I tried to expect and depend on something good.

But the truth is...